You're Killing Me, Mate.

4. This was Never Home

"Home is the nicest word there is" -Laura Ingalls Wilder

My knees buckled, my heart thrummed painfully in my chest. I couldn't move my arms and legs even if I tried. I push my body to lay on my back. Staring under the canopy of the forest. I didn't know what happened.

One minute, I was running and pushing my heart to the point of pain and the next I dropped to the ground as my legs just stopped moving and I couldn't move them. Catching my breath, it starts to ease, and my heart normalizes.

Mama did this Eros growls in fury. She's really mad at missing the chance of escaping my body. I can feel her trying to push and stress my heart but none of it was working.

Mom must have put a spell on me when she kissed my forehead. It's the only explanation to what's happening to my body. My whole body is soon relaxing while I watch the trees swaying with the wind. The loud thrumming of my heart is ceasing while I hear the other two sulking deep inside of me.

Soon Deima promises while receding deep in my mind.

I didn't know how long I was on the forest floor, alone with my thoughts. The coldness and emptiness were slowly seeping out of my body and system. Though, I knew it'll come back since depression, anxiety and your suicidal thoughts don't really go away unless you face your demons. My old therapist used to say that, and I keep wanting to laugh when I remember it. Since she's human, she probably thought I was going mad but the funny part about it is that she didn't know I have demon parents hence why it was so funny.

I always face my demons, they're my f*****g parents for heaven's sake.

My hand is resting just above one of the words he cut in to me. I didn't need to look to know what word it was.

ABOMINATION.

I still remember their laughter while they experimented on me. Remembered the knife, the burning pain that you wanted to escape from, and the taste of blood in my mouth as I held in the scream.

"Hey, half-blood, did you know silver hurts both vampires and werewolves?" He asks as if he is genuinely curious as to what I was thinking. "Look at this neat knife the elders gave us. I wonder if it actually works" David plays with the knife between his index finger and thumb.

I force open my eyes, not wanting to see them. I feel incredibly sick like I wanted to vomit and the urge to do so managed to propel me to sit up and hurl all of my dinner on the forest floor. My tears stinging my eyes while I crawl away from my vomit and drop on my back again.

"My blood and heart" I hear her before I saw her. I felt her before I recognized her face in the slowly darkening sky. She takes me in her arms like I'm nothing, putting me on her lap while cupping my cheek like I was a child again.

Smiling softly, she says to me "I told you, I am not going to lose you"

All I can do at that moment was smile and cry. The smile on my face feels forced like my skin is ripping apart because of it. My fingers clutching on to her shirt while my coolness crumbled, and the mask was gone. My heart breaking all over again. My pain is coming back again.

It was only then that it dawned to me that I'm not okay and I don't think I ever will be if I stayed here

-

-

It was paramount that I have someone with watching over me. My parents took turns and asked permission to Frier about it and for some reason he said it was fine. I didn't care why he said it's okay for my parents to miss work. I don't have the will in me to care about that anymore.

The emptiness came back and it's staying. Mom's spell that she learned from the witches keeps me from harming myself, Deima and Eros included. It's not foolproof though as it wears off every eight hours and Mom has to wake up at such odd hours for me.

Before I knew it, Monday arrived, and Miguel is coming here. I didn't know what to feel about it. I don't know what I feel about him being here. He already saw the words carved in to me like a pumpkin. He kissed them and told me I'm incredibly important.

Opting to find something to feel through my memories, that is the memory I chose. The memories of me and Miguel and how he made me feel even if Deima and Eros was chipping away my sanity. I remember how they roared in my head when he took my first. I was lost in my high, but they were trying to tell me that it was wrong.

But to me it felt incredibly right. And liberating.

Still, even with the memories the emptiness was still there. Someone has still carved my insides out and left an empty husk. My depression has always been described that way and for a time, that is its name.

"Your Mom is going to pick him up" Dad kisses my forehead, he doesn't know how to do the spell so he is just doing this for affection. He smiles at me, trying everything to comfort me and make me feel better.

I wanted to feel better for him but feeling better requires an energy in me that isn't there. Or it merely doesn't exist anymore.

"You know you can still talk right?" Dad lightheartedly says. He cups my cheeks and squishes them together. "Right our cute dumpling?"

I could only smile while his hold on my cheeks loosen and I see the small tinge of sadness in his eyes. I'm mad at myself for not being able to get it together enough for him. But as I said I can't bring myself to do anything to make him feel better.

Miguel entered my room, my nose picking up his scent of raspberries and wood. It was a strange combination but it somehow complements each other, and I loved it. I make no movement as I'm faced away from the door and curled on to my side.

"Mirage?" I've always liked how he said my name; his way makes it feel like it means more than just my name. it feels special and normal at the same time.

I don't move but I sniff. I've been crying for a while now; my pain demands to be felt so I feel it. I hear something drop then felt his hand on my shoulder. His warm hand that is slowly warming me.

"Hey, darling" he kisses the side of my head while he pulls me to his muscular chest. His arms circling around my waist and his warmth threading my back. "I'm here"

I look at him, my lashes still wet. I put one hand on his strong jaw and trace it up to his slightly pointy ears. "You're here" I croaked

He makes a toothy grin, showing off his perfect white teeth with his perfect plump lips. "I'm here" he says again while kissing my nose. "How's my wonderful girl?"

I choke, the tears flowing rapidly while I tried to say "Not so wonderful" but it ends up being chortled and messy.

"Oh, hey, shh" he coos. He shifts so that I'm facing him now while he wipes the tears off of my face. "I know you're not feeling good and you don't have to. No one is forcing you to be, we just want you to get to it at your own pace and that...that you'll be okay enough at the end, alright?"

I sob but nodded anyway. "I'm so lucky to have you"

He smirks "Glad that you know. Keep that in mind"

For the first time in what felt like ages, I smile. A genuine smile "I always have"

Miguel held me for a long time. His hand running circles on my back and at times he read me books or told me what happened back in the UK. He's finishing his thesis and he's close to graduating. He even reminded me to eat and told my Mom to renew the spell.

I can't believe he's okay with the idea of Demons and the supernatural now. Some humans knew of us and some doesn't. It's also a funny image to see of him talking to Mom about a witch's spell to make his hybrid werewolf and vampire girlfriend feel better, especially when the first time I told him he just croaked "Are you going to sparkle now?"

It was probably at the third day of him being there with me still down in the dumps, when Mom came in with a blank face. She was getting lost in her thoughts again which only meant whatever was bothering her is big.

"What's wrong?" I ask, feeling better enough to talk and to actually show that I cared. Miguel is still by my side. We've been talking about the places we wanted to go since I was feeling up to it and I felt a bit guilty that he's going away in four days and he hasn't been anywhere except my room or this house.

"He's coming" Mom says, her eyes wide. I get the message she's trying to cross.

"Why?" I ask, a bit panicked while I look at Miguel. It's dangerous for him to be here with an Alpha werewolf that can go crazy with jealousy. I can irritate Frier about him since Miguel wasn't here for him to hurt but now that he was.

I didn't expect this to happen. My plan was to leave the wedding without any interaction with Frier and me and Miguel would spend a week going around tourist destinations and leaving back to the UK. That also reminds me that I haven't told Miguel about me having to stay here.

"What's wrong?" Miguel asks me, when he noticed the panic on my face.

I purse my lips and sigh "He's coming here"

His brows furrowed, and he sit ups even more. "Okay, now?"

I nod

He looks at my face "Are you okay to face him?"

I smile, I could feel his pure worry and concern for me. I know he knows the danger it means for him when Frier is close, but he still chooses to worry for me. "I'm going to be okay, but you need to hide in one of Dad's pocket dimensions"

He gives me a wry smile. "I've always wanted to be in Doraemon's pocket, I guess that is close that I can get"

"You're such a dork" I tease while kissing his nose.

"You know that coming in but seriously" he cups my cheeks "Are you going to be okay?"

Looking him in the eye, I nodded. Deima and Eros are jumping up and down wanting to meet their mate again even though I myself is less ecstatic while another horrid memory just hangs on the tip of my mind. "I'm okay"

He doesn't believe me. I know he doesn't because of how he looks at me right now. There was uncertainty and the furrow of his brows tells me that it is eating him up. He wants to help but he also knows how human he is in this situation

Weak... that is all he'll ever be Deima says in disgust.

Human he may be but that doesn't mean he's weak. I snap back at her.

"Come now, child" Mom coaxes him while smiling comfortingly "We'll be here for her and we wouldn't let anything happen"

He looks at Mom with the same uncertainty. "Okay" he looks at me and kisses me softly on the lips. "Please don't get hurt"

I smile while nodding. Mom takes him to Dad in the other room to put him in a safe pocket portal, the same portal we use to go through airports without having bags or suitcases.

Mom came back a few seconds later to tell me that he's safely tucked in to the portals where Frier can't ever reach him, the portals are the safest places we can keep him from Frier's killing hands. I know he has killed before, beings like us that aren't human has license to kill within the species as long as it isn't human.

However, if Frier kills Miguel he wouldn't get in trouble because in the Elder's eyes he was just doing his duty of keeping his mate. I dread the day he'll use that against me but knowing Frier I need to be prepared for everything. What's important is that I protect Miguel.

BANG!

Me and Mom jumps in surprise at the loud sound. It sounds like the front door of the house being slammed close. I look at Mom at the same time she looked at me, our thoughts matching at who it could be by how we looked at each other.

Eyes wide with a knowing look and a tinge of caution. For the first time since my other attempt at my life, I finally exited my room and went to the living room. Dad stands intimidatingly while Frier sat down on the couch. He looks relaxed and calm but when I entered his nose flared and his gaze snaps to me.

He cracks a grin "I see loverboy is here"

"Loverboy is none of your concern, but he is, and he is safely away from you" I answer back at him while sitting on the couch across him, I look away from him when I felt the cold fingertips of a horrible memory coming back.

"I'm not here for him" He sounds like he's trying to reassure me, but I don't let that consume me. "I'm here for our agreement in the pack house"

I nod "Yes, I know my deadline is coming up—"

"I'm going to give you a job" he cuts me before I can finish fumbling for an excuse.

"What job?" Mom answers for me as I was shocked. He's going to give me another job? What is it now? Cleaning the pack house like a common maid where they can mistreat me?

"Your daughter graduated in Psychology, didn't she? I would want her to be the packs therapist"

I scoff "Now, you want me to be a therapist? What stupidity is this Frier?"

"As I said, I don't want any dead weight in my pack. I know of your degree and want to take advantage of it. A lot of my members have inherited a genetic mutation that causes them to be... a tad bit aggressive—"

"Wild wolf disorder, you're going to place me as their therapist? A f*****g hybrid?" I try hard not to growl out my words, but it was incredibly hard. "You're still keen on getting me killed?"

"I assure you, your safety is my priority and I would give you the greatest security that I can give while treating your patients"

"How sure are you that the security you'll give would keep my daughter safe?" Dad steps forward, giving me the view of something bulging out the back of his shirt. It was his wings that was ready to sprout in his fury.

Mom sees this as well and she's ready to shield me away if it does. Demon wings weren't made of normal feathers but actual steel that's sharp to the touch and could stab me through my spine. Mom would be able to heal or block it but if I take the brunt of it then I'm sure to die with my weakened state.

"You've kept her alive this long, right?" Frier smirks at Dad

What? I look between Frier and to my parents. Is he...?

"You're no longer going to attend my dungeons but you're to protect your daughter in sessions within my pack. Some of my members has nightmare complaints as well which I know your wife would benefit in"

A pin could drop, and we'd hear it. There was a sheet of silence in the room while I look uncertainly at my parents. Mom looks unsure as well, but I've heard her complain about how dank and disgusting the dungeons were. She hated it while Dad has the same complaint. "At least the fire keeps everything sanitized in the underworld" Dad once grumbled.

Both of my parents look at me, the way they looked at me seems like they're asking permission to say yes or they're waiting for me to say something. I trust my parents with my life and I was sure that the two of them combined can kill anything. Mom was once a countess in the demon clan which meant she was given a training like a werewolf warrior. She fought in the rapture and was an inch close on striking down Gabriel from the sky while Dad is pretty self-explanatory.

"Fine but I need an office with three separate rooms and fully furnished" I say, running my mouth as if I've practiced before when I haven't. I am a fresh graduate that interned at the best clinics but still, having your own is different.

Frier nods "We've already arranged it" he places something on the coffee table between us. It was a set of keys. "You have your own bathroom and office and such. It would be on the fifth floor of the pack house"

I purse my lips. "Wait, isn't that your—"

"It was but now the demand for a therapist is needed and I am willing to make some space for the wellbeing of my pack members" he answers so coolly and calmly, I'd think he was a robot. "it's also easier to hear any complaints from you or your parents when I'm in the same floor"

"Is this a trick for you to put my daughter in your bed?" Dad threateningly steps forward again

Frier shakes his head. "I think I've made it apparent from past visits and till now that I have no intention of having your daughter. Your hate for me is already the proof of that. I am just here to keep your daughter alive as to not anger the beings inside us. You've already known that I've rejected her, and I'd like to keep it that way"

I'd admit that hurt more than I'd wanted it to be.