Second Thought

Chapter 23

Serenity's POV

            It has been a whole week since I have seen Alexander. He said that he was going to have to let me go. What does that even mean? I did not know if I wanted to go. I started to develop feelings for him. Now, I know how deeply he cares, and his honesty made me fall for him even more. I know he has done some messed up things to me and nothing will ever justify that. Maybe he is good after all, just misguided. I could not help but think he just needed someone to really point him in the right direction all along. I was in an impossible situation. I knew that Liam somewhat cared for me but now knowing what I do, I do not feel for him the same. Now, I cared for Alexander more than ever and he does not want me. He wants to let me go. I can only assume he thinks I will be happier without him, but I am not so sure. Now knowing how he feels about me and my own feelings confirmed, I do not know that I want to be without him.

            My nurse had already come through the door, but I was so stuck in my own thoughts, I had not noticed. "Hello Ms. Williams. Nice to see you again. If I must say, you’re looking much better.”

            "Thank you, I feel much better."

            "Well then, let's get you checked out."

            I sat there while she checked my vitals and my head. I'm not even sure how long it took but before I knew it, she said, "It looks like everything is good from here. No signs of the concussion. You can stop your medication and return to your normal activity. Just be careful from now on Ms."

            "Thank you so much for what you have done." She smiled and left the room, leaving me to my thoughts once more. I did not even know what I was going to do about Alexander. Should I leave? To see how my life can be without him. Maybe I could find someone else. Although, I doubt I would be able to stop thinking about Alexander. He was programmed into my every thought now. I had to see him. Before I could make up my mind for sure, I had to see him. I gathered myself up and headed down the hall to my old room. I knocked once I got to the door but no response. I walked in, though Alexander was not in sight. I heard the shower running so I stripped off my clothing and headed toward the bathroom. I stood at the doorway, unsure of what to do really. I was nervous because this could go either good or bad. Before I could talk myself out if, I pushed the shower curtain back and stepped in to face him.

            "Serenity? What are you doing in here?" I saw him eye me from head to toe with complete shock written all over his face. I did not say anything. I did not want to say anything. I just needed him close to me. I edged myself closer to him, pushing his body against the wet tile. Standing on the tip of my toes, I placed my lips onto his. He pushed his hand behind my head to push me into his kiss even more. He needed this just as much as I did. Our kiss deepened, starting off slowly then picking up faster and faster. The water was making the kiss even hotter and I moaned into his mouth. He grabbed my thighs and picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist. He turned me around and my body crashed under the hot water of the shower. He pressed my back against the cold tile while placing kisses up and down my neck. I pushed my hands into his now wet hair and pulled slightly. "Gahh" He moaned and found my mouth again. Our tongues began to move in perfect rhythm with each other. I took my other hand and found his length. I placed my hands around him and began to move. "Serenity, stop. You need to be taking it easy remember?"

            "I remember, but the nurse already came by and cleared me. No more concussion. She told me I can resume my life as normal."

            "Wow that is great news." His smile turned to frown quickly. "Still, we can't do this." He drops me back down on the shower floor, grabbed his towel and stepped out.

            I followed right behind him, not caring that I did not have a towel. "Okay, so you don't want me then. Is that it? You are so confusing. One minute your telling me that you love me then the next minute your telling me you do not want me. Which is it?"

            "No Serenity, I do want you. I want you so much, but I just cannot. You deserve to have the world and to be happy. I want you to have a chance at a normal life."

            "If you would just stop for two seconds, you would understand I am happy. I am happy right now here with you. I do not want you to let me go Alexander. I want to stay here with you."

            He looks back toward me, a smile playing across his lips. "You want me?"

            All I did was nod and it was enough for him. He picked me up and brought me over to the bed. He placed me carefully down on my back and climbed over top of me, dropping his towel as he did. He leant down and kissed me, but this was a different kind of kiss. This kiss was filled with s****l passion and I welcomed it. I found his length again but this time he did not stop me. He pulled from our kiss, tilted his head back and let out a moan. Seeing him like this was so hot. Seeing how I could do this to him was so hot. I let go of him long enough to push him on the bed and drop to my knees. I took him in my mouth and began to go to work. I started flicking my tongue at the top of his length while stroking him with my hand. "Just like that." I heard him let out in a raspy voice. I was enjoying making him feel this way. It was like he was my drug and I loved the way the high made me feel. I started moving faster and faster and felt him tense under my touch. He started moving his hips into me and grabbed my head, pushing me further onto him. Faster and faster he went, and he let go, filling my mouth as he did. I stood, proud of myself and wiping my mouth. He wrapped his arms around me and forced me to the bed beside him. "Your turn," he said as he straddled me.

            "I want you. I want all of you, right now."

            "Are you sure, I don't want to do anything that you’re not comfortable with."

            "Yes, I'm sure. Now, shut up and come here." I motion for him to kiss me. He does as he is told and brings his mouth to mine. He then kisses down to my breast, circling his tongue on my n****e. I was so aroused, and he was only making it worse. "Please," I begged him. I needed a release and I needed it soon. Instead of giving me the release the way I thought he would, he entered one finger inside me. After a few moments of steadily moving in and out, he added another finger. The feeling was sensational and even a little painful. I did not want him to stop but at the same time, I needed more. He slowly lowered his face in between my legs, circling his tongue around me while pushing his fingers in and out. His paced picked up as my moans got louder. My legs began to shake in a familiar way, he also caught onto this and moved inside me faster and faster. I found my release, climaxing repeatedly. He lifted his head, clearly satisfied with himself.

            Alexander moved his body back up to mine and found my lips. "I want you to taste yourself," he says as he pushes his tongue inside my mouth. The thought of tasting myself was just dirty. It felt wrong but the moment his tongue touched mine, it felt so right. We pulled apart from each other at the same time and he looked down at me with promise. He stood up and reached into the nightstand for a condom. "Do you want to do this part?" He held the condom up over his length. I just stared at it. I was a little confused on how that small thing was going to fit over him. He reached over, pulled me to sit on the bed, and handed me the condom. "Pinch the top and slip it over carefully" I do as he says, hands shaking. I do not know why but I felt completely embarrassed. He sensed this too and chuckled a little. He grabbed up under my chin and tilted my head, so I was looking straight at him. "It's okay, I know you don't know about these things. We will take it slow; I promise."

            "Okay, I trust you." Carefully, he laid me back onto the bed and climbed back on top of me, spreading my legs with his knees. My chest started moving up and down, my breathing getting harder. I was extremely nervous. I did not know what I was doing and the last thing I wanted to do was to mess this up. He reached down and kissed me softly, feeling him near my s*x. Okay, this was it. This was really happening. With my heart beating faster and faster, I held my breath. He entered me very slowly and stopped once he was inside. I winced at the pain and every time he moved, it made it worse.

            He looked down over me and saw the tears that had escaped my eyes. "Hey, it's okay. Do you want me to stop?"

            "No, just give me a minute." He shook his head and he did as I asked and stayed completely still. When I nodded for him to start again, he moved little by little, swaying his hips from side to side. The pain stated to subside the more he moved inside me, and he sensed this as well. With the pain starting to subside, the pleasure started taking over. The feeling of having him inside me was thrilling, satisfying, and all so pleasurable.

            "s**t Serenity, your so f*****g tight." Alexander clutched my hair in his hands and really started to move. His words were having an effect on me too. They were making this so much hotter. Watching his face when he slipped out and back in again was pure ecstasy. Once the pain was completely gone, I started flexing my hips in with his, creating a perfect rhythm. The sensation I was getting lost in suddenly was gone when I felt him slip out of me. Instead of saying anything, he flipped me over, my backside facing him. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me up. Once I was in the position on my elbows and knees, he pushes my top half back onto the bed, my ass sticking up in the air. He entered himself into me again, slamming himself inside over and over. A hard smack fell right on top of my ass and I heard him let out the sexiest moan. "You have such a beautiful ass. One day, I will claim this too." I started moaning at his words and this seemed to have a pleasant effect on him. It seemed as if the more I moaned to the pleasure he gave me, the more it turned him on.

            "Alexander," I said calling his name as I found my release. It seemed to go on forever, feeling like I was on a high I did not want to come down from. This was much different, much better than the times I spent just messing around. Alexander pulled out from me again and he stretched himself out on the bed.

            "On top," he ordered. I huffed and crossed my arms. He let out a laugh, grabbed me until I was straddling him, and I lowered myself onto him. Whoa, this was so much deeper. I was not sure what do to. I figured this was a woman’s way of being in control and I decided to move my body. I pushed myself up and down on top of him, picking up my pace once I understood what to do. I watched his mouth drop wide open and I licked my lips. He reached over to grab my hand, sticking my finger in his mouth, sucking it. This sent a sensation throughout my body. With my other hand I clutched the side of the bed, looking for something to help me make my moving easier. Alexander sat up and reached for my breast. He took one in each hand, bouncing into them with my every movement. He made his way over to my right n****e, biting and sucking at it. I could not hold on much longer. I did not know how I would be able to hold my body up any longer. "I'm so close Serenity, please keep going. Don't stop." I tried to focus on his words, but I was lost as my body crashed around him in the most intense orgasm I have had. I slowed my movements on top of him, hardly able to hold up own body. Alexander did not stop though, as he thrust inside me again and again. He held me close to him and finally found his release, "oh Serenity." We both crashed against the bed, hardly able to breath. He reached over himself, pulling the condom off and tossing into the trash can. After that, he cuddled up next to me, not saying anything at all and we both drifted off to sleep.