Sought To Love You

Chapter 5 Not a stranger

Miles and I talk few things while jogging before kami umuwi. Madali pala siyang pakisamahan. He is nice and a gentleman kaya agad napapalagay ang aking loob. Di na ako masyadong nahihiya unlike kahapon. That was really awkward.

"So Dia you said bago ka lang dito. Kailan ka pa napunta sa lugar na ito? Saan ka galing?" Walang paligoy ligoy niyang tanong at mukhang sanay siyang magtagalog.

"Ah galing ako ng probinsya. Napunta lang ako dito para alagaan ang property ng Ate ko at saka dito na rin siguro ako maghahanap ng trabaho." Kaswal kong sagot.

"What line of work you're trying to look for?"

"Nutritionist ako kaya pwede ako sa Department of Health o di kaya sa hospital or pwede rin sa any private health organizations. I can also accept direct clients as their health coach. Honestly di ko pa alam kong ano ba talaga ang gagawin ko. I'm a newly graduate kaya wala pa akong experience."

"Well take your time. As you said kagagraduate mo pa lang. You need to enjoy first bago ka maghanap ng trabaho kasi once makapasok ka na, you will be busy. You deserve to have a break as schooling is not easy." He has a point.

"Yun na nga siguro at saka I need to familiarize this place, the ways of life here in the city."

"Yeah it will be a lot of adjustment for you. But don't worry, I'm here you can count on me. I can help you out in any sort if you need to." I feel overwhelmed kasi how can a stranger offer me his help?

"We are practically stranger pero bakit ang bait mo sa akin?"

"Well, we are not stranger anymore. And we're neighbors as well." I just a smiled at him. Saka ko napansin na nasa harap na pala kami ng bahay namin.

"Hey if you're up for a jog tomorrow, can I hit you? It's nice to have someone to go with rather na mag-isa ako."

My mind allerted, does he flirts with me? Wala man akong experience sa pagkipagboyfriend pero di naman ako bobo na di mahalata ang kilos niya o baka I am just assuming.

"Yeah sure, just buzz me here." Sakay ko na din sa kanya at least di ako mahihirapan sa plano kong kausapin siya tungkol sa aking kapatid.

"Okay, catch you up tomorrow." Sabay jogging pauwi sa bahay niya.

Nakapasok na ako sa bahay pero ang utak ko busy parin sa pag-analyze sa mga bagay.

If magkapareho sila ng trabaho at may time na magkasama pa sa ilang project ni Ate, ibig sabihin there is a chance na may nalalaman si Miles sa lalaking nalilink sa kanya or if may boyfriend ba si Ate or anyone who might have an interest on her.

My sister is a beautiful woman no doubt. Some says may similarities kami ng mukha ni Ate. At di naman sa pagmamayabang I'm pretty as well. Maraming nanliligaw sa akin sa amin at may mga sinasabi pa sa buhay kaya lang di kasama ang pagkikipagboyfriend sa plano ko that time.

I believe the right person for me will come kahit di ko hanapin saka bata pa ako. I'm still in my prime at the age of 22.

Miles is handsome, I know nagkakagusto ako sa kanya for the first time kaya lang wala pa yan sa plano ko lalo na ngayon. If he offers me a help I must grab it.

I plan to spend the day cleaning the house, rearranging everything here at itatapon ang di na magagamit. Baka may makikita pa ang mga ebidensya na makatulong sa aking plano.

I sort lahat ng gamit ni Ate, pwede kong magamit ang kanyang damit. Kapatid ko naman siya at magkasize kami. I want to relive her memories, ayoko siyang kalimutan. Her things are my reminder of her.

Sa aking paglilinis may nakita akong album. Interested akong makita ang mga larawan niya.

May pictures siya na rumarampa sa runway. She looks so beautiful. May pictures din siya na nakatoga. Kinuha ko yun at tiningnan ng maigi. May note pala sa likod ng picture.

"This achievement is the symbol of my hardwork, my fight against life. I wish I can share this moment with my sister, one day makikita ko rin siya. I dedicate this achievement to my family."

Napapaluha ako sa message niya. I touch her face in the picture, para siyang buhay sa larawan na ito.

"Ate, wag kang mag-alala, di mababaliwala ang mga sakripisyo mo. I will find justice for you at mananagot ang dahilan ng iyong paghihirap. Panunumpa ko yan." My tears are falling rapidly.

"Bakit di tayo nabigyan ng enough na time na magkasama bago ka nawala? I was ready Ate, bakit iniwan mo ako agad? Kung alam ko lang na mangyayari ito sana sumama na ako noon sayo baka buhay ka pa ngayon." Panaghoy ng aking puso.

Hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili na sisihin, maraming sana. Even how I tried na maging matatag at di magpadala sa damdamin pero kapag ganitong scenario bumabalik ako sa dati, nanghihina, nalulungkot at namimiss ko siya.

Wala man lang kaming pictures together nong bata pa kami na nasa album na ito. The pictures I see here nong nagkita kami 3 years ago at pinaprint pala niya yun.

"I love you so much Ate at di ka mawawala sa aking puso kahit kailanman." Sambit ko as i close the album. I need to gather myself and be ready on my plan.

Maaga pa lang, niready ko na ang sarili for my morning run. It's earlier that I usually get up. Aminin kong I'm a little excited for this jog dahil sa isang tao.

"Kalma ka self, di ka narito para makipaglandian kundi may kailangan ka sa kanya." Saway ko sa aking sarili. Ito ata ang resulta kapag namuhay kang mag-isa, wala kang choice kundi kausapin ang sarili.

Di nagtagal may narinig akong nag-doorbell. Kaya nagmamadali akong buksan ang pintuan.

There I see him wearing his cutest smile na nagpapakaba sa akin. I tried to calm myself.

"Hi, good morning."

"Good morning din sayo." Buti nalang di ako nag-shutter.

We started jogging patungo sa park. Marami kaming napag-usapan. He's articulate at di boring kasama. Maraming siyang nalalaman at isini-share niya yun.

"Ahmm Miles gaano mo kakilala ang Ate ko? May nalalaman ka ba sa kanya like anything? It might be personal or job related." Nakita ko ang pagkunot ng kanyang noo. He may not understand why I'm asking all these.

"Don't get me wrong. Matagal kasi kaming di nagkasama at ngayon na wala na siya, nangangapa ako sa dilim. I want to know her more, relive her memories para naman maibsan ang kalungkutan sa aking puso." It's true I want all those.

"Are you talking about Allie? What do you mean na wala na siya?" Naguguluhan din ako sa tanong niya.

"Patay na ang Ate ko kaya ako narito to settle her properties left for me. Wala ka bang alam sa nangyari sa kanya. Dito sya namatay at di ko man lang siya nakita sa huling sandali."

"I don't know about that. Paano mo nalaman na wala na siya? Actually wala din ako dito kaya siguro wala akong nalalaman. I just came back recently." Ah kaya pala di niya nabalitaan ang about sa Ate ko.

"I just received a telegram and a letter saying na wala na siya. She committed a suicide at yun ang masakit kasi we had a lot of plans. Matagal kaming nagkalayo but wala na siya when I'm ready to go with her." It's painful reliving those memories.

"I missed her a lot. Day and night siya lang ang naisip ko kaya I wanted to know more about her. Small things but it will help me to grieve."

I feel Miles arms on my shoulder. Then he looks at me sympathetically.

"I understand what you mean. Losing someone is painful, lalo na at kapamilya mo. I would be the same if that happens to me. If that could help, I can share to you what I knew about her." Masaya ako sa naging turn ng usapan namin.

"I first saw her in my first gig as a model of a certain clothing. She approaches me, alam siguro niya na kinakabahan ako kaya she boasted my confidence. She says na sa una lang mahihiya ako but after ko makita that audience like me mawawala din ang kaba. I just need to be confident in the runway para makuha ko ang attention ng madla and it did worked. Kaya ako nagpapasalamat sa kanya."

Ganun pala ang karanasan niya kay Ate.

"Next namin na encounter ay mga photoshoot and gigs for small commercial. Di kami palaging magkasama kasi nga I'm not a full time model. I have my full time job. I just do it if my agent needs an emergency back up and if may agarang project but her clients is so choosy."

Yun lang ang encounter niya sa Ate ko? Have I put my hopes up again thinking this person can give me the information I need?

"May nalalaman ka bang lalaking na-involve sa kanya? I'm just trying to know what's the reason behind ng kanyang pagpapakamatay. She is very smart, strong woman para lang magpakamatay. I just can't see the point." Vulnerable kong saad pa. This time I'm being honest to him.

"Yeah I see her the same way too. Mabait, palakaibigan, may mataas na pacensya, brave and I'm also shocked when you told me na nagpapakamatay siya at wala na. That was shocking really. I don't see her as a weak woman na maisipang magpakamatay."

Nakita ko na Miles still struggling to believe what I just told him. Siguro nga na shocked talaga siya sa balita.

"But I don't have idea about any guys being related to her in a very personal manner. All I know is marami ang nagkakagusto sa kanya. She's a very beautiful woman kaya no wonder some guys would show interest." Is he also interested in her? Napapaisip ako tuloy.

"Isa ka ba dun sa mga lalaking nagkakagusto sa kanya?" Pranka kong sabi. I need to know baka nakipagkaibigan lang siya dahil kapatid ko ang babaing gusto niya and I can't handle that.

"Oh no. She's gorgeous but I don't have interest in her in deeper level like wanting her to be my girlfriend. I appreciated her but I don't have that kind of feelings."

Iwan ko ba ng sinabi niya yun my heart escape for a bit, nabunutan ako ng tinik. I think I need to put a distance between us. He is dangerous to my heart. His likes is too much for me, he's out of my league ika nga. Sa kagwapuhan niya imposible na walang girlfriend.

"So it means wala kang nababalitaan that someone may have link in her recently?"

"Wala eh. I was busy with work at di na ako halos nagmomodel this past 2 years. I was busy running my business. Though I see her sometimes dito sa lugar natin, you know neighbors. Sometimes we chat about her work but it doesn't take longer."

I guess it's another failed investigation I have. Putting so much expectations on certain things na wala pang kasiguraduhan.

"Do you happen to know someone name Andrew Willard? Or do you somehow have an idea or heard his name in the modeling industry?" Decide kong tanong. Wala naman akong makukuha sa lalaking ito. This might be our last encounter.

"Andrew Willard? Yeah I knew him. What about him?" May pagtataka pa niyang wika. But my heart jump as I heard his response. He knows him.

Is this my chance to know that guy through Miles? Will I be fail again? Will I take the chance?