You're Killing Me, Mate.

6. Quin

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence." -Helen Keller

"What is this deal?"

It's been a week since Miguel and I broke up. Within that week I accumulated about 3 patients with the wild wolf disorder. The humans have completely morphed and turned in to a one being their wolves which is the true condition of the disorder. It's also been a week since I started working in the stupid pack house with my parents.

The members still hate us, and some were still not willing to go through the screening process or to be treated at all. Mom and Dad has been walking on eggshells around me since Miguel left. They weren't mad at him, Mom knew this would happen at some point while Dad is considering meeting with the Moon Goddess to change the mating. It's a funny solution but I doubt Dad even knows how to meet with her.

"Honey, are you sure you don't want to come with us to eat outside? Look it's a perfect weather to walk around, you know?" Mom pets my hair as she says this. I look up from my iPad and shake my head.

"I'm fine, you two should just go on a date. I'll just eat something from the pantry" I say putting down my iPad on my desk. It's lunch time in the office and I don't feel like going out.

Dad frowns "I'd like to have a family lunch"

"Well, I don't feel like eating out Dad. I just want to read over the files and see if I can fix the mating problems of the only three patients that we have" I stand and move past Mom's sprawled out long legs. She's been sitting on my table like a delinquent and bothering me that way.

"Okay" Mom says, despondent.

"I'm fine, seriously Mom" I kiss her forehead. "You guys should go. I'll finally have fun on my own"

Dad scoffs "You always have fun on your own. When are you going to let your parents have fun with you?"

I frown and look at him suspiciously "Don't you remember the time you made me go through a horror tunnel in that carnival?"

He purses his lips "It was fun"

"For you. I cried my eyes out while you laughed"

Mom gasps, she points an accusing finger at Dad "You're the reason why my baby doesn't want to have fun with us anymore"

Dad's eyes widen "I didn't know!"

"you know she doesn't like horror!" Mom stomps to Dad and hits him with her purse. "Honey, I'm going to teach your Dad a lesson. Are you going to be okay on your own?"

"Mom, this is a pretty small practice and the patience aren't that hostile." I smile while holding back my laughter when I see Dad pleading for me. "You can have a day off. I'm the boss, am I not?"

"This is so weird." Mom grins "working for my daughter, I knew you're brilliant, but I didn't think it would come to this"

"Well, the real reason and situation doesn't help." I hug her and Dad "Plus, I just really want to be alone right now"

Mom's expression changes in to a serious one. She holds my hand and kisses my forehead, to give another spell to limit what I'd do to my body. "The only reason I can leave you is because of this. I still trust you, but I don't trust the things inside you, my heart and blood."

Remind her we're not things Deima hisses sharply in my mind making me wince at the sudden interjection.

"I know. Just go, you two are giving me a headache" ignoring Deima, I playfully brush my shoulder against hers and she just smiles at my feeble strength. My Mom is definitely stronger and taller than me so any of my attempts of physical extortion doesn't work on her.

"Okay, we know when we're unwanted" Mom says pulling Dad with her.

"Do you really?" I mutter when I hear the main office door close. The two were finally gone while I plop down on the couch of my office.

Looking at the carpet. I wonder what Miguel is doing right at this moment. I also haven't seen Quin since she heard our whole argument. Apparently, she came to the house to say sorry for everything and she promised to keep the witches deal thing as a secret.

"I also hope that we can be friends. I know it's sick and stupid, but I really want to try with you. I was horrible to you in a lot of ways but I... I regret what I did, what wedid. You didn't deserve any of what happened"

I was so vulnerable and sad with Miguel leaving that I just said whatever she wanted to hear so she can leave. I hate my weak self at time, but I learned through studying psychology that sometimes it couldn't be helped. You are what you are and it's hard to change, it takes a few long steps to make any sort of progress.

The TV on the wall faced by my desk is on mute. Sometimes when I'm feeling really lonely and depressed I like the sound of the TV to make me feel less so. But this time, I just want to be updated on the supernatural news. Sometimes there are researches like the Wild wolf syndrome that comes up a few times.

Looking down on my work, I suddenly caught a glimpse of someone familiar in the TV. My eyes widen to see my best friend, Iona, doing a press talk in front of many reporters. The headline was BLACKFIELD CLAN OVERTURNING ANCIENT LAW. I furrow my brows and turn the volume up. Shouldn't she be in her honeymoon right now? I mean they were supposed to be in a tropical island right at this moment for a month. I noticed the tall lumbering Frier just behind Iona's mates who was on each side of her.

"...We're here to make a monumental change that symbolizes the equality of all beings. I do not want another prejudice jurisdiction that happened to me to happen to anyone of the same problem" I remember quickly at what happened, it was a long and winding story. I swear Iona's life should be a novel.

"We're here to abolish the law that separates the species and allowing us to be divided with each other. We have so much in common that it is highly illogical of us to be this way. rogues, hybrids"—Her eyes meet the camera as if she knew I was watching. I even notice Frier straightening his look as well, but I brush that off. A trick in the light probably—"and vampires are no different from us, the divisions are uncalled for."

There was a reporter that raises her hand to ask a question "How would you do this knowing you'd have to go through the Elders and their trials to abdicate the old ancient law?" the way the reporter said it makes it known to me she's not a fan of this either.

Suddenly, Iona is swept aside by someone beside her. She lands in Drake's arms who glares at the i***t who swept her aside. What even shocked me more is the person who did it. He crouches down by leaning half his weight on the podium. He was so tall that if he straightens he might not even fit in the screen.

Back bowed and in front of many peering eyes, he still held his cool gaze. He looked intimidating as his muscles bulged through his suit at the angle he's in. he glares coolly at ever camera, at every angle as if he expected as much.

"The elders have forgotten that the people get to decide the rules not them. Who are they without us? What are they to not change along the era they live in? Progress demands change and the understanding that all differences are made to be understood." His eyes captivate me, the storm in them made my heart hitch in such an odd blissful feeling that I wasn't used to.

The walk he talked that is so eloquent and commanded everyone's attention. I curse my broken heart for mending by the mating pull. Not to mistake my heart as being okay, it still longs and misses Miguel but the other two and the mate bond against me is a losing fight.

A part of me scoffed at what he's saying, a hypocrite. After all he did, rejecting me and hurting me time and time again, then he suddenly became the Martin Luther King Jr of species rights? How f*****g ironic

Could it be? Deima says, awed

What? I was so irritated that I forgot that I shouldn't be entertaining the voices inside my head.

You're even denser and slower than I thought you spaz Eros growls at me

I just sigh. I should really learn to not answer them. Forget I ask

He's doing this for usDeima answers me when Eros was too busy belittling my intelligence and my normalcy.

Hope is hard to extinguish but it is incredibly easy to fall for it. I feel it in my chest, burning my chest at the thought Frier is doing this for me but then my hands lands on my stomach. The words he carved in to me, how he himself carved one of the words and let it burn in to my being.

I scoff while I continue to just listen to the hypocrite. The burning in my chest still there but I ignore it with every fiber in my being.

"The Blackfield clan along with Iona's mates pack and clan are for it. Elder Damiano supports this decision not because he's mated to Iona but because he sees the future and the reality of our actions. Don't we have all have a heart? Beating blood in our veins and keeping us alive"—I don't know why but I feel this strike me deeply—"we also make mistakes. Mistakes can be learned from as to change the future. A future we should look forward too. Right?"

What? I took a step back, disgust rolled in me not because of him but because of myself. I can't help feeling as if he's asking me that question. Deima and Eros doesn't help either, so I decided to turn the TV off and just focus on the work in front of me

But I couldn't focus, there was a war inside my mind and body. The past and present and the hope mixing in my system. Eros and Deima as always doesn't help anything. Then the fear of Quin telling him my plan of getting rid of my wolf. I am so paranoid that I am tempted to tell my parents about Quin and they'd "take care of her" but I can't do that to Merkson. The person who saved my stupid life.

Knock. Knock.

The sound snaps me out of my thoughts. I look up to see the man I was just thinking about, by the open door. Merkson gives me a kind smile, a smile I've gotten used to throughout high school. He's always been the one who saves me or tries to. He also tried to befriend me, but I didn't want him to be caught up in that mess.

Frier and David were notorious in high school on terrorizing me and those who tried to help me. I didn't want him to get hurt either.

"I'm sorry but I heard that you're watching Alpha in the news" He doesn't step any closer other than standing by the doorway. He looks at me expectantly. Polite as ever

"Come in, and yeah." Was all I can say while trying to write on my legal pad but all there was were doodles rather than work. He sits in front of me with a soft smile.

"It's nice to be able to talk to you in the open like this. Back then... everything was a mess and was horrible"

Still is. I nod and grunted for him to know that I'm listening and it's okay to continue on

"Also, Quin told me what happened when she came to apologize"

I froze and stiffen. I pull my cool façade again before saying "Really? What did she say?"

"Oh, please I'm sorry she told me, don't slip on that mask again Mirage. I'm a friend and I just want to check if you're okay"

Did she tell? I feel my heart quicken out of nervousness, anger and the idea of being caught and having to change the plan.

He should know you plan on killing me Eros snaps at me Murdering your own wolf, you should just kill yourself.

"Mirage, really. I know it's hard but I'm just here to make sure that you're okay. I'm sorry to hear Miguel, your human, left"

"What?" I snap my gaze to meet his blue kind eyes.

He smiles at me "she told me that you two were fighting. About this...complicated relationship you have with Frier and he couldn't take it. I knew you loved him, you wouldn't have protected him so much or brought him here if you didn't."

He doesn't...know. She didn't tell. I feel the shock mingled to my face which he misinterprets.

"Please, Quin meant no harm. We're mates so we basically tell everything." He presses.

I can only nod.

"I'm really sorry, I hope you don't think less of her. She was just there to apologize, and she really did change, Mirage. I mean our mating wasn't easy either, her being mean and liking David but you know? It just happened, and everything just fit again one day and we're okay. I'm sorry too, I hope it doesn't make you think less of me or maybe you already have in that case I'm really really—"

"Stop" I cut him off, I relax a little knowing that he doesn't know. I lean back and sigh, I finally let a true smile creep on to my face. "It's okay, stop rambling."

He sighs in relief while he ruffles his blonde hair out of its clean and neat style. "Good, and thanks for stopping my rambling."

"You still ramble until you can't breathe, huh?" I playfully squint at him. "What kind of Beta are you? just rambling when you're nervous"

He laughs awkwardly "Funny, right? I wasn't really supposed to be the Beta and it does comes as a surprise to the members when it first came up"

"Yeah, what happened? I thought David would've been..." I trailed not knowing how to continue on the sentence

Merkson shrugs "I...I wasn't expecting it either. One day, David wasn't nominated by Frier but he chose me. I know, I shouldn't be saying this Mirage, but he did change a lot. It might not show but—"

"You're right" I cut him off again while staring deep in to his eyes.

"See, I know you—"

"You're right that you shouldn't be saying this Merkson" the façade slips back. Guarding my expressions, the anger, the disappointment of him choosing Frier's side. He was defending him even after all the things he saw me go through

"No! wait, um I'm making this worst." He truly looks worried and troubled now. It's as if he hasn't grown up from his old worrying and kind self.

I can't help but feel my anger dissipate as I sigh again. "It's okay. Stop worrying, so what else are you here for? Want a session with the shrink?"

He purses his lips in frustration. "I'm honest there are still time I don't know how to say things unlike Alpha Frier who is just so good with words!"

"Careful, you sound gay" I tease him

He blushes "No! I have a mate and he's your—" he drags out the last word, not sure if he should stop or continue.

He's still so stupid. I couldn't help but laugh at him "You're still so stupid, Merkson"

He cracks a smile and shrugs sharply. "You're still as beautiful as always, our real Luna"

I froze. "I'm not your real Luna. I will never be so don't call me that ever again"

He blushes again "I'm sorry. I... I am s**t at this"

I smile "That you are but I appreciate it. I appreciate you, you're a good man and you're one of the rarest personalities who sees the good in people no matter what. you're good Merkson"

He seems to like the things that I've said about him as he shyly looks down and smiles at my carpet. "It's funny, how when you meet people from the past and you just revert back to the old you, you know?"

I nod "I know."

His eyes suddenly turn glossy as I suspect it to be the mind link. It's about a minute before he comes back to where he is and looks at me with a serious look, much different from the Merkson I knew. "The Alpha is ordering me. I must go but he also said that you should go to his office in his side of the floor, Mirage"

"Why?" I feel my whole-body tense and the other two purring at the thought of seeing him again.

"He doesn't say but he says it is important and you're a vital part of it."

"I thought he was out in a press conference?"

"That was recorded and not live. He's been here for a few hours now"

I should've checked to see if it was live. I sigh, "I'll go to him when I'm ready"

He nods but then his eyes glazes over again and then he says "I'm sorry but he needs you now. Urgently"

What could this stupid emergency be? I groan while I nod and went out of my side of the top floor. The moment you arrive from the elevator, there are only two doors, one on the left that leads to his living quarters and the one on the right that leads to my office. There weren't this many walls on this floor before until he decided to put my practice here. Thankfully, the monster is considerate enough to give me walls to hide from him.

Knocking on his door, I see that it was open, so I just decided to walk in and follow his scent. I try not to examine his home because I don't plan on caring. I went straight to the office in this place and knocked on the door.

"Come in" he gruffly says.

I open the door and meet eye to eye with the huge handsome man with the storm in his eyes from the TV. "I heard you needed me"

He looks up to meet my eyes. He is seating on his leather chair while he's examining papers in front of him. "I need your help."

"On what?"

"My mother, she's having episodes again and I want you to come with me to their estate" he sets the papers aside neatly.

"Only the two of us?" I ask, nervous and wary of the prospect of being alone with him.

"Why? Are you thinking something else in that pretty mind of yours, Mirage? Do I make you nervous?" he gives me a cocky smirk.

The nervousness and wariness fades away with that smirk. "No, I'm just not sure I'd be able to survive another tattoo session with you. I remember the old ones very well"

He frowns, dropping the smirk quickly. "Hmm, do not worry. Amanda is coming with us"

"Amanda?" I already have a feeling as to who she is. Deima hisses inside me, and Eros is clawing at the walls of my mind and sanity.

"My girlfriend" he answers, his eyes bearing holes on to my body. "Would that be a problem?"

I sigh, pain filling my veins at hearing this. "No, I'm glad you have someone"

"You are?"

"I'm an adult enough Frier not to be jealous. I know I'm not as pretty or worthy to mistake myself of being good enough. You taught me well, so well in fact that I will be going with you and Amanda to your parent's estate. I am more interested with your mother's well-being. When are we leaving?"

I seem to shock him and anger him at the same time. He looks conflicted as to what to show on his face, but he says, "later at 4, I want you to clear your schedule"

I text Mom on moving the appointments a little for this emergency appointment. "Done. Is there anything else Alpha?"

His body jerks at Alpha. His eyes snapping to mine. I curse myself forgetting how much it affects alpha's when their mates call them their title. "Mirage"

"I'm sorry for the mistake Frier but what else can I call you? I should leave now, and I'll get ready"

"Yes, that is for the best"

As I turn to leave, I see the pictures mounted on the walls just in front of his office door. there was a blonde pretty girl in all of them. Must be Amanda

KILL HEREros and Deima says in unison.

You keep longing for someone who doesn't love nor care for you. who's the idiots now?

You know whose fault it is that he doesn't want us Eros growls

Another argument ensues, making me feel worst more than I already do.

I again chastise myself for answering them. I admit, I'm doing this to myself now.