Hammer

Welcome to book 4 in the Snakes Henchmen MC series! This is Hammer and Willow's story! Don't forget to comment if you're reading! I hope you enjoy the book :) Hammer I own everything I’ve been through in this life. The loss of my parents when I was twenty. The loss of my fiancée two and half years ago. The men I’ve killed. The lives I’ve ruined. Maybe I deserve to lose so much for the things I have done. But that doesn’t mean it gets easier to take. Loss became normal to me at a very early age. It became part of my very being. I was prepared for it all. The life I lead doesn’t leave much room not to be ready for death. It becomes as much a part of living as existing does. What I wasn’t prepared for was almost losing Willow the same way I lost Cindy, my fiancée. Kidnapped, throat slit, watching her die. The only difference is I wasn’t there when Cindy was killed. I had to watch it all through a video link. With Willow, I was right there. I saw the whole thing. I kept her alive until she was ripped from my arms. Ain’t no man on this earth could ever tell me that he wouldn’t shed a scared tear seeing a woman that means the world to him almost lose her life like that. I don’t give a fuc.k if you’re a biker, a doctor, a lawyer, or just a lazy all-out fuckin’ bum. We all eat, sleep, bleed, sh.t, and fuc.k the same. And I did cry. By myself, I cried for her. She’s not just any woman. Willow was Cindy’s best friend and mine also. She’s the daughter of the President of Snakes Henchmen, my President. The girl I have been slowly falling for over the past few months while trying not to at the same time. I already knew that I needed to stay away from her. I knew she’d be killed if she was ever to be with me. I’m cursed. I fully believe that. I would never risk it. Never risk anything happening to Willow that would mean I lost her completely. The trouble is, she was almost killed without me. Willow is smart, beautiful, kind, and everything a man could ever dream of in a woman. Her long dark hair and big hazel eyes, those long legs, bubble butt, perfect pert tit.s – yeah, I’ve looked, any man with eyes can’t help but look at her – drive me crazy. I started noticing Willow when she reached the age of eighteen. She seemed to mature in body overnight. She walked into the clubhouse one day wearing the most beautiful, tight white cocktail dress. Every curve of her body was emphasized. My fuckin’ jaw dropped. I’d never seen her look so beautiful. She was there to see her dad, our Prez, Shepard. Fuc.k knows what for, I didn’t hang around long enough to find out. Now, I could say I went out and fucke.d some slut to the image of Willow walking in the clubhouse that day. It wasn’t the case. I wanted Willow, not a fake imitation. No, I went to the gym and beat the frustration and want out of me. I shouldn’t have wanted Willow the way I did. I had known her since she was born. But I’m just a man, dammit! I couldn’t approach her, tell her how she made me feel; Shepard would have killed me. Simple. He would have killed any one of us who dared so much as look at his daughter that way. What father wouldn’t? Sure, he’s a proud biker. He also knows what a biker is like. Most of these men fuc.k anything that moves, including me once upon a time. Not every man just wants to fuc.k a woman and walk away, but most do. I’d be a liar if I said they didn’t. If they don’t have a girlfriend or wife, who’s to say they shouldn’t fuc.k whoever they want? But Shepard rightly wanted more than that for Willow. I couldn’t fault him for it. So, I stayed away from her. A couple years later, I met Cindy again after years of her being away. I soon forgot my want for Willow. I hadn’t seen Cindy in years, not since her sister’s wedding. She was too young for me then, which was ridiculous when she was the same age as Willow. Eighteen at the time. But I had Willow on my mind back then, I didn’t even look at Cindy once, to be honest. But the day she came back into my life when she was twenty-one, she grabbed my attention and kept it until the day she died. People often told me to go out, get laid, move on. But I never did. Hell, I haven’t fucke.d anyone since Cindy was killed. Probably sounds crazy for a biker when fuckin’ is what we do, among other things. But I can’t even look at another woman without feeling like I’m cheating on Cindy. I guess that’s what I didn’t understand. When it came to Willow, there was no guilt, no feelings of cheating on Cindy. I would hear her voice in my head sometimes, Cindy’s. She’d tell me, ‘It’s okay to move on, handsome. It’s okay to love Willow. She loves you. Believe me, she has always loved you.’ I knew that. I’ve always known that. Even when I fell for Cindy because I did fall for her. Shi.t, I feel so hard for her. I knew Willow loved me. The girl has loved me since she was a little girl. She never made any secret of her feelings for me back then. I asked myself a couple times why I never fell for her in return. Why she never came to me and told me directly how she felt. I just put it down to the fact Shepard would never have allowed our pairing. He would never have allowed me to claim her. Willow never held any ill will toward Cindy because she was the one with me and not Willow. She was nothing but supportive. Not a malicious bone in her beautiful body. She was that kind of friend. But I try not to question it. God has a plan for us all, and his plan for me was Cindy. He may have only given her to me for a short while, and I don’t know, maybe he gave her to me and then took her away because my destiny is Willow. But I refuse to believe it. I refuse to be anything to that girl but a friend. But as I watch her sleeping, covered in bandages from her neck to her wrists, due to the injuries inflicted upon her because of those motherfucker.s who took her, I know I can’t even be that to her now. It’s true; I love her in my own way, and I love her enough to walk away. I’ll always be there for her, in the background, making sure she’s okay, and I’ll make sure every damn day I’m alive that no one gets near her again. I’ll kill anyone who tries to hurt her. Oh, trust me, I’ll kill them in the worst fuckin’ way! I don’t know where the hell I go from here. I don’t even know yet if Willow will ever recover from what she’s been through. But I do know that she’s strong, she’ll pull herself back from this. And I will keep my distance. If for nothing else but to keep her from the curse that belongs to me. I’ve spoken to Willow for a few moments today, day three of her recovery. She can’t speak; her throat needs to heal. But she reached out her hand to me, tears streaming down her face. I kissed her knuckles, trying to hide my own emotions from her. But it killed me to see her like that. So pale, so withdrawn. She fell asleep quite quickly, but Shepard told me she does that often. All the painkillers keep her drowsy. It’s better for her if she sleeps. She’ll heal quicker if she sleeps. I should have left by now; I shouldn’t have been in this room alone with her. I didn’t think my heart could possibly break anymore, but it’s completely shattered now. But I didn’t lose Willow completely; she’s still alive and still fighting to survive. I’m alone in the room with her, holding her hand and stroking the hair back from her forehead. It’ll hurt her when I don’t come around anymore. I just hope she understands that I can’t go through all of this again. I can’t allow myself to fall any deeper; it will only end up with her being killed. And there won't be any saving her next time. She wouldn’t survive it. I lean down and kiss her head, not really wanting to pull away from her but knowing that I have to. “You will always be in my heart, Will. And I will always be there to protect you. But I can’t come around here anymore. Please understand.” I whisper, knowing she can’t hear me in her sleep, but somehow hoping she can. I’m outta there so fast my feet don’t touch the ground. I couldn’t fuckin’ breathe in there! I need to get the fuc.k on my bike and ride against the wind. I need to get my fuckin’ dic.k wet before I explode! Maybe if I do, I’ll finally get rid of these thoughts about Willow, these damn visions of her lying there bleeding out. I see it so clearly every time I close my eyes, even when they’re open. I’m going fuckin’ crazy because of it. I need to beat this shi.t outta me. The gym, that’s what I need. Adrenaline.