Secret Affairs

FIVE

Lately, everything had been feeling off. My timed meals had been recurring more often, I could blame Nathaniel for that. I’d been having lunch with him every day for the last couple of weeks. Janet would order food for us and we’d eat in the conference room, but never in one of our offices. That just felt incredibly intimate, and it reminded me of having lunch with Daniel. 

Sometimes we would sit and eat in silence, and other times we argued about random things. Conversation always felt light, it was fun.

“You can’t be serious,” I questioned him. We were currently debating the validity of The Vampire Diaries. I didn’t remember how it got brought up, but it was hilarious when he outed himself as a fan.

He shook his head unfazed by my laughter. I was bent over clutching my stomach trying not to choke on the chicken I was trying to swallow. Janet was scowling unapprovingly from her desk, but I didn’t care. I was genuinely enjoying myself for the first time in weeks.  “No doubt The Originals is better than The Vampire Diaries,” he argued.

Once I stopped laughing and made sure I was safe from choking I turned my attention back to him. “How do you even know that?”

“You forget I have three sisters,” he defended himself. It somewhat explained his passion for the franchise. All three of them were younger than him, and eventually he might catch one of them watching an episode.

I didn’t believe it though. “That doesn’t explain how you have a strong opinion.” He would have had to watch every season of it and then watch The Originals as well. He actually reminded me of Klaus. Nathaniel was incredibly charming when he wanted to be, competitive as hell, and very temperamental. And I got all that from our first meeting.

“Sometimes I would watch an episode, or two with Poppy,” he explained with a shy smile. Poppy was his youngest sister, and close to my age. Apparently he was closer and more overprotective of her since she was the youngest. The other two sisters were more likely to go off on their own and ignore what he had to say anyways.

“Wow, Nathaniel Peters watched a teen girl drama,” I joked. It was actually endearing that he did this one thing for his baby sister. He must have been in college when she was in her vampire love phase.

“You can call me Nate,” he corrected me.

He caught me off guard by offering me his nickname. I didn’t know if it was appropriate or not, so I simply nodded. Nathaniel gave me a sweet smile causing me to blush furiously that I had to chug down my water just so I had something to do.

I now realized that I traded one relationship for another. The time I had been spending with Daniel had now become nonexistent. I was hurt and I had been avoiding Daniel by sending time with Peters. What the hell was I doing?

Over the weekend, I had been cleaning every spot in my apartment. I cleaned when I was stressed, or when I just needed to think. The doorbell rang bringing me out of my all-consuming reverie.

When I opened the door, I was surprised to see Daniel standing on the other side. He gave me a tightlipped smile and I held the door open for him to walk in. I wasn’t sure what he wanted, but I knew that I couldn’t continue this. We would just end up hurting one another, and I didn’t want to do that to him.

“Ro, I—” he started at the same time I opened my mouth to speak, wanting to get everything out, but I didn’t know what to say. “Just let me finish okay?” he pleaded. I shoved all my doubts deep down and waiting for him to continue.

Daniel hesitated at first, his grey eyes stormed into a raging see. I missed when he didn’t look at me like I broke him, like I was the cause for his pain. We had fun at first, but now everything was so complicated.

“I love you,” he blurted out. “I always had, and now we aren’t even speaking.” It took me a minute to process his confession. Sam was right. She had been right all along. “I’m sorry for not telling you everything I knew, but you have to understand that I couldn’t. I’m not making excuses, but I want you to know that I would never deliberately hurt you.”

 “I’ve already forgiven you for that keeping my father’s secret Daniel, it’s just that…” I didn’t know how to continue. How was I supposed to tell this man that was willing to give me everything that I couldn’t give him half of what he deserved.

Daniel took a few steps closer to me, but I stepped back shaking my head. “I told you I can’t,” I cried. I was specific as to what this was. I told him I could never do more. That I wasn’t capable of that. And now he’d gone and forced me to want him just so I could shatter everything.

“So that’s it?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” But obviously that was definitely the wrong thing to say. He looked hurt by my response. I didn’t know what he was expecting from me, but he thought I was better than I was.

Tears began to spring from my eyes, and I tried to stop them. I couldn’t even look at him I was so ashamed. My hands instinctively tried to wipe them all away, but Daniel pulled them away. He held my chin up forcing me to look at him.

There was an unspoken message that passed between us. We both knew what it was, but we refused to give it life.

Daniel’s lips were on me in an instant, soft and sweet. My hands held his face close not wanting him to disappear and he responded by snaking one arm around my waist while his other hand cradled my head. I didn’t want to let go, but I knew I had to. Deep down, we both knew this was goodbye.

When we both let go, knowing we had to stop but knowing it would never be enough, all I could do was let him hold me. Daniel was too good, he deserved better. I laid my head on his chest as he held me tight and his fingers raked through my curls.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give you what you deserve,” I whispered. I couldn’t stop the torrent of tears streaming down my face. Daniel didn’t respond, I pulled away from him in order to see his face. His eyes met mine and I knew this was it. He leaned down and kissed my forehead. Without another word, he walked out of my apartment, softly shutting the door behind him.

He left me standing in my living room alone and broken. e left me As much as it hurt, I knew it was for the best. I just had to keep telling myself that until I believed it.

The rest of the day, I couldn’t stop thinking about what Daniel said. Now I was furious, and the only person I wanted to blame was my father. I was getting nowhere in my investigation. There was only one option left, but every time I thought of picking up the phone, I was encompassed by a raging fire.

I knew that the only way that I would be able to speak to him was if I went to see him, because every time I tried picking up the phone, I put it back down.

I stormed into his house, looking for him everywhere. I wasn’t able to find him until one of the housekeepers told me he was taking a meeting in his office. Rushing towards his office, Delilah tried to stopping me from forcing my way in, but I was sick and tired of everything he had started. If I didn’t confront him now, then I wouldn’t at all.

“How could you?!” I screamed as soon as I burst through the doors. Delilah slinked her way back not wanting to be a part of this s**t storm.

There was a man sitting across from him, and they both looked at me like I was a feral animal. He had a guest but I didn’t care. He would have to deal with me eventually, and he was lucky there was only one other person here.

“Rowan, please do come in,” he said sarcastically. He waved his hand towards another chair, trying to get me to settle down. I knew his tactics, he would get me to simmer down, and then turn it around on me like I was the problem.

I refused to allow that to happen. “You knew this entire time and you’ve been keeping secrets. First the merger and now I find out that you knew someone was steal—”

“Rowan!!” My father roared slamming his palms on his desk before I could finish. The other man seemed unfazed, in fact he seemed to find this amusing. His green eyes glint with delight. Who the hell was this?

My father turned to the man. “Please excuse us,” he told him.

The man excused himself in a Scottish accent. I had never seen him before in my life, and I didn’t know even know that my father was acquainted with any Scots. But then again apparently I didn’t know much about my father. How many other secrets was he keeping from me.

Once the man was gone, my father pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily. “I presume Daniel told you?”

“Don’t blame this on him, he’s just doing his job,” I defended Daniel. He hadn’t told me until my father had left the company, so he couldn’t question his loyalties either.

“And it has nothing to do with the fact that you two are sleeping together?” he shouted.

“I— what?” I couldn’t even muster up enough words to refute his claim. He caught me off guard, and I had no clue that he knew about what was happening between Daniel and I. To be fair, we weren’t always the most inconspicuous, but we also never allowed it to affect our work. Now that he was chalking up Daniel’s confession to our relationship only further angered me.

My father chuckled lowly and sat back down in his chair. He was finding this all to entertaining. Not only did he screw me over in this deal, but he kept vital information from me, then forced Daniel to keep it as well. My father was the beginning of our demise. “I’m not as old as you think. I know a lot of things happening around me.”

I focused back on why I was really here. I wasn’t here to talk about my failed relationships, or the fact that I was more screwed up than I thought. My therapist could deal with that s**t. Right now, I needed to focus on the company. It was the only thing keeping me afloat. “Stop trying to change the subject! Who is it? You know, I know you do,” I asked him demanding answers.

“I do, and it is none of your concern,” he replied without a missed step. This was planned. My father knew I would eventually come to him asking him to tell me everything.

“I hate every single one of you!” I screamed. I felt like crying, letting him know how deeply all this was hurting me, but I couldn’t. I was all dried out.

He gave me an arrogant grin that I wanted to slap off. “Who does that include?”

“You! Daniel! f*****g Nathaniel Peters! You’re all keeping secrets from me!” I was furious, and I was no longer holding back. All this rage was consuming me and if I didn’t let it out I would be burned alive.

My father went back to organizing some documents around his desk, but didn’t look at me directly in the ye. He was dismissing me. “Because you shouldn’t have to deal with it,” he argued back.

“Because I’m weak.” I had already known what he thought of, but it was abundantly clear now. Every time he looked at me he was only reminded of the woman who left him because she couldn’t handle a child. Now I was suffering the consequences of her actions.

He shook his head and finally looked up at me. “Because you’re better than us. Better than we’ll ever be,” he muttered. I wanted to believe him, to believe that he thought I was worth it, to think that I was more than what he made me out to be. But deep down inside I knew he was lying; he was just trying to quell the raging sea within.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” he questioned me confused.

I scoffed. This was a f*****g joke and I was finally exhausted. “Don’t act like you were doing this for my benefit. I know you. You don’t do anything unless you’re the one that comes out winning. So, I have to ask, are you the one taking the money?”

He laughed mirthlessly as if what I had said was something to joke about, as if there weren’t millions being embezzled. “Of course not. I have money to spare without funneling money out of the company,” he told me.

“But you won’t tell me who it is. Are they still doing it?” I had to know if this was still happening. I couldn’t allow it to continue under my watch, I would look like a fool for allowing it. There would be plenty of blame to go around once the FBI got ahold of the case.

“Don’t worry about that, it’s being handled.”

“By who?!”

“Don’t worry about that either.”

He had to be joking. He was still willing to keep his mouth shut even though he knew I could take the fall for this. That Daniel and Nate could take the fall with me. “If you don’t tell me everything, I swear to god I’m walking out of here and never coming back. I deserve to know,” I threatened him.

“This is for the best,” my father responded. My threats were empty, but he was willing to let me go and that hurt so much more than when he lied to me.

I couldn’t stop my voice from quaking. He was right I was weak because one bad word from daddy and I was ready to fall to pieces. “You’re willing to let me walk out just to protect someone who is stealing from you?”

“There are a lot of things I’ve been willing to do lately,” he said without a hint of remorse. He was really ready to lose me. His own daughter. Even though he never treated me like one, I still expected him to have some sort of alliance to me even if it was just out of duty.

“What does that even mean?!”

“It means you need to leave Rowan.”