Restart

Chapter Nineteen

SIENNA'S POV

I wake up to my head banging. Its been a long time since I've had a hangover but I instantly know this is a hangover and groan in annoyance as I sit up.

"Here orange juice and some tablets" my mum says and I look to see she is sat in a chair next to my bed holding out some orange juice and tablets for me to take. It must be bad if my mum is waiting for me to wake up what did I do last night. Then it all comes back to me in a wave. The whole night and suddenly I wished I was still passed out. I take the drink and tablets from my mum saying "Thanks" in the process.

"The lads are all camped out downstairs in a right state" My mum says and I look at her surprised because if anyone should be in a state it should be me I think.

"There convinced your suicidal, bloody Charlie has even printed off this questionnaire to try determined to how mentally stable you are" my mum says rolling her eyes at the last part.

"And what do you think mum?" I ask..

"I'd like to think you would come to me and let me know if you was but I've a feeling you would go to Sid. you have always been two peas in pod. Well until lately. So the way I see it is you can tell me no matter even if you think it will upset me because I'm your mum.. I'm always going to be here for you. But I will help you tackle them all if you need me to back you up. If you really want to know what I think though, I think your just hurting so bad and have no idea how to deal with it all. I'm sure you have even thought you would be better off being a angel yourself to be with your babys and I don't blame you. I can't even imagine how you feel. But I also believe your strong enough to overcome this all. I'm not saying it won't ever stop or go away but I know your strong enough to heal as much as possible so you can move forward and live your life. I also know you were looking at grave stones last night, you may think I didn't notice but I did. I also know you won't leave this world without making sure the right one is put up. Me and your dad want to pay for it though if your let us" My mum says and I'm still holding the orange juice and tablets as my mum then moves to sit next to me on the bed.

"I'm trying, sometimes I feel like it will be easier to just give up. But then I think of how much pain I'm in and I know I can't put you and dad through anything like that" I say then I take the tablets.

"Then you have two options, I know the lads have tried there best to help you. But you don't have to go to Scotland alone. I can come with you if you want" my mum says taking my hand in hers.

"I can't take you away from Sid when he has the new baby" I say starting to cry.

"Your not taking me away. Id much rather have just some mum and daughter time away from everyone else anyway. And if you decide after a while you want to stay on a little while longer alone then you can. What do you say?" My mum says and I throw my arms around her saying "Yes, I would like that".

"Thats all solved then. Now I will have your dad bring you breakfast in bed. Take all the time you need to get ready" My mum says.

SUE'S POV

I walk into the kitchen and say "Honey take Sienna her breakfast please all the lads except Ethan stands up saying "I can do it"

"Sit down all of you" I say and once again I can't be more greatful knowing that when my time is up in this life Sienna will have this lot to look after her.

"But" Sid goes to say but I hold my hand up and he soon pipes down. Although I allow Sid and the lads to usually be the ones to do what they feel Sienna needs because there usually right this time round I know what she needs is them to back off just a little bit.

"No, now I've spoken with Sienna like I said I would. I believe Sienna isn't going to do anythings stupid. She may wish she wasn't here at times which is understandable but I am sure she won't do anything stupid. Oh and as for all your little planning games to try stop Sienna going or tailing her that won't be required as I'm going with Sienna" I say Ian smiles at me with approval as he passed me by with Siennas breakfast.

"I really messed up if she prefers you over me" Sid says

"Oi, I'm still both your mum and sometimes a daughter just needs her mum. She knows you all love her and care for her. And I usually step back because you all look after Sienna way to much. Hell you treat her better than an actual princess, but this time its times for me to do what mums do best" I say taking a seat at the table.

"She hates me doesn't she?" Sid say

"No, Sienna loves you, you doughnut. She loves you all. apperently some more than others" I say while thinking how impressed I am I didn't even notice Sienna was in love with Ethan, she sure held that together well. If only I'd had known then that bastered wouldn't of ever had a chance to hurt my baby girl like the way he has I think to myself.

"Sue, I'm just as surprised as you are. I swear if I'd known, I'd of done everything to stop her marrying that thing" Ethan says

"I don't doubt it for a second. We can all wish we had known. But she did hide that one very well. Trust me I'd of much preferred to of had you as a son inlaw, I see you all as my own children anyway. But I think you both need to talk when Sienna is ready. And I don't mean asking her on a date but making sure you both know where you stand for now. Id hate for the friendship to become tense between you both. Who knows when the time is right you may both get what you always wanted" I say

"I know, I'm worried that right now she won't want to look at me let alone see me. Charlie insisted I came but I'm worried she may just come downstairs any moment and start freaking out" Ethan says looking all nervous and being all fidgety

"Your always welcome here. I don't think Sienna will hate you though. It was as much of a surprise to her as it was you. Think about it she was told basically that her life could of gone totally different to this point in life and right now she is living in hell still. Sienna may not be in the hands of that monster physically anymore but I assure you he is still haunting her in her head and to add to that her heart has been torn apart with grief" I say as I feel my own heart achibg knowing my baby girl is still suffering. I hate it just like everyone else does.

"I know, we all wish we could take it away but I don't even know what's best anymore to try help Sienna through this. Will you have Sienna call me when she is ready to talk" Ethan says standing up.

"I will, but I think if you wait she may want to talk to you in person today now she is sober" I say.

One week later

ETHAN'S POV

"Have you still not heard from Sienna?" I say the second Sid answers the phone.

"Hello, to you as well. No Ethan I still haven't heard from Sienna personally, My dad ring though Sienna seems to be finding the scenery really helpful and calming that she has started going on two hour walks in the evenings alone. My mum reckons there helping. She also said they have had a few heart to hearts as well as got there nails and hair done. apperently tomorrow there getting massarges as well" Sid says.

"That got to be good right?" I ask needing to know Sienna is okay because it's been driving me crazy. I haven't personally spoken with Sienna since the night at the club.

"Yes, you know, I know Sienna doesn't hate you" Sid says

"Yes, I know you told me she was clearly looking for me when she left. But I really didn't want to upset her before there long journey" I say.

"Well have you even sent her a message yet?" Sid asks.

"Actually yes, I sent her a message late last night saying when she is ready to talk then we can talk until then I will give her all the space she needs and I'm regretting it now. All I want to do is ring her or even drive up there myself" I say feeling restless all the time is driving me insane I think to myself.

"If it makes you feel better the only updates all of us have had is from my mum. Sienna hasn't messaged anyone back" Sid says

"I know, hopefully she will want to talk with us all soon" I say.

Three weeks later

SIENNA'S POV

I looked at the time as I sat down with my hot chocolate infront of the fire place. I found, I'd grown even closer with my mum this past month. Although she went home two weeks ago I call her at least every other day. Even though we spoke last night I wanted to call my mum again. Infact she was the only person I spoke with this past month and it was somewhat refreshing. I didn't feel overwhelmed by everyone smothering me. I could go on walks everyday and admire the views all around me and actually managed to start clearing my head. I felt like things were not so bad anymore. I still hurt when thinking about my babies but I also know that will never go away. I just felt like I was also remembering who I was again.

"Hello Sienna, how are you" My mum says answering the phone

"Hey mum, I'm good sat infront of the fire place with a hot chocolate. I actually feel good today" I say as I hear Sid say mum pass me the phone.

"Go away, she doesn't love you as much as she love me. Shoo" I hear my mum teasing Sid and I can't help laughing

"I take it there all still hounding you" I say trying not to laugh to get the sentence out

"They sure are, I fear I'm gonna be tackled for the phone before long" my mum says as I hear Sid shout "Sienna beatwood so help me god if you don't contact us all soon we will all drive up and hunt you down" and I laugh some more before saying "Tell sid he wouldn't look good in kilt, but don't worry mum I will ring everyone after I've spoken with you. like I said I'm really starting to feel more at peace in some kind of weird way" I say

"I'm glad to hear it. How long did you walk for today?" My mum asks as I take a sip of my drink but its still a little hot.

"A few hours, I'm really going to miss this place when I come home" I say.

"Have you decided when that is yet? I can book us for our nails to be done again. I really loved doing that with you again" my mum says

"I think in about two weeks. I want to just have a little more time enjoying it here before I come home. Also I was thinking I may give up being a surgeon to become a gp. what do you think?" I ask my mum.

"If you think that's what will make you happy then you do what you feel is right. No matter what me and your dad will be proud of you even if you worked in McDonald's" My mum says and I know she means it.

"I know that. I just still don't know for sure its literally a idea at the moment" I say

"Then take the next few weeks to decide. You know whatever you choose I will support your decision. Even if you haven't figured it out before you come home there is no rush. you still have loads of savings plus you get your shares monthly from the family business even though you don't work there its what always going to be in place for you, you don't even need to work so long as your brother doesn't quit being the big boss" my mum says and Sid shouts out "I won't quit so long as she rings me regularly otherwise she can have a life of luxury not working for all I care" and I laugh again.

"I know but I need to do something, at the very least I need to find something to do with my life again" I say

"And you will when the time is right" My mum says but then baby Jordan starts to cry so my mum says "Can I ring you back later when its quite?"

"Of course, I will ring you tomorrow after my walk. send my love to everyone" I say

"I will, we all love you to" my mum says then I say "Bye, love you" and hang up.

I see that I've a messages in the group chat already so I open it up and see

SID

I swear down now Sienna Beatwood I meant every word we will drive up if you don't contact us

CHARLIE

I second that princess, drop us a message at least

SID

Charlie, Sienna is on the phone with mum right now! Even my mum is teasing me now saying she loves her more than me!!!

I cant help laughing as the next message pops up

HARRY

Wow, Wow, Wow PRINCESS please let me know you haven't forgotten us all. love you princess

I decide to reply before everyone has a heart attack. I noticed again though Ethan hadnt messaged in the group messages regarding me. But he Will message when it doesn't involve me.

I'm sorry, but there is no need to drive up. I promise I'm fine. This place is good for the soul let alone the mind. Did my mum (who by the way sid loves me more than you) show you the pictures?

I press send before my phone starts going crazy with messages from them all..

SID

I don't mind being second favorite so long as you come home soon.. miss you

HARRY

Oh my god, you just made my day, so happy to finally hear from you. Yes she shown us all.. it looks amazing so I can see why its good for the soul. What have you been doing?

CHARLIE

About time princess. Damn we all missed you. please tell me your coming home soon. miss you loads

I quickly type out a reply.

I missed you all as well, I just really needed some time to think. It's really peaceful here. I love walking and the mountain its refreshing even the air seems clearer here. Don't get me wrong i still have sad moments but im starting to feel and remember who I am.. I will be home in a few weeks though. I still have a few things to figure out. Will call you all tomorrow though be before three as I go for early evening walks or after I've rung mum.. let me know what's best for you all.

I pressed sent then decided to message Ethan separately, only upon opening up a separate message I realised that Ethan deserved more than a text, we should really talk. ignoring the fast replies from the everyone else I rang Ethan instead.