Hel's Huntsman

21 - Not too proud

Hel

Fenrir looks at me from his seat behind his massive desk, one eyebrow raised. I sigh because my brother has said nothing after telling him everything that was relayed to Kayson and me. Winter sits beside her mate, and I can feel Kayson’s annoyance through our bond.

It wasn’t my intention to cause trouble or annoy anyone, but nothing in this universe will make me regret my decision to have my son. There is nothing I won’t do to protect him. I don’t care what it costs me; my son will live.

“Are you just gonna sit there?” Kayson finally asks the question we were both thinking.

Fenrir sighs. “I’m just finding it hard to believe my sister is having a child.”

“Why?”

Fenrir looks at Kayson and shrugs. “I never imagined her as a mother. I know it was foreseen, but I never gave it much thought.”

I never gave much thought to being a mother, either, not until Selene showed me the future. I didn’t believe I deserved such a gift. I am many things, but I am no liar, and I would be a liar if I said I didn’t want my son. Now that I’m carrying Kaiden, all I can think about is holding him and loving him.

Am I so wrong in wanting this?

Am I selfish?

I don’t care if I am. No one will make me feel guilty for wanting what others take for granted. However, it doesn’t feel good that my brother clearly has no faith in my ability to be a mother.

“Do you think I would be a terrible mother, Fenrir?” Kayson growls beside me, but I clutch his hand, calming him. “Do you think I’m selfish for having this child? That I should end his life before he’s born to not only save the world but to save my child from a woman like me?”

Fenrir looks at me with furrowed brows before he turns to Winter. She’s looking at him with clouded eyes. They must be communicating through their mate link.

I look at Kayson and smile slightly. There’s anger in his eyes but understanding also. I’m not weak; I never have been. Many fear me because I’m unrelenting in my punishments to those who go against me. Some believe I have no soul because I take joy in fighting and killing. But that doesn’t mean that I have no feelings. I may not show them, but I feel them.

‘Are you okay, baby?’ Kayson asks telepathically.

I smile and nod. ‘I’m fine, Kayson. Fenrir is entitled to his opinion. It’s not like I ever gave him a reason to believe in me.’

‘Whatever that fool believes, I know you’re going to be an amazing mother, Hel. Don’t ever doubt that.’

I smile wider because as long as Kayson believes in me, I don’t care what anyone else thinks. I lean over and kiss my mate, causing him to smile against my lips. I don’t know what I did to deserve this man, but I thank Selene for entrusting me with Kayson’s happiness.

Damn, I never thought I would thank Selene for anything. It’s not as though she and I have ever had any kind of friendship. In fact, we can’t stand one another. But for some reason, she saw fit to pair me with her great-grandson.

What am I talking about?

The bitc.h paired us because she didn’t want him to die in the war against Nyx. Selene paired Kayson and me because she knew I would be obsessed enough to protect him.

But do you know what?

I’m glad Selene did what she did because I couldn’t love Kayson more if I tried.

‘And you will be a wonderful father, Kayson.’

He smiles and winks at me, making me laugh.

I stop laughing when Fenrir shoots me a look. “I wasn’t aware this situation was a laughing matter.” Winter elbows my brother in annoyance. He sighs. “Look, I do not think you’ll be a terrible mother, nor do I think you’re selfish. As for not having your son, yes, it would make things easier. But I would never ask you to give up your child, Hel.”

I blink because what Fenrir just said means so much to me, more than he will ever know.

“Now, Winter and I believe you should stay here until your son is born,” Fenrir tells me. “I can and will keep you all safe from Odin because I know he won’t come here unless he wants me to kill him.”

I close my eyes in relief. I’m a proud woman. I have been taking care of myself my whole life. However, I’m not so proud that I won’t take my brother up on his offer of help. I would do anything for Kaiden, even if that means relying on others to keep him from harm.

“Have you thought what you’ll do when Odin calls for you? Because he will, Hel. You know he will.”

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Of course, I’ve thought about Odin’s call. He will call upon me as soon as he gets wind of my pregnancy. It will be seen as treason against the All-Father if I don't answer. He will send all sorts after me then.

They can call it whatever they want. I will not answer Odin’s call, and when he tracks me and realizes that I’m with Fenrir… Well, he will send someone else for me. However, I have a trick up my sleeve. I only hope it doesn’t backfire.

“I’ve thought about it.” I nod at Fenrir. “I’m not going to answer Odin’s call; someone else will.”

My brother raises an eyebrow. “If you’re going to suggest what I think you are, don’t.”

“What are you talking about?” Kayson looks from Fenrir to me. “Hel?”

“The only person who can fool Odin is Loki.”

“What? Are you crazy?”

I sigh. “Kayson, listen to me. Loki has the power of deception. If Odin calls for me, Loki could take my form and pretend to be me. Odin won’t know the difference.”

Kayson’s eyes don’t leave mine as he telepathically asks, ‘Loki can’t be trusted, Hel. You said yourself that he doesn’t care about you or your brothers. What makes you think he’ll help?’

‘Because Loki would do anything to get one over on Odin. I know it’s risky to trust a man who relishes in mischief and dishonesty. But we must try, Kayson. This is for Kaiden. I don’t care what I must do; I will do it.’

Kayson smiles while bringing my hand to his mouth and kissing my knuckles. ‘I trust you, baby. If this is the way you want to do things, then we’ll do it. But I’ll warn you this: if Loki betrays us, Odin will be the least of his worries.’

I bite the inside of my cheek to ward off the laughter trying to escape me. ‘I love you.’ I tell him.

‘I love you, too.’

I turn to my brother. “Kayson and I are in agreement. If it comes to it, I will call Loki and ask for his help.”

Fenrir sighs while rolling his eyes.

None of my brothers are ever happy to hear from Loki. The man causes trouble wherever he goes, and he cares nothing for the damage he leaves behind. But I believe somewhere inside of my father, he wanted to help me all those years ago. Loki tried to get me to listen, but I was too stubborn. Still, Loki tried to get through to me by whispering the words he did as I fell into Revival Sleep.

Loki doesn’t love me, and I will never believe otherwise. There is always a reason why he does everything he does. However, I will put my trust in the man this one time. If he lets me down, I’ll kill him. Simple.

“Do what you want, Hel. You will anyway, no matter what I say. You and Kayson can stay here for as long as you need. Your son will be safe under my watch. But I won’t have that fucke.r on my land, near my children. Loki steps foot on my land, I’ll kill him. Do I make myself understood?”

I refrain from snapping back at Fenrir. I’m lucky he’s helping me at all. “Thank you, Brother.”

Whatever it takes, I will keep you safe, Kaiden.