Future Ex Fiancée

CHAPTER 2 - A WEAK MOMENT

Virat~

Sweating has always been a part of my profession. It never concerned me. I get paid for it for God's sake. Although when it came to my engagement night, it bothered me. God, it bothered me a lot.

Damn! I never thought I could get ready for a thing called marriage in the first place. And that also to a girl with whom I fought a lot of time.

But who am I kidding, she is so lovely. The girl who my mom chose. I wasn't ready at first. In fact, both of us were not ready, but for our parents, we got ready. Their emotional blackmailing was so strong that we had to give in. Well, I had to give and convince her the same. That incident was a story itself.

We kept the engagement ceremony and the whole wedding thing a complete private affair. After my previous, not to mention, quite ugly break up with my ex, I don't want asmi to get all the media exposure.

Oh yeah! Her name is Asmita, I call her Asmi. I like calling her that. She is very pretty, funny, confident, sweet and I think secretly she actually likes me.

Yeah she is bound to like me blah blah, but we are basically friends. Our friendship bloomed when we stumbled on at our common buddy's wedding a few months back. It was out of nowhere. We fought when we first met, but then once the misunderstanding cleared before we knew it, we became friends. And since then we are quite inseparables.

This topic of getting wedded to each other was a bomb thrown upon us. We both knew we didn't have romantic feelings for each other, although we care about each other. But the question is, do I have feelings for her? I don't know yet, only my heart will find it out as time goes by.

The sweating still didn't stop and I felt uneasiness inside my stomach. In a long while I was nervous I f**k. Last time I was this nervous when I was about to bat against Sri Lanka in my first ever ODI match. I straightened my shirt once again and threw up the jacket. I have paced around my room a hundred times now, my hands all sweaty, I have checked myself in the mirror like a million times now. Man! I do sound like a girl right now. I wonder how Asmi is feeling right now?

I was applying styling gel on my hair and running my fingers through them to get the perfect look I wanted, but then distracting me, my iPhone started to buzz. I sighed and made a move to pick up the call, sensing Asmi must be calling me. That poor thing has been trying to reach me for the last few days, but I was so packed up with my schedule to keep some time for myself.

Once I held the device in my hand, I blinked a few times to find out who was calling me.

Veronica.

And then I sensed this was bad. This was very bad. I let it ring until it stopped, but then again it buzzed showing the same caller ID.

I groaned helplessly and pick up her call, "Hello!".

"Virat, hey um it's me veronica."

My heart skipped a beat listening to her voice. The same carefree, confident voice I fell for.

"Hey." I breathed, not knowing what to say. But then after a few seconds, I heard sniffing from her side.

"Veronica, are you crying?" I hated those sniffles and I hated the afterpains it gave my heart. She was the girl I deeply loved.

"I am so s-sorry virat." Her voice stuttered and it was a pang in my chest. She was the most confident woman I knew. Listening to her crumbled state upset me. The earth underneath me shook when she spoke her next words, "I love you virat, I never stopped. Please come back to me. I want to be with you."

I could hear my thudding heartbeats ringing in my ears. Even though I managed to say, "Why all of a sudden-"

"I realise my mistake virat. I am so sorry. I was all miserable the day I left you. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I am not able to do anything right virat. I need you so much babe." That nickname she gave me brought a warmness inside of me. If she had spoken those words a few months back, then I would have been the happiest man on earth.

Silence eloped between us and here I had no idea what to say. I just couldn't speak anything, I was so stunned after her confession.

After a while, it was like the old 'Veronica Crazy Virat' was waking up, I was feeling really bad listening to her. She was crying. I wanted to make her stop crying. I never liked her tears and that sad voice.

"Why are you saying all these things now-" She was confessing her love to me again, on my engagement day.

"I know I am late, maybe too late, Virat but please give me a chance is this relationship a chance babe."

Late! Was she late?

One chance. That was all she asked.

My head started to hurt, "God, I don't know-"

"Please virat, please don't throw away our relationship, we made it through three. Don't break it now." Yes, we have been together for the last three years. It was my first long-term relationship. In this relationship I got more mature and I saw a different perspective on life. And it was Veronica.

While talking to her I almost forgot about Asmi, it was like Veronica was hypnotising me to believe her and I was falling for it. Falling deep.

"I love you so much virat. I do, I really do,. I was just ready for a proposal from you that day. You took me by surprise. I already had a lot going on my mind. That's why I flipped out and ran away. I am truly sorry for what I have done, I wanna make it up to you." Her sad voice fell upon my ears, making me sigh deeply. I was going tell her to give me some time but then someone knocked on my door.

"I'll call later, I'll think about it, okay?" I hurriedly murmured.

"Alright babe bye, remember I love you!" It was a while since I heard that from her. Last time was just before she broke my f*****g heart.

But do I wanna say it back? God I don't know, I just don't.

My mind was completely messed up, I was messed up.

I didn't say anything and hung up the call.

Grabbing the handle, I opened the door and there was Ma standing at the door with a bright smile on her face, "How much time are you gonna take to get ready virat? Come on my nūah (daughter in law) is about to arrive." She kept talking but I was still in a daze to comprehend her words. Veronica loves me. She wants me back. She still loves me.

"Virat beta, are you listening to me?"

Suddenly, I was brought back to reality.

"Ha ma, you go ahead, I'll be down in a few minutes."

"Okay beta!" She kissed my forehead, "you are about to give me the biggest of my life by marrying Asmi."

Then and there, I felt a tug in my heart.

"It's an engagement mom." I blurted out of nowhere.

Instantly, her eyes scrunched, as if my words baffled her a little. "It's the first step to marriage, be nice okay?" I nodded at her clarification and soon she left my room. I hurriedly closed the door and lied on the bed. Suddenly, everything was happening too fast for me, like I had no time to think. Then I heard the door bell ring, s**t they were already here.

I quickly went down to talk to Asmi, but she wasn't with her mother.

In the meantime, I had to touch his mom's feet to get the blessings.

"Oh virat beta, looking so handsome." She smiled and caressed my hair. It felt nice.

I just smiled and murmured thanks to aunty, her mom is so sweet and friendly.

"Call me mom." She insisted and I agreed instantly.

I looked behind mom in hope of seeing Asmi coming out of their car, but she wasn't there. Damn it where are you Asmita?

"She will be here in a few minutes." Mom spoke, looking at my anxious face.

"Um, okay." I murmured by rubbing my neck in embarrassment.

I was laughing along with Shaila mom when she was telling asmi's antics back home while getting ready. When I looked up I saw someone waiting at the closed main door. Well, it wasn't really someone, it was a pyramid of boxes and they were moving. I found it too weird and I looked properly and then the boxes were lowered down and I found Asmi's innocent face pleading for some help.

Truth to be told, for the first time I found her pouty face damn freaking cute. I blinked, shook my head once o brush off that thought and quickly moved and opened the door. Holding those boxes, I watched her shake her now free hands dramatically. I chuckled and we both murmured a small hi.

But this wasn't the time to share pleasantries. I had to inform her about the situation. I cannot marry Asmi now. So I called her out grabbing her attention again when she was about to move away. "Can you just wait a little longer with me?" f**k I was sweating again when she just stared at me as if observing me. "Well, um actually I've been meaning to talk to you. Asmi I can't -" I was about to complete my sentence and my intention, but then we got interrupted again and again. I was losing chances and my time was running out.

God damn, it felt like I was about to ruin three lives when I stood with either her in front of all our family members. It was time to exchange rings. When ma went inside to get something, I again pleaded to Asmi that I needed to talk to her. Suddenly she seemed worried, her perfectly shaped browser crunched as her fingertips reached for my forehead and she lowly whispered my name. My stomach flipped at her touch and I flinched back.

Sukhada Asmi's best friend commented on something naughty and passed us. Holyfuck! My head started spinning when I saw people entering the room. "Give me a minute ma, I'll be back." I moved away and ran inside the washroom and washed my face and took many deep breaths.

Everyone was waiting for me, for the celebration. To share happiness and happiness was Asmi and me. And here I was thinking of taking away that happiness from my family. From my ma.

I love you baby. Please give us a chance. We were so happy before. It was one of Veronica's texts of many more she sent me this evening, reminding me of our time, our smiles, our love.

A loud grunt burst from the back of my throat as I made up my mind. Choosing a life partner should be my decision and I need to take one. The right one.

I had to do this. I had to go through this engagement to reach my goal. I have to give mine and Ver's relationship a chance. A plan was set up in my mind and I only needed Asmi's support.

Sighing, I went back to the grand room just to see everyone inside the kitchen and Pooja room. But Asmi looked completely spaced out, gazing at the ceiling continuously. For the first time, I saw Asmi completely quiet. I sighed and sat beside her. I was exhausted. I needed energy before I spoke to her. Involuntarily, I closed my eyes, resting my head back.

"This is getting so real." I heard Asmi murmur, and yes it was true. It was getting real and it was difficult for me as well.

So I agreed, "yeah, it's nerve racking." I spoke, drifting away in a short slumber, resting my head on Asmi's shoulder. I felt better.

I woke up in a snap when I felt someone sitting on my lap. I opened my eyes and it was Arav waking me up while tapping my cheek. It was time for the ring ceremony. Arav got up and I was still half asleep so I tried to move, but somehow my hand resting on the backrest on the couch slipped and my face landed on Asmi, my arm wrapping around her shoulder. I heard small laughs around me. embarrassingly I apologized to Asmi in a small voice that only she could hear. And she did.

Soon, Asmi and I were standing beside each other for the ring ceremony. I saw Asmi donning a smile with a pink stain on her cheeks.

If I don't do this, it's gonna be so unfair to Veronica. We were together for a long time, we were almost inseparable and all she is asking is for, on chance, shall I give it to her?

I think so!

It will be so hard to break Asmi's heart. But I cannot create a scene here and embarrass Asmi in front of everyone. She will be heartbroken.

The ring ceremony started. First, Asmi took the ring from her mom and slipped it onto my finger, then smiled at me. Mummy gave me the ring and I held Asmi's trembling hand, then squeezed them gently. Just to assure her to make her feel better, I don't know why, but I just couldn't see her tense up, her hand was surprisingly warm. Only her fingertips were cold, then I slipped the ring onto her finger, she looked at me with those extra twinkly eyes and took my breath away.

I am now engaged to her.

∆∆∆

It was time for dinner after the ring ceremony. At the dinner table everyone gathered. Me and Asmi were sitting beside each other.

Dinner was surprisingly long. My patience was decreasing as every second was passing by.

Asmi was a reserved person but very smart. It was going to be difficult if I went soft on Asmi and tried to make her understand she might give in and make the sacrifice. But no. She has to hate me, she could move on with someone who will be right for her. I wasn't the one.

Finally, when dinner ended, everyone was engrossed in chatting like asmi and sukhada. I went towards Asmi and asked her to come to the park with me. She agreed but Sukhada smirked at me and I tried to smile, literally tried to smile. Asmi came with me to the garden but unknowingly, I held her hand and took her there.

"Virat, slow down my heels-" she spoke, her voice laced with pain. I instantly stopped. It was a reflex.

"I've been meaning to talk to you." I quipped in a small voice. But I had to be harsh, I reminded myself.

"Say na. " She answered with concern, but nudged me to speak further anyway. I just wanted to hug her and take away her worries. For the first time, I observed how beautiful she looked I that dress and that black dot of kohl she applied between her eyebrows.

I liked it, I liked it a lot.

Reluctantly, I held her hand and it was so soft. Those small details I never realized before. I blinked to brush those thoughts.

My heart changed for a fraction of a second, but I controlled myself.

I have to do it!

"Asmi, we can't... I'm... I mean." ugh just spit it out virat! Taking a deep breath, I finally blurt, "I can't marry you." And there it was, disbelief plastered on her face with confusion washed over. Her mouth hung open and closed then. I felt like a jerk.

A small whisper seemed to slip off his lips, "why?"

I wondered what I should tell her. But then I played a jerk. She has to forget me, hate me, loathe me.

So I smirked. "Hmm, let me think. Yes! I don't like you, Asmita. I am just doing this because ma asked me to. I love someone else. Veronica. Not you." I kept my voice loud so she would get my point. Here Asmi kept looking at me with those vulnerable glassy black orbs. She took a step back or shall I say stumbled in shock. My hands urged me to keep her from falling. She seemed broken inside, but outside she was trying to be strong. She has always been that way, hiding her vulnerabilities.

I heard her sniffle. Oh Asmi! "Then why did you agree to this marriage?" She was right though, I was the one who convinced her to marry me, for the happiness of our parents.

I faked being annoyed and grunted loudly. "Can't you listen, because ma wanted to. I don't know under which spell you got her." Hurt was evident on her face, tears started to flow from her eyes as she blinked those away. She angrily wiped them.

"Are you blaming all this on me again? Also, you decided not to marry me right after the engagement, I mean -" I raised my palm to make her stop talking. The reality was, I cannot answer her question.

Taking a deep breath, I said, "Listen to me, within a month I'll convince ma that we cannot marry each other because of our incompatibility, then I'll go my way and you go yours." Asmi tried to interrupt me again but I didn't tell her speak. "I have kept this party as private as possible, no one apart from our family knows that we are engaged, I'll make sure it stays that way." Privacy was mainly because I didn't want Asmi to face the media. I had already seen the kind of hatred Veronica faced when we started dating. I didn't want Asmi to suffer the same. But now this reason will do.

My heart broke at her shivering state. Tears gathered under her chin. I was so inconsiderate, I wanted to wipe her cheeks and hug her tight. The way she was deep in her thoughts, I knew she was battling inside to hurt me back. And here my palms were on the verge of bleeding as my nails dug deep.

I was hurting myself unknowingly, maybe because I was hurting her right now.

Then she did it, the thing I was aiming for her to do. "I hate you, virat!" She muttered and ran out of the garden taking care of her tears.

I also did what I had to do. I spoke the same words I didn't mean to.

"I hate you too."

∆∆∆

My a*s was about to freeze but I still kept on sitting on that bench. f**k! I did it.

I broke her heart. The way Asmi used to look at me for the last few days, I had a feeling she was accepting our new relationship. Scrolling through my messages, I stumbled across a few of her text which clearly showed she wanted to see me. But I was too busy to visit her.

Breaking my thoughts, I got a call from Veronica and a small smile crept onto my lips.

What have I done for this girl?

I thought bitterly and picked up the call only to listen to hear how much she loved me. But her I love you didn't reach my heart than asmi's I hate you did.

Soon, when the call ended, I heard ma calling my name. I went inside her room just to see Asmi sitting on her bed looking very exhausted. Ma asked me to drop Asmi at her home as all of her family members had already left. Asmi tried to reject the offer politely saying she would get herself back home safely, but to her surprise, I agreed to drop by and pick up my car keys.

Asmi's faint flower scent filled the car as soon as we buckled ourselves. The whole ride she didn't try to strike up the conversation. It was very awkward for me as well to speak to her. But as soon as I hit the breaks at her place she uttered "Veronica broke your heart before virat. Do you still want to be with her?" Her voice wasn't harsh, it was softer. I looked over and curtly nodded.

"I love her." I simply told her, pressing the unlock button on the door, indicating she could leave now.

Asmi looked down and nodded. Then she looked at me and smiled. It was a broken smile. My heart was crushed then and there.

"Good. You just used me for your own good." Breath died in my throat as I tried to gulp the lumb formed, causing me to choke. Before I could retort, she was already out of my car walking towards her house.

What was I going to say anyway? She was right. I had used her.

I went back home driving impossibly faster and only stopped at my house, hitting the brakes. I was so angry with myself that I started to sweat. I felt like burning. Banging the wheel, I screamed inside the car. I tried to calm myself down but it wasn't happening. I poured some water on my face from the water bottle and took a few deep breaths.

Today didn't only mark my engagement day, but I also lost a close friend. I broke her heart, but why is mine hurting too? I pressed the left side of my chest and rubbed it there to ease the pain.

I did wrong, so wrong. Suddenly, realization washed over me and I wanted to drive back and make her understand calmly. I knew it was too late to control the damage.

But I will talk to you Asmi. I cannot lose you. I am so sorry.