Waiting For You (A Forbidden Love)

Chapter 5 Reincarnation

When i heard her story from my dad, i feel my heart is in pain. I can’t imagine the life she had gone through. She had undergone life’s hardness thrown at her, not being able to be chosen by the man she loves.

And when they finally reconnected, be together, hopeful for the future then things happen. Being rape by an asshole, a man who she doesn’t love and being abandon by the man she thought would be there for her.

I can’t fathom how she feels in that exact moment and then carrying, raising a child alone that’s so tough. For sure she is one brave hell of a lady. I admire her even more in that thought.

I never had a mom growing up but i got few yaya’s caring for me and a dad, we got money as well. I got all what i need.

"One day, if i got to see you and you're still single, I will come to marry you"; usal ko sa larawan nasa aking harapan, like I'm promising her.

At the time when i look at her, it feels she understands me. I can see her eyes that have a life and it's talking to me kaya di ako kumurap. I wanna hold that moment like we’re talking to each other through our eyes.

"You get me? I will marry you one day, so wait for me to find you, okay? For now, i will study hard for our future."

Para kong tanga dun kinausap ang picture frame sa taas, saying my promise. I don't even care if she's older than me, it doesn't matter. All i know is that my heart is connected to her.

Since then she becomes my inspiration, i am full of life. I got the highest grade in school, achieve a lot of awards and all i dedicated to her. I am excited for the future and has a lot of plans.

Dad is still looking for her. If dad found her first, i will let go if they still love each other. If after knowing me and she would still choose him, i will give in but will also give a good fight. I believe what i feel is not just a simple crush or attraction, it is more than that, something it is hard to explain.

I am still young by age and body but i feel old, my soul is old. I like old stuff, listening to old music, talking to old people. I am fascinated with history, feels like i am with them in that time when the story happen. It' really weird but that's how my preference are.

I felt i was being reincarnated from somewhere. I wonder why i am like this, so i search, i read books looking for answers.

Then i came across to reincarnation topic, it gets my attention, triggers my curiosity, i feel like this answers my questions about myself.

After that, i am fascinated reading stuff about reincarnation. Yeah i believe it’s true, it did happen, coz i am one of them. I felt i belong from old generation and my soul get into a young body.

"What happen to the soul once the body died? When the soul goes out from the body, life also goes, so it’s the soul that gives life to a human body. When the soul separates from the body, the body of a man becomes useless, rot in the soil."

"So the soul goes somewhere and it will get into someone’s body again. A newborn child has another life with another soul, so the soul is just recycling and acting the way at a time where it came."

That’s what in my mind and what i believe about me. It answer all my questions, why weird things happening into me.

Time flies faster and dad is still same. He had everything but a lonely man, no life. He doesn’t enjoy what he has now because his love wasn’t there with him.

He focuses his time on our farm and it’s growing fast. We are the supplier of fruits and vegetables around Metro Manila.

He hires private detective to keep looking for Rochelle. He is still hopeful but he's ageing so much because lack of inspiration.

I continued my life, studying business in some colleges in Manila. Through the time my mind is still with that picture in the wall.

Dad asks someone to do oil painting of her in bigger frame so i ask dad if i can have that picture of her. I told him i will ask some other people in Manila about her and he believes in me, but i just want her picture to be with me wherever I go.

I hang it in my wall, talk to her every time i am at home, especially when i feel so down, encountered trouble. She becomes my source of strength, my companion.

It’s like she is with me in that time and i wasn’t alone, weird but it’s how i felt. I don’t need anyone coz i have her. Her presence helps me get through some bad times.

I even posted her in our school, hope someone may find her. Some ask who is she, i just told them it’s my mom so that no more questions ask.

Throughout my journey in college she is with me. There were times i have asked questions.

"I know you are real, but is there a chance that one day we will meet? Have all these thoughts in my mind will be real one day?"

"Dad has been looking for you long years now but still he can’t find you. Are you hiding from him coz you are waiting for me? I have waited for so long but haven’t had a glimpse of you yet. Are you still there, somewhere? Are you also waiting for me? Tell me please, where can i find you, give me a hint?"

Kausap ko sa kanya sa picture kasi i get frustrated already coz i wanted to see her for real. My longing for her gets intense as i get older, coz i can do my plan now. I have prepared myself to the moment na makikita ko na siya at magawa ang plano ko but minsan parang nawawalan na ako ng pag-asa.

I even think that what if this only exist in my mind? I can't even ask some advice or talk to anyone about it, coz they will think I'm crazy, falling in love to a woman i haven't meet yet. Let alone talking to a picture thinking she has a life, who would believe me?

"My love, i feel our connection is so strong and somehow what i feel is true, so please lead me the way, where i can find you?" Pakiusap ko sa kanya. I have been waiting for so long, i wanted to be with her.