For The Love Of Yuri

(For Yuri) Now Or Never

Gwendal and Conrad called an ambulance in order to take Wolfram to the hospital. And it only took 10 minutes for them to get there.

On the way, Conrad was still thinking about the poem that the blond had written a while back… and also the message attached to it. Both he and Gwendal never thought that their baby brother would actually fall in love with a young man who became his only friend since the day that they transferred to Yuri's neighborhood.

And that was 10 years ago… when Wolfram was still confused and clueless on what's really happening to their family.

Wolfram and Yuri became fast friends when Yuri saved Wolfram from the bullies that was about to hurt the latter. That event had made him gained a friend worthy of his trust.

There weren't too much people at the hospital when they arrived there. And immediately, Wolfram was sent to the emergency room in order to be checked and examined by the doctors. They were a bit tensed and more worried as seconds went by… until the examination itself reached an hour before the doctor that examined their brother came out.

And from what Conrad and Gwendal could tell, it's not very good news.

Yuri was happily spending his time at the amusement park along with Erika, since he promised her that he'll be spending this day with her. But sometimes, his thought wasn't actually focusing on having fun with the young lady.

It was because he was getting worried about Wolfram.

He knew that Wolfram was sick but it actually doesn't seem so whenever they're together at school. The blond was even infuriated (at the very least) whenever he was teasing him, and that's actually the Wolfram that he knew for 10 years now.

He first met Wolfram when he saw him about to be bullied by some prankster kids on their neighborhood a few hours after Wolfram's family had transferred. He got fascinated to befriend him since there weren't much foreigners living in that neighborhood. And he was surprised to know that Wolfram could actually speak Japanese despite being a foreigner. Since that fateful day, he considered Wolfram as one of the most important people in his life.

But that didn't really become the reason why Wolfram was so important to him.

Wolfram is important to him because of one shocking and unbelievable, and yet beautiful reason that up until now, no one knows except Erika.

He was actually in love with Wolfram!

He was in love with him not because of hi bishounen looks that's compared to a Hollywood star, but it's because he could already feel in his heart that Wolfram was already his destiny. He knew it was completely strange especially for a guy like him but still, he couldn't help it. He couldn't help thinking about it ever since it has entered his mind and struck his heart with that realization.

Wolfram is his destiny, that's what he wanted to think and feel.

And he knew that meeting him wasn't merely just a coincidence; it was an inevitable fate.

But even though he could feel that, for some reasons, he doesn't have any guts to admit that to his blond friend.

That's right… A friend…

That's what he wanted to think about their relationship right now since he couldn't admit the truth to him.

But it seems that their friendship was just nothing to Wolfram. It's because if they're really friends, he would know the reason why he took and early vacation. He should be the first person to know that, besides Wolfram's family, of course.

He heaved a heavy sigh after thinking about that. And he doesn't even notice that Erika was just beside him.

"You're worried about Wolfram, aren't you?" Erika asked but most likely, it was a statement.

Yuri just smiled sadly at that. "You can tell, huh?" And then he sighed again. "Yeah, you're right. But I guess it wouldn't matter if I should be feeling this way. He wouldn't even care."

"That's because you're surprisingly good at hiding your true feelings for him," Erika said. Then she became serious. "But if you're going to be like that all the time, there's no way that he would know you truly care for him."

"I know that. It's just that…" But Yuri couldn't continue what he was going to say.

"You're afraid of losing him, aren't you?"

He looked at her with wide eyes. But after a while, he just laughed weakly. He really couldn't hide anything from this girl anymore, especially everything that concerns him and Wolfram. "You're really good at guessing my feelings, huh?"

"That's not a guess. I'm just stating the truth."

"I'm sorry, Erika," he suddenly said.

She frowned. "What for?"

"I ruined your fun because I became too worried about Wolfram," he said, without looking at her.

Erika faintly smiled. "You don't have to apologize. I'm actually glad that you could really confide me with anything concerning your love life."

Yuri just laughed at that. And then Erika soon followed.

But that fun abruptly ended when Yuri's cell phone suddenly rang. He took it from hi pocket and looked at the name displayed on the LCD screen as it continues to ring. But it does make him curious to see Conrad's name on it.

"Huh? Conrad? I wonder why he calling…" he murmured and then he decided to answer the call. "Hello? This is Yuri."

"Yuri, I'm sorry if I called you all of a sudden," Conrad said on the other line. "But this is actually important."

That made him frown. "Important? Is there something wrong, Conrad?" But after he asked that, an image of Wolfram suddenly entered his mind. "Did something happen to Wolfram?"

Silence. And after a while, Yuri heard a heavy sigh on the other line that made him even more determined and concerned to know what's going on.

"His body finally gave up…" Conrad silently said.

But even so, Yuri clearly heard it. And he doesn't like what that implies to.

Erika, on the other hand, could only watch Yuri as he tightened his grip on the railings near the merry-go-round. And she couldn't help but to feel worried for him.

"Where is he?" Yuri asked the man on the other line. "I need to see him… Please…" There was a hint of pleasing in his voice.

And because of that, Conrad told Yuri the hospital where Wolfram was brought to.

After that, he ended that call and then he sighed heavily soon after. He looked at Erika with a sad face and the woman somehow understood what he wanted to do at that moment.

"I'm really sorry, Erika. I did promise that I'll be accompanying you today but then—"

"It's okay," the girl said, stopping Yuri from going to continue what he was about to say. And then she smiled. "It does gives me worries whenever Wolfram's involved. Besides, if I let you stay here, I'm sure your mind would be occupied with your worries for your loved one," she said, emphasizing the last two words that made Yuri slightly blush.

"Erika, you don't have to say it out loud," Yuri sheepishly whispered that made her laugh for a while.

"But it's true, right? So there's nothing for you to be shy about." Then she turned serious. "In any case, I think you should go."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Of course! You don't have to worry about anything. Just go…" she said while smiling.

And with that, he hugged her because of overwhelming joy in his heart. "Thank you for always supporting me, Erika."

She hugged him in return. "It's my duty, remember?" Then after a while, she let him go. "You should go. He's probably waiting for you."

At the hospital…

Yuri arrived from the amusement park in just 20 minutes. Even though he's breathing hard when he reached the entrance, he continued to run towards the information booth.

"Miss, can you please tell me where's Wolfram von Bielefeld's room?" he asked despite breathing hard because he needed to catch his breath.

The nurse at the information booth typed something to her computer, probably searching at the computer's database. And after a few moments, she spoke.

"Sir, it's located on room 1625, just on the west wing," she politely said.

He bowed to thank the woman and then immediately proceeded to the said location. But as he was about to reach that place, he saw Conrad sitting on one of the waiting chairs, as if waiting for him.

That's the time he was finally noticed by the said man. And with that, Conrad stood up and waited for him to approach.

"Conrad!" he called out. And then he finally stopped running near Conrad. "Where's Wolfram? Is he alright?"

The brown-haired man shook his head and at that instant, Yuri felt his heart had stopped beating for some seconds as he absorbs what the man had answered.

"What do you mean he's not alright?" he asked.

"The doctor said that Wolfram's body had suffered so much because of the stress that had piled up inside of him from overworking himself for a long time. And that actually caused him to faint and lose his strength," Conrad explained nonchalantly.

It took him a while to absorb in his mind all of what Conrad had said.

"But what exactly is his sickness? I need to know…" he said.

Conrad just shook his head ad looked at him seriously but with a sad face. And when Conrad told what he needed to know and more, he felt his knees quivered and had somehow lost its strength to stand up that made him fell down in his knees.

That can't be… That can't be true! He could only scream in his mind as he tried to absorb all of what Conrad just told him.

The latter could only look at him with sympathy for it seemed that Yuri really cared for Wolfram for him to react like this… but that was when he haven't told the boy the truth about his brother.

But now…

I'm sorry for this, Yuri, Wolfram. But there's just something that I wanted to know from this. I know… and I can feel that Yuri loves you, Wolfram. I'm sure of it. But he has to overcome this test, Conrad thought as he continued looking at Yuri. If he really loves my brother… If his love for him is true… Then he should wholeheartedly be willing to accept Wolfram no matter who or what he is… And he must be strong enough to counter the cards dealt by their fates.

Yuri, at the moment, felt numb right now.

His mind kept on saying that everything he had heard from Conrad wasn't true. But then, it's no use.

Right now, even though he couldn't accept it, it's the reality.

He couldn't be with Wolfram in any way… He'll never be able to tell him the truth about his feeling for the one he loves…

And there's nothing he can do about it…

Will everything end here? Yuri's heart whispered. Can I really accept this?

I'm really sorry, Yuri… Conrad sadly thought.

Few hours later…

The sun was beginning to set at the west. The sky's color was slowly turning from orange to red but still, it's a beautiful view.

Wolfram woke up after a while. He frowned and slowly opened his eyes. He looked around for a while and he was slightly surprised to see himself inside a hospital room. That made him sat up from his bed. He tried to remember what happened before this.

And slowly, images came to his mind. At that instant, he remembered what happened to him.

That's right. I lost consciousness… just after I wrote the poem for Yuri… Wolfram thought as he remembered the sole reason why he wrote that poem to Yuri… to the man he loves more that anyone even though it's quite painful.

He sighed heavily at that thought.

I guess this is it, huh? I'll never be able to tell him the truth about my feelings for him… he said to himself sadly. And without knowing, his tears began to fall again. Why? Why does it have to end this way? Why couldn't my fate give me a chance to let me at least experience happiness even if it's for a while with the man I love?

And then he stared gloomily outside the window. He could see the sun as it sets; its red color just made his heart felt so heavy… filled with so much emotion he couldn't define for now.

But even still, he smiled… sadly.

Conrad was right. Writing something really does release some heavy burdens inside one's heart. And after he wrote that poem, he felt somewhat… light.

As he continued to muse for a while, that's when Conrad entered the room. He turned to look at the door when he heard it opened. "Conrad…"

The said man smiled at him, as he walked towards Wolfram's bed. "You seem… to be fine already, Wolfram."

Wolfram looked down and avoided Conrad's stare. And then he clenched his fist as he was still clutching a portion of his blanket. Then he whispered, "I'm sorry…"

Even though it's only a whisper, Conrad heard it clearly.

"What are you apologizing for?" he calmly asked. "Was it because you overworked yourself too much and you weren't even thinking of what others might feel because of that?"

The blond didn't say anything. He's still looking down.

"By the way, I told Yuri that you're here…" Conrad said that made Wolfram gazed at him with eyes wide open.

"He went here few hours ago, but then he also left just after he made sure that you're okay," Conrad continued. "He was really worried about you."

"Yuri… went here? Then you told him about my condition?" the blond asked.

He shook his head. "Not everything. Though I told him how worst it is."

And then Wolfram looked outside again… at the direction where he could see the sun as it slowly sets to the horizon.

Then I guess I have to tell Yuri the truth before everything will be over for me… before I leave him for good… he thought. But… could I really tell him everything?

"Wolfram… there's something I need to tell you," Conrad suddenly said soberly.

That disrupted the flow of his thoughts and made him looked at his older brother. "Tell me something? About what?"

But honestly, he doesn't like the seriousness in Conrad's voice.

"We have to go back… to our country…" the brown-haired man said.

Wolfram's eyes widened when he heard that. "Go back? But why? We're already okay living here. Why do we have to go back now, of all times?"

"I don't know the exact reason but Mother called earlier and she said that it's time for us to go back since the civil war is already over," Conrad explained.

"But Conrad—"

"Don't even try to, Wolfram," Gwendal immediately said as soon as he opened the door and entered that room.

"Big Brother…"

"It's already final. We'll be living 3 days from now," Gwendal said sternly.

And at that instant, the blond felt that his strength had been taken from him the moment he heard the finality in his brother's voice.

It's really meant to end this way… I'll never see Yuri again, Wolfram sadly thought. But it's not going to end without meaning!

"Conrad… may I have a paper and a pen? If that's going to be the case, then I guess I'll just leave some notes for my friend," he said as he emphasized the last word.

The said man complied. And when Conrad gave what the blond had asked, both he and Gwendal decided to leave him for a while.

As soon as the door was closed, Wolfram could feel his hand quivering as he tightened his grip on the pen, almost on the verge of breaking. And then, his tears began to fall as each drop landed on the clean white paper.

A sniffle… and then a sob…

The walls he had built in his heart started to crumble, realizing that everything is truly over. His shoulder began to shake and buried his face with his hands.

Now the pain that he's been bearing because of his unrequited love for Yuri had been doubled, all because of Yuri. At that moment, he thought that meeting Yuri was the most beautiful and at the same time, the worst of all that had happened to him in his entire life.

And through their ten years of friendship, he could really tell that loving Yuri had made his life the loveliest one to live… even though it's going to end sooner.

To cease the negative emotions about to creep and consume him once again, he decide to finally begin writing. But instead of writing a letter of goodbye for Yuri, he decided to write another poem. This way, he could express the determination in his heart that he's not going to end everything without meaning. Win or lose, he's not going to give up.

And after almost an hour of thinking and writing, he's finally done…

NOW OR NEVER

I

I kept this feeling inside my heart since before

Before I figured out that I was falling for you even more

But luck seems to be not on my side since I found out

So now my heart began to feel losing because of doubt

II

It's funny but it hurts me to the core of my heart

Like it was a board used in the game of darts

It made me curse my feelings for you because it happen

Whenever I look at the scene of you and that girl again

III

I know you don't know what I really feel for you

If only I could lose this instantly on a count of two

But it's not as easy as I thought it would always be

So now I'm asking if he'd like to know the real me

IV

It's now or never, I'll take the risk if I should

But taking just a glance of you made me doubt if I could

'Coz my knees shiver so I couldn't stand straight

I only hope I wouldn't feel dizzy like the loops of eight

V

This love of mine for you made my life complicated

Making me wonder if it will soon be reciprocated

I don't want to keep this emotion inside my heart forever

So I'll tell you my feelings that'll happen now or never.

But now that he's done writing it, what will he do? Does he really have the guts to tell his feelings to Yuri, knowing that he might lose him in the end?

He has to know the truth… and also the answer to all of his questions. So that way, he'll know where would his place be in Yuri's heart… no matter what the cost…

xxxxxxx

Coming Next:

WOLFRAM: This will mark the day that my fate would change… But then, a painful resolve will obliterate the hope that I kept in my heart in an instant…

YURI: I found out something about Wolfram that'll test everything about what I really feel for him. Though I wanted to fight it, there's still something inside of me that prevents me from doing so…

WOLFRAM: Next time, For The Love Of Yuri Chapter 3: Flame of a Forbidden Love.

YURI: I wanted to fight my feelings for you… but I guess I couldn't…