You're Killing Me, Mate.

7. Hangman

"If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die." -Maya Angelou

Amanda is a striking werewolf with the kindest smile that could have been at par with my Mom's real one. All I felt with her is that she's truly and honestly a good girl, I also don't know whether she knows that I'm Frier's rejected mate, but I don't question it.

She's nothing but kind to me since the moment she met eyes with me. Obviously, everyone knows that I'm the hybrid that shouldn't live. I'm the social pariah that is notorious for being alive and they really hoped that I shouldn't be alive.

We hope you didn't live at all too Deima remarks

I ignore her like always but that doesn't mean it alleviates the heaviness my chest and soul feels. The both of them exist to slowly chip away my self worth and self respect, so that I would just choose to die the way they always wanted me to.

So, they'd be free to be paired with other souls in one body. They can exist without being with someone they hate and would actually have a normal chance of being with their mates. But honestly my situation right now is more painful than I want to admit

Most of the pain comes from the way he lets her touch him. It gives this heart wrenching ache in my chest like no other. It feels like my whole being is responding to every touch she makes and sears it in to my hear like a branding iron. I shouldn't even be subjected to this, I have just lost Miguel and my mate is flaunting with this werewolf girl who is kinder than I wanted her to be.

Couldn't she be a b***h? That would really be easy for me to hate her not that I even should hate her since I don't care about Frier and his girlfriends. He can do what he wants and I can do what I f*****g want.

"Frier is making a huge change for you, isn't he?" She says softly to me while we walk towards the elevator. We met a few minutes ago when Frier called me to his office, she was just standing there all elegant and beautiful beside him.

She is everything that I am not. My mind reeled back to the moment I just gripped at the door knob while I met her eyes. Her kind eyes that looks at me with such curiosity and... empathy. The true killer is me standing there and thinking, she'll make a great luna for this pack and Frier.

The two was ready to rip me in to shreds just for thinking it. Eros was even trying to take over control of my body and trying to make me shift but I was able to just bite on to my tongue and hold her back with the sheer will that I didn't think I'd have.

Right now, he said he'll follow us and told Amanda to take me to the cars that are waiting for us on the driveway. Still, Eros and Deima were chanting for a kill, wanting to hurt her, wanting to make me hurt her but I hold on to the coldness seeping in to me again, it's the only thing stopping me from doing what they said or from breaking down.

Sometimes the coldness of my depression is the only anchor that keeps me from doing something stupid like asking Frier to take me when I don't want him to. This is just my stupid instincts talking, this is just those two wanting to be with their mates.

"He is" I say, politely. My cool façade or mask slipping in unconsciously. Protecting me still from what I could be.

Amanda looks at me with such interest and asks so much questions about who I am. I knew that if it weren't for the fact she's with my mate then we would've been good friends. She's tall with legs that goes on for miles, a lean built body that bespoke some strength and a face that is both endearing and fierce.

She's the dream Luna. Perfect breeding and such without any problems with her health or the fact she's a pure werewolf who would be fully accepted by the society. Frier made the right choice. He honestly made the best choice there is.

"You know, you remind me of someone" she says, her eyes never straying from my face. It was a bit jarring, but I keep that to myself.

We enter the elevator and she press the button for the ground floor. "Really? How so?" I ask, not knowing what to do if we suddenly settle in to a silent atmosphere, so I do everything to continue the conversation.

I'd give a limb if I have to

"Yes, my friend, Dyson who is from the Arkaline werewolf clan had a sister. As you probably know, the Arkaline clan is reduced to only three living descendants now. Him, his cousin and his sister and oddly enough, seeing you reminds me of his sister"

I furrow my brows. "I thought his sister is dead?"

"Well, Dyson never really lost hope. Arkaline werewolves are really stubborn, it's one of the reasons they're who they are. So, that tells me you know him?"

The Arkaline clan are werewolves with the uncanny ability to exchange their wolves with powers. A gift from the Moon Goddess as they are the only clan that can converse with her. An Arkaline werewolf has generally met the Moon Goddess once in their life. The reason why only three people are left from the family is because of that ability.

I know who Dyson was, he was also Iona's nurse during her trial when she's accused of leading a revolt with the vampires against the peace that both species maintained after the war. Dyson is a good man from Iona's stories, but I have never formally met him. All I know is that he sacrificed himself for Iona when he barely even knew her.

Honestly, that's a red flag but I guess there are feelings you can't explain.

"Not personally but from what I heard, Dyson is a good man" I say, the elevator halts on the lobby and opens in front of us.

"He is" she says, a whisper of a smile showing on her face. I wanted to question it, but it fades the moment I spotted it. It's replaced with her cheerful smile. "Are you nervous on meeting the past Luna and Alpha?"

I shake my head "We've met before."

"On good terms, I assume"

"No, but I survived so I don't feel any trouble from visiting again." I say while we walk out of the building and see the black SUV waiting for us.

Amanda looks worried for me. something I'm not used to from a werewolf that has just met me. She looks genuinely concerned while we walk side by side. "the past Alpha can be a bit..."

"hateful of my kind?" I finish for her, I can't help but smile genuinely at the last time we saw each other. I remember him spatting insults to me in the hospital when Iona fell on her head. "Or hateful of me?"

"Yes" she says with hesitation. She really seems to care whether I get offended or not.

I shrug while I climb in the back and she follows beside me. I assumed she'll sit on the front with Frier who'll probably drive as the werewolf who was driving just exited when we arrived.

"But Luna Fiona is a very kind woman. She doesn't care much as long as her family is safe" she comforts me.

She really didn't have to put me at ease. I am at ease and I could barely care for the other specifics since in my mind I was here for a job. "I've met Aunt Fiona. She's a good woman, I know."

"Aunt?"

"Long story" was all I could say. I didn't mean to be rude during the conversation or snappy but the two is hard to ignore at this point. I could feel there animosity directed at her and it's mingling with my own emotions.

"Oh" she says, turning quiet. Frier thankfully climbs in the driver seat by that time and I was extremely thankful when her attention goes to him.

He looks to his empty side and looks behind him. both of mine and Amanda's eyes were on him as he looks from me to her. "Amanda, come here. it's safer for you to be beside me"

"Oh, right silly me" she smiles shyly. She was about to climb out until Frier stops her by putting his arms around her waist and easily carrying her to the front seat. I hear her squeal and giggle while I just sigh and look away. "Frier! I could have just climbed down"

"It's easier this way" I hear a seatbelt clicking and a kiss. "I want you to be safe"

"Oh" was all Amanda could say, I imagine her blushing and when I looked, I was absolutely right.

The stabbing feeling on my chest is close to unbearable but I had to bear it. I silently grip on to the leather seats as I feel my claws budding out of my nail beds and piercing the covering.

Replaced because of a useless you Eros remarks

I ignore her I look out of the window. The two continued their conversation as if I didn't exist on the back and I try to not mind but I never felt as lonely as this. My stomach rumbles, remembering I haven't eaten anything since I went to the office so early that no one in my family ate and just went straight to work. Then the sudden thought of my stomach, I remember the scars. It does me good to think that Frier isn't a good man to feel a longing for.

It doesn't do much with the pain in my chest, but it does help me look as uncaring as I didn't feel. It justified me staying put and baring the pain in my chest whenever I thought of the things Frier did.

I never felt fear as lethal as today. My hands were bound above my head and my ankles were held by strong hands of a werewolf budding warrior. I glare with wide eyes as Frier and David comes close to me.

I couldn't fight back since how could I when everything I do ends with me dying. I strongly grip my hands around the bounds on my wrist, this is the only thing I can do at this moment. I'm left with clutching on to something to get ready.

The curved knife with the silver liquid in its diamond circumference twirls playfully in David's hands. I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry or even run away but I was stuck with the silver bounds on my wrists and the stronger werewolf on my ankles.

I've never thought I've ever see that knife in real life. I've heard about it from the news or the pamphlets given to us in class about the advance technology the Elders were building for us.

"Let's play a game" Frier whispers, his voice sent shivers down my spine while he coldly looks at me. "It'll be like hangman"

I open my eyes, I just drifted in to a memory again. I just helplessly slipped in to it. We were still driving to the borders of his territory which meant it's going to be such a long drive still. Amanda looks close to sleeping while she holds a book in her hands. I was so far in to my mind that I was gone for a good hour

I should have brought a book as well.

Without realizing it, I whisper to myself "Let's play a game" I try to feel the words on my tongue and tried to pass it out as a song. I don't want the two to notice me nor do I want them to think I want to play a game with them.

I just wanted to measure the words on my own tongue. I wonder how Frier couldn't choke on his cruel words at that time as it felt so conniving and sick on my own mouth. I sounded like a sick lunatic which who Frier is, I guess.

"It'll be like hangman" I whisper again, my eyes drawn out to the passing view of cars and the road. We passed through the houses of the suburbs at first but as we got on to the highway, there were only trees and countless hectares of land.

The car suddenly goes to a screeching halt. I hit the headrest of Amanda's seat. I wince at the pain on my forehead, I hear cars behind us swerving to avoid our car and I questioningly look at the driver to see what's happening.

"Frier!" Amanda says in shock. She's rattled from it all as well.

My stomach flips as I am met eye to eye with Frier who's looking at me with a horrified expression. His eyes wide and lips popped open in an O shape. He heard, that is all I can guess by it and that he still remembers it.

Good, he should never forget because if I can't then he shouldn't either. The scars and the fear made it hard for me to easily move on. Though he doesn't have either, I'm glad that he hasn't moved on too.

I look at him with a cold façade not needing or wanting this expression of his from the start. "Drive, Frier. Don't look at me like I've hanged myself" I couldn't help but grin at what I said.

This is a sick joke that a sick f**k like him would be able to understand. I can't imagine myself not laughing at the joke either, maybe I'm sick in the head too in some way.

That snaps him off from his look at me. his face turning cold once again while Amanda just looks at the both of us in confusion. "what's wrong?" she asks

"Nothing, I just thought I heard something" he gruffly says while continue on driving.

I replay his expression in my head, but I don't think much of it. I might have demon parents, but I know as hell that the devil himself can't feel remorse for what he did. He is just scared that I'll tell Amanda about how horrifying he truly is and how he's a devil in sheep's clothing.

"The game goes like this, if you don't scream then we won't draw the hanging man." He grins. It chilled me to the bone that grin "Shall we Frier?"

I thought about someone saving me from this situation but then again I was betrayed in to this. I don't think I'll be able to get out of this unharmed at all. No one would save a dying hybrid who they hated for so long.

"Don't scream and you'll complete the word, isn't that simple?" Frier made an identical grin.

Simple? it is far more simpler to just kill me but they would never give me that. This is what they wanted, they wanted me to suffer but I'm not going to give them that. I'm not going to scream

"Let's start then"

"M" The sharp sting of the blade on my abdomen almost made me lurch out of the table. I feel the burn of the silver going under my skin and permanently tattooing itself on my skin. My skin cut open while I stare with wide eyes at the ceiling, the tears flowing freely down my cheeks as I try hard to not scream

I beg my brain to loose consciousness. I beg myself to give me that kind of mercy in the least.

But I was awake through it all because mercy doesn't come for those who are hated.

"Don't scream" I whisper even quieter to myself. I'm confident that they didn't hear me as Amanda is trying to comfort Frier and he has turned the radio on. "really simple"

It was simple for him