Gamma's Unexpected Love

Chapter 7

Lilian pov

The next morning was busy. Adaline had a whole day planned, and she came bursting into my room with a bright smile on her face. What was wrong with this girl that she was always so cheery and able to be fully awake in the morning? Then I felt bad, remembering she was forced to wake up at like five or four in the morning all the time to be a slave to her parents so of course, her body was used to it. I sat up with a groan and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes as Adaline opened all my windows and took a deep breath, looking outside.

“Where’s my hoodie?” I mumbled, covering my eyes from the bright sunlight.

She turned around and shrugged sheepishly, changing the subject. “I’ve picked out a cute outfit for you to wear for breakfast, after that we will be going straight to a spa. We will be getting pampered all day, are you excited?” She asked all bubbly.

I held back my shudder and tried my best to smile at her, knowing she’s just trying to give me a great birthday weekend. The thought of people putting their hands all over me disturbed me though, and I couldn’t quite convince her with my face smile. She wasn’t discouraged though, and she walked over to me and pulled me from the bed.

I stared at her in astonishment, noticing she was wearing a spaghetti-strapped cream-colored dress and knee-high boots, her hair tied to the side with a scarf. So much of her arms and back were showing, and when she turned around to walk to the chair to grab the clothes she picked out for me, every scar on her back was in full view.

She jumped as I put my fingertips on her scars, and I backed away from her apologizing profusely. When did I even walk over to her? Why did I touch them? They looked just like mine. Adaline turned to study my face, and with a smile she turned her back on me again, coming to stand near me.

“I use to be ashamed of my scars.” She said, making me jump. “I hid them all the time, I felt ugly and deformed. When I found out I was mated to Tate, I was scared that my scars would turn him off, that he’d reject me then and there.” She said.

Softly I placed my hands on her back again, finding the spot where her crescent moon was hidden deeply under the scars. “What happened?” I asked softly.

She turned around and grabbed my hand, holding it gently in both her own. She smiled softly at me, her eyes glazed over as if she was in a memory. “He saved me the night I was getting beaten by my stepfather for the last time. He came to the house and swooped down the stairs like a superhero, punching my stepfather in the face.” She said with a chuckle. “He scooped me into his arms and took me to his room, to the bathroom, and from there in the light, he moved my hair and could see everything.” She paused, her face falling down to our conjoined hands.

“I remember I told him how ugly I was and how I expected him to reject me from the sight. But he didn’t agree with me.” She said softly.

“What did he say?” I asked when the pause grew too large.

She looked up at me with her beautiful ice blue eyes and smiled softly. “He said I was beautiful. He said he thought the scars were beautiful, that they showed how strong I was, how I was able to survive being abused for so long and not breaking. It took a while, but I grew to see what he saw. Now I wear my scars proudly because I’m strong enough to see how beautiful I truly am.” She said with a bright smile.

I nodded softly. She was different from me, she truly was beautiful, I was nothing. She noticed me puzzling over my thoughts and she spoke again. “You were tortured every single day for months relentlessly in such horrific ways I don’t think you fully understand how close to dying you were. You were questioned constantly and you never once cracked under the pressure, under the constant pain being inflicted on you. Sevra was the one who betrayed all of the secrets, and you never did even when you knew about trap doors that ultimately led to us winning the battle. Nothing about you is simple or not important, you’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known, and your scars are just as beautiful as mine.”

I stumbled backward slightly under her bright smile, tears prickling the backs of my eyes. My breathing was coming out rocky and I knew it was going to be hard to stop myself from crying. She thought I was strong? She thought I was beautiful? Then why did I feel like I was so worthless and ugly?

I tried my best to smile at her, that was all I could manage without bursting into tears. She seemed to know, and she patted my fingers lightly before letting them go. “This is the outfit for this morning, we’ll all be waiting for you.” She said with a smile as she walked out the door.

Slowly I walked over to the outfit and stripped out of my pajamas, slipping the new outfit on. I looked at myself in the mirror over the dresser, noticing it was a pretty pure white sundress. The straps were a thin spaghetti strap and a corset type look to the top of it complete with a string at the top for me to tie into a bow. The skirt hung down to my knees in beautiful ruffles and I looked down at my bare arms and my bare legs in disgust. She was kind enough to allow me a black long-sleeved overcoat that cut off just under my boobs and buttoned in the front along with black tights, and I stared at them while I contemplated. Should I listen to her and show my scars proudly? Then I imagined all of the humans staring at me and mocking me, pointing at me behind their hands and whispering at me, and I wished for the hundredth time that Caileen hadn’t hidden my hoodie somewhere. I nearly destroyed the room last night searching for it after I woke from a horrible nightmare.

Finally, with a sigh I slipped on the overcoat and the tights, feeling miserable like I’ve disappointed Adaline as I did it. She had laid out a silver dewdrop necklace for me but I placed it gently on the dresser, clasping the one Kurt gave me around my neck instead. I stared at myself in the mirror, everything Adaline said coming back to my mind again as my tears started to prickle in my eyes once more.

I slumped down to the carpet and sat on my legs, staring down at my knees as tears freely fell from my eyes.

‘Why so sad, pretty girl?’ I looked up into honey-colored eyes staring diagonal to me and fell backward onto my butt.

‘Were you playing with knives again, pretty girl?’ He asked softly, his pure white hair shining in the crisp morning light. I shook my head no, my throat full of unshed tears. Lightly he traced the faded scars on my wrists, his fingers feeling like nothing but air against my skin as they slightly went through my skin. ‘Did you know, I was told once, that Angels hurt themselves because they are too pure for the Earth and long to return to the Heavens. You’re an Angel, Lilian. I know it’s hard to be on the Earth, but I hope you can continue to live, to grow, and stay by my side.’ Derrick said with a smile, mirroring what he said to me so long ago when he found me in the orphanage.

“But you’re dead. What’s the point of living to stay by your side if you’re not here anymore?” I cried out with a sob. I missed Derrick so much, he was like the big brother I always wished I had.

Of course, he couldn’t answer that, be only reminded me of what he spoke so long ago. He lifted his finger from my wrist and traced it along with my tear down my cheek, the air tingling against my cheek as the tear continued to roll down my face. ‘Be the little sister I always wished I could have. Come with me, be my Gamma, and I promise I’ll always protect you.’ He whispered with a smile.

“It was supposed to be me protecting you!” I choked out at his smiling face. “I couldn’t protect you, how could I remain being a Gamma? I don’t deserve it.” I said with a thick voice from the tears.

He stood up and held out his hand, as if for me to take and rise to my feet. I didn’t take his hand, but I stood all the same, noticing he was still taller than me, even in a memory of his childhood. He smiled brightly at me, and I remembered how as a child it mesmerized me, how beautiful this boy was, and how happy. I wanted to follow him wherever he went, no matter what. ‘Come pretty girl, wipe your tears, let’s have a healer look at your wrists. From today onwards you’ll be living with me in the royal packhouse, forever at my side. I just know you will be the best Gamma there ever was, I have faith in you, little sister.’ He said softly, leaning forward and kissing my cheek.

I closed my eyes as I felt the air floating around my face, my tears drying as a calmness stilled around me. I opened my eyes and he was gone.

“I should have stayed by your side that day, instead of following Ulric in his panic. Even though you commanded us all to follow him and see why he was distressed, I should have stayed by your side and protected you. How can I be a Gamma when I couldn’t even do what I was supposed to do? I deserve nothing.” I whispered, staring down at my clenched hands. “I deserve nothing at all.”

I took a deep breath and tried my best to center myself, walking over to the dresser, and drying my face. I was glad Caileen left makeup there, and I quickly put a light coat of foundation on my red splotchy face. I brushed a tiny bit of blush on my cheeks and a vision of me watching my mother applying makeup popped into my head, making me have to try my best not to cry all over again.

I took a deep breath and opened the door, trying my best to smile.