ONE MORE TRY

Chapter 9

Joshua

I woke up a little later than usual and didn't feel like getting out of bed. The reason was the warm body lying across my chest. I knew it was her, but still, when I opened my eyes to see Alessandra had stayed, I couldn't help but smile.

The curtains were closed, but they were light, so I could see her. Besides, it was probably around mid-morning already. Alessandra lay with her cheek pressed to my heart, her hair falling all over my chest. The covers had moved a bit lower, so her back was exposed, and I wanted to reach my hands out to touch. She was still asleep, though, and I didn't want to wake her up.

I did work her hard last night. She fell asleep after our first round, but I couldn't sleep. Once wasn't enough for me, not after our long separation.

Dammit, I sighed to myself. I didn't want to move at all, but nature was calling.

Carefully, I slipped off the bed. I had to move Alessandra, so she was lying beside me instead of on top of me, making sure she didn't wake up in the process. I took a second to make sure she wouldn't wake, then turned and headed for the bathroom.

I was usually comfortable walking around my house naked, but since I had someone over, once I used the bathroom, I found and put on a robe. I moved back to the bedroom, to find Alessandra was still asleep.

Do I wake her or not...?

She looked so peaceful; I decided to leave her alone a bit longer, though I was starting to get a little hungry. I looked around the room and noticed just how messy it was. So, I went around and picked our clothes first to shove them into an empty corner. I pulled my phone from my pants pocket and realized it was late, about fifteen minutes to eleven.

"Is this okay?" I murmured to myself.

She must have told her parents that she was okay and would be spending the night out, but if I let her sleep for much longer, we'd be having lunch instead of breakfast. Wouldn't they be expecting her back? At least it was Sunday, so she probably didn't need to go to her nanny job.

After a while, I decided to leave her alone. I'd go and make breakfast, then come back and check on her. If she still wasn't up, I'd wake her.

I walked out of my room and closed the door quietly behind me, then whistled as I made my way to the kitchen. I lived alone, so I was usually responsible for my meals. I didn't know how to cook in the beginning, but it was a simple thing to pick up a cookbook and find instruction videos online. Mom had been worried about me moving out of the house, but I took care of myself pretty well.

The only thing I had trouble with was housework. I couldn't do it all myself, so I had a cleaning service stop by twice a week to clean around the house for me, but I could do little things on my own. I also had groceries and other stuff I needed to be sent to my house, receiving orders three times a week for the less durable material.

I started with breakfast. I usually went with something simple, but with Alessandra around, I might as well treat her to something a bit special.

In the fridge, I had plenty of meat, so I pulled out the bacon strips and the eggs. There were also some chopped up vegetables I'd received a couple days ago. I had some bread and jelly, and coffee grounds and a coffee machine.

The coffee went first, so I could drink as I continued cooking. I wasn't sure if she'd be into coffee, but there were milk and chocolate as well. I thought of adding pancakes, too, but then figured I'd rather not. If I made too much, we might not be able to finish it all, and I hated to waste food.

Twenty minutes later, I had everything ready. I finished my coffee, then decided it was time to wake Alessandra up before the food went cold.

I made it to the room; only she wasn't on the bed. I would have worried, but I heard water running in the bathroom. She must have been taking a shower.

I'll have to keep the food covered them.

"Alessandra?" I called, moving over to the door.

After a second, the water shut off, and I heard her voice. "Yes?"

"I have breakfast ready, so when you're done, come down and eat, okay?"

"Sure," she called back. "Thanks!"

The water turned back on, and I left her to her shower.

I was about to leave the room when I heard something vibrate, and looked over at the nightstand. It was Alessandra's phone. I debated whether to tell her or ignore it. But it could have been something important, so in the end, I went to check on her phone.

The screen was lit up, showing a missed call from her mom. Hesitantly, I picked the phone up. Maybe I could text her back to wait for a call so she wouldn't be worried. Alessandra had always been close to her parents, and they were still concerned about her. A part of me had been jealous of her close relationship with them. My parents were always busy with other things, and when we were together, they had expectations of me I was expected to meet.

That wasn't to say that I wasn't close to them, but we weren't at the level where I would call, or they would, just to check up on each other, especially once I moved out. When I got the call about Dad being sick after months of silence, it had been a total shock, especially to find out later that he'd been ill for a week, and I was only called when he didn't improve immediately. They didn't even call me for that. They needed someone to look after the company while he was out of commission, and they could only call me.

If there was one regret I had after Dad passed away, it was that we'd lacked the same closeness Alessandra shared with her mom and dad.

Alessandra didn't have a screen lock. I swiped the screen to send the text, only to pause. She'd left her phone on the last chat thread she'd opened. At the top of the chat thread was Mom, who she probably sent that message to previous night.

I didn't mean to read the text. I just skimmed over it, and before I could move away from the chat thread, something caught my eye.

Mom, I won't make it tonight, so keep an eye on Danny for me. I have some breast milk in the cooler in my room; I left it yesterday just in case so be sure to feed him when he's hungry.

"What the fuck..." I muttered to myself.

The water in the shower going off brought me back to my senses. I wondered how long I'd been standing there staring at the message. I'd forgotten all about what I intended to do, and I quickly set the phone down then left the room, still feeling shell-shocked.

I knew better than to let her know I'd seen the text, though. As my mind continued to try and collect itself, I made my way back to the kitchen, served everything on a plate and moved them to the tiny dining table. I covered everything and went to get more coffee for myself.

When Alessandra made her way downstairs, in the same dress from last night with her purse in her hand, I was seated at the table, waiting for her.

"Sorry, did I make you wait long?" she asked with a smile.

I put on a smile. "Not at all. And I don't have anything to do today; I'm more worried about you eating cold food."

"I didn't know you could cook," she said curiously.

"A little breakfast isn't that hard. Come and sit down. What would you like to drink? I have coffee, milk, chocolate and some juice."

She hesitated to sit, but as I stood up, she moved to the table.

"Juice, please," she said. "Apple or orange if you have those."

"Let me get you some orange juice, then."

I moved to the fridge, glad I had my back to her so I could fix my expression. I had practice faking my emotions from work, so I could keep from her that I knew anything. She hadn't told me, so she must have her reasons for keeping this from me.

Is it a secret she should be keeping, though?

While I still didn't know how to feel about what I read, the implications were obvious. I wasn't stupid, so putting the clues together from that short text was easy enough. I had assumed that she was a nanny, and she went along with it, but it was sufficient confirmation that the child was Alessandra's.

A part of me wanted to be angry, but the name in the text jumped at me again, and I felt my lips twitch. In a smile or a frown, I wasn't sure.

I got the juice and moved back to the table with it after picking a glass for her. I knew my expression was stable as I sat back because she just looked at me happily as she uncovered the food.

"Let me know if there's anything else you'd like," I offered.

"What are you talking about? This is a lot already. I'm not sure I'll be able to finish my share, so you might have to help me a little, okay? Besides, I talked to my mom before I came down. I'll need to be home soon, and she'll insist I eat something for lunch."

I nodded absently. "I'll need to drive you back, then...or have my driver drop you off."

"What? No." She refused immediately. "I can just call for a taxi from here; it'll be fine. You might want to use the car or something, later."

She sent another smile my way, then dug into the food. I watched her but didn't forget to eat.

It has to be it then, I thought to myself. Mystery solved.

I thought back to when I asked if she had someone else and she told me she did. The mystery man had to be Danny. The name of her baby that also just happened to be a form of my second, though rarely used name, Daniel.

It had taken me some time to move past the fact that she was a mother to make the connection. I couldn't tell the baby's age because I didn't see him, but since she'd been okay walking outside with the child, he couldn't be that young.

If I thought back to when the baby could have been conceived, it was the only explanation. After last night, and sitting across from her for breakfast, I doubted she'd been with someone else within such a short time. Also, she wasn't the type of person to name someone else's child after her ex, if she had been so bent on forgetting me after leaving me.

Whether or not she still loved me, she at least still had feelings for me.

I smiled, watching her chew happily on her food before she started singing my praises of how good everything was. I chuckled a little, and I felt my emotions shift and relax.

At that moment, I knew what I was feeling. The idea that Alessandra named our son after me, even though she didn't tell me about him, made a warmth grow in my chest.

There was another implication behind it, too. It means she still wants me.