Chris, the Macho Lawyer (FREE to READ)

NNETEEN: BEG

I woke up when I felt the numbness of my thigh and arm. I also felt something heavy on my stomach. I opened my eyes only to close them again when a single ray of sunshine from the small hole of the roof blinded me. I groaned because my back was also aching from the thin mattress of the bed.

And then it hit me.

I was not in my own bedroom. Or house. I flickered my eyes open again at pinakiramdaman ang paligid. May naririnig akong nagkakalampagan mula sa kung saan. Mga taong tila nagsisigawan at mga batang nagtatawanan na naglalaro sa labas ng bahay. Kumunot ang aking noo. Nasaan nga ulit ako?            

“Alin sa dalawa ang nakadistorbo sa pagtulog mo, ang maingay na kapaligiran o ang matigas na higaan?” Chris' deep voice vibrated on the side of my head.

Mabilis kong nilingon ito at napasinghap na lamang nang tumama ang ilong ko sa mga labi niyang tila nakangisi. Naaliw ba siya? I looked up to him and yumuko ito para halikan ang tungki ng aking ilong.

His dreamy eyes wandered across my face as if he was memorizing every part, every detail of it. “Kung ganito kaganda ang bubungad sa akin tuwing paggising ko sa umaga, hindi na siguro ako babangon pa.” He curved a small smile. “Magandang umaga.” Napapaos niyang dagdag, ang mga mata ay nakatutok sa nakaawang kong labi.

I suddenly felt thirsty that I swallowed. "Good mor—ning.” I wanted to reach his mouth and kiss him deeply. Pero nag-uunahan ang mga tanong sa utak ko.

Kumilos ako at tumagalid para magkaharap kami but I winced when I felt the pain in my back. Pati na rin ang aking mga braso at hita. Ngunit nagpagtanto ko kung bakit namamanhid ang hita ko. His one thigh was placed over mine. And....and..... and.....

Oh my god.

He's hard down there. Agad na pinamulahan ako ng mukha and I looked away. He laughed when he saw my expression. Tinapik ko ang hita niya. “Let me go. Mabigat. Nangangalay ako.” Sabi ko na hindi tumitingin sa kanya.

“Hmmm…” At dinikit pa lalo ang sarili sa akin. He threw one arm just below my breast and pulled me closer to his muscled chest. And then the next thing I knew was the palm of his hand went to the bare skin of my thigh. I realized just now that I was only wearing a shirt and panties!

“My god Chris!” I hissed at him. s**t. Something hot was rushing to the pit of my stomach.

He sighed as he buried his face at the crook of my neck, nuzzling up against me. “Give me a minute.” He said hoarsely.

Okay. Because I also needed a minute to calm myself.

“Bakit dito ka nakatira?” I asked after an eternity of silence. He let me go at tumihaya. Nakawala ako sa pagkakaunan ng ulo ko sa kanyang braso. He stretched his arms above his head, his head resting over his hands.

“Dito sa kapaligiran ako lumaki, Veronica. Hindi ko maiwan-iwan ang pinaggalingan ko. Ito ang nakasanayan kong buhay. Kung tutuusin kaya kong magkaroon ng disenteng tirahan sa isang mumurahin na subdibisyon pero hinahanap-hanap ko ang ganitong paligid. The smell, the noise, the people, everything about this place.”

“Anong mayroon dito sa lugar na ito na hindi mo maiwan-iwan, Chris?”

“Sinagot ko na ang tanong mo Veronica. This is my life. This is where I belong.”

Bumalikwas ako at bumangon. Tinalikdan ko ito. “Dahil iyon ang gusto mong isipin. Dahil ito ang gusto mong mangyari sa buhay mo. Dahil ito lang ang tingin mong kaya mong abutin, Chris. You can reach high, Chris. Trust me, you can. Just stop looking down at yourself and believe in yourself instead. You deserve something better than this and you know it. You are a f*****g lawyer, for god sake!”

“Sa ngayon, ito lang muna ang kaya ko. Hindi ka ba nakakaramdam? Unti-unti kong pinapakita sa'yo ang totoong ako, Veronica. Kung ano lang ang kaya kong ibigay at ialay sa'yo ngayon.”

“What about the house and the land you inherited from your late father? I'm sure he left a fortune to you. Bakit hindi mo iyon pakinabangan para makaahon ka sa buhay na ganito Chris?”

?I don't need those. Binigay ko ang bahay at lupa kay lola dahil kulang pang kabayaran yun sa lahat ng sakripisyong ginawa niya para mapalaki ako. In fact, kulang na kulang pa yun sa lahat ng paghihirap na dinanas niya nang lumalaki akong walang ina at ilang ulit na tinanggihan ng aking ama. Dapat lamang na pagbayaran ng ama ko ang lahat ng pagkukulang niya sa akin, pero si lola ang karapat-dapat magtamasa ng kaginhawaan ngayon. She suffered too much.” He breathed. “At sinumpa kong hindi ko na gagalawin ang natitira pang iniwan ng aking ama, Veronica. Hindi mo alam, he got those fortune from dirty works. He's a one f****d-up, self-centred, son of a b***h. Funny, because he used to call me that before. Na anak ako ng isang puta.”

Napailing ako. Hindi ko siya kayang tignan. Why are you thinking this way Chris? Hindi ko maintindihan!

“How about Rosalie and Echo? Where are they, by the way?”

“For the second question, nasa bahay sila kasama ni lola. They can't come here in the city dahil mas madali silang mahahanap ng kanyang sira-ulong ama. For your first question, hmmm......marami pa kaming pag-uusapan ni Rosalie.”

I c****d my head to his side. Nakakunot ang noo nito na tila nag-iisip. “Hindi ba kayo nakapag-usap sa nakalipas na ilang araw buhat nang umalis ako?”

Sinalubong nito ang aking tingin. May nagbabadyang emosyon doon na hindi ko mawari. “I told you, you will ruin me the moment you walk out from my house. And you just did, Veronica. My life has never been the same again since the day you left.” May pait sa boses nito.

Suminghap ako. “I'm here now. I am so willing to be with you, Chris. I don't give a f*****g care about the rest. Pero pinagtutulukan mo pa rin ako palayo. Hindi ko talaga maintindihan kung ano ang gusto mo! You're one frustrating man!”

“Do you think I did not know that?! This whole damn situation frustrates the hell out of me! And I can't do anything about it! What do you think about me? Just because you like me, I will grab that opportunity to be with you? Kung ibang lalake siguro Veronica baka pinakasalan ka na agad-agad! Pero ibahin mo ako! Hindi sarili ko ang iniiisip ko kundi ikaw! I want to give the world to you because you deserve it. Hindi ko maatim na maghihirap ka sa piling ko, Veronica. Hindi ko kayang nahihirapan ka dahil lamang sa sitwasyon ko.” Umupo ito and settled himself behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist. Napapikit ako.

“You scare me, and I have never been so scared my whole life. Ngayon lang, Veronica. Just your name itself scares the hell out of me. It's just unfortunate that we met in a wrong time. Kung kailan hindi pa sapat ang mayroon ako ngayon para sa isang tulad mo.”

“Sapat ka na para sa akin, Chris. What I am feeling for you is more than enough.”

“No. Nasasabi mo lang yan ngayon dahil sa nararamdaman mo. Pero pagkatapos ng ilang buwan, taon, pagsisisihan mo rin kung bakit ako pa ang napili mo.” Mapait nitong tugon.

I faced him at tinitigan siya ng mabuti. Hoping he could see the truth in my eyes. “Hindi ako si Rosalie. Don't compare me with that woman. Hindi kita tatalikuran anuman ang mangyari, Chris.”

He smiled, but a forced one. “No sweetheart, you're not Rosalie. You're way bigger than her. And what I feel for you is far different from what I felt for her years ago. What I felt for her devastated me. What I feel for you right now.... will surely kill me.”

Suminghap ako na tila nahihirapang huminga. You love me, I know you do. I reached for his head and used my fingers to trace the contours of his masculine, yet delicate beautiful face. “Then be mine, Chris.”

“I am yours the second I laid my eyes on you, dripping wet and covered with dirt. Still, you managed to take my breath away in a heartbeat. I wanted to rip your clothes apart and take you right there and then. You were breathtakingly beautiful Veronica; I almost went insane. Your beauty is out of this world. A rare gem. Something I don't deserve.”

I placed my forehead against him and lean forward to give him a light brush on his lips. “I deserve you just like how you deserve me, Chris. I will beg if only you would take me in.”

“You don't have to. Begging doesn't suit you, sweetheart. And besides, you don't need to beg because I am at your mercy now. I will do the begging in the future dahil pakiramdam ko'y ako ang mangangailangan ng atensyon mo. Just please wait for me. I promise to become a successful man to be worthy of you.”

I kissed his chin. “What if you fail? Or what if I can't wait for you any longer? Paano kung may dumating na mas higit pa sa'yo?” I asked jokingly but he took my words seriously.

He took a deep breath as he closed his eyes. When he opened them, it broke my heart. He was in pain. “Then I will blame myself repeatedly. For being late. For not being good enough. I will blame myself again just like how my mother blamed me for being alive on this earth.”

His words crashed my heart. Tumawa ako. I could pass as an actress for being good at pretending that it didn't affect me at all. Niyakap ko siya na nakatawa pa rin. I patted his back, silently cursing my tears from rolling down my cheeks. “I promise to wait for you. Two or three years perhaps? Sapat na yun di ba? I can't wait for you to be mine, Chris.”

He chuckled, and I pray to God he wouldn't notice my hiccups. “Hmm... We'll see.”

“I'm hungry.” I need to change topic for diversion. Although, gutom na rin talaga ako.

Nilayo ako nito at pinagmasdan. “Hindi ka naman maselan sa pagkain di ba? Okay lang kahit anong ihahain ko?”

Dalian akong tumango na parang bata. “I'll eat everything that you will cook, Chris.”

He smiled brightly. But it just made my heart ache a little more.

I will wait for you Chris. Yeah, naiintindihan na kita. Gusto mong may mapatunayan sa sarili mo, because all your life you've been striving hard to be a better person ngunit hindi iyon nakikita ng mga taong pinahalagahan mo. Your father, mother and Rosalie. Pero nakikita kita at naiintindihan kita. I'll give you that. Dahil alam kong kaya mong magtagumpay.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Oh please, the last thing I want from you is your pity, Dela Vega.” His brows furrowed.

Umiling ako at pinakatitigan siyang mabuti. Dinama ko ang tumutubong balbas niya na kumikiliti sa aking balat. Dinausdos ko ang aking daliri sa hubad nitong dibdib at pinaglaruan ang mga pinong balahibo roon.

“You're one of the strongest men I have ever known in my life, Chris. Second to kuya Lawrence. I don't pity you. Why would I? Ang pride mo nga ay kasing taas ng bundok Apo, paano ako maaawa sayo? Mas lamang ang inis kasi ang hirap mong abutin samantalang inaabot ko na nga ang kamay ko sa’yo, umaayaw ka pa.” Umismid ako.

“Ang pride ko ay kasing taas ng bundok Apo dahil ikaw ang bundok Apo, Veronica. At pinapangako kung maabot kita pagdating ng panahon. Ipangako mo lang sa akin na handa kang maghintay at wag mo na ulit ako bibiruin na baka may mahanap kang iba. Iniiisip ko pa lang, pinapanghinaan na ako ng loob.” Puno ng paninibugho ang nasa boses nito.

Ngumiti ako ng matamis. “Hindi mo ba alam na masamang pinaghihintay ang isang Veronica Dela Vega? But then, you're the exemption to the rule. Kaya pakibilisan mo lang ha. I can't wait to be with you, Chris.”

“Yes Ma'am.” He grinned wickedly.

Sinampay ko ang aking mga braso sa kanyang balikat. "” have one last question, though.”

“Fire away.” He kissed my forehead.

“Why did you snap last night?”

He sighed deeply as he fixated his lingering eyes on mine. “I told you before that I had been into street and underground fights. Every time I won, nakakadagdag iyon para mairaos ko ang aking pag-aaral. I have faced deaths several times, but I survived. Somehow, I managed to survive. Natigil lang ako sa ganoong gawain mula nang magkasakit si lola. That was the time I accepted my father's fortune, not entirely of course.”

“You almost killed the man last night Chris.”

“He touched you, he deserved it.”

“But you're a lawyer! Paano kung magreklamo yun!”

“Let him be. I have witnesses that he sexually harassed you. And he's still breathing kaya wala kang dapat ipag-alala.”

I sighed exasperatingly. “Bakit ganun nalang ang takot ni kuya kagabi? Does he know everything about you?”

Tumango ito. “I told him everything and I'm sure he made a way to dig more information about me. I like your brother. He didn’t judge me of who I am or was before.”

“Ako rin naman ah.”

“But I'm not going to marry your brother, silly. Ikaw ang pangarap ko kaya gusto kong maging karapat-dapat sayo, Nica.”

Nica? Sino nga ba ang tumatawag sa akin ng ganyang pangalan bukod sa mommy ko?

I was lost for a moment there when he spoke. “I'll prepare breakfast now. Pareho na tayong male-late sa trabaho.” I nodded at sabay kaming kumilos para tumayo.

“Wala akong bihisan, Chris.”

He leaned down to check the inside of his small refrigerator. “You can wear my shirt. I have clean boxers as well. Nandiyan lang sa cabinet, sweetheart.”

“Uhm Okay.” I guess I have no choice.

Binuksan ko ang unang drawer ng kanyang cabinet at piniling kuhanin ang puting T-shirt nito. Then sa pangalawa naman ay kumuha ako ng boxers niya. Binuksan ko ang pangatlo at panghuling drawer baka sakaling may shorts doon na akma sa akin, pero napatitig lamang ako sa loob niyon. There were old photos of him. And Rosalie. He keeps them kahit ilang taon na ang nakalipas.

Sinarado ko ulit iyon at hindi inintindi ang pagsalakay ng sakit sa aking puso.

“Chris?”

“Hmm?” He didn't look back at me. He's busy beating the eggs on the kitchen nook.

“Did Rosalie ask you to marry her? I mean, may anak kayo.” Kumagat-labi ko, waiting for his response.

Tumigil ito sa ginagawa at pinilig ang ulo. “Wala pa kaming napag-uusapan na ganyan at imposibleng pakasalan ko siya. Hindi nababatay kung gaano ka kabuting magulang dahil lamang sa kasal kayo, Veronica. I will father Echo, but I won't marry the mother.”

“What if she insists?”

He sighed and faced me. Sumandal siya doon sa counter at hamalukipkip. He looked so deliciously sexy with that posture. “No. Wala na akong gusto sa buhay ngayon kundi ang maging akin ka. I don't need anything else. You turned my world upside down, Nica. Ikaw lang ang gusto ko ngayon at gugustuhin sa hinaharap.” Tinalikdan ako nito at bumalik sa ginagawa.

Napangisi ako. I flipped my hair. Pakiramdam ko'y umabot sa main road ang haba ng buhok ko. Oh well.

Mabilis akong pumasok sa payak niyang banyo. Tanging sabong panligo, maliit na pares ng boteng shampoo at conditioner, at isang pares ng toothpaste at toothbrush. Malinis ang toilet bowl nito. Nagkibit-balikat ako at sinampay ang aking bihisan sa pising nakatali sa magkabilang side ng ng banyo.

Nang mapuno ang timba ng tubig ay nagbuhos muna ako sa paa. Medyo malamig ang tubig kaya nagsitayuan ang labahibo sa aking katawan. Nang medyo nakapag-adjust na ako sa lamig ay nagbuhos agad ako. Dalian din ang aking pagsasabon at nag shampoo na rin ako sa aking buhok para isang buhusan nalang. Ayokong lumaki ang bill ng tubig ni Chris dahil lamang sa kaartehan ko.

Nang makapagbihis, I wrapped my head with the towel at lumabas na ng banyo. But Chris took me by surprise when he grabbed my waist and leaned me against his thin wall.

“What's wrong?”

He buried his face at the base of my neck, inhaling my scent. “Pasensya ka na kung malayong malayo ito sa bahay mo. Hindi ka ba nahirapan sa pagligo?”

Umiling ako at nilayo ang mukha niya sa akin. I wanted to see his handsome face. I put both my hands on his cheeks. “Pati ba ang pagligo ko ay nag-aalala ka? Hindi ako asin na malulusaw sa tubig, Chris. I can manage. And trust me, I'm enjoying this. I'm happy that I'm experiencing all of this with you.”

Bumaba ang mukha nito sa akin at sinalubong ko ang kanyang mga labi. We kissed passionately.

“You brushed your teeth?” He sounded surprised.

“Yeah. Sorry kung ginamit ko ang toothbrush mo. Iisa lang kasi ang nakita ko doon eh.”

“Fuck.” He kissed me again. This time, in a savage way. Napaungol ako. He bit my lower lip, and his tongue played the sides of my mouth. I sighed and he took that an advantage to delve his tongue inside. Napakapit ako sa balikat nito. My knees started to wobble.

“The fact that you used my toothbrush turns me on f*****g big time, Nica.” He murmured against my lips.

He pressed his body against mine and I could feel how hard he was. “Please, Chris.” Kung para saan ang pagmamakaawa ko ay hindi ko alam.

“Just one look at you and my body starts to ache of wanting to touch you, Nica. Every time you look at me, I'm always on fire. When the right time comes na kaparat-dapat na ako sa’yo, I'll make love to you every day and night. I will f**k you senseless that even breathing is impossible to do. I will take you to heaven and make sure you will forget even your own name. I will make you scream in ecstasy and I'll make sure that you will only remember one name. My name.”

We both grasping for breaths. Ang mga sinabi nito ay nagbibigay sa aking ng kakaibang liyo. We were both panting, and our bodies were shaking uncontrollably. I can't even control the fast beating of my heart. I am throbbing for him. I could feel it between my thighs.

“I beg, Chris.”

He shook his head. “Not now, sweetheart.”

“Pero bakit sa Sta. Teresa, we almost made love, Chris.”

“Dahil wala pa akong plano noon na manatili sa buhay mo. Pero iba na ngayon, Veronica. I will pursue you in every possible way I can. Just be patient with me. I'll be there in no time.”

When the storm inside me subsided, I nodded at him. “Okay.”

“But don't let any other man touch you, Veronica. Your body is mine for the taking, do you understand?”

Again, I nodded while biting my lip.

“f**k. You're too dangerous for me, dela Vega. Too dangerous and yet, I feel safe with you.” He whispered huskily. “And don't f*****g bite your lip, it makes you look hotter than you already are. Ako lang ang pwedeng kumagat dyan. Ako lang ang pwedeng umangkin sa'yo. Wala nang iba pa.” He smirked and let me go.

Inirapan ko siya at inayos ang sarili. He chuckled.

“Mauna ka nang kumain. Maliligo lang ako.”

He gently grabbed the towel from my hair, and he used it to hide the hard-on against his pants. Mabilis itong kumilos para kumuha ng bihisan at nagmamadaling pumasok sa banyo.

I laughed and knocked the door. “Chris! Can I come in?”

I heard him groan. “Shut up Nica and eat your breakfast!”

Can I eat you instead? Gosh! Kailan pa ako naging ganito kahalay! The things you do to me Chris! Natatawang lumayo na lamang ako sa pintuan.

I could still hear him groaning and I don't want to entertain the thoughts flashing on my mind. Napakagat-labi na lamang ako at napangisi.