Should I Be Keeping You

Chapter 5: Clingy

I felt chills and tingle when he kissed me. But I wasn’t really expecting this. Things doesn’t come along my way these days. Am I an unlucky girl because I am not always like this? At least that’s what I believe.

Matapos niya akong mahalikan (which is very unexpected and beyond what I imagined) ay inilayo niya ang mukha niya sa akin at ngumisi ng napakalaki.

I looked at him with disappointment. He smiled because of my reaction and he looked at me with an amusing eyes because he thinks I’m disappointed for what he did.

“Woah.” saad niya at itinaas ang dalawang kamay sa ere. “Why are you looking at me like? Are you disappointed because of what I did? You want more?” he said as he was about to kiss me again.

I hardly put my right hand on his face and push him very hard but enough to send him a meter or two away from me.

“You really are a disappointment Marco.” seryoso kong sabi bago tumalikod sa kanya at nagsimulang maglakad.

I never knew that he will kiss me without my permission and yet, I just stood there waiting for his lips to touch my skin. I was disappointed of him but I am much more disappointed of myself for not reacting quickly and for letting him do that thing. It might give him an idea that I am an easy target for him and I have a crush on him as well.

Naramdaman kong may humawak sa kamay ko at hinarap ako sa kanya. Agad ko itong hinablot mula kay Marco at napaatras ng isang hakbang habang nakaharap sa kanya. Nagulat ako sa kanyang ginawa.

“I’m sorry.” he said after he saw my reaction. “I didn’t mean to kiss your forehead Mira. Do you want it to be on your lips? I have time. I can give you what you wa—” hindi ko na siya pinatapos sa kanyang sasabihin kasi agad ko itong pinutol.

“Don’t be too much proud of yourself Marco. I am dissapointed of you because you never change. You are always straight to the point and that is good, but not with actions Marco. Learn that people are not what you imagined. Well, there may be some but not people like me. Distance yourself from me if you don’t want me to treat yoi invisible and forget that you are part of our circle of friends.” the last thing that I said before I left him there lost with words.

People seems to make fun of others by thinking that they are fine with it and that they can be used to it but, no. Everyone is not like that. And part of that everyone is me. Sino naman kasi ang papayag na hahalikan sila agad-agad ng taong wala nga silang nararamdaman para rito. And over reacting siguro ng paningin ng iba sa akin pero kahit sa noo lamang ang halik na iyon, naging parte pa rin iyon ng buhay ko.

Napailing na lamang ako at nagbuntong-hininga dahil sa mga bagay na nasa isip ko. Deretso lang akong naglakad habang nakatingin sa relo ko. It’s eight forty-five already and I still have fifteen minutes bago magsimula ang klase namin. I decided to walk to the locker room para kunin ang mga libro ko. Our books are already there because after we registered our data for the academic year, books are already given to us. I can say that St. Preston’s Academy is a school where future leaders are made and people who can make a change to the world are taught to be something more and someone unreachable. This school is more than the university’s mission, vision and core values. This is much more.

Nang makarating ako sa locker room at nakuha ang mga librong kailangan ko, may babaeng sumalubong sa akin at nakangiting humarap.

“Hi.” bati niya sa mahinang boses na parang nahihiya siya sa akin.

Tumingin naman ako sa likod ko at nakitang abala ang ibang mga students sa pagkuha ng mga gamit o pag-aayos ng mga locker nila. Tumingin ulit ako sa babae at sa akin talaga siya nakatitig.

“Uhm, hello?” tiningnan ko siya mula ulo hanggang paa at mukhang second year college na ito.

She is wearing the white version of my coat with color red tie and skirt. Iba-iba kasi ang uniform ng mga estudyante dito sa year nila. Sa first year college students, black coat, red tie and skirt atsaka white polo sa loob na kasing-taas lamang ng coat. Araw-araw namang suot ng mga second year students ang white coat, red tie and skirt at white polo na kasing-haba kang din coat. For the third year students, black coat, tie and skirt then white longer polo para sa loob. Para naman sa amin, ay white coat, black tie and skiet atsaka long polo sa loob. Boys have two different uniforms and the black ones with white polo inside will go to the first to third year students while the white version of it will go to the fourth year students. For our identification cards, inilalagay lang namin ang mga ito sa kaliwa ng mga uniforms namin. There’s this chain on our identification cards that we will just attach to the small metal on our uniforms. It’s quite cool and very easy to wear. I don’t need to put it on my neck like I was carrying the biggest problem in the world.

“Hi, uhm, yeah. . . hi.” nauutal siya habang nagsasalita kaya alam ko talagang kinakabahan siya.

“Ako ba ang hanap ko?” tumingin siya sa akin matapos ko iyon sabihin ngunit walang salita na lumalabas mula sa bibig niya. “I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t know you. I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m really sorry. I’m just being honest okay?” tuloy/m-tuloy kong sabi kasi parang mas lalo siyang kinabahan nung sinabi kong hindi ko siya kilala.

“Did I bother you?” tanong niya habang nakatingin sa mga libro na hawak-hawak ko.

“No. It’s fine with me as long as I can help someone. Are you having trouble? I don’t think I can actually help you.” I said nicely to her kasi hindi ko naman alam kung ano ang kailangan niya. And besides, it’s the first day of school pa lang and who knows what this girl need from someone like me.

“Can I have your signature with this picture?” deretso niyang tanong habang ipinapakita sa akin ang litrato ko at ni Marco.

Where did she get this picture and who took it. It’s not that far from where we stand base on the angle and how big are we in the picture.

“Can I ask where did you get this photo?” tanong ko sa babaeng kaharap ko ngayon.

Kuha sa litrato ang mukha kong nakasimangot at mukha ni Marco na halos mamatay na sa kakatawa. That photo was taken last year, if I am not mistaken, the date if february sixteen during our art exhibit on the school grounds. That’s a month a before the ending of the school year so we, art students decided to showcase our works and we also held an auction for us to renew our art room and make it more bigger for the materials and the artists.

“I had that three months ago already and the photography club had that with them since last year. They are selling photos on their possessions since they will take new photos this academic year.” mahabang paliwanag niya sa akin at natahimik na lamang ako.

The photography club are selling photos of the students without asking for permission or even noticing us that they will print out images containing our faces.

“Do they print lots of copies per image? And what about their pricing?” tanong ko sa babae na ngayon ay ibinaba na niya ang larawan ko.

“Their pricing are not on minimum rate but it is not too much as well. Also, they print one copy per image only thats is why their prices are high because the image is only for one person. Another thing, if they found out that someone is releasing many copies of the image that they bought from the photography club, they will sue that person and tell the dean about the matter.” mahabang saad niya sa akin.

I was relieved because I am one of those victimes who was sold without even having a single share. That’s my freaking face but I have nothing. Not even a single cent or a burger king to cover up the hunger that I am feeling right now.

Medyo napahaba ang pag-uusap namin ng babaeng ito and I still have eight minutes left para makapunta sa silid ko. I looked at the girl and smiled at her as a thank you.

“Thank you for the news.” wika ko habang nilampasan siya. “Now I need to go because I still have my class. Bye!” paalam ko at deretso ang takbo paalis.

Dinig ko namang isinigaw niya ang pangaln ko pero umasta akong parang walang naririnig at deretso ang akyat sa taas.

Nang makarating ako sa hallway, kita kong hindi pa naman bukas ang silid at nasa labas pa ang iba kong mga kaklase. Ang iba sa kanila ay nag-aayos ng mga buko at make-up nila. May iba ring nag-uusap lamang at tiyak akong nagkakamustahan sila at nagpapayabangan sa kung sino ang mas may maganda at magarang bakasyon. May iba sa kanila ang pumunta ng ibang bansa, may nag hiking, may nag beach at yung iba naman ay naging tambay lang sa bahay at ninanamnam ang pagiging mapag-isa at stress ng college.

Nadaanan ko rin ang isang grupo ng mga babae na nakahawak sa mga kanya-kanya nilang litrato at may iba sa kanila ang kinikilig at may iba namang hinahalik-halikan ang litrato. Patay na patay na ba talaga sila sa pag-ibig at kung ano-ano na ang mga bagay na ginagawa nila?

I sighed in disbelief and decided to settle myself on the end of the hallways where none of my classmates are here and where I can see if the professor comes in or not.

Three minutes before nine, nakita ko si Marcong umaakyat papunta sa floor kung saan ako kaya agad akong tumalikod at nagpanggap na nagbabasa ng mga messages sa phone kahit na wala naman talagang nag m-message sa akin at kailanma’y tanging sina mom at dad lang ang magbibigay mensahe sa akin.

Tumalikod ako para hindi niya ako makita at kinalikot ang librong hawak ko. Deretso naman ang lakad niya at lumapit sa mga lalaki at nakipag hand-shake sa kanilang lahat. As I look at him, he seems like a good person. I mean, I know Marco since my first year in college, maybe before that but I never got the chance to even know him more. All I knew about him is that he is a good artist, his name, age, and nothing more. Iyan din siguro ang isa sa mga rason ko kung bakit ayokong mapalapit ng lubusan sa kanya. It is because I never really knew anything about him even the most basic informations.

“Good morning students!” narinig ko ang sigaw ng professor namin for the first subject class.

“Good morning.” bati naming lahat sa kanya.

Binuksan niya ang pintuan ng silid at agad kaming pumasok sa loob dahil sa aircon. Mainit kasi sa labas dahil malapit na ring magtanghalian at ang lakas ng sikat ng araw lalo na dito sa palapag namin. Pumasok na rin ako sa loob at umupo sa likod na part ng silid kasi hindi ko talaga as in masyado gusto kapaga nasa harap o nasa gitna ang upuan ko.

Nagsimula na ang professor namin sa pagsasalita sa harap habang kami naman ay matiyagang nakikinig sa kanya. Habang dahan-dahan ang mga paliwanag niya tungkol sa kung ano itinuturo niya sa harap, biglang lumapit si Marco sa akin at lumapit sa bakanteng upuan na nasa tabi ko.

“Hello there.” bati niya sa akin na may nakakalokong ngiti.

Hindi ko siya pinansin ngunit pinilit niya akong iharap sa kanya ang mukha ko.

“Why are you avoiding me Mira? Are you still angry because of what I did earlier when you just got here in school. That is my welcome party for you.“ maloko niyang wika habang pataas-baba pa ang dalawang kilay niya.

“Marco, can you give me at least a week to not be bothered by you. You seem to be there always kung kailan ako pagod and I can’t entertain your evil thoughts and doings right now.” seryoso kong sabi sa kanya habang nakikinig sa professor namin na nagsasalita habang may isinusulat sa board.

“Mira, do you know what other people usually call me?” he asked a question out of nowhere.

“And what does that question has to do with me trying to control your visiting hours?” I asked annoyingly.

“They called me clingy because Mira, I am a clingy type of person.” he said.