Behind Amethyst Eyes

Chapter 3- Birthday Celebration

I walk into the apartment carrying two huge balloons. A giant 2 and 1 in shiny gold for Katie’s birthday.

“Where do you want these?” a voice startles me. I look over to see a guy of average height, with golden hair and green eyes, holding teal streamers. I breathe out a sigh of relief to find that it’s only Mike. Mike is Katie’s long-term boyfriend. He grew up in Kedler with us, but they hadn’t started dating until after the accident. When I moved away, Katie and Mike hit it off. They were both on the swim team and bonded over that. He had filled the void in Katie’s life that I had left when I wasn’t with her every day. He was nice enough and treated Katie well, but him and I had never gotten close. I always felt like the third wheel when we all hung out.

“You can start hanging them up over there.” I say pointing to the empty wall in our living room. I check the time on my phone. “We have two hours before she gets home from work. When you get done with those, can you help me blow up the rest of the balloons?” I ask.

“Sure thing” he responds.

…

An hour and a half later, we have all of the decorations set up. I start putting together her ‘21st survival kit’ filled with everything she’d need to nurse her hangover in the morning. Since I have a few minutes before we’d have to get ready for Katie’s arrival, I decide to journal. Since that day, almost a month ago, I had never gotten my old journal back. I went out to buy a new one the next day because I couldn’t go 24 hours without sliding into my dream world. I filled these new pages with damsels in distress being saved by their knights. The girls were always different and needed to be saved from different troubles. The guy, however, was always the same.

I hadn’t seen Daniel again, but he consumed my dreams. I thought about going to the hospital to see if I could catch him, but then thought better of it. I didn’t want to seem like the stalker I had accused him of being. I kept telling myself I only wanted to get my journal back, but that was a lie. If I was being honest with myself, it’s because I wanted to see him, to see if he missed me as much as I missed him. I wanted to know if he had been in a trance for our almost-kiss like I had been. I wanted to know if he wanted to kiss me, like I do now. Who am I kidding? He wouldn’t. I’m not even sure why I feel that way over a guy I had only met once.

Ding Ding. I hear my phone go off. I shake my head to clear my inner monologue. The notification on my phone lets me know that Katie left work, which means Mike and I have ten minutes to hide. I push off the bed with two hands and wince. Not from the pain of a broken arm, but from the cast digging into my hand. Weirdly enough, the day after I broke it, it had stopped hurting.

“Mike, she’s on her way!” I yell as I walk back to the living room. I shut off the lights and we head to our hiding spots. We sit in silence for what feels like an hour. In the dark silence, the only sounds are the floorboards creaking under the pressure of our way and my heartbeat as it races in anticipation. Pain from being crouched behind the couch sets in and the muscles of my legs begin to fatigue when I hear keys rattling inside the lock.

“Kara you wouldn’t believe the customer I ha…”

“Surprise!” Mike and I jump up when she flips on the lights. I had wondered if Mike’s truck would give the surprise away but the look on Katie’s face tells me it didn’t.

“Happy birthday, baby” Mike says as he welcomes her with a kiss. I stand back and fiddle with the frayed edges around my cast, feeling like, once again, a third wheel.

“Aww, thanks you guys!” Katie says after she finished sucking off Mike’s face. “Please tell me we’re going out tonight.”

“Yes, we are. After you shower and get ready. You smell like grease and bacon” I say as I scrunch my nose. Katie works at the only 24-hour diner here in town. Her uniform consisted of everything you’d see a waitress wearing in a classic film: skimpy dress, apron, and obnoxious hat. Fortunately for Katie, her short stature made the dress an appropriately tasteful length. “So, get to it” I say as I shoo her away.

After Katie is clean and not smelling like cheap food, we’re singing and getting ready in the bathroom. While Katie is dusting her eyelids in a mix of pinks that make her blue eyes pop, I apply heavy amounts of hairspray hoping the curls will hold for the night. It takes me longer to get ready since I have to fight with the bulky cast the entire time. When we’re both finished, we stand in front of the oversized mirror in Katie’s room. Per usual, Katie looks like a goddess. Her short height grows in the gold strappy heels, accentuating her toned calves. She is wrapped in a soft pink bodycon dress, with thin spaghetti straps, ending an inch below her butt. Her icy hair is tied up in a sleek ponytail which, with the help of her flawless makeup, defines her facial features. My best friend is gorgeous and ready to party.

I have to admit to myself that I look pretty good. My hair is surprisingly holding soft curls falling just past my shoulder blades. My eyes are painted in gold making my already abnormal eyes shine even brighter. Thanks to Katie’s expert makeup work, my features are more clearly cut, and my lips are outlined and painted a pretty nude, oddly making them stand out, in a good way. My pendant sits just above the curves of my chest which are being pushed up by the slimming but tightly bound bodice of the dress. Katie picked out this dress that’s white with gold accents. The inch-thick gold belt cinches my waist which makes my curves much more prominent. The skirt is ankle-length and flowy with two symmetrical slits in front that my legs peak through when I walk. The slits end just before my hips, showing off more than I was comfortable with, but I was trying to let loose tonight for Katie’s sake.

“Damn Kara. We look hot” Katie says as she checks out all the different angles of her dress in the mirror. “Let’s go get Mike and take a few shots before we leave” she says before leaving me alone. I take one last look in the mirror noticing the huge eyesore on my left arm. Just two more weeks then I can get this thing off, I think to myself before heading to the living room to join the two lovebirds.

…

An hour later, the three of us are climbing out of Mike’s truck outside of the only club in the small college-town of Gladegle. During the summer, Larry’s is a typical small-town pub, but when the students invade the rest of the year, its status rises to an effective night club. Katie and I walk up wearing matching sashes with the words 21 and fun! written on them. Since Katie is my only real friend, I had decided to wait and have my big celebration with her since or birthdays were only a month and a half apart. We still celebrated, just with a few bottles of wine and some cheesecake in our apartment.

We walk through the doors and hear newer rap music playing loudly. Not my usual go-to but it has a decent beat for dancing. The three shots we had at home had already started taking effect. Katie was already tipsy being a lightweight, so Mike ordered her a water and some fruity concoction to ease her into the night. I, on the other hand, was blessed with a higher tolerance, so I order a whiskey sour, hoping it’ll be enough to dull my unease. We toss our drinks back rather quickly. Soon after, Katie grabs my hand and offers a huge smile as the beat changes to something a little more familiar.

“Oh, I love this song! Dance with me Kara” she yells over the music. Katie drags me towards the dancefloor in the half-sprint only she could manage while wearing six-inch heels. Mike gives us a little girl time as he watches protectively at the bar, sipping his beer. Katie finds an open patch of space and we slip in dancing how any other normal college girl would. My hands are raised in the air as I feel the thump of the bass vibrate through me and let my body move on its own accord. My hips dip and roll, swaying to the beat. Katie and I dance like this for a few songs, laughing with each other, just enjoying the moment together. A new song comes on; this one more grungy and provocative sounding than the others. I dance accordingly, lost in myself and the music. After a while, I notice our circle had grown smaller and a dozen or so foul eyes are leering at us. I try to ignore them. How does the saying go? You can look, but you can’t touch? That was my philosophy for the night. Of course, after I think this, large meaty hands find their way to my hips, pulling me in their direction. My body stills as I seize all movement and my eyes widen in shock. Katie, still feeling the numbing effects of the alcohol clouding her brain, raises her eyebrows at me with a wink, giving me the look of approval. I notice Mike had left his post at the bar and was now standing behind Katie in the same manner as the sleazebag behind me. The only difference, however, is Mike was acting protectively, whereas this dude was most likely trying to get into my pants. I feel hot breath below my ear when Mr. Sleaze speaks.

“Don’t stop, baby. Your body feels so good against mine.” He yanks on me harder, letting me feel the length of his hardness press firmly into my back. Nope. I’m so not drunk enough for this; I think to myself as I find his shoe to plant my heel in. “Ow, b***h” he hisses at me, but I turn away to talk to Katie before the vermin can get his grubby hands on me.

“I’m gonna get another drink and sit at the bar” I yell to her. She waves me off, too invested in Mike’s lips to actually answer. When I make my way back to the bar, I find an empty seat and order another drink with two shots. I slam the shots and chase them with my drink before ordering another round. After a few more rounds, my cheeks begin to tingle with a light buzz and warm from the alcohol’s kiss.

Just then, I hear a gorgeously deep laugh erupt from a few barstools down. My head automatically whips in the direction of the surprising sound. I lock eyes with a pair that match my own in abnormality and illuminating intensity. I quickly snap my head back, hiding behind my curls, in the hope that he wouldn’t recognize me. Yes, I wanted to see him again but not here, not like this. I’m too intoxicated to deal with this right now.

“Kara?” I clearly hear over the noise of the booming club. My breath hitches I my throat at his presence. Maybe he’ll go away if I don’t answer him. Hah, fat chance. Even if my eyes hadn’t been a dead giveaway, the bulky awkwardness of my left hand would be. I continue to ignore him and focus on the ice in my glass. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the couple to my right vacate their seats. Great, just great. Could my luck get any worse tonight? Daniel slides in smoothly and props his elbow up, leaning his chin on his hand. O steal a quick glance in his direction. He’s staring right at me, flashing a wide grin, and giving me that too-damn-handsome dimple. I go back to watching the ice melt…slowly.

“So, I give you a ride home and you repay me by ignoring me” he says amused. Guilt floods me as I turn in my seat to face him.

“Well, you did break my arm,” I say showing him the proof. “It was a very traumatic day” I try to tell him in aggravation, but my resolve falls as my face betrays me by offering him a small smile. Daniel flags down the bartender and orders two of whatever I was drinking. I take that moment to drink him in. He’s wearing a long-sleeved, dark green knit shirt. His eyes shine with a warmth, I hadn’t seen that first day, due to that shirt. Green might just be my new favorite color I sigh to myself. His hair was styled in a messy but perfectly placed way and a loose black curl hung down over his forehead. The bartender interrupts my ogling as he places four shots and two drinks in front of us. Daniel c***s a brow as he looks back to me.

“Just how many shots have you taken tonight?” he asks. The look on his face is split between amusement and genuine concern.

“Umm, ten…I think.” Now that I think about it, I don’t even know how many rounds I ordered. I probably should be more concerned with that, but the alcohol is suppressing any rational thought. I throw caution to the wind and toss back both shots, one after the other. Daniel stares back at me bewildered. “Let’s just start counting at twelve” I giggle as I offer him a big, toothy grin. He shakes his head just a little before changing the subject.

“I guess I should have said happy birthday” he says. I must have looked confused because he points at the sash, I forgot I was wearing.

“Not me. Katie. I’m February… I mean I was in February” I slur. Now he looks confused. “My birfday was in February so I waited…for Katie. Her’s is tonight.” As I said Katie’s name, I realized I hadn’t seen her in a while. I sit up straighter to look over at the dancefloor. Not being able to see over the parade of people, I try to balance on the lowest step of the stool. I realize my mistake too late as the alcohol’s influence causes me to lose my balance, propelling me into Daniel. His quick reflexes have him standing to catch me, but the force of my dead weight pushes him backwards, slamming him into the large man behind him.

“Hey, watch it,” the guy says half turned around. He looks at the two of us, first at Daniel, then at me. His face contorts in anger. s**t. “You” he spouts, voice laced with venom. Out of every guy here, did Mr. Sleaze have to be the one we fell into. Daniel rights himself, not taking his hand off my lower back.

“Sorry man. She just fell out of her chair” Daniel says. As he looks between Mr. Sleaze and I, he tenses. Mr. Sleaze is looking me up and down with a mix of rage and unfiltered lust. That face has me frozen in fear as unwanted memories flood my thoughts. It’s the same look Marshal held any time I fought back. “Do you two know each other?” he asks as he takes a protective step towards me. I shrink into myself as the man’s gaze continues to bore into me. I clutch Daniel closer to me with shaky hands.

“The b***h stomped on my foot earlier. Scratched my new shoes.” Mr. Sleaze spits at me. Daniel steps in front of me and blocks me from the man’s view. Words were said, but I lost them in the uproar of the crowd. Tension fills the air as both men have their chests puffed, waiting for the other to make the first move. The bartender yells at them to take it outside. Daniel throws two-hundred-dollar bills on the bar, grabs my hand, and drags me towards the exit. Once we’re outside in the cool night air, Daniel releases my hand and begins to pace back and forth on the sidewalk in front of me. I lean up against the brick of the exterior wall to steady myself. I hear someone sniffle next to me, but when I look around, nobody is there. Daniel must have heard it too because he stopped his pacing. He walked right up to me and wiped both of his thumbs under my eyes and across my cheeks as he cradled my head in his hands.

“Shh, don’t cry” he murmurs softly to me. I hadn’t realized I had been crying, but when he said that the dam burst open. He pulled me close to his chest and I let my broken sobs soak his shirt. His hand rubs my bath in soothing circles, caressing me delicately. He whispers sweet nothings to me; telling me it’ll be okay and to just get it out. As my sobs slow to trickling tears, I play through what just happened. Horror and fear bubble inside me. I shove Daniel back suddenly and collapse to the ground, pulling my knees to my chest. I didn’t care how stupid I looked or how exposed I was; I just had to get out of his arms. My heart beat fast and my breaths quickened. I tried to calm myself down but the hysteria I felt suffocated me. I couldn’t breathe. Here I was, sitting here feeling half naked, having a panic attack in front of Daniel. He crouched down in front of me, careful not to touch me, as I clutched my chest, hoping that would make the pain stop.

“Focus on your breathing. Take slow, deep breaths” he told me. He repeated that over and over, but the words eventually grew quieter and sounded further away. He disappeared from my vision. If I didn’t calm down, I was going to pass out. Great, I thought, he saw how big of a freak I am and left. Not even a minute later, he returned with a brown paper bag. He handed it to me, and I took it. After a few minutes, I calmed down enough, but kept the bag there to avoid the questions. As we sit in silence, I berate myself for acting that way. I embarrassed myself in front of the only guy I had every liked. I mentally kicked myself for that one. Eventually, Daniel breaks the silence.

“Are you okay?” he asks. I take a deep, steadying breath before I answer.

“Not really,” I say truthfully, “but I’m better. I’m sorry.” I whisper that last part in humiliation. He twists his body to give me his full attention.

“You have no reason to be sorry. That guy was an ass. I’m the one who should be sorry” he says looking guilty. The most unexpected thing happens next. I laugh. He stares at me thoroughly confused.

“Why are you sorry?” I ask after my inappropriate reaction settles.

“I shouldn’t have acted that way in the bar. He pissed me off when he called you a…” he trails off not wanting or needing to say the next word. “And then the way he was looking at you, like he was seconds away from forcing himself on you…” he pauses, closing his eyes. He takes a breath before continuing, “And when I saw you crying…all I wanted to do was make it go away. Then you pushed me back, clearly not wanting me to touch you. It was MY touch that made you have a panic attack. I wanted to protect you, but I hurt you instead. So, I’m sorry for all of it.”

Silence falls, once again, between us as we stare into each other’s eyes. I feel the weight of his words on me as I realize how my reaction had hurt him. For the first time ever, I wanted to tell someone about my past. I debate with myself about whether or not to tell him. As I’m about to spill my guts right here on the sidewalk, he stands up and offers me his hand.

“Let’s go back inside. I’m sure Katie is wondering where you’re at.” I take his hand, but as he starts to walk back inside, I pull him to stop.

“Do you mind taking me home instead? I don’t really feel like going in there right now” I ask nervously.

“Sure,” he sighs, “you should text Katie and let her know. I don’t want to give her another reason to hate me,” he says with a sad smile. He still has a hold of my hand as he leads me to the parking lot. He pulls his keys from his pocket and presses the unlock button. Lights on a sleek black jeep shines as the car beeps. I chuckle to myself as he opens the door for me because I’ve always wanted a jeep.

As he drives us back to my apartment, he focuses on the road and I stare out the window. The soft air from the heater wraps me in a blanket of warmth and comfort. I hum softly to the music playing, not caring about the lyrics, just letting myself feel the calmness of the melody. When the music cuts out, I realize we’re already parked outside my apartment. I look over at him, I see him with his eyes closed, smiling.

“Why are you smiling?” I ask.

“There’s just something about your voice,” he says, placing a hand over his heart. “It soothes me, making me forget about life for a while.” With that, he gets out of the car and comes around to open my door. He helps me out and walks me to the door. Neither of us make a move as we wait for the other to say something first. I decide it should be me.

“Will you come inside for a bit?” I ask, not wanting to end the night and not wanting to be alone. He shoves his hands in the front pockets of his jeans, looking uncertain. I see a battle rage on his face as he decides what to do.

“I don’t think I should. It’s getting pretty late” he says. My head hangs as fatigue and defeat rolls through. He probably wants nothing to do with me. I turn away so he can’t see the tears building in my eyes from his rejection. I hear his heavy footsteps as he begins to walk away.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I whisper, not thinking he heard me. His footsteps quiet and I’m sure he’s walked out of hearing range.

“What did you say?” I hear. I turn around to see his back to me.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I speak a little louder, “the way I acted I mean. It wasn’t the way you acted in the bar or because you were holding me. I mean…it was but it wasn’t,” I struggle to explain. “Look, I’m not explaining this right. Please come inside and let me explain it to you.” He slowly walks up to me, reaching to grab my hand but thinks better of it.

“Are you sure?” he asks. I smile at him and take his hand.

“Yes, I’m sure.” I unlock the door and lead a man inside my apartment for the first time.