Hammer

21 - I am so embarrassed!

Willow

I haven’t seen much of my dad and brother this week, hardly anything of my brother-in-law, and less of Hammer. It sucks that I’m asleep by the time he gets home, and he’s gone by the time I wake up. It’s starting to piss me off.

I’m slowly going crazy stuck in this house, so today, I’m going to work. Fuc.k what I’ve been told, I cannot stay in this house doing nothing.

I know I shouldn’t risk it after what happened last time I snuck out, but I can’t be a prisoner here. I just can’t. I’ll be careful this time. I’m not stupid. I won’t risk my safety, but I won’t stay in this house looking at four walls any longer. Besides, my boss is expecting me now.

I’m up and showered, dressed in my navy two-piece skirt suit, white blouse, and matching heels. My hair is tied up in a ponytail, and my makeup is light. I like to look professional on my way to work. Even though I don't technically need to dress so formally, I like to now and again.

My dad will be beyond pissed when he finds out I left the house and went to work, and Hammer will go ballistic at me and more than likely lock me up like an actual prisoner and not let me outside until this whole thing is over, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take.

I mean, seriously, how long do they think I can call in sick for?

It could be months before any of this crap is sorted. I’d lose my job! I worked hard to become an elementary school teacher, and I want to keep the job I love.

It was bad enough that Hammer made me call in and tell them I needed a little more sick time because I wasn’t quite ready to return. My boss was understanding, but she won’t be forever.

Are we all seriously meant to hide away like rats in holes because of the idiot.s threatening us?

I know it could be dangerous out there. I know these stupid idio.t Razor Hogs are doing anything in their power to get to and end the Snakes for good. But I won’t bow down to them. No way.

Nova has even postponed her wedding because of this, as Dad said it wouldn’t be safe to go ahead yet. That’s three times my poor sister has put her wedding off. Even though I don’t see why they can’t just get married here at the house. Our whole family is here. It could be huge, beautiful.

But my sister doesn’t want to get married here at the safe house. She wants the wedding she planned. It has to be perfect for her. I don’t blame her for that. This is Nova and Tank’s day, and they should have what they want.

I don’t know, I think I’m just feeling out of sorts. Everything is getting on top of me. I feel like a prisoner. I hate it. I came to this house to keep my dad and everyone else from worrying. I don’t want them to worry about me, but I won’t put my life on hold because of this.

If almost dying taught me anything, it’s to live each day as if it were your last. And it’s not like I’m going to do anything reckless; I’ll have a prospect follow me to work to ensure I get there safely. They can even wait for me to finish work, but I won’t be a prisoner here. I won’t!

My sister is the only person in the kitchen when I get down there. Ember’s not with her. That’s unusual.

I grab myself a coffee and take a seat at the dining table opposite her.

“Why are you dressed up like you’re going into the office?” She asks with narrow eyes.

“I don’t work in an office,” I chuckle. “But I am going to work.”

“You think that’s a good idea after everything Dad’s said?”

“It’s my choice, Nova. I have a mind of my own, and I’ll be careful. I’ll get Buzz to follow me and make sure I get there okay. Then I’ll tell him what time to be there to follow me home again.”

She looks at me for a second, then smiles. “As long as you have it all worked out.”

“I do. Why are you sitting in here all by yourself?” I counter back.

“Ember’s with Mom and Taylor in the garden, so I’m just sitting here thinking.”

“About what, sweetie?”

She suddenly starts laughing.

What the heck is she laughing at?

She’s laughing hard, so hard she’s wiping tears from her eyes.

“What’s so funny?” I’m smiling because I can’t help myself.

“Did you have fun last night?” She winks at me, and instantly, my stomach drops. I feel sick. I am so embarrassed. She heard me!

Hammer woke me up last night by touching me and turning me on in my sleep. We hadn’t seen each other in days, I missed him. He must have missed me, too.

I woke up and begged him to fuc.k me. And he did; he fucke.d me so hard the headboard was crashing against the wall, and I was screaming like a damn banshee!

But as soon as it was over, I fell asleep in his arms, and he was gone again when I woke up. We didn’t even have a conversation.

God, I am never going to live this down!

“I tell you what, Sissy, from the way you were screaming, I’d say he was a very, very big boy.” She laughs again at the fact my mouth is hanging open in shock.

Oh God! If she heard me, then everyone else is bound to have.

“Don’t be embarrassed, Will. It runs in the family.” She winks again.

I’m not sure if she’s referring to the size of Tank’s coc.k – which I don’t want or need to know about – or the fact she’s a screamer like me.

I bite my lip and blink back, the tears threatening to fall. I won’t cry, but I am just so dammed embarrassed. I don’t know what to do.

“Oh, Will, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“It’s fine,” I get out of my seat and smooth down my skirt. “I have to get to work.”

“Are you angry with me, Will?”

“Of course not, Nova. I’m just embarrassed. If you heard, there is no doubt that everyone in the house did. I’m not going to be able to face people.”

“Will, the only rooms on that floor are yours, mine, Jett’s, the kids, and Mom and Dad’s. The kids were asleep, and Tank was out of it by the time he came to bed. He and Jett had been drinking most of the night with some of the others. Jett fell asleep down here, and Mom and Dad didn’t hear anything. Trust me, they were all loved up this morning. So, I guarantee they had their own fun last night. Too much to hear you.” She laughs suggestively.

None of that makes me feel any better. Nevertheless, I hug her hard, tell her I feel better and leave for work. Not that I feel like going now, but such is life. I’m going to have this sick feeling inside of me all damn day now.

But no, the feeling subsides when I’m back in my classroom with my kids. Their happy, smiling faces make me forget what’s going on back home. Teaching them music is the best therapy I could have asked for. We sing a little song before recess, learn about Egypt after lunch, and fly through our literary test right before the bell rings to summon the end of the day.

This has been just what I needed, and I can't wait to do it all again tomorrow.