A Certain Perchance

Cyd sighed as she closed the last box containing her things, checking her watch only to realize that she did not notice how fast time flew as it was almost five in the afternoon. She took a look around her office, where every nook and corner bore witness to her struggles and successes. She felt deep sadness engulf her. Looking back at the last few years, the last four to be exact and Cyd wondered at how everything seemed to have happened just a few hours earlier. She can vividly recall every incident, moment, and time her heart felt ready to burst with different but intense emotions. It went up like slides shown before her; her terrifying brush with death trapped inside her car in rushing floodwaters, getting engaged inside a police precinct, the mind-blowing romance with a billionaire, and losing her heart to someone she can only have in her dreams. She survived it all and it was time to move on and hopefully, not look back again. Her eyes continued to search for something familiar around the place, not knowing what she was looking for at all. Well, she was going to miss this place, all the friends she has made, the feeling of peace the place gives to its residents and even to its long-staying guests. Brunei Darussalam – the Abode of Peace. And she would be leaving for good. Instinctively, she reached for her folder to check if her ticket was there, smiling when she saw it nestled safely inside. "Of course," She said to her herself. Did she expect it to disappear and delay her flight back home? At 30 years of age, Cyd is your typical Filipino woman, standing at 160 cm and with a full figure maintained by daily runs around the neighborhood; she has her special allure and was quite attractive. Her exceptional charm came from discovering her niche in the world, powered by confidence and knowledge that she was on the right track in her personal and professional life. She looked more like a Chinese person with her slanted, almond-shaped eyes, which looked more pronounced when she is startled or when deep in thought. Her fair skin and unblemished face belied her true age as even without make-up, she looked quite eye-catching and youthful. Cyd believed in an easy and low-maintenance beauty regimen, thus kept her tresses short and free from styling gels and salon fix-ups. Her phone rang, and instinctively knowing who was calling her, she mustered patience in her tone before answering. "Cyd Lina here. Can I help you?" "So, have you finished your packing?" Her mom's voice was warm and anxious at the same time. "Make sure you are at the airport two or maybe even three hours before your time of departure, okay?" "Ma, yes, like you called early this morning to remind me and even followed it up with a text message," Cyd replied, rolling her eyes upward. "Well…" her mother persisted. "It does not hurt to remind you. With all the things you need to do, I am just making sure…" "Oh Ma, my other phone is ringing, call you later. Okay?" "Are you cutting me off again?" Her mom asked suspiciously. "Love you, Ma! Call you later?" She quickly hung up the phone and made a mental note to call her again later that evening. Still smiling, she put the phone down, and a familiar face appeared at her doorway. "Hello, soon-to-be-ex-colleague. All set for tomorrow?" Cyd turned to look at her friend, Caren's smiling face. Walking towards her, Cyd still wondered how, after giving birth to two sons, Caren kept her svelte figure easily without any regular exercise or physical activity on the side. But while Cyd loved to binge occasionally, Caren was a picky eater and preferred salad over anything at any given time. Caren looked at Cyd closely and lowered her voice a notch. "He is looking for you. Did you get his messages? Or have you stopped checking the local email box, now?" Caren said with a raised eyebrow. "Turning your back on us so soon, eh?" Cyd smiled weakly. She has seen the messages, all 23 of them sitting unread in her email inbox. She knew that she would need to see him before the day ended and tried putting off the chore at the final… Chore? What chore? More of duty, no, more of a basic need. She shook her head and tried to focus on what her friend was saying. "… and told him that you might have gone out to settle your business with the banks and Immigration Department, but you should be back soon," Caren continued, pretending not to notice her friend's silence. "I already spoke with Kevin," Cyd answered quietly. "Silly goose! I meant Ben, not Kevin," Caren shot back. Kevin Chan, a Chinese Bruneian, was one of the firm's Senior Partners and Cyd's boss. "Oh, .... Ben." Cyd feigned confusion. "You know who I was referring to, don't give me that look," Caren said. "You know you can't get out of some tight spaces that easily. Goodbyes need to be said, and now is a good time as any. Time to break someone's heart." Cyd shot her friend a mean look but nodded. "I suppose you're right." Cyd started to move. "Then, should I get along now? Get this thing out of the way?" Caren clapped her on the back. "A bitter pill, gulp it down with water! We're still on for dinner tonight, right?" Cyd nodded her head without looking back at her. "Dinner with Carl and Sonny is also joining us. Oh, and don't worry, we'll be paying." Caren shot back. "Can't have a soon-to-be unemployed friend picking the tabs, right?" Cyd felt nervous as she made her way to Ben's room. She always felt excited to go to his office, albeit she was always at a loss on where their conversations would end up. She has always looked forward to seeing him, being in the same room as he was in and within his direct line of sight. Things have started turning into a different and possibly dangerous path for them both. That was exactly why she had decided to resign and leave Brunei permanently. She stopped when he reached his office and wondered if she should knock, but that would confuse him as she has never knocked when going into any of the offices in the firm. Why start now? She would be gone tomorrow. She slowly opened the door and put on her most brilliant smile on display. "Hello there, Ben!" She walked in, stood there, and tried to take in everything about this man that she would never see again. She felt her heart racing and almost jumping out from her throat at the mere sight of him. Ben, slowly raising his head from his computer, looked at Cyd carefully and leaned back on his chair. "23," He said quietly. "Just counted how many messages I sent, since this morning, to one person. All unread till this time. Would you have any idea why?" "Oh, come on now, Counsel." Cyd went to the chairs across his table and sat down. "Surely, you did not think that I would be interested in any additional work before I go. I was busy clearing my things, saying goodbyes, and doing other girlie things that I need to finish today," she quipped. "Were you in my office earlier today?" Ben asked as he leaned forward at his table. "Is this how you intend to say goodbye to me by leaving me a car freshener tucked under my desk calendar?" "Wrong!" She replied lightly. "I placed it under your calendar late last night, as I had to work late clearing my things. I was hoping you'd see it a few days after I've gone." Cyd started to look at her hands intently, pretending that she did feel his intent gaze on her. "Cyd," he said softly. "Look at me. I'm only going to say this once, so please look at me. "She slowly lifted her face to look at him. "Don't go, please." Cyd slowly shook her head. "I can't. I need to do this. It's part of my best-laid plans to go back and jumpstart my career back home." And suddenly, Ben was on his feet, coming around the table to sit opposite her. He took both of Cyd's hands in his own. "I can make it better for you here." Ben continued. "I can't say anything at this point, but I know I can make everything work out. You need to be here, by my side. Please." Cyd raised her eyes to meet his, cleared her throat, and said flippantly, "Counsel, be careful. People might hear us and think that I report to you directly. Kevin would be very disappointed if he hears you say things like that." She started to get up when Ben also stood up. "Can I, at least, take you to dinner tonight?" "I have plans for tonight, Counsel; I'm sorry." Cyd smiled. "This is goodbye and thank you… for everything. For the support, the friendship, and everything else. Goodbye." "I… I just don't quite know how to let you go. I don't quite know. I mean, I…like, I can't seem to…" "You'll know. This time tomorrow, and we will both know how to let go. Take care, Ben." Cyd went into his arms to hug him. His arms closed around her, and she tiptoed to give him a friendly kiss on the cheek, but suddenly, Ben turned his face, and their lips met. It started as an accident, but Ben pressed his lips onto hers, but she struggled and pushed him away. She was startled, not quite sure how it happened that fast but that this particular scene was not that unfamiliar to her. Did she will it to happen? "It's not friendship that's between us, Cyd," Ben pleaded, slowly walking towards her. "Stay by my side." Not wanting to hear another word, Cyd dashed out of the office, berating herself for her actions and, yes, thoughts. She was leaving the country to prevent such a thing from happening, and before she knew it, they kissed on her last day in the office. She did not hear Caren calling after her. All she knew was that she had to get out of the building, or she just might really miss her flight the next day. She grabbed her bag, ran down the stairs, got into her car, and drove away. She started shaking her head, trying to get her thoughts in order. She suddenly noticed that she could not see clearly, and the road ahead looked blurred. It was then she realized that tears were already running down her cheeks.