ONE MORE TRY

Chapter 5

Joshua

I sat in my office, lost in thought. I was technically supposed to be working, but I was also the boss, so it wasn't as if anyone was going to scold me for being a little late. There wasn't anything urgent, either, or I wouldn't be so relaxed.

How are they doing? Is she still there?

Today was the day Alessandra would have shown up at Wendy's house to babysit my little cousin.

Should I have been there?

I had hoped her doing this would create opportunities for us to meet, but it couldn't happen too quickly, either. I wanted to be there when she went, but if she'd seen me, she might have thought she was set up.

In the end, I decided not to go there and wait for her, because I trusted Wendy.

She and Alessandra were close, so I doubted she would tell me everything they talked about, but she would at least help me a little. Wouldn't she?

There was a knock on my door, and I looked up, startled out of my thoughts.

"Come in," I called.

The door opened, and my secretary walked in. "Sir, do you need me for something else today? I have a bit of an emergency at home, so I'd like to leave early today."

"Oh." I already knew about her special circumstances. I checked the time on my watch and winced. "It's fine; you can go ahead. I'll be leaving soon after you anyway. I hope everything goes well at home."

"Thank you, sir," she said.

With a nod, she turned and left, closing the door behind her.

I stared at the door for a minute, then let out a heavy sigh. I hadn't realized how much time had passed already. I had also gotten a lot less done for the day than I initially thought I did.

"I better get something done before I go," I muttered to myself.

I might be the boss, but it wasn't right to just slack off.

Half an hour later, I was still in the middle of work when my phone vibrated. I'd left it on my table, right beside my keyboard, where it had stayed pretty much since I walked into my office this morning. I had hoped to get some news from Wendy already, but I'd given up over an hour ago. It was a little late now; I didn't think she'd leave her baby for so long, no matter how much she complained about having no time to herself, I knew she didn't need too much of it if it meant being away from both her husband and son for too long.

I picked up the phone and was surprised when I saw Alessandra's name on the screen instead.

Why is she calling?

As I wondered, I answered the call and put the phone to my ear.

"Hello? Alessandra?"

"Joshua, sorry to call if you're still in the office," she said.

I couldn't tell what the call was about through her tone. She sounded casual, but no emotion came through in her voice. I made my tone pleasant and leaned back into my chair to reply.

"It's fine, it's past work hours, anyway. I'm almost done with work, anyway, I'll be leaving the office soon. Was there something you wanted?"

"Do you want to go out for a drink?" she asked, then paused. She corrected, "I mean, would you like to? If you're not too busy. Maybe around six thirty?"

I glanced at my watch, still surprised at the sudden invitation. The time she suggested wasn't so long away.

Why is she calling to ask me out to a drink?

As much as I should have been happy about the invite, it was still damn weird. Especially because Alessandra never used to drink. When I went out to bars and clubs with my friends, I rarely ever took her along because I knew she didn't like it. And now she was asking me to go out to a bar?"

"Sure," I agreed.

Just because it was a little weird, didn't mean I was going to say no.

"Where should I meet you?"

"Um, do you remember that bar..."

She started to speak, but let her voice trail off. I smiled a little, wondering if she remembered all the history we had together. We might not have gone together often, but she knew where I liked to go. I wanted her to think about it as much as possible. If she thought of me and everything we'd been through before, it might give me a higher chance of getting through to her.

"Let me just text you the address," Alessandra said finally. "I'll meet you there at six thirty?"

"Of course. I'll see you."

She cut the call, and I pulled the phone from my ear. I stared at it for a moment, then it vibrated. I checked the address she'd texted me and smiled. It was a bar I knew, though I hadn't been there in a while. I was too busy, and when I wasn't working, I was with Mom or Rachel. In fact, I couldn't remember the last time I called my old friends out for a drink.

"So nostalgic," I sighed to myself.

It wasn't so far from the office. There wasn't much left of the document I was reviewing, so I went through the rest of it quickly, and as efficiently as possible. It would be pointless if I made any mistakes, after all. I was running a huge company that could topple down over a few misplaced zeros.

Once I was done, I jumped out of my chair. I collected my stuff and waited for my computer to finish logging off - safety first. The moment it was done, I left my office. Only two people had a key to my office, and that was my secretary and me. I locked the door behind me and hurried my way out. In minutes, I was in my car, and I drove for the bar.

It was a short trip. It wasn't far, to begin with, and there wasn't much traffic, either. I wondered if I was supposed to wait outside for her, or if she was already inside? I'd arrived on the dot, and I didn't know if she'd be late or not.

Instead of asking, I walked into the bar and looked around. I felt relieved when I did see her, then I smiled and walked over to her table.

"Hey," I called. "Sorry if I made you wait."

She looked up and smiled at me. It was a bit reserved, but the smile was genuine.

"It's fine, I only just got here myself, and I was about to text you. Please, sit down."

She waved a hand at the seat opposite her, and I took it. The lighting in the bar was a bit dark, and there was some music on, but not too loud. We spent a few awkward moments, each waiting for the other to start but neither knowing what to say. Before we managed to speak, a waitress came up to our table.

"Good evening, my name is Mary, and I'll be your server tonight. Are you two ready to order?"

I arched an eyebrow at Alessandra, and she turned to the waitress.

"I'll just have a coke, please..."

"Then I'll have the same," I added.

"Zero, normal, light?"

Alessandra said, "Zero."

The waitress wrote it down, then walked away.

Once we were left alone again, the silence returned.

Dammit.

"So, how was your day?" I asked quickly. "I mean, you stopped by Wendy's and looked after my little cousin. I hope he didn't give you any trouble?"

"Oh, not at all," she answered just as quickly. "He was a total sweetheart. And it was nice getting to see and talk to Wendy after so long."

"What did you guys talk about?"

I was latching onto whatever topic that would keep the conversation going, but the moment I said it, I knew I'd made a mistake. Alessandra didn't reply for a long time, blinking at me. It took a minute, then I smiled.

"Ah, sorry. I'm prying, aren't I? It's none of my business what you guys talk about. I'm happy you finally met again, though. She was always asking me about you, and she wanted you to be there at the wedding..."

She nodded slowly. "I am sorry I missed it. She showed me the photos. It looked amazing."

That could have been us.

The thought jumped into my mind, unexpectedly. It had been what I felt when I went to Wendy's wedding. Alessandra and I had separated already, and I had wondered then what ours would have been like if I'd asked her to marry me.

Somewhere along the way, did I make a mistake?

I could only vaguely remember the s**t that happened before the break-up. We didn't have a lot of time with each other, because we were both dealing with issues. I felt I had more to deal with than she did, and whenever I thought that I felt ashamed of myself.

After all, my father was ill, and I was dealing with the company, and I'd had to work my schedule to finish college early because of it. Then, there was Mom's disapproval of Alessandra. And later Dad died, and I wanted to see Alessandra so badly but didn't think I could.

I held back so much because I thought everything would be worth it in the end. She would finish school, and I would get the hang of being the company CEO, and we would move on with our lives.

We would be happy.

When did that change?

I wanted to ask. I wanted to ask Alessandra a lot of things, but whether or not she would answer was another thing, and I didn't want to scare her off. This was only our second meeting, and it was already a good sign when she had been the one to ask me out.

Deciding to move on to a different topic, I opened my mouth. Before I could speak, though, the noise in the bar suddenly got louder. More and more people were coming in, and I frowned, realizing other people were finally coming out of work and deciding to have a little fun before they went home.

Alessandra looked sheepish.

"I'm sorry," she said, raising her voice a bit to be heard. "I didn't think it would get this loud. I've never been here around this time, usually a bit earlier or later and it's never been this loud!"

I arched an eyebrow and leaned across the table. She did the same, and I tried not to imagine how intimate the scene would look to any outsiders.

"Do you come here often?" I asked.

She shook her head. "Just a couple times recently. You know I don't drink."

I nodded, already feeling the relief that this much about her hadn't changed. It was hitting me again that we had been apart for fifteen months. While she hadn't started a new romance, gotten married and had some other man's kid, all sorts of things could have happened within that time that I had no idea about.

Would it be safe to ask?

I didn't dare to.

"You can just ignore them. There seems to be a party or something going on. It's not always this rowdy in here."

I watched as she picked up her bottle, and lifted my own as I smiled.

"Come on. We came here to have a good time, right? So let's get to it!"

Her eyebrows went up, but she clinked her bottle against mine and matched my smile.

"That's fine with me," she said.

She seemed to relax after that, and the conversation flowed naturally. I didn't even keep tabs on what we were talking about, just responded when she spoke, laughed and reacted in all the right places. I let the nostalgia flow over me.

There did seem to be some sort of party going on, a couple of groups of people kept yelling, and the music got turned up. It made conversation a little harder, but we each finished our first bottle, and both of us got a second. We had a nice, low buzz going, both of us letting go and speaking of only unnecessary stuff.

We stopped at the second bottle. She needed to go home, and so did I. I already knew I wouldn't be driving. I could hold my liquor well, but there was no point in taking stupid risks. If I couldn't get someone to drive me home so I wouldn't have to leave my car behind, then I'd just take a taxi and come back for it in the morning.

I paid the bill, ignoring Alessandra's insistence on paying her share. We stepped out of the bar and stopped at the curb.

"I hope you don't plan on driving back," Alessandra said. "You came with your car, right? Sorry, I should have thought that part through. We could have had a coffee instead or something..."

A smile spread on my face at the thought of her worrying about me.

"It's fine. You asked me for a drink at a bar; I knew what I was getting myself into. And how will you be getting home?"

"Taxi," she said, waving vaguely toward the road.

"Okay," I said.

I dawdled. I didn't know what to say, but I didn't want just to walk away, either. I knew what I wanted to say, but inviting Alessandra back to my place with me might not be the best idea. She stared back at me, seeming in the same situation as me.

"I missed you," I blurted out. I couldn't hold it back anymore. This much should be safe, right?

Alessandra stared at me for a while longer, then smiled.

"I feel the same way, too," she admitted, her voice quiet. "Joshua, I missed you."

I dragged in a harsh breath, feeling an ache in my chest. I so badly wanted to reach out to her and pull her into my arms. I tried to hold her close and never let her go. My eyes dropped to her lips, and I wondered when the last time I kissed her was?

My body went through the motions on its own. Well, no, not on its own; after all, I very much wanted to put my arms around her waist and drag her closer to me, then cup her face with one hand and tilt her face up for a better angle. Alessandra didn't resist. She looked like she wanted exactly what I did. I lowered my head, slowly, keeping my eyes on her.

Her eyes slid closed first, and I closed mine as well as I took her lips in a kiss.

It started out soft, chaste. But that wouldn't be enough for me. My arm around her waist tightening, I pressed harder against her and licked along the seam of her lips. Alessandra opened for me with a gasp, and I let out a groan as I slid my tongue into her mouth to taste her.

Right then, I'd forgotten where we were, right in front of a bar, on the damn street, in the darkening night. People were moving all around us, but I didn't care.

We broke apart after a long moment, breathless. I rested my forehead against hers as I caught my breath.

"That was so sexy," I said in a low groan.

It had been so long since I'd been this close to her. My body couldn't help reacting, and I was half-hard in my pants, from just a kiss. I was tempted to ask her to go back with me now.

Before I could, I felt a light pressure against my chest. Immediately, I froze and opened my eyes. Alessandra was looking up at me, expression apologetic. I took a step back.

"I'm sorry," she said, smiling, though it looked painful. "I just need some time. Is that okay?"

Time for what, I wanted to ask. We've already had time.

"Is there someone else?" I asked.

She shook her head, and I could feel my heart start to relax, but then she paused. Her expression twisted into something strange, and it felt like something was piercing my chest.

"I...guess you could say there is someone else. I'm sorry, Joshua, I have to go."

She turned around and walked away. I wanted to reach my hand out to stop her, but her words were still ringing in my mind.

Someone else?

Who was this person, and what did he have to do with Alessandra? From that kiss alone, I knew she felt the same way that I did.

Who is this new, unexpected threat?

I wanted to know, badly. I intended to find out.