Waiting For You (A Forbidden Love)

Chapter 4 Crush

We are so busy today kasi foundation day ng school. Everyone is busy preparing, maraming school event. I am a part of a group dance that will perform later and there’s also a sport event which is part ako ng basketball team.

Ang iba kung barkada ay busy sa pambabae, kasi maraming outsider na pwede makapasok. Our school is elite among schools in our region, it is a private school.

"Come on Arthur, may ipakilala ako sayo na chics, galing ibang school, maganda Bro.” pabidang saad ni Jerome sa akin.

I just go with the flow ng mga kabarkada ko, sumunod sa kanilang pupuntahan.

There i saw a girl, kasing idad namin. She looks sexy in her sleeveless tops and short denim short.

“Bro, siya ng sinasabi ko sayo na gusto kang makilala, may crush ata sayo yan”; bulong pa niya.

“Hi, I’m Lilibeth"; saad niya while extending her hands to me, she says it in a flirty way.

“Arthur here"; yun lang sabi ko, not minding her hands. Di ko siya gusto, maganda nga, cute pero malandi, ayoko sa babae na malandi.

My yaya said piliin ang babae na pwede ipagkatiwala sa bahay, di ka matatakot na iwanan siya kasi di magluluko. Kung malandi, pag-alis mo may iba na agad.

“Bro, di mo type si Lilibeth? Gusto ka pa naman nun, siya nga nagpupumilit na ipakilala kita sa kanya kasi type ka niya.

“Nope, she is a flirt. I like a girl that i am the one who will chase with her. Di madaling makuha”; sabi ko kay Jerome.

“Ah kaya pala, di naman pang serious bro, pang experience lang. Kasi game yun, na try ko na nga eh”; pangguguyo pa niya sa akin.

“Mas lalong ayoko, tsk. Pagsaluhan pa natin. Kadiri yun Bro.” supla ko sa kanya. No way i would choose a girl like that, so dirty.

“Ikaw talaga sobrang pihikan, manatili kang virgin niyan. Dyahe bro kapag virgin ka pa at our age. We should explore.”

“I can explore pero sa babae na pwede kung ipagmalaki. Di malandi at di ako mahihiya na kasama siya kasi alam ko di ako pagchismisan sa aking likuran.”

“Sige, hanap tayo ng ganyang babae na gusto mo. Ako ang bahala bro, kayang kaya ko yan.”

Napapalingo na lang ako sa plano niya. I don't know why he wants me to be like them, mga babaero. Most of them may karanasan na sa s*x kahit 15 years old pa lang kami.

Ako nalang ang di pa nagka-girlfriend at walang experience. Di naman ako nagmamadali, I will find a good woman for me. Then naisip ko ang babae sa wall namin.

“Am i attracted to her? I never look at a woman before the way i look at her. Do i have a crush on her as what they usually says? But she is older than me, my dad’s girlfriend. Though dad is older than her, she must still be young as of now. Am i attracted to an older woman?”

Umuwi ako from school na yun ang nasa aking isipan. I will ask dad if how old she is.

I saw dad on our patio, having his cigarette and a beer in his hands. Ganito siya kapag may iniisip.

“Dad”; saad ko while nagmano ako sa kanya.

“Oh bakit maaga kang umuwi ngayon, di ba foundation day ninyo?”

“Yeah but i find it boring, after our dance and a play umuwi na ako.”

“Boring, bakit wala bang mga chics dun?”

“Meron but i don’t like them, maarti, flirt at brat, not my type dad.” pranka kong sabi.

“Hhhaa, at your age marami na akong niligawan noon”; natatawa pa niyang saad. It’s true kasi sabi niya chic-boy daw siya dati.

“Dad, how do you know if you have a crush on someone?”

“Based on my experience, I’m excited to see her every time, siya ang gusto kong makasama lagi, masaya ng araw ko and no dull moments being with her, a different feeling that is hard to explain.”

Napa-isip ako, i feel that to the woman on the wall, even i haven’t meet her yet, the feeling of seeing her soon excites me.

“Why? Have you had a crush already?”

“I don’t know dad, I'm still figuring it out.” I told him the truth.

Tell me again dad about your experience to the woman you loved? So that i have reference if what i had felt now is lust, love, or an admiration, just a crush.”

“It is just a crush coz you are still young. It's normal for teenagers to have a crush. Well with my Rochelle, i feel everything on her. I am super happy that i can dream about us. I am so sure of her, everything revolves around her."

"When you love someone, you are willing to do anything for her; you can sacrifice your feelings just for her happiness and safety. You are willing to swallow your pride just for her. And i know she loves me the same because she is able to accept me again. My mistakes don’t matter to her.”

Masayang saad ni dad as he relieved their memories.

“Continue your story dad, i wanna hear what happen after.” Tumango si dad and begun to narrates his love story.

“As what i said last time that humingi ako ng tawad sa kanya, nong nagkita kami uli. Like the woman i knew na mabait at mapagpatawad, pinatawad niya ako, i told her my reasons. We keep in touch secretly coz his boyfriend is so possessive."

"Few months of seeing, we found out that we still love each other, the feeling wasn't gone. So we continue the relationship and she said she would break up her boyfriend soon, when they see each other. Her boyfriend is working abroad."

"During our relationship is the best feeling I've got. I feel like i am back to our teenage years that only us matter, our relationship lasted for a year."

"We live together, made plans already; i wanted to marry her when things settled, coz she wants to break up her boyfriend first before i bring her to our place."

"Things going so smoothly by then but when she said her boyfriend doesn’t want to break up with her and we need to slow down until her boyfriend can accept that she is not in love with him. So i let her handle the things, i just waited for her decision."

"One day after i came to see her, because i missed her already, i found them together in bed, sleeping naked. That was the biggest pain i have got. I can’t accept that she lied to me, because i don’t see her as that kind of woman. I feel betrayed by her. I don’t communicate with her after that, di ko matanggap."

"Bumalik ako dito sa atin but a few months after she came to me and says she is pregnant with my child but i can’t believe her. I told her everything i saw and she was shock from my words. That time, galit pa ako sa kanya, parang niluko niya ako."

"She cried in front of me, firmly saying that the child is mine and that she was being rape by that man, pinainum ng drugs and now she running away from that man kasi di niya matanggap na ganun ang ginawa sa kanya."

"Still i don’t believe her statement, i was enraged. Kaya umalis siya at simula noon di na kami nagkita pa. I can’t forget her face, how she cried na paniwalaan ko siya."

I see the devastation in dad's look, he's feeling regret.

I can also imagine the suffering Rochelle had been through, running away with nothing and having a child alone. I can feel her pain and I was angry at dad for doing that to her pero di ko ipinahalata.

"That was my biggest regrets, denying and abandoning my woman in time na kailangan niya ako. A lot of questions in my head what if anak ko yun, di ko man lang siya naalagaan. I regret kasi after so many years siya parin, di siya naalis sa aking puso. I told myself if di ko anak yun who cares pwede ako magkapakaama sa kanya as long as kasama ko siya."

"My realization was so late, i promise myself I will keep looking for her, kahit ilan pang taon ang dumaan. She’s the only woman for me ayaw kong bitawan siya."

I feel dad’s agony for losing his love but I feel more for Rochelle because the only man you thought would help you, understands you, know you, abandon you in times you needed him the most. I can’t blamed Rochelle for running away at di na magpakita pa.

Dad is an asshole for what he did.

"Dad, have you ever thought that when you made a mistake of not choosing her , then when you see each other pinatawad ka niya, tinanggap ng walang pag-alinlangan? But at that moment you abandon and never listen to her."

"I know son, i made a terrible mistakes and now i am paying for it." His looks is like a lost puppy.