Second Thought

Chapter 12

                                                                                    Serenity's POV

    It has been two weeks since I have seen Liam and I know is doing his best to keep Alexander away until he can figure a way out for us. After our night together, I knew that he would fight for us and would rather not give Alexander the opportunity to lay his hands on me again. I knew though that it would only be a matter of time before Alexander caught on to what was going on. There was only so long you could go avoiding someone. I didn't want Alexander to catch on because I wanted to spend all my time with Liam. Liam was exactly who I needed, and I have started to develop strong feelings for him. A few days after sharing that special night together, I started getting worried because I hadn't heard from him. I knew he was doing what he could to keep Alexander busy, but I started to wonder if it wasn't as special for him as it was for me. I mean I had nothing to compare it to and I would be stupid to think that Liam hadn't done those kinds of things with other women. I wanted so bad to have s*x with him that night, but something was telling me to wait a little longer. My feelings for Liam were strong but honestly, I didn't know much about him. We didn't spend much time together and I didn't know what could be so special about me that it would interest him so much. I wanted to make sure that he wasn't just playing me. I didn't have much experience with men in general, but I'd like to think of myself as a smart woman and to know when I was ready. I had always told myself that I would never give myself to a man until we were in love. Of course, I had nothing to compare that to either. How do you know when you are in love? I know that I have never loved anyone before. I surely didn't love my adoptive parents or sister and other than them that was the only people I knew until now. To my surprise, Liam started slipping notes under my door almost every night, just to let me know that he was still trying to figure a way out for us and how he cared. As if on cue, I see a note being slipped under the door. I ran and picked it up and began tearing into it anxious to read it. I couldn't wait to see what he had to say tonight and maybe he was closer to getting us out of here. The note read:

    Serenity, I am counting down the seconds until I lay my eyes on your beauty. I cannot wait to hold you and kiss you again with everything that I have. I have just a few more things to work out, then I can get you out of here. Please be patient with me and know that you are in my every thought.

                                                Yours Always,

                                                            Liam

    He knew exactly what I needed to hear to calm my nerves. I couldn't wait to leave with him. If I was honest, I was a bit nervous. Like I said I didn't know much about Liam, but I trusted him much more than I did Alexander. I knew that if I stayed, there was no telling what Alexander would do next. A few seconds later, lost in my own thoughts, I heard a knock on my door. I quickly fold the note back up and place it in my drawer, just in time too. The door slowly swung open and in stepped Alexander. I sighed. This is the last person that I wanted to see right now. I knew that it would be irrational to think that he would have stayed away forever, but I was hoping it would be long enough for me and Liam to get out. I sighed again, forgetting for a brief moment that Alexander had stepped into the room. He heard me and made his way closer to me. He stood right in front of me, so close that I could feel his hot breath on my face.

    "I have left you alone for long enough. I had some business to attend too but you now have my attention. At least for a little while." He winked.

    "You know Alexander, I was doing fine on my own thank you. I was enjoying my time alone. I am thankful that you were busy so that I didn't have to take the chance of you trying to take advance of me again. It has been refreshing being left alone, and I've gotten to know myself a little bit better. Let me ask you a question for once. Why do you keep me here? It's not like you care about me. I wish that you would just let me go and find someone that wants to be with you. You can find someone that would give you exactly what you want because I'm not going to do that. I'm not a part of this sick game that you have going on. I am not just going to comply and let you do whatever you think you can do to me. From now on, you will not touch me without my permission and if you do you will see a side of me that you have yet to see."

    I heard Alexander started to laugh. He was laughing at me. "I know that you didn't miss me, and I would be a fool to think otherwise. I mean why would you? I've done nothing but treat you poorly since you have arrived here. Listen, I know that I am a bad person and that I have no respect for women or what not, but I want to be better. I am just used to always getting my way in every aspect of my life until you arrived. You defy me and you don't cave into my desire. You push me and challenge me when no one else has ever done that before. It’s like you really enjoy teasing me and pissing me off. I love that about you and that is why you are still here. I am incapable of leaving you alone. When I was looking for my potential bride, I didn't expect to even be interested in a woman like you. I had a plan and I thought that I knew what I wanted. I thought I wanted a girl that was submissive to me in every way. That she would f**k me and let me have my way with her whenever I wanted, that she would cook and clean and never complain, and that she would be an experienced woman. Your none of those things but it is what has been exciting me most about you because you are so opposite of what I thought that I wanted. You drive me wild and I lose control over myself, you make me lose control. You consume every part of me. I want to be better for you. I wanted to give you want you need and what you want but I don't know how I can. I have never wanted this as much as I do with you and I don't know what to do. When I saw you and my brother together, I wanted to kill him. To see his hands all over you and to see you loving it, was all that I could take. You are mine to touch. No other man is to lay his hands on you. Ever. From here on out, I will be the only man that touches you. If you want release, you will have to turn to me. I know that I happen to lose control and my first instinct is to take it out on your body. I'm sorry. My mind tells me to do it, to punish you and my heart is waging a war, telling me to stop. With all of that said, I came here to let you know that I don't have to wait any longer to know that my feelings for you won't change."

    Why was he telling me all of this? I was confused now more than ever. He did sound sincere, like he really meant what he was saying. I don't think that I can feel that way for him after all that he has done to me. It is hard to forgive someone that has given no care about the way he objectives my body. He only felt this way because I didn't cave in to his every desire like all the other women he has dealt with. He doesn't really know how he feels about me other than I am different for the women of his past. Don't get me wrong either, Alexander was a sight. He was sexy and he knew it. The way his blonde hair flopped slightly to the right side, his tight muscles always bulging from his clothing, even his eyes were a sight if you stared at them long enough. The way he held his confidence in himself was hot, but I couldn't let that distract me. No matter how sexy he was, he didn't have the personality to match.

    "Alexander, you only say those things to me because I think you are starting to realize that I am not yours. Your saying these things because you think it will change my mind about you. You want me to be the one to reassure you that you have some good in you, but I won't do that because you don't. I could never forgive you for what you have done to me. You don't own me, and you never will. I'm not a tool you feel you can use whenever you feel it benefits you. You can't just use me just because you think that you can. Whatever you think you can get from me, rethink it now because you can't. I will not allow you to try and use me anymore. I am a person that has feelings too and you have broken me. I thought I was broken in the many years I had spent in that cell but that never compared to how broken I feel when you abuse and use me for you own personal gain."

    "That isn't true. I do care for you and I know my actions don't exactly prove that. Your right, I do use you because that is who I am. I want to do better and to be better for you. I know that you don't see that, but I can only try to show you going forward. Why do you think that I stayed away? It wasn't because I was so busy that I didn't have time to come see you. It was because I didn't want to do something I would regret later, and I didn't want to hurt you again. I'm truly sorry for how I have acted, and my actions are not justified. If you could just give me another chance, I know I could prove to you that I can do better. The things that I have done to you, won't happen again."

    "Your wrong. The things you do will continue to happen because like you said you can't control yourself. You always have to have control and get what you want."

    "I can try. Please just let me try." Alexander presses his lips to mine but this time it was much different. He was gentle and his lips were soft, and it wasn't forced like before. He grabbed my waist and softly pushed me into him. I could feel his length against me. I wasn't sure what I was doing but my lips were crashing against his lips, moving at that same pace his were. No, this is not right. I was being sucked in and giving him exactly what he wanted. I pushed him away and he looked at me confused.

    "You can't just kiss me like that Alexander. It’s not right."

    "Why did you stop? Did you not feel how exciting that was? I know you felt that."

    "No, it was wrong. You may have felt something, but I didn't." I lied.

    "Serenity, the faster you give in to this, the better. I know that you want me. I can sense it. Your face gives you away. Your flushed and you are pressing your legs together tightly. You don't want to admit to yourself that it feels right because you feel like it should be wrong. You see what you do to me and that doesn't happen with just anyone. I can give you want you want. I can make you feel like you have never felt before. Just give in to it."

    Before I could even respond, Alexander picked me up, wrapped my legs around his waist and pressed my back to the bedroom wall. With one hand he grabbed both of my hands and held them above my head. He started swaying his hips into me, while planting kisses on my neck. I licked my lips as my body felt like it was melting under his grasp. This felt so good and, in that moment, I couldn't think of why I didn't want him. He grabbed my breast and put my n*****s between his fingers, and I let out a small moan.

    "That’s right baby, feel it."

    As he said that, I snapped out of it. "Stop." He didn't stop though. He only picked up his pace moving his hips faster and faster against me. The friction the contact was making felt so good and made me so hot. I knew that I didn't want this, but I also wanted it at this same time. Just as I was about to let go, he stopped and dropped me to the ground.

    "What the hell is that?' He pointed to the note that was sticking out of the drawer. s**t