Future Ex Fiancée

THE BREAKDOWN

Asmi~

Crying in the night became a routine. I have completely ignored virat's messages for the last few days and decided to talk to my parents about this. It made complete sense to me talking to them or at least giving them a hint that I wouldn't be continuing with this marriage. My heart broke when mummy's thought came to my mind. She was happy when Virat slid that ring onto my finger. I didn't even miss the small tear sliding from the corner of her eyes. She will be devastated when I tell the truth.

"Hey you good?" Suddenly my thoughts were disturbed by the new guy at work, Eugene. I had no idea why this guy selected India to work in. I mean he is a New Yorker for God's sake. I politely smiled at him when I saw his brows rise.

"Yeah I'm good." He nodded meekly, not sure about my actions and sat beside me to discuss some work.

When I was finally done with my work, I quickly slid inside my car with determination.

That night I spoke to Mummy. Well, actually I tried to indirectly tell her that I wasn't happy with this arranged marriage thing. But the reply I got was very unexpected.

"What are you saying, Asmita? You cannot think that way. What is it now, huh? Virat is the best you can get." She snapped, breathing harshly. She sat down on my bed and shook her head, "you are almost twenty-seven, you cannot reject another guy now. Do you understand me?" My lips quivered as I tried to ignore my best not to mind that crawling on my skin. "I cannot take another humiliation from my relatives over your marriage. Kohli's asked us to keep this private as it is and I'm trying to avoid all the guests calling asking me about you. I just can't be okay, so get your head straight and try not to mess with the rishta this time." She stormed off, banging the door close behind her.

I slumped on the floor and broke into soundless cries once again. Somewhere in the midnight, an annoying ring tone on my phone woke me up. It was Virat again. I rejected his call and closed my eyes shut.

Mummy was right, I had wasted too much time to avoid the marriage bullet. But Virat was hell bent on breaking this engagement.

He loves Veronica . He always had. I wasn't stupid enough to see that he was always hung up on her even though she broke his heart and ran away.

∆∆∆

Another pathetic day at the office and constant concentration on the computer screen started to make me feel nauseated. So I shut the monitor off for a while and looked outside the window. I was always glad that I got a nice place to work in, even though it was a cubical, but it had that private vibe. An introvert like me would know this. I sighed when I saw it was raining heavily, water had pooled on the road and it looked like the rain wasn't going to stop just yet. Sighing, I scribbled a few things I had to do over the week on a sticky note and pasted them on the board across me. Everyone was already leaving for home, but I decided to stay back till the rain subsides.

But then I realized I didn't drive my car to work, it was my moped. My car was in service. "f**k!" I cursed as I saw mummy was calling me. My lips pursed and I picked it.

"Asmita, it is raining heavily when are you leaving home? Have you seen it outside? I told you to take papa's car, but no, you had to take that moped." She went on and on, making me feel even smaller. Since our little fight she has always been on edge.

"I'm sorry mummy. I'll take a cab." I told her in a small voice.

"Do you think you can get a cab in this situation? Asmita uses some brain." She had always called me pillu, like her baby. I hated it when she called my name.

"I'll see what I can do mummy, I'll call you soon." I disconnected the call and threw my head back, regulating my breathing.

After like an hour, I came out of the office just to see it was still raining. I sighed and saw that a few of my office mates were waiting for their office cabs, which were postponed. My phone buzzed again and I picked it up without looking.

"Mum―"

"Stay put. I'm coming to get you." My eyes widened as I recognized the voice. Before I could speak, the call got disconnected.

"Holyfuck!" My small voice cursed as I tucked the phone inside my denim pocket.

By the time I waited anxiously, my office mates had already left.

I had no idea what I was doing with my life. Suddenly it held no meaning. I felt like a looser. The guy I crushed over was already over the heels with the girl he loved and I was left with a meaningless engagement ring which I had to give up for good. Soon.

For an independent girl like me, marriage wasn't everything, but when you turn twenty-seven, it suddenly becomes everything.

I wanted to scream and let out this frustration building up inside of me.

But only tears threatened to come out.

I was losing it, losing it badly.

From the other side of the road, I heard honking. I blinked and when the glass of the window slid down, I saw virat gesturing me to come over. But he was on the other side of the road, it was raining heavily and I didn't have an umbrella. Also, I was afraid of crossing roads alone. I always needed someone to hold on to. My legs started to shiver when I saw both ways. I took a step forward, but something inside me snapped and I took a step back in defeat. How pathetic can I get?

I can't do this. This isn't my day.

I was on a verge of an emotional breakdown.

Why virat had to do this?

Why he had to leave me alone like this?

Why can't he think of me this one time?

My unannounced tears mixed with the raindrops as I started to get drenched in it. I brought my cold hands together and attempted once again. But then I flinched when something warm touched me.

It was Virat beside me holding my forearm. He dropped an unfolded jacket over me and held my hand. The warmth of this palm rushed my entire body like a shock as I kept looking at him while he walked crossing the road holding me against him. He himself was getting wet in this rain but didn't seem to bother at all. Rounding around the car, he opened the door for me and made me sit inside. I was so dazed as I saw him run to the other side and get inside. His familiar smell filled the car as he closed the door clutching down the seat belt. Then I saw a towel on my lap. I looked over at Virat, who was busy keeping his bag on the backseat.

He looked at me and his brows furrowed, "what? You know I always keep a bag of spare clothes in the car." he shrugged as he wiped his face and his head. I didn't speak a word until then. I was still in my own thoughts like a mad woman. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, leaning back on the seat feeling the warmth coming out of the heater virat had turned on. There was still an ache inside my chest begging to disappear, my lips quivered as I found Virat calling my name.

When I looked at him, he took off the drenched jacket off my back and threw it in the back of the car. "You will catch cold, come on dry yourself Asmi." He nudged me and wiped dripping water off my forehead. I blinked and my lips quivered, he paused for a second, he leaned closer to me.

"Hey, what happened?" His fingertip touched my cheek and that did it, I burst out crying. I felt him wrap the towel around me, his hands started to rub my arms to keep me warm. "Asmi, what is it, something hurting?" He really tried to comfort me but couldn't stop it. "please don't cry yaar, what happened to you?" I found him pull me closer in his embrace and my crying face pressed against his chest.

I finally got out of his hold, hiccupping. "Virat, please don't do this to me." His eyebrows crunched, he looked confused. "Don't call off the wedding, I'll do anything." I was hysterical, sobbing like that. "I can't ― not now."

He didn't say a word, but when he said it, my heart broke a little more.

Beyond repair.

Virat~

I had no idea why Asmi went to her office driving her scotty. I mean who does that on a cloudy day?

Picking up my car keys, I went out to pick her up. The moment Shaila mom told me about this, and the worst part was Asmi did not inform me, her mom did. This showed a c***k between our friendships. It wasn't good.

My heart beat faster when I found her standing helplessly clutching her bag as if her life depended on it. Asmi has a phobia of crossing roads alone. It was weird, but it was understandable. She looked on the verge of crying when I saw her taking a step back when I gestured her to come there. But the second her phobia dinged my mind, I found myself getting out of the car just to bring her back. She was shivering badly by the time I got her inside my car. I blasted on the heater and rubbed my palms together. And there she was sitting there, almost numb. Slight panic stirred inside of me when I confronted her.

I second I attempted to wipe the water droplets off her chin, she started crying. It was completely out of nowhere for me as I looked at her dumbfounded.

I kept asking her while wrapping her upper body in a towel to keep her warm and cosy. But she didn't stop, she cried more. So, I hugged her and rubbed her back. Her scent of flowers sweetened my senses. I inhaled deeply while my face dug into her hair and her face into my chest. Those erratic heartbeats of hers pressed against my slowly raging ones. I gave her some time and asked again. She got away from my arms and for the first time a sense of emptiness eloped me. It was merely for a few seconds, but it was very uncomfortable.

"Virat, please don't do this to me. Don't call off the wedding. I do anything. I can't take it any longer ― not now." She hiccupped half of the time she spoke. Her state broke my heart. I could not do anything to make her feel better.

She showed her vulnerability to me. The girl who never showed her weak side was crying uncontrollably. No matter how broken she was, I was in no position to change the situation for her. She had to understand that we cannot be together.

We aren't meant to be.

Just to prove my point, I cupped her face and leaned in, making her look at me. When her glassy, half closed teary eyes met mine, I got lost in them for a while. f**k! She is so beautiful. When those eyelashes fluttered, the action added more beauty to her. But then she looked down again, in defeat, sadness. It didn't suit Asmi.

I tucked under her chin and again locked my gaze it on hers. "I can't, Asmi. I love her. I love Veronica." And there was those gorgeous eyes. They lost their shine. She just kept staring and she stopped struggling. She looked weak. Those full lips quivered and cheeks puffed as she seemed like crying again.

Oh god, she needs to stop.

I said again that I love Veronica and you need to spend your life with the person you love, not with the one you don't. But every time I said those words, I didn't seem to be too confident about it.

I let her lean back on her side of the chair and the sounds of our breaths filled the car along with the wipers moving furiously, keeping aside the water from the windshield. I handed her an uncapped bottle of water and made her drink some.

"Asmi?" Her face lifted to look at me and she nodded as if telling me she understood. And then another bad thing happened. She avoided eye contact.

The whole ride she was silent. I hoped she wouldn't continue the same thing again, just like the last few days.

Once we stopped at her place, I saw her dig into her bag and she wore her engagement ring. I felt a pang in my chest when I understood the reason behind it. This arrangement was private. She wasn't allowed to speak of it outside the family. But right now, she has to talk to me and needs her to understand. Currently, we both need time.

The tour of the West Indies was coming in a few weeks, so I was in full mode of cricket practice and strategizing plans. My communication with Asmi was almost zero and here Veronica was constantly in touch with me. It annoyed me at one point.

Girlfriends can be clingy sometimes.

One Sunday afternoon, I came back home a little early just to see Asmi sitting at the dining table with ma. A instant smile crept on my lips when I saw her nodding to everything ma was saying.

God, how adorable can she get?

One thing I realized about her was that she always wore Indian traditional dresses whenever she visited ma. And she never talked back to the elders, even if she had to argue about certain things. She loved to sacrifice and this thing I never encouraged. You need to get what you deserve. Now, it is very ironic that she needs to make a sacrifice because of me. I'm such a bad friend. I blinked when I saw her tensing up and she shook her head at something ma said. My curiosity pumped as I advanced towards them.

Ma's eyes met mine and she smiled brightly at me. Reciprocating the action, I sat beside Asmi, and watched her squirm at her place. I held her hand underneath the table to calm her down. Ma got up and turned to get me a glass of juice.

"Hey, it's okay." I would be angry and pissed knowing the worst silent treatment she gave me. But here I was comforting this poor thing.

"Thanks ma." I took a large gulp of my juice and Asmi shook her hand to get out of my hold. I let her.

"Virat, you will be going to west indies for one and a half month." I nodded at it. "So I was to Asmi to join you there." I spit out the juice I was chugging down my throat.

Holyshit!

Asmi tried to persuade her that she was very busy with work but, ma wasn't buying it. She was hell bent on sending her on this trip.

I knew what I just had to do.

Asmi~

Hiding the embarrassment was really hard. So avoiding virat was the only option left. I've been way too successful in making a fool of myself.

And still I was there, at his place talking to his mother just like a proper fiancée does. My heart bloomed for a moment when her eyes fell upon me with adoration.

That's what every girl wants, right; a loving husband and amazing mother-in-law?

I had it, just a very awfully short time. And just then, when things were going smoothly, another piece of new information fell upon me.

It turned out Virat's mother knew about his love relationship with Veronica. Although she was only aware of the ex-part. She was completely oblivious that her son was still in love with his ex-flame. And sadly, they are together now.

Apparently, she also knew Virat was quite heartbroken after the break up and that he didn't speak to anyone. As the breakup wound was still unhealed, she wanted me to be with him on this tour.

Look after him.

Those were her three words which really hit me. I felt guilty for not listening to her. She looked really sad when I tried to get out of the situation.

"You can do that work from home, thing na beta." This woman had loads of information, I was convinced by now. Yes, I could do that but I didn't want to be with Virat at the moment, I needed time alone to discover myself. To figure out some stuff.

"Don't worry, ma, she will be there with me." And just like that, I was in a deeper s**t.

Fuck my life.