LEFT AT THE ALTER

Chapter 2

The following day came by too fast, I wished the night could go forever and never just end. But I was up again, I checked my notifications hoping that maybe, just maybe Mike could have had a change of mind and called me telling me how he had wronged me and would want a second chance or maybe everything was a dream and I would wake up next to Mike and he would hold me telling me how he would calm me from this nightmare but all of this was real, it was real and there was nothing I could do about it.

I looked around my bed to check if I still had my snacks around but it looked like there was nothing left and as I looked around I got even angrier at nothing as tears rolled down my face again. I curled up in my bed as I turned on my TV and put on my break up playing and continued with my tears, tissue papers all around my bed as I used and threw them on the floor.

Maria and Mary had called me multiple times too but I was not interested in even listening or hearing anybody because i knew they would just keep telling me how it is going to be alright and that I should probably get up and get out of the house like it was that easy.

I blee my nose with one of the tissue papers as my nose started to drop with water and my tears still wouldn't stop.

I heard a knock on the door and I knew it was either mother or Grandma, I didn't want to say no to them again but then I still didn't want to go out to do anything.

"Hey dear Rose, Breakfast is ready, we want you to come out to eat" Mother said slowly and calmly as if trying to appease me and make me feel better.

"Yes dear, come out and have breakfast with us you have been crying all night. You can't stay indoors forever" Grandma added but I didn't say anything.

After a few minutes I opened my door and stepped out, mother and Grandma looked at me glad that I had finally decide to step out. One could easily know how excited they were as they rushed towards me and ushered me to the dinning to eat.

Mother helped me with the chair and Grandma immediately brought my food.

"We made your favourite" she said as she dropped the food on the table in front of me. It was actually my favourite and even though I didn't have the appetite for the food, but I couldn't not eat it.

I picked up my spoon as we all ate in silence around the table. I knew they probably didn't know what to say or how to say what they wanted to say. Or maybe they didn't know how I was going to react to whatever they wanted to say or ask me.

"So, when are you going back to work, Maria and Martha won't stop calling me" Mother said, as she swallowed the food that was in her mouth and she and Grandma watched me closely waiting for anything that was going to come out of my mouth.

"Mike just left me yesterday, I don't think I want to do anything" I said as I dropped my spoon and the tears started to drop from my face again.

"Hey, hey, stop crying now" Grandma said, as she held me close to her stoping me from crying. It seemed like any mention of his name or anything that happened that day made me cry. It was like trigger that I couldn't help.

"I don't want to go anywhere, I just want to stay indoors" I said as I wiped away the tears that had flown down my face uncontrollably. The love I knew wasn't like this, the one I watched or the ones I read. They were sweet, lovely, romantic and there was always an happy ending but that wasn't my case, it was different here, there was no happy ending so what was the point of everything, of life so I rather just stayed inside and not do anything.

"But Rose, life goes on and you have to move on with it. You can't just let this hold you back and be stagnant because all of this happened. It happened and now you're not going to let this stop you from living because you're destined for more and you still have alot to do" Grandma said trying to console me but it didn't have as much impact as she had probably thought but it did a bit but it still didn't mean I was going to go out that day. I wasn't ready for the questions, for the stares, for the pity talks. I wasn't. But what I didn't know was that I was never going to be ready for that time.

"I have heard" I said

"Time heals pain dear and I am sure with time things are going to get better, you are probably going to get a new, fine handsome man that is going to sweep you off your feet again and then you are going to see all these pass away" Mother said

"Mother!! Not man issue again, I don't want any man anywhere near me. Not after this" I said. I couldn't even think of having someone else come and lie and betray me after all you do for them. You give them everything, make them your number one and your only priority but they f**k up and do nothing but make you feel bad.

"Rose!! It is not always going to be that bad you know, you just need to open your heart and let new love in. It will help you heal" mother said and this time she actually sounded a little more serious than she had been the first time.

"Mother, not this time please" I said and then Grandma and mother got up ready to leave for the Gardening store. It was a store where we sold flowers and any kind of plants you can think of. It was pretty big and everyone in town knew the place because it was practically the only place where you could get amazing flower pieces and amazing plants. It was owned by mother and Grandma, it was initially just managed by grandma, it was passed from her mother to her and so grandma hopes one day to leave it to mother and mother hopes she would one day leave it to me. I literarily grew up in the shop and it had always been close to my heart but I didn't want to work there so I had a customer service work which I was in with my two best friends. A job I also didn't like so much but stayed there regardless.

"Bye Roseline, we will see you when we get back" Grandma said as she pecked me on my forehead.

"Are you sure you don't at least want to come to the shop with us?" Mother asked looking at me worried. "You might get bored here all alone" she added.

"I will be fine, I promise" I assured

"And no more crying all day, just find something to do" mother added before leaving to go out.

I finished my food, cleaned the dishes and silenced my phone which was beeping with messages from Maria and Mary. I couldn't deal with the noise and I also wasn't ready to talk about anything. I just really wanted everyone to leave me alone.

I actually really wanted to stop myself from feeling sad all day and crying so I didn't want to go back to my room and sit listening to my sad playlist.

I looked around the house for a while then decided to go down to the basement. I got to the basement and it was mostly filled with things we didn't use anymore or things we wanted to give or throw out. I went through some of the boxes and then just in a corner I found some boxes with paint brushes and some art work and boards. It was dad's. He loved to draw, I grew up around paints, brushes and art in general.

Memories flushed through my head as I went through the stuffs.

"Daddy, daddy, can I see what you're painting" a five year old me had said excited and eager to see what he had made this time. Every single painting was fascinating, more intriguing, exciting and great. He was an amazing artist and sold quite a number of art pieces but he really wanted an art exhibition which he wanted to create and also invite other artist to exhibit their arts in it but that never happened.

"You will see once I am done" he had said with a smile.

"Only a few minutes" he added.

Daddy, I want to see it now" I had insisted as I walked further towards his canvas and he just smiled, that smile, his perfectly carved smile that lit up the room everytime it appeared on his lips. I had also gotten his smile, mother had said always and she was glad I did and everytime I smiled, she said it reminded her of him.

"Rosie, just a few more minutes. Stay put and don't come close" he had said. He called me Rosie always, that was his favourite name for me and I loved it.

"Are you two not going to come up and eat dinner" mother had said as she came down into the basement.

"Wow, that's beautiful" mother said as she moved closer to where dad had been sitting with his masterpiece. He made many masterpieces, he was a master of Art and it always amazed me how he made magic with just his paint brush and canvas.

"Daddy!" I had exclaimed again and then he turned the canvas to me to see what he had made. It was a picture of me. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen even till today. It was easy for father to wow anybody and for even a five year old girl, I knew father was exceptional.

"It's beautiful" I had said with a smile on my face. Father glanced at mother as they both watched the expression on my face as I admired the painting. It wasn't father's first painting but it was still one of my favourites till today.

"You're beautiful my darling" father said as he held me closer to him and carried me on his laps. I was a typical daddy's girl and I loves it. My friends knew and everyone who was close to me knew how much I loved him.

"The food is going to get cold you two, don't stay down here for too long" mother had said as she walked back up to serve our food.

"I want to learn how to draw like you dad" I had said enthusiastically. I actually really did want to. It amazed me everytime he drew something, anything, even if it was just the smallest thing, it was always a masterpiece.

"And you will, I will teach you" he had said and he did. He actually did teach me but after he had passed on I lost the vibe to paint, it reminded me too much of him, the brush, the canvas, the paints, it smelled of him and down there in the basement, anywhere I looked felt like he was around somewhere and I just couldn't do it. This was the first time I was coming up since he passed. I realized it didn't hurt as much anymore but it still did and i could still hear his voice saying "Rosie, pass me my brush" "Rosie, sit down and stop running around so you won't spill the paints" he would say. I missed him alot. I went through some of his paintings to bring out his painting of me that I had kept there. I took it with me to my room.