SINFUL LOVE WITH HIM

CHAPTER 2

NAGPAKAWALA ako ng malalim na buntong-hininga nang makita kong pumasok na rin si papa sa library.

“Are you being serious right now, Papa?” tanong ko.

Nagsalubong naman ang mga kilay nito habang nakatingin sa akin. “What do you mean?”

“That woman who’s in the living room right now, Papa.”

“Look, Amicia. I know it shocked you when I introduced you to Natalie—”

“You’re right, Papa. I was shocked,” I said to cut him off. “She’s your girlfriend? You don’t even have time for me because you’re only focusing on work, and now... But now you have a girlfriend who will steal the attention I’m asking for from you,” dismayadong sabi ko. “I thought you had an important meeting to go to in Davao? You didn’t come home last night, so we could have dinner together just like you promised, and now you came home with a woman. Don’t tell me... She will stay here with us?”

“Look, princess.” Anang Papa at humakbang pa palapit sa akin. When he took my right hand, I couldn’t do anything but stare sadly into his eyes. “I love Natalie,” wika ni papa. “The truth is... We have been in a relationship for three months. And the reason I brought her home is that I decided na rito na siya patirahin sa bahay dahil pinag-uusapan na rin naman namin ang kasal namin.”

I felt even more sad and disappointed because of what Papa said. He will marry another woman? Tuluyan na niyang kalilimutan si Mama? Oh! No way!

Sunod-sunod akong napailing at binawi kay papa ang kamay ko. “You’re not going to marry her, papa,” sabi ko.

“That’s my decision, Amicia.”

“And my decision is not important to you, Papa?”

“I mean, I love Natalie. She always makes me happy.”

At this moment, when I heard those words, I couldn’t help but be deeply hurt. Bigla ring nag-init ang sulok ng mga mata ko. “She always makes you happy. And I don’t make you happy.”

“Princess, that’s not—”

“It’s okay, Papa. I... I understand.” Biglang pumatak ang mga luha ko at pagkuwa’y nagmamadali akong tumakbo palabas ng library. Even though my eyes were blurry, pinilit kong pumanhik sa hagdan hanggang sa makarating ako sa kuwarto ko. Ini-lock ko ang pinto at padapa akong humiga sa kama ko habang impit na umiiyak.

Why? Siya na nga ang nagkukulang ng oras at panahon sa akin, and now he’s going to make me feel that I’m useless and that I can’t make him happy? Tanggap ko nang mas mahalaga sa kaniya ang negosyo niya kaysa sa akin. Pero ngayong nagdala pa siya ng babae rito at sasabihin niya sa akin na lagi siyang napapasaya ng Natalie na ’yon... I can’t bear the pain in my heart. Sana pala, nang mawala si mama ay nasama na lang din ako sa kaniya. Tutal naman simula nang maiwan kami ni Papa, I never felt that he was there for me.

“Amicia! Princess, open the door!”

Narinig ko ang boses at pagkatok ni papa sa labas ng kuwarto ko. But I didn’t bother to open it. I don’t want to see and talk to him.

“Amicia Vittoria, I said open the door.”

I know, kapag tinawag ako ni papa sa buong pangalan ko, galit na ito. And I should be scared. Pero wala akong pakialam ngayon.

Ilang minuto ang lumipas, nakadapa pa rin ako sa kama ko at patuloy na umiiyak. Later, I heard the door open and footsteps approaching my bed. I know it’s dad.

“Amicia!”

“I don’t want to hear it, papa,” sabi ko.

“You don’t understand me, hija.”

“And you don’t understand me, too, papa.” Kumilos ako para umupo sa kama ko at hilam ng mga luha ang mukha kong tumitig dito. “Since mama died, I’ve always been alone because your business is more important to you. Then now...” Huminto ako sa pagsasalita at humugot ng malalim na paghinga. “She can’t stay here,” sabi ko pa.

“Please, princess—”

“Bahay ’to ninyo ni mama. Kaya please lang po, respect my late mother. If you let that woman live here with us, then I will leave.”

“At saan ka naman titira?” tanong nito. “Amicia—”

“You don’t care about me anymore, do you?”

“Hey! Where did those words come from, Amicia Vittoria?”

“That’s the truth, papa. Wala ka ng pakialam sa akin kaya nga puro negosyo ang inuuna mo kaysa sa akin, hindi ba?”

“Ginagawa ko ito para sa ’yo, Amicia.”

Umiling-iling ako. “You’re doing it for your own good, papa. Not for me.” Pinunasan ko ang mga luha ko. “I don’t need a lot of money and expensive things, Pa. All I want is your time for me, but you can’t give that to me. But to Natalie...” Puno ng hinanakit na saad ko. Patuloy pa rin sa pagpatak ang mga luha ko. At mayamaya, kaagad akong umalis sa kama ko at nagmamadaling nilisan din ang kuwarto ko.

Pagkababa ko sa hagdan, nakasalubong ko naman sa sala ang babaeng ito. Matalim na titig ang ipinukol ko rito. Pero ngumiti lamang ito sa akin. I ran out of the main door until I reached the stables just behind the mansion. I took my horse, Tala. At nang makasakay ako sa kabayo ko, pinakaripas ko iyon nang takbo hanggang sa makarating ako sa ibaba ng rancho; sa beach.

Pagkababa ko sa kabayo ko, lumuluha pa rin akong naglakad sa pinong buhangin. And later, I sat on the sand a few steps away from the sea. I just looked at the vast ocean while silently crying.

“I don’t know if you want to be alone here or if you want someone to talk to, to ease the pain you’re feeling right now.”

Bigla akong napalingon sa gawing kaliwa ko nang marinig ko ang boses na iyon. And even though my eyes were still blurry, I immediately recognized the man standing next to me.

I quickly wiped my tears and looked away. “Who are you? What are you doing here?” tanong ko.

Narinig ko ang pagpapakawala niya ng malalim na buntong-hininga at pagkuwa’y umupo na rin sa buhangin.

“I’m Ulap.”

Nangunot ulit ang noo ko at muling napalingon sa kaniya. “Olaf?” tanong ko.

Bahagya siyang natawa. “Ulap. Like clouds. Not the ice that is Princess Ana’s best friend.”

Hindi ko na rin napigilan ang sarili ko na matawa ng pagak. God! Kalalaking tao niya tapos kilala niya si Olaf at Princess Ana? Napanuod na siguro nito ang Frozen.

“That’s right. You should just be smiling. It’s not good to cry and look sad.”

I wiped my tears again and then let out a deep breath. Tinanaw ko uli ang malawak na karagatan habang ang buhok ko ay bahagyang inililipad ng hangin.

“What’s your name?” tanong niya mayamaya. “If you don’t mind.”

Ilang saglit akong nanatiling tahimik. “Amicia,” sagot ko pagkuwa’y.

“And why are you crying, Amicia?”

“I don’t think I can share my problem with someone I don’t even know.”

“I introduced myself to you earlier. And I know your name too. So we are no longer strangers to each other. I guess.”

“But we just met.”

“They say it’s even better to express thoughts or problems to people we don’t know. Because they will not judge us. They will just listen to us and give us advice. Compared to people we know. They will judge us, lalo na ang nararamdaman natin.”

Muli akong napalingon sa kaniya. Nakatitig siya sa akin. Well, kanina nang makita ko siya roon sa itaas ng hacienda habang may ginagawang kababalaghan sa sarili niya, because I was so annoyed with him, I didn’t immediately appreciate his handsome face. But now, as I stare at him... Damn. He’s so handsome. His thick eyebrows, his pointed nose, his long eyelashes are perfect for him. His hazelnut brown eyes were deep and tantalising, and his lips were thin, and his well-defined jawline made him look even more handsome. Although his hair was a little disheveled, but it looked good on him. And he looks hot. Damn.

Marami na akong nakita at nakilalang mga lalaki na guwapo, but he’s the only man I’ve met with a different, handsome face. His appearance doesn’t match the typical Filipino look, so it’s possible that he has Spanish ancestry.

“If you don’t want to share your problem with me, just stare at me as long as you want. I don’t charge money for staring at my face,” he said. “One kiss is enough.”

Nang marinig ko ang sinabi niya, napapahiyang nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kaniya. Naramdaman ko rin ang pag-iinit ng buong mukha ko.

Mayamaya ay narinig ko siyang tumawa ulit. “Just kidding,” aniya. “But I’m not going to force you to tell me about what you’re going through right now. But I can accompany you here until you calm down.”

Hindi ko siya nilingon, pero sinilip ko siya sa gilid ng mata ko. “T-Thanks,” sabi ko na lamang.