Beauty and the Damned

24 | Comfort

Though Ariadne was expecting it, it didn’t come, much to her surprise. She felt his hand snake around her waist.

“Let’s just stay like this,” he said and placed his head on her shoulder. She doesn’t know what’s happening to him. They were naked in a bathtub and all he wants to do was to hug. Ariadne has nothing against it. It’s just that she wasn’t used to it. But then she paused as she realized it was something they have never done before. Rowan was just leaning towards her, his hand—although moving in lazy circles—stayed in place. It was something she never expected. Something new.

It was intimacy. It was something she never had—they never had.

“You’re so stiff,” he said, almost a whisper. She was indeed stiff. She doesn’t know what to do if they aren’t doing it. Is she supposed to just sit there? But no matter how much she tries to question it, she couldn’t help but like the feeling. It was comfortable.

“What are you doing?” she asked when she finally found the right words to ask.

She heard Rowan laugh and he removed his hands on her waist and leaned back on the side of the tub. Ariadne looked at him only to see him close his eyes. Looking at him, she could tell he’s tired. Perhaps it was because of the trip. Or perhaps it was the looming possibility of getting himself killed.

He opened one of his eyes and looked at her. “You don’t have any siblings, do you?” 

She shrugged. “You didn’t see one when you are at the castle.”

She saw Rowan roll his eyes and then chuckle. “Right. My bad.” He sighed and shifted. “Well, I have five younger brothers. The one after me was the closest one I had.” Sadness crossed his eyes but it was gone in an instant, leaving no trace, as if there was nothing there in the first place. “My other four brothers are different. They see each other as a competition. Especially me.”

Ariadne isn’t entirely sure why Rowan was telling it to her but she listened anyway. Somehow, she got the hint that Rowan wanted her to know about it. So she listened.

“Because you’re their half-brother?” she asked and he nodded. She shifted and turned so that she’s facing him in the bathtub. 

“That, because I was the chosen to be the Crown Prince, and because I was my father’s favorite,” he said. “My father was biased. I could tell he was favoring me more than my other brothers. That’s why they don’t like me. I wished it wasn't true that they killed our father and our brother."

He has told her that story before but it was only at the moment that she could see the sadness in his eyes. It was raw and pure, and so bitter, she could almost taste it. She couldn’t see tears rolling down his cheeks, but she could hear how pained he was from his voice. A family that kills each other—she couldn’t imagine sharing a roof with people who plot her death almost every minute.

“They are competitive and they would even fight each other to gain our father’s favor. But my father never showed them an ounce of what he showed me. Perhaps that’s why we never got along.” He sighed and rested his head on her shoulder. His hands tightened around her waist and she curled her knees up to her chin and looked at the bubbles in the water.

“That’s not enough to kill their own father, though,” she said and played with the bubbles using her finger, writing something in cursive.

She felt Rowan’s gaze fall on her the moment she said those words. It must have been obvious in her voice. She must have sounded like she had a story to tell. She does have a story to tell but she doesn’t think she should say it. Besides, it was all in the past and it was something she doesn’t want to think about anymore. But Rowan’s curious gaze made her want to tell him everything because for the first time ever, she met someone who would understand her other than Delilah.

Ariadne doesn’t know how he did it but she is certain Rowan sensed her hesitation. He spread his arms on the side of the tub as if trying to look approachable. She almost rolled her eyes.

“Say it,” he said. “I’ve said something about myself, now it’s your turn.” He smiled at her.

She scoffed. “I never asked you to tell it to me,” she muttered but Rowan playfully splashed some water on her. She couldn’t help but yelp the moment the soap bubbles reached her face.

“You are an asshole!” she said, laughing.

Rowan laughed too. “I’m not,” he said and did it again.

“Fine, fine!” she exclaimed, raising both her arms up to shield her face. Thankfully, Rowan stopped and leaned back on the tub. She did the same on the opposite side. Her legs and in between his. Ariadne never talked to anybody about her parents. Not even to Delilah. She figured it wasn’t as important to be the subject of anyone’s talk. It was boring and cruel.

“My mother, just like yours, is a commoner,” she started. She saw how surprise passed Rowan’s face but she went on, “She met my father because she was once tasked to service the lords who just came from the war. My father was not yet king that time and he was one of the soldiers.”

My mom was poor and she needed the money. Hearing about the job offer, she accepted it. She thought, servicing the soldiers should be easy enough. My mother never thought it was another kind of service they want.” She took a deep breath. Her mother never told her the story. Why would she? Perhaps her mother was too embarrassed about it. But there was nothing more heartbreaking than to hear the story from the maids. When she finished hearing the story, she fired the maids the next day, much to her mother and father’s surprise. She didn’t tell them why. She just told them she didn’t like the maids. Her mother didn’t say it to her and there had to be a reason. So she kept on pretending not to know about it. But she has always known.

“My mother wanted to back out. The moment she knew what kind of service it was, she was forced to get out. But then the soldiers…” She took a deep breath. “The soldiers were cruel. When they saw my mother they took her. She was helpless and she couldn’t fight them. My mother couldn’t do anything when they molested her. They took turns and threw her out when they were done together with the bag of money she was promised.”

That same night, she went home bringing the bags of money and gave them to her family. They were ecstatic.” She let out a short breath. “They didn’t even know what she had to go through to have the money. Weeks later, my mother became pregnant.”

She looked at Rowan was just looking at her, waiting for her to say something next. “She was molested by several soldiers and she became pregnant…of me.”

Rowan’s brows furrowed as he looked at her and she already knows the question he has on his mind. “That’s right, I am not the daughter of the King. When my mother was molested, my father watched. But he did not do anything about it when he should have. He was the Crown Prince at that time. She should have the power to stop it. But he just watched and let it all happen. Perhaps it was guilt that he visited my mother and checked on her. I am sure why she fell in love with him but she just did. Until now, I don’t know if my mother knew that father only watched her that night.”

Rowan was silent and she sighed. She wrote something on the bubbles on the surface of the water. “When I know about this story, I was mad. I was angry. But I couldn’t get mad at my father. Not when I realized he could kick me out as easily as he took us in and claimed me to be his daughter and my mother as his wife. I wasn’t happy. My mother was.”

So while I was Crown Princess, I made sure the maids don’t talk. I don’t want to hear another story about my mother’s cruel childhood. When I became Queen, I had the guards find those soldiers who served the war with my father. I beheaded them in front of all the people. It felt good but it was something I would do over and over again for what they did to her mother many years ago.”

When she looked at Rowan, she could tell he was still digesting what she just said. Ariadne never told anyone about it. She planned to carry it to her grave and not let her mother know that she knows.

“That was…” Rowan trailed as if he couldn’t find the right words to say.

“Cruel?” She let out a bitter laugh. “Yes, it was. It was bitter and yet my mother swallowed it. She raised me and I was thankful for it. She doesn’t want me to know about it so I kept silent.”

Rowan didn’t say anything and just looked at her. There wasn’t any hint of pity on his face. Just understanding.

She sighed. “They died because of an accident. It was all too sudden. I was miserable and I blamed everyone. It wasn’t an excuse for me to become cruel but it was the start and perhaps I got addicted to it that I kept doing it. I am a bad person and I shouldn’t have become Queen. In fact, I wasn’t even supposed to be Queen in the first place. I was at the wrong place. I wasn’t even supposed to be born, Rowan. My mother should have killed me the moment she learned about the pregnancy but she decided to keep me even if it meant having her family turn their backs on her. I realized people will not take advantage of you if you take advantage of them first. Of course, it wasn’t right and I learned my lesson the hard way.” 

She sighed and Rowan was silent on the other side of the tub. “So that’s my story,” she said.

Rowan chuckled and looked at her. “It wasn’t. It wasn’t your story. That was your parents’ story. What do you like to do before during the night, Your Majesty?”

“Call me Ariadne, please. It’s inappropriate calling me that while we’re both naked in the bathtub together.”

A naughty grin escaped Rowan’s lips. “But you liked it when I call you Your Majesty while I was inside you—“

“Oh god, stop!” she shouted a little louder and Rowan’s response was a laugh.

He raised his hands up and said, “Fine, alright. So what do you like to do before during the night?”

She thought of that time. Back when she was still not cursed. But then she paused. “How is that even related to my story?”

Rowan shrugged. “Not your whole story but at least that’s one little thing about you. Not something related to your parents,” he said.

She thought about it and remembered what she used to do before she goes to bed. “I write,” she answered, blushing. Ariadne could see how Rowan’s face lit with surprise the moment she said it that she couldn’t help the blush the crept on her cheeks.

“You write?” he asked and she could clearly hear the surprise in his voice. She nodded. When she looked at him, she could see understanding on his face as if he just confirmed something.

“You are a masterpiece, you are the notes of every unsung song, you are the melody of a lost tune, a single word in a sea of lines and metaphors, yet I found you and now I am yours,” he said and looked at her. She couldn’t help the heat creeping on her cheeks.

“Where did you read that?” she asked, almost wanting to dunk her head under the water.

“I liked staying in your castle’s library. I found this piece of book that doesn’t have any embedded letters on the cover. I opened  it and it was a series of poems and short proses.” He looked at her. “Ariadne, they are beautiful,” he said.

“Stop it,” she said. She doesn’t know if Rowan genuinely found it beautiful or he was just saying that. When he looked at him, his face was defensive as if he read her mind.

“I am not just saying it. I am saying it’s beautiful because it is!”

She remained silent and curled her knees back to her chin. Nobody has ever seen those poems and she has never shown them to anyone. But Rowan somehow found it and he finds it beautiful. Ariadne couldn’t fight the smile tugging on her lips.

It was a simple compliment and yet she feels like she could last ten years because of it. Rowan always has a way of getting into her zone. He doesn’t make it uncomfortable. In fact, he blends right in. Sometimes, he would cause a stir but it was nothing I can’t handle. That is probably the reason why she doesn’t find it hard to tell him things she never told anyone.

He feels comfortable. Almost similar to home.

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