ONE MORE TRY

Chapter 8

Alessandra

I let out a strangled moan, my back arching. One of my hands was pressed against the roof of the limo, the other over Joshua's shoulder, against the seat.

His hands weren't idle either. One of them gripped high up on my thigh underneath my dress, his thumb rubbing the inside of my leg, making me tremble. If I shifted just a little forward, I would feel his touch where I was dying to feel it most. His other hand was pressed against my back, helping keep me steady.

"Alessandra," he sighed against my skin. "Would you come home with me?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but all I could manage was some more gasping.

The top of my dress had been pulled down and off my shoulders. I still had my bra on, but Joshua had tugged the cups underneath my breasts, perking them up. He gently ran his tongue over one n****e, then the other, over and over, teasing.

I'd almost forgotten how good this all felt.

"Do you even have to ask?" I panted out, squirming in his lap.

He hummed. "It wouldn't be nice to make assumptions. And I just want to hear you say it. Alessandra, say you want me to take you home with me."

It sounded like he was commanding me, but he didn't give me time to say the words. I wasn't sure if I would have told them, but I was growing more and more tempted to say yes, to everything.

What the f**k am I even doing?

There was a quiet voice of reason in the back of my mind that was wondering why I was letting Joshua strip me in the back of a limo so we could have s*x. There was a partition between the front seat and the end, and she'd asked before they got this far, and he had reassured her that the limo was soundproofed. The driver wouldn't hear us.

Still, this wasn't something I ever thought I'd be doing. It certainly hadn't occurred to me when I left home this morning, though, in all fairness, I hadn't known what to expect.

Joshua wrapped his lips around one n****e and sucked on it gently. I let out a whine as my whole body trembled. Then, I froze.

Shit.

He sucked a little harder, and it sent pleasurable tingles through my body. My clit throbbed with need, and I wanted to rub against him, knowing I could feel a lot better. But something else had occurred to me, and I wrapped one of my hands in his hair to tug him away.

If he sucks, even more, he'll taste the milk.

For a moment, I forgot I was still a new mom. Milk would be coming out of my breasts for at least two years, as long as I kept breastfeeding, and I intended to.

Joshua wasn't stupid. He would notice if something came out of my breasts, and it wouldn't be difficult for him to connect the dots.

"Wait," I said, breathless, with a touch of desperation. "Joshua, can you stop a little?"

The moment I said 'stop,' he did. He looked up at me, his expression a mix of confusion and desire.

I'm sorry, Joshua, I apologized to my mind.

"What's wrong?" he asked, sliding his tongue over his lip.

He was frowning, and I sighed as I moved away from him. I fixed my bra but didn't push to put my dress to rights just yet.

This was a mistake.

I should have realized it the moment he asked me for a date. There were so many ways I could give away the secret, even unintentionally. If it hadn't occurred to me, I really would have let him do whatever he wanted to me. I only remembered because I was incredibly self-conscious about the lie.

"I think... I need to go home," I said.

I couldn't look at him. I felt so sorry, and a little ashamed of myself. I didn't have to see his face to know he'd be disappointed. He had stopped already to ask if I was sure this was what I'd wanted, and I had said yes without thinking much about it, but I was regretting it now.

"I'm sorry," I said when he didn't say anything for a long time. "I just think it would be best if we ended the night here. Joshua, I'd like to go home now."

He let out a noisy breath, and I bit down on my lip so I wouldn't apologize again.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to stop, I told myself.

I knew that, but it still didn't sit well with me, because the only thing holding me back was that stupid lie. He had been the one to bring it up, but I shouldn't have gone along with it. If I wanted to avoid awkwardness between us, the thing I should have done was turn around and walk away, fast, before he noticed me back at the park that day.

If I'd done that, though, today wouldn't have happened.

Fuck. It hadn't been long, and already I was starting to get greedy. If I didn't have a child to think about, being honest with myself, falling back into a relationship with Joshua would have been very easy.

I just couldn't do it.

"Alessandra, do you hate being with me?" he asked, blunt.

I whirled around to him with wide eyes, then quickly shook my head.

"No! Why would you even think that? I wasn't pretending to have fun with you the whole day."

He was still frowning at me. "I noticed that. I also noticed how you were into what we were doing just now, but out of nowhere, you changed your mind. Did something happen?"

I opened my mouth, only to pause. Just saying I changed my mind last minute wasn't nice, and that was not it.

"I just really need to go home," I murmured after a minute. "My parents were expecting me; they'll be worried if I don't show up..."

"You're a grown woman, not a teenager. I'm sure if you told them you'd like to get back really late, or better yet, spend the night out, would they say no to you?"

Slowly, I shook my head. They'd ask questions, but they wouldn't pry. I was a mom already, so it wasn't as if they thought I was still innocent. I hadn't specified who I was going out with for the day, but by the look, Mom shot me when I walked out of the door this morning, she might have started suspecting me.

Joshua sighed, then took one of my hands. His eyes were intent on mine, making me freeze with their intensity.

"Alessandra," he said carefully. "I want to take you home with me. I won't do anything you don't want me to do. If you tell me again you'd rather go home; I'll take you there right now. Or I'll drop you off somewhere, and you can get there on your own."

I wanted to tell him to drop me off. Now was the worst time for him to find out where I lived.

Drop me now.

That was what I intended to say, but instead, I said something honest.

"I want to be with you."

Joshua' whole body seemed to relax. His lips curved into a small smile, and he squeezed my hand.

"Good," he said.

He leaned forward, and I tensed a little, but he only pecked my cheek before letting go of my hand. He took his phone out of his pocket, typed something on it, and then put it away.

"Do you mind fixing your clothes now?" he asked, eyes dropping to my chest. "It's a little distracting."

"Oh."

My cheeks warmed a little. I fixed my dress up, and when he held his hand out, I turned so he could zip up the back for me. Then, I picked up my coat from where it had fallen to the floor of the car.

"We'll be at my place soon," he said.

Then, he sat back, and I sat forward, though there was nothing to see but the pitch black partition. I looked down, and his leg was bouncing lightly in impatience.

He probably wanted to get back quickly.

I sat silently, biting softly at my lip. I had told him the truth, but I was still hesitant. Wouldn't he find it odd if I told him not to suck on my breasts again? He could get suspicious, especially since I used to love it when he did it before absolutely.

My thoughts kept tumbling over each other, and before I knew it, the limo had stopped.

"Alessandra? We're here."

I turned to Joshua, who already had his door open. Seeing that he had my attention, he held his hand out to me, and I placed my hand in his. He helped me out of the car. The driver waited just outside, and he and Joshua shared a nod, then Joshua led me to the building. I didn't have much time to look at it on the outside, besides noting that it was big. Joshua dragged me behind him at a higher than average pace, not fast, but with his long legs, I had to hurry a little to catch up.

We walked into the elevator, and he went still. He didn't even look at me, but his hand was a bit tight around mine. He pressed the button for the highest floor.

Of course, he lives in the penthouse, I thought.

The ride took about a minute, and my heart beat uncontrollably in my chest the entire time. There was a short hall, with one side made of glass looking out to the city, and a single door some feet ahead of us. He had his key out by the time we made it to the door. There was a keypad where he entered a code before unlocking the door, and let us inside.

Then without turning the lights on, he led me inside, up against a short set of stairs. He knew the layout of his house well. On the second floor, he opened a door and finally turned on a light. I just barely caught sight of the bed in the room, before he tugged me inside, closed the door behind us, and whirled me around to press me against it.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" I asked, feeling a little breathless.

Joshua ducked his head and pressed a kiss to the base of my neck.

"I don't want to give you time to change your mind again," he admitted. "I thought my heart would stop before, thinking you were lying about wanting me. Alessandra..."

I had an idea what he wanted to say, and I rose up on tiptoes to press my lips against his and stop him. If he told me he still loved me right then, I would give in. The kiss was chaste and short; then I pushed against his chest.

His body tensed, but he moved back. His expression was careful.

"I'm not leaving," I said comfortingly, patting his chest. "I wouldn't have gotten out of the limo if I didn't want to be here. But can I have a minute?"

He nodded and took a couple steps back. "Do you need to use the bathroom?"

I nodded.

"The ensuite is over there."

He pointed to the second door in the room. I looked around, then set my purse down on the nightstand. I walked quickly over to the bathroom, found the light switch, and closed the door behind me.

I didn't need to use the bathroom. I just needed time to calm myself down and be sure this was what I wanted. Joshua wouldn't be annoyed with me if I still said no. He would be disappointed, but he wouldn't hold it against me. I moved to the sink and washed my hands, then took several deep breaths.

When I was sure, I stepped out.

Joshua was sitting on the bed. He had shed his blazer, and he was leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. When I closed the door to the bathroom, he looked up. Then, he sat up and leaned back with his hands on the bed, keeping his eyes on me.

I figured he was waiting for me to make the next move.

"Just a little bit more," I murmured.

When I left home this morning, I hadn't specified to Mom whether I would be going back home tonight or not, which at least meant that I had been looking forward to something like this. I moved over to the nightstand and pulled my phone from my purse to send a quick text home to let them know I wouldn't be back and to look after Danny.

Then, I set my phone on the nightstand and turned back to Joshua.

He arched an eyebrow when he noticed me watching him, and bent his eyebrows.

"Are you ready now?"

"Yeah," I whispered.

I moved slowly over to him. I hesitated, before kicking off my shoes. I held onto his shoulders as I climbed to straddle his lap.

"I'm all yours now," I said. "Just...can you not touch my chest too much? I'm a little sensitive."

His eyebrows went up curiously. My heart thudded in my chest, but he didn't say anything. I felt his hands slide over my waist, and I sighed.

"It's fine with me," he murmured, eyes dropping to my lips.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and closed the space between us to kiss him. Joshua nibbled at my lips, and I parted my mouth, licking at his mouth until he let me in.

His hands roamed all over my back, sliding up to my shoulder blades, then down until his palms cupped my ass cheeks, then back up. His fingers caught the zipper of my dress and tugged it down. I didn't want to pull away, but the urgency from before in the limo was quickly building inside me. I moved away, just long enough to lift the dress off me and tossed it over my shoulder.

Joshua looked at my body, and I sat back on his thighs to let him. I chewed on my lip, wondering if I had changed a lot. My body had been pretty big six months ago before I gave birth, and I'd been doing a lot of exercises to get back the body I used to have. A lot of the extra weight from the pregnancy dropped easily, though I was always a little self-conscious about my lower stomach area.

He didn't seem to find anything wrong, though.

"Beautiful," he murmured. His hands were on my waist, then rose up, so his thumbs just touched the underside of my bra. "I did miss seeing you, Alessandra."

"I missed you, too," I admitted.

He smiled. Then, with his hands, he tugged the straps of my bra down. I pushed down the anxiety and let him unhook my bra, then I slid it off and sent it the way of my dress. His hands back on my waist, he stared, right at my breasts. When he leaned forward, I held my breath, but he only kissed the top of each breast before pulling away.

"Hold onto me," he commanded.

I did as he asked, holding on tightly. He rose up, and I wrapped my legs around his hips. He turned us around, then crawled up onto the bed on his knees, and carefully laid us down, with him on top of me.

"I'm going to f**k you, Alessandra. Is that okay?"

I flicked him on the shoulder. "You don't have to ask about every little thing."

Still, I was smiling, happy with my decision to stay.

Joshua pulled back and slowly started to undress. I watched as he undid the buttons of his shirt and slipped it off. Then, his hands moved to his belt, his fly. The breath caught in my throat as he slowly revealed himself, eyes dropping to his erection once he had his pants off. I tingled a little between my legs. Feeling my mouth water, I leaned forward and wrapped my hand around his length.

He groaned. "If you do that, I'm going to come. I haven't done this in a long while."

I sent him a challenging glance. "Neither have I."

He tugged my hand off him, then caught me by the hips. I raised my legs as he eased my panties off me. I stayed lying on my back with him kneeling between my legs, looking at me.

"Don't just keep staring," I said defensively.

I was fighting with myself not to cover myself with my hands. I knew I looked okay, after all the exercising I did just to keep my body and health up.

Besides, this was Joshua. The one person I knew I never had to be conscious about since a long time ago.

After looking his fill, he wrapped his hands on the underside of my thighs. He moved even closer, easing his knees to either side of my ass, then letting my legs rest on his. My body shivered in anticipation. He held his c**k to position himself as my entrance, and I squirmed a little just feeling it. Then, he pushed his hips forward and thrust his c**k inside me.

"Joshua," I gasped.

My back arched, feeling him come inside of me for the first time in so long. He slid all the way inside, his expression strained. Once he was all the way in, he held still. Then, he lowered his upper body over me, bracing his torso with his forearms on either side of my head.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded eagerly. I wrapped my legs around his hips, causing his c**k to shift inside me. I gasped, and he groaned.

"Please," I panted, feeling desperation rise. "Move, Joshua. I want you to f**k me. Move."

He groaned again, and did just that, pulling his hips back, and thrusting back in, slowly. My hands rose, and I gripped at his back, my nails digging into his skin a little. His thrusts came a little faster, and I tried to move and rock my hips against his, wanting him deeper.

"Harder," I gasped out. "Faster, please."

"Alessandra," he growled my name.

He wrapped one arm around my waist, holding me closer, then gave me what I wanted. I let out a cry as he pulled out, almost all the way, before slamming his c**k into me. He didn't stop, f*****g me fast and hard into the mattress. I dug my nails into his back, my body rocking with every thrust. My gasping and his light groans were almost covered by the sound of his skin slapping against mine.

"Joshua!"

I thought he mumbled my name; his voice was so low I couldn't be sure. He pressed a quick, rough kiss to my lips, before ducking his head in my shoulder. I could feel the pleasure build and build until I wondered if I would explode. And then, it did. My head tilted into the pillow, my back arched. I let out a cry, my walls contracting around his c**k as I orgasmed. Joshua let out a groan, and have one, two hard thrusts, and came inside me.

We both lay still, catching our breath. Joshua was getting a little heavy, but I just clutched at him with my weak limbs, wanting the closeness right then.

After a few minutes, he rolled us over, so we lay on our sides, and I let out a gasp as his soft c**k slipped out of me. He held me close in his arms, and I just snuggled further into his chest.

He said something, but I was sleepy, and right on the edge of sleep. As my mind shut down, I had one last thought, that it was a good thing I didn't hear what he wanted to say to me right then.