Healed by the Scottish beauty

Chapter Eight - A confused state...

Samuel’s P.O.V

What was I thinking? Why did I do that? I shouldn’t have done that but I wanted to…badly. That was a couple of hours ago and I couldn’t get the feel of her lips out of my head. I had not mentioned it, neither had she and maybe that was for the best right? I don’t even know anymore, I am in a very confused state right now. Do I like her? Lusting after her? Am I looking for comfort from her? I honestly don’t know. One thing I do know? I don’t wanna end up just doing things like that because I am lonely and hurting, that is not the sort of person I am and she sure as hell deserves more than that.

“Ready to move on?” She asked pulling me out of my own head.

“That I am…” I smiled

We were heading to another bar for a couple of drinks before heading to the club to meet her friends from college, hopefully with more people around it will take my mind off things.

“Come on then, let’s get going.” She smiled

I paid the bill for our meals, making sure to leave a tip before we headed out. The bar was only down the street, not too far to go. I was glad we weren’t acting awkward around each other that would make things worse than what they needed to me. She hooked her arm through mine as we headed out. I had been struggling to keep my eyes off her all night, she looked too damn good which wasn’t helping matter ONE BIT!

“Please do not let me drink as much as I did that night the last time we went out OK?” I laughed

“I will try, not making any promises though.” She giggled smiling up at me.

“Thanks.” I said sarcastically, laughing after.

“You are very welcome…” She said smiling widely at me.

I shook my head, chuckling and kissed the top of her head. When we arrived at the bar, she unhooked her arm with mine, grabbing my hand in hers and leading us inside.

“Stay close, it is one of the busiest bars in town.” She said

I nodded, holding her hand tightly as she led us in through the crowds, the place was mobbed, could barely move but everyone seemed to be having a good time. She kept a tight grip on my hand until we reached the bar, squeezing in to get served and then she let it go. I slipped in next to her, placing my hand on the small of her back as she tried grabbing the attention of the bar staff cause a lot of the people surrounding the bar weren’t even waiting to be served, just where they were standing.

“What can I get you beautiful.” The barman said as he came over, he was speaking English but you could tell with his accent he was French.

“Scotch on the rocks and a Gin and Tonic please?” she said slowly making sure he understood her because in general she talks quite fast, she said it is a Scottish thing.

He nodded, winking at her. I glared at him when he looked at me and he soon turned away heading to make the drinks for us. I think I may have got slightly jealous when I was watching him flirt with her, even though I have no right to be, luckily she never seen me glaring at him. I made sure to have the money ready for him coming back, paying the drinks and telling him to keep the change.

“Wanna find a seat or stand?” I said in her ear

“Seat, if there is any…need to save all my energy for dancing at the club tonight.” She said winking at me.

“Then a seat we shall find…” I laughed, slipping my arm around her waist.

I know watching her dancing later is gonna make things harder for me. We did eventually find a seat, probably the last one in the place. I let her slip in first and I slept in next to her.

“So what was with the dirty looks to the barman?” she asked smirking

“Um…you seen that?” I said getting embarrassed.

“I did…” She giggled “What did that barman do to you?” She added

Hmm…how do I explain this one? I can’t exactly tell her I was jealous can I?

“Um…I was maybe…um…a little jealous.” I said looking at the ground.

I was an honest guy, well I tried to me so I never wanted to sit her and come up with a lame assed excuse.

“You were? Why?” She asked softly

“Honestly? Because I can’t get that kiss out of my head.” I said biting my lip.

“Really? Why? You seemed to regret it straight after you done it.” She said

I can’t blame her thinking that because I did walk away very quickly. I sighed, reaching for her hand and looked at her.

“It isn’t that Nicola…I swear. I am just confused with everything. That kiss was amazing, actually it was more than amazing but I am scared I done it just cause I am lonely, hurting and looking for some sort of comfort…you deserve more than that.” I said

“Oh…Ok.” She sighed, pulling away and turned to her drink “So you never actually wanted to do?” She added in a whisper, I just heard her and no more.

“Nicola look at me…please?” I said softly.

She sighed turning back to look at me…

“Of course I wanted to do it, look at you, you are one of the most beautiful people I have ever met inside and out…I can feel the connection…the bond between us but I only got out of my marriage just over a week ago and it is too soon for this…for us. I would always be wondering if I am just using you as a rebound and that is the last thing I want.” I said

“It is OK…I understand.” She smiled “I am happy for us just to be friends.” She added

“So we are OK?” I asked

“Of course we are, thank you for being honest with me.” she said kissing my cheek.

“Always Nicola…promise.” I said giving her a quick hug.

I was hoping we were OK and she was not only saying that to make us both feel better. It was obvious there was something between us, a very strong connection. I just never wanted to do anything to ruin the close bond we have developed the last week of me being here.

“Good, now come on let’s get to drinking.” She laughed “Maybe tonight I will get drunk and you will need to be the one to look after my drunken ass.” She added

“You wanna get drunk beautiful…you get drunk and I will make sure to take good care of you.” I laughed

“Sounds like a good plan…” she said taking a large drink from her glass.

It was the least I can do after the way she looked after me that night I got completely wasted. I was happy we were still bantering back and forth like we have been since we met. Maybe that one kiss won’t ruin everything after all.