Hammer

13 - To be a gentleman

Hammer

Convincing Willow to be my girl was almost too easy; anybody would think she’d wanted it forever. For all I know, what people told me is true; she has. But I’m only just realizing the looks she’s always thrown my way really did mean a lot more than I thought they did.

I never noticed much before – Lies – because she was the little sister of my brother’s best friend, the daughter of the man who took my brother and me in when our parents died. And then she was the best friend of the woman I loved.

Somewhere along the line, I fell for her. Loving Willow doesn’t mean I’ll ever forget Cindy and what we had. No. She’ll always have a place in my heart where I’ll keep her safe. But Willow needs me now; she needs my love and guidance.

And the truth is?

I need her, too.

Willow was worried there that I was tricking her into going to the safe house with the others. I would never do that to her. There’s no way I’d claim Willow to get her to do what I wanted. I want her, and I won’t deny it any longer.

“Thank God your t-shirt is so long.” Willow giggles as she walks out of the bathroom adjoined to my bedroom, her head down, and pulls at the middle of the shirt she just changed into.

I convinced Willow to stay with me tonight, even if it was just to hold her while we slept. I don’t want her to go anywhere right now. I need her here with me, in my arms. I’ve waited long enough to feel her in my arms.

God, I can’t help smiling at her from my seat on the edge of my bed. Those perfectly toned, olive-tanned legs leading up to... Damn.

“What?” She asks quietly, nervously, while tucking a strand of brown hair behind her ear. Hair that I’m not even sure she had falling from her hair tie.

“Come here, baby girl.” She takes my held-out hand, and I gently pull her onto my lap. Her perfect curves mold against me like she was made just for me. And in all honesty, I’m not sure she wasn't. “Don’t be nervous. We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”

Even if my dic.k is straining to get out.

Sonofabitch doesn’t care what my brain is telling him. It’s been a damn long time since I got my dic.k wet. And it’s like he knows this woman is my soul mate – can you find your soul mate twice? – and it needs her as much as I do.

Yes, I said that. Soul mate. I loved Cindy with all my heart; if she was still here, we’d still be together. But she’s not here, and this beautiful woman in my lap right now is, without a doubt, my soul mate.

God gave this beautiful woman to me; he gave me a second chance at love. He gave me my soul mate and nothing, and no one is gonna take her away from me. Willow is the one I won’t survive without. If taken from me, she’s the one who I’d die right along with. No joke.

I barely survived losing Cindy, but I know now that I did because Willow was in my life, showing me I had to carry on. Losing Willow would ruin me. Literally.

She’s mine now. Mine and I will protect her with my life.

Shepard might have my balls on a platter for this, but it’ll be worth it. Willow is worth it all.

Willow wraps her little arms around my neck. My petite little lady. So small compared to the monster that I am. “I’m sorry, I just never thought this would happen.” She motions between us. “Don’t get me wrong, I wanted it to happen. But...” She lowers her head.

This girl never could keep anything from me, not really. I blame the grief for the fact I didn’t see how much she wanted to be with me sooner. But right now, I know what’s bothering her.

I reach behind her neck and unclip the choker she wears to hide the scar along her throat. Her whole body is stiff, scared, and nervous. As soon as I remove it, Willow lowers her head in shame. She has nothing to be ashamed of.

“Don’t hide.” I tilt her chin up.

Ah damn, Willow’s eyes are glistening with unshed tears. I’m not trying to hurt her and make her cry; merely show her that she is perfect in every way.

I grip her throat so gently I’m hardly touching her. She whimpers a little, but I need her to know she’s safe with me. I will never hurt her. Nor will I let anyone else hurt her again.

I slide my thumb along the length of her scar. It’s not huge, but it’s big enough. It’s too big for any woman to have. It is too big for a little girl like Willow. It’s still a little swollen, but it’s healing nicely. Thank God.

“You never have to hide, Willow.”

“I just don’t want people to stare at me. He may not have cut me deep enough to kill me instantly, but he left enough damage behind to last me a lifetime. It took me weeks to regain my voice, and I’m still not fully healed.”

“Battle scars, baby.” I stroke her jaw with my thumb, and she smiles. “This scar is part of you now, Will. If you don’t want others to see it, that’s fine, but I won’t have you hide from me. You don’t need to hide from me.”

She smiles and lays her pretty little head on my shoulder. I’m a giant monster of a man. Willow is short and petite; even though she believes herself to be a big girl, she isn’t. Yeah, she’s curvy. But fuc.k, stick-thin women don’t get my dic.k jumpin’, I like to feel a woman’s curves when I’m fuckin’ her. Willow is perfect. Perfect for me. But shi.t if I don’t feel like I’m holding a fuckin’ China doll.

God, if I was any kind of bastard, I’d fuc.k the shi.t outta her right now and make her mine completely. If she was any other woman, I would. But she’s Willow, and I want to do this right. No matter how long it takes, I’ll wait. I haven’t had se.x in over two and a half years; a bit longer isn’t gonna kill me.

I try to repress a groan when Willow kisses the side of my neck. My coc.k is now wide awake. It hasn’t been this awake in a very fuckin.g long time. Her little hand slides up and down my chest, and I grab her hand sharply.

“I’m sorry.” She whispers while lifting her head from my shoulder.

I take her chin in my hand and smile at how fuckin.g beautiful she really is. “Don’t be sorry, baby. I’m just trying to be a gentleman here.”

She bursts out laughing. “Oh, Hammer. You’re a big bad outlaw biker, not a gentleman.”

I gently lay Willow down on my bed. Her head on my pillow. Her big hazel eyes are wide and looking right into mine. “You think I can’t be a gentle man?”

She strokes my face with her fingertips, and I feel it all the way to the tip of my aching coc.k. “I know you can.” She says softly. Her eyes are locked with mine. Held strong and tight.

Something is shifting between us; something amazing is happening. I can feel it in my gut. My heart is pounding in the best way. I can’t stop looking at her, etching everything about her into my brain. Her soft, flawless skin, her big hazel eyes, her full lips, even that damn scar on her neck.