Second Thought

Chapter 37

Serenity’s POV

        As soon as I got home last night I went straight to my room. We were both thinking the same thing. How could I be so stupid. My body was in complete control and it wasn’t allowing me to let him stop when he needed too. I was furious last night. He was right about one thing though, having s*x relieved all that frustration and rage I was feeling. But it left me with another feeling. Worry. Being a mother was one of things I always dreamt about but now wasn’t the time. Alexander and I were still not in a place we needed to be at to be parents. We needed to talk about this. He must have slept in the living room last night because he didn’t come to bed with me. It was a little disappointing because he needed to be here for me. We both had the same things playing in our minds and the last thing I wanted to do was to be alone.

        Opening the door to my bedroom, I walked out to find him. He was no where to be found. The blankets and pillow he used last night where now folded up on the couch. Where the hell did he go? Walking into the kitchen, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye resting on the kitchen island. It was a note from Alexander.

            My beautiful Serenity,

                        My intention was not to leave here but I must. I am not good for you and after last night I realize that. I’m sorry to do this over a letter but I couldn’t take a chance of you stopping me from leaving. We both know the affect you have on me. You deserve the world and right now I’m in no position to give it to you. You mean more to me than you will ever understand but I have to get somethings with myself under control. I want to be the man that you deserve but I’m not. I hope you understand that this is for the best. This is not goodbye. This is a please go live your life while I work on myself for you. Do not wait for me. Shall you become pregnant after last night events, have Liam call me. I will be there. Until then, I need to do this. I can’t do this with you. When I’m with you I don’t think straight, and I lose all control of myself. Please understand why I must do this. I love you Serenity Williams. More than you will ever understand.

                        With all my love,

                                    Alexander

        He left me. He actually left me. Crumpling the letter up, throwing it the trash, I stalked back to my bedroom. The hell with him. The hell with Liam. The hell with all of this. I want to be alone. Quickly grabbing all the things that were mine, I left. From working I had already saved up a couple thousand dollars. The first thing I wanted to do was to find me a car. I wanted to drive far away from here and them.

        Pulling up to car lot, I paid the taxi driver and exited quickly. With all my things in hand, I trampled over to the entrance of the lot where I was greeted by an overweight salesman.

        “Well hello and welcome. How can I be of service today?”

        “I’m looking for a vehicle. I can make payments if needed and I also have a sizable down p*****t. The car I’m looking for has to be able to make it long distances. Nothing that needs repairs, or anything done to it. I need it ready right now to drive off lot.”

        “Great! I’m sure we can work something out. Follow me.”

        We walked out into the massive lot crowded with different types of cars. It was overwhelming. I knew nothing about cars. At this point I didn’t care what kind of car it was as long as it drove fine. The salesman was pointing to different cars to see if they spiked my interest. Once we came to a light pink mustang, I knew this was it.

        “How about this one?” I said as I pointed to the car.

        “Oh yes. This is a nice ride. She has all modern updates you could ever want. She has 40,000 miles on her and one previous owner. The owner decided to upgrade to a nicer vehicle so here it is. If you would like, we can come inside and do some paperwork to see what we can get worked out.”

        I followed him inside, taking a seat at a small desk. I’ve never bought a car, so I wasn’t sure how this worked really. He began going over the process of having to pull my credit. Explaining to him that I didn’t have credit seemed to spike his interest and not in a good way. He did say that they do work with no credit or low credit but that would make my down p*****t bigger. After an hour of discussion about it, he finally told me that the down p*****t would be $3000 and monthly payments would run me about $259 per month. The $3000 was all the cash I had in my pocket, but this was worth it. We finalized everything and he handed me the keys.

        My things were placed in the backseat of the mustang and I jumped in the driver’s seat. Before long I was driving straight out of Georgia, my destination unknown. I did manage to call my work and let them know I quit. The sad thing was that I was really starting to like that place. The tips were great, and the overall feel of the place was one that I really enjoyed. Having no idea where to go though was making it difficult. I had enough money to put a little bit of gas in the car and that was it. No money for food, drink, or a place to stay. Liam constantly tried calling my phone, but I refused to answer. I was taking myself out of that situation. Leaving the Woods brothers alone for good.

        After hours of driving, I pulled over into a hotel. The plan was to sleep out in my car. By this time I was starving and had no way of getting food. The sign on the door said help wanted so I stepped inside.

        An older woman approached the front desk. “May I help you young lady?”

        “Yes, I saw the sign on your door that you were looking for some help. I’m really just passing through, but I have no money to go any further. I can work a few weeks if that would be okay.”

        “We are in need of a housekeeper, but I wasn’t looking for temporary employee.”

        “Please, I need the money. I’ll work extra hard. You won’t be disappointed in my work. Its just that I have no money for food with nowhere to go.”

        She let out a long sigh, “okay. We can work something out I suppose. My name is Mia. You can stay in one of the hotel rooms as long as you work here. I’ll provide your food for the first week but after that your own your own. You will get paid once a week. It doesn’t pay a whole lot if I’m being honest. It will be $9 an hour.”

        “I’ll take it. Thank you so much! My name is Serenity. When would you like for me to start?”

        “If it is okay with you, you can start now. I’ll have some food ready for you in about an hour. You can come down and eat then I will provide you with a key to your room.”

        We shook hands. Mia provided me with the key to the cleaning closet. She gave me directions on how to get there and the proper instructions on how to get started.

**

        A month later I was able to finally leave. I thanked Mia for all her help. I had saved up about $1200 and was ready to continue my journey to wherever it led. Jumping into my car, I debated on which direction to head. My next stop on this journey was going to be to Missouri. Twelve hours later I was there. I’m not sure why I chose this place. It did hold any type of significance for me or anything. I was just trying to distant myself far from everyone I ever knew. Missouri was incredibly beautiful. It had such a scenic view. My stop was in St. Louis and my mind was completely blown. Pulling through the streets here was breathtaking. The old beautiful building, the amazing parks, and the largely placed statues throughout. Strangely this place felt like home. As I was pulling in front of the largely sized hotel, I noticed the big arch that was closely by. This city could have a lot to offer. I could already tell. After booking a room for a few nights, I started to look on my cell phone about places that were hiring around me. My plan now was to settle down for a little while and see where things go. There was a barista job that just had come open at the local coffee shop. It was just about a block from my hotel room. Gathering myself with the appropriate attire, I headed down toward the coffee shop.

        Standing in front of the coffee shop, the sign read: The Steamy Mug. Interesting. Nervously, opening the door to the place, I stepped in. It was a big shop, but it was comfortable. There were pictures of everything related to coffee hanging everywhere. The smell of French style coffee filled my nostrils. Following the aroma of the coffee to the counter that was filled with employees running back and forth from machine to machine. It was fascinating to watch. This was a job I could love. Upbeat and fast paced. One of the gentlemen handed me an application and moments later after completing it I turned it over to him.

        It was time to go shopping for some food. The internet pulled up from my phone to give me a location of the closest market. There was an outside market just a 5-minute walk from me. Walking around the market and gathering just enough items to get me through the week, I was ready to checkout. While turning the corner, a man ran right into me, knocking me to the ground.

        “Oh s**t. I’m so sorry.” He said as he gathered my items up for me helping me to my feet.

        “Really it is okay. I should have been watching where I was going.” Finally looking up as he offered me his hand. Damn he was good looking. He had a pure white smile with short sandy brown hair that stood up in the front. He was dressed in an orange tank top and gym shorts. His face was dripping with sweat as I can only assume he was running. Obviously, he was very athletic as the brawny muscles popped from his shirt. While pushing a strand of hair behind my ear, he welcomed his hand.

        “My name is Benjamin, but everyone just calls me Ben.” We shook hands as he continued to smile down upon me.

        “Nice to meet you Ben. My name is Serenity.”

        “What a beautiful name. A beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”

        “Thank you for your help.” My legs started carrying me off away from him. The last thing I need is another man in my life.

        “Excuse me?” Ben yelled from behind me. Stopping dead in my tracks, my body turned to meet his. “To say I’m sorry, can I take you out?”

        “No. You sound like a great guy. I just got out of something and not looking to jump right back in.”

        “That’s cool. We can go out as friends. You look like you could use a friend.”

        Need a friend? Sure, but not a sexy one. Not one that I am attracted too. Ben grabbed my phone and programmed his number into it.

        “What are you doing?”

        “Anytime you need that friend, feel free to call. By the way, it would be nice to have yours as well. I don’t answer text or calls that I don’t know how they are from.”

        I give him my number against my better judgment. “You probably will not even remember who I am. I’m sure you have plenty of women that keep you busy.” Why did I say that? My mouth never said what I really needed it to say.

        He smirked, showing his pearly white teeth. “No women in my life currently. Trust me, I will definitely remember you.” Ben’s eyes scanned over my body before he turned to start up his run once again.