A Certain Perchance

The Merger

The office was agog with the big news. Winicker Ayliff Loh and Partners has been chosen as one of the four law firms to be involved in merging two of the country's biggest local banks. The merger has been ordered by no less than the country's head of state, His Majesty, the Sultan himself, and it has created ripples of excitement in the banking industry. The merger, they were told, was to be expedited and completed in three months. No more, no less. Everyone said that it would be challenging, but nobody said that it could not be done. The groundwork has been laid out for the four law firms and everyone geared for the work ahead.

After much deliberation, management announced the lawyers and the staff working on the significant project. It seemed like a great orchestra layout with the retired partner, Adrian Loh, four partners including Kevin, six senior associates including Ben, ten junior associates headed by Carl, and senior staff with Caren and Cyd on top of the list. It represented great prestige for the firm and forthcoming weeks of late nights and tons of research and paperwork. Happy days were coming, indeed!

Everyone included in the list of lawyers and staff for the ambitious project was told to head to the office's main meeting room. The firm had seven meeting rooms, excluding an extensive library that can also hold meetings in emergency cases. The grand meeting room had a long rectangular table that can seat twenty-two people with ample space for additional chairs to be placed at the back area if the need ever arises. It was massive and austere looking in earth tone colors allowed by the partners, as there was a certain charm to its intimidating ambiance.

However, for that particular day, one could smell the excitement around. The Christmas holidays were looming, and what better way to anticipate it than completing a significant project with everyone expecting substantial bonuses to take home to their families.

Cyd and Caren were the first to enter the room, and they quickly chose seats at the far end of the table, reserving the front end for the partners and senior associates. They were waiting for Carl to join them, already discussing their new workload's possible impact on their schedules. They made plans to go back to Manila for the holidays, and, depending on the merger's progress by that time, Caren and Cyd were already considering rebooking options.

Suddenly, Carl slammed his body down on a chair across Caren and complained about a difficult client who kept him 30 minutes longer than necessary, re-explaining the contract. However, the air of excitement was contagious, and shortly, Carl was back to his cheerful self.

“Who's with me to continuing this celebration right after work later?" Carl asked expectantly.

"Not me. My laundry has piled up and will need to be back to Cinderella mode at the stroke of 6 pm later," Caren grimaced.

“So, would you be okay to just celebrating with me, Counsel?" Cyd looked at Carl, smiled beguilingly as the thought of not going straight home after work seemed tempting.

“Dear, you got a date! Meet you at Jo's at 5:30 later, okay? By the way, Cyd, you look hotter than usual. Is that a new blouse? Red loves you, Dear. You are glowing!"

The room started filling up with the firm's top people, and Cyd noticed Ben entering and looking around as if looking for a place to sit. He then caught Cyd's eyes and slowly walked towards them, looking at her.

Ben then shifted his eyes to Carl and asked him a question. They started discussing something about books, and Ben sat next to Carl, directly across Cyd.

Caren whispered to Ben across the table, “Ben, I think you need to be seated somewhere over there, you know… VIPs – Very Involved Peguam belas."

Caren laughed at her own newly coined word, followed by Carl joining in. Cyd was looking at Ben, wondering whether he was deep in thought or he wanted to talk to her as he just kept on looking at her without saying anything.

“I can hear everything from here too. Almost all the seats are taken over there anyway." Ben replied.

They saw Kevin come into the room and waved at Cyd, who stood up quickly to go over to her boss. Kevin gestured to Cyd to take the seat next to him. Cyd looked at her friends, made a sad face but quickly took her place beside her boss.

Ben looked at the front end of the table, stood up, and went to the seat opposite Cyd and Kevin. He sat down and started chatting with Chandra Mahajan, senior litigation associate, seated across Kevin.

"So much for 'I can hear everything from here too.' He immediately left us when he saw Chandra over there. That's fickleness there, huh?" Carl pointed out drily.

Caren shushed him and said that they were better off being away from the madding crowd. She had a feeling that this was going to be a long meeting.

As soon as the meeting started, Ben folded his hands on top of the table and looked at Cyd. He easily contributed to the conversations around him when there was a need and would lift his gaze off Cyd for a few seconds, then continued to look at her after he stopped talking. It was as if he was concentrating on the conversation around him while his eyes remained fixed on Cyd's face.

Cyd tried hard to concentrate on the notes that she was making for the meeting but felt disconcerted by Ben's steady gaze on her. She looked at him once and raised her eyebrows as if asking him if there was a problem, but he gave no sign that he even saw what she did.

She looked around them to see if anyone else noticed Ben's strange behavior, but everyone was intently engrossed on the subject of the merger. She looked at Ben again and saw his eyes still on her. For a few seconds, as she became confused herself, she found herself returning Ben's eyes on her. She noticed a certain sadness, bewilderment, aloofness, and even a little anger in his eyes. Maybe if she came a little closer, she would be able to fathom the emotions that she was starting to see in his eyes. Maybe ...

“Cyd?" Kevin's voice broke her thoughts. “Did you get all of that?"

Embarrassed, Cyd turned to her notes, feeling that she must have drifted off somewhere. She quickly looked at Ben and found him talking to Chandra, who was on his right, again. Suddenly, she felt stupid and presumptuous.

“Remember to prepare the timeline for this engagement and keep everyone on board with it." Kevin was again talking to her. “How often should we have it updated?"

"Weekly should be good, just right for everyone to be reminded before weekends," Ben said.

Cyd looked at Ben, and again, his eyes were back on her. She silently mouthed the words 'Thank you' and saw what seemingly looked like a smile forming on Ben's lips, but that did not happen, or did she imagine it?

Her hands automatically went to her cheeks as she felt hot and flushed while trying to concentrate on her notes.

After the meeting, Cyd went to her office and started preparing the proposed work timeline. Afterward, she gave a copy to Kevin for his approval. Kevin looked at it and told her to provide a copy to Ben for his comments. Biting her lip, she proceeded to Ben's office.

-----

“Ben, Kevin wants you to take a look at the proposed timeline. Let me know if I could start giving copies around, okay?"

Ben took the copy and studied the paper she handed him. Cyd turned to leave the room when she heard Ben's voice.

“Do you think it's possible?"

Cyd turned around again and seriously considered his question.

“Am not sure. What about you? Surely, you've experienced something like this before, haven't you?

“No, I have not … experienced something like this before. This is the first time that I've felt unsure about something."

Cyd nodded in understanding.

“Yeah, I guess no one has gone through something like this before. We are already pressed for time."

“Time?" Ben mused. “You think time is the problem? What if we could somehow take it out of the equation, then maybe it could be possible?"

Confused, Cyd looked at Ben carefully and answered.

“Time is the problem; we only have three months to do this."

“What if we don't have to?"

“W-what? H-how? What exactly are you saying here?"

Suddenly, Cyd started to feel annoyed, first with herself, then with Ben. What is he talking about? Her tone was incredulous when she asked him,

“We are talking about the same merger, right?"

Ben lowered his gaze slowly, shook his head as if clearing his thoughts, then looked at Cyd.

“Y-yes, we are. Sorry Cyd, I was thinking of something else."

“No worries. It's almost five anyway. Why don't you call it a day, Counsel? You don't look so well."

Ben nodded and bowed his head, again deep in thought.

After Cyd closed the door behind her, Ben mumbled to himself, “I was talking about a different merger."

-----

Back in her office, Cyd started pacing the room.

Ben was acting strange today, and she was sure that his eyes were on her almost throughout the meeting. Why? She thought.

Furthermore, what were they talking about back there in his office? He sounded as if he was asking about something entirely different from what she had in her mind.

She forced herself to get the uneasy feeling off her, but she could still feel his eyes on her. Finally, even with the thought of being brusquely dismissed by Ben again, she realized that she had to go back to his office. She needed to see Ben and ask him the questions that would not quit in her mind.

Feeling sure of what she needed to do, she pulled open her door and was ready to march back into Ben's office when she saw them. Together.

About to enter the lift, Cyd saw Jin Hee first followed by Ben, head bowed. Picture perfect. The loving wife, possibly feeling that her husband was out of sorts, decided to pick him up from work. The adoring husband meekly followed his wife behind.

“So, this is what it feels like…" Cyd said aloud.

“What feels like what, Girl?" Caren, who came up behind her, asked.

Cyd, still looking at Ben and Jin Hee going inside the lift, said, "…to be doused by ice-cold water in the face."