The Gorgeous Man's Madness

The 5th Madness

I rushed inside the elevator. My tears burst out as the door closed behind me. Napasalampak na lang ako sa sahig dahil hinang-hina na ako. I cannot forgive myself for letting this happen, over and over.

Nagpalit na ako ng damit into my pajamas nang makapasok ako ng kwarto. Hindi ko na nagawang kumain ng hapunan dahil wala akong gana. Hinayaan ko na lang ang sariling dalawin ng antok hanggang sa makatulog.

---

It's been days since that incident happened. Wala na akong narinig mula sa kanya. Hindi na rin ako nakatatanggap ng roses or letters galing sa kanya. I checked my phone everytime waiting for... Ayla's text.

Humanda sa akin ang babaeng 'yon.

Balik trabaho na rin ako. Upon seeing Ayla, I fired her immediately. Nagmakaawa sa 'kin ang bruha na huwag siyang alisin sa trabaho. Naiinis ako dahil pakiramdam ko, naisahan ako.

She begged me to get her job back. Dahil sa maaawin ako, binalik ko siya sa trabaho bilang P.A—personal alalay. Siya ang ginawa kong tigabitbit ng damit, makeup, at mga sapatos na gagamitin ko sa photoshop. And at the same time, she managed my schedule which line on her previous job. Dahil nga maaawin ako, I raised her salary a bit.

And she will do these things for one week.

Katatapos lang ng photoshoot ng utusan ko siyang ayusin ang mga gamit ko. Wala nang tao sa studio dahil maaga ang packed up time.

"Who give you the permission to do that?

"A-anong ibig mong sabihin?" Bakas sa boses niya ang kaba.

"Na i-set up mo ako kay Nyle? How dare you! Handler lang kita Ayla, and you are in no position to meddle with people's life. Naaawa lang ako sa 'yo kaya kita binalik sa trabaho mo."

"I'm sorry..." she said between her sobs.

"Look, I don't want to bragged my position here and put a barrier but I'm still your employer and you are my employee. Sana 'wag mawala ang respeto mo sa 'kin. Ako ang pagpapasahod sa 'yo at ako ang susundin mo." I hired her outside company's agency.

"He asked me to—"

"Shhhhhh! Sasagot ka pa talaga?"

"Sorry." Yumuko siya para itago ang hiya.

"Fine! Fine," tinulungan ko na siyang magligpit. "Next time, don't do things without my consent, okay?"

"Noted, Boss." she smiled.

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Don't call me boss. Wala tayo sa sindikato. Xander will do."

Pinauna ko na siyang maglakad at itago na ang mga gamit sa dressing room. Biglang sumakit ang ulo ko sa pagkapasaway ng babaeng 'yon. Hinilot ko ang sintido ko.

"Need a ride?"

I rolled my eyes. "What brought you here?"

I saw a b***h standing next on the door step. She's wearing a nude pink jumpsuit and white stilleto. Nakalugay ang mahaba niyang buhok. A pair of Prada sunglasses is on her head.

"Missed me, Kuya Xander?"

"Nope." I walked towards her at nakipagbeso-beso siya sa akin. "Let's go, Kyla."

"Do you have plans for tonight?"

"Umuwi sa condo at magpahinga."

She started to stomped her feet like a five year old girl. "Samahan mo ako lumabas. Bar hopping tayo."

"Why so sudden?"

"Wala lang. Ano G?"

Wala naman sigurong masama. Tutal, wala naman akong naka-schedule na lakad bukas. Nami-miss ko na rin uminom.

---

She insisted to drive dahil may bago daw siyang nadiskubreng bar. Kyla is Nyle's younger sibling. I met her when I was second year highschool doon sa mansion nila. Nasa dating stage pa lang kami ni Nyle.

I know from the start that she has this bitchy attitude kaya siguro nagkasundo kami. Parang mas magkapatid pa ang turingan namin kaysa sa kapatid niya. I'm not sexually nor romantically attracted to her but I know there's this connection between us.

"I know why you look so grumpy these past few days. And I heard earlier na pinagagalitan mo 'yung alalay mo kanina."

"Shut up, Kyla. Just drive."

"Baka nakakalimutan mo, this is my car and I can do what I want." she proudly announced.

I ignored her remarks. "Stop this car, at bababa ako."

"No, b***h. We're here!" she exclaimed.

She parked the car at saka kami lumabas ng sasakyan. Natawa ako nang makita ko 'yung bar na sinasabi niya. Seryoso ba siya dito?

"Dito talaga, Kyla? Gay bar?"

"What's funny?" aniya. "Mas gwapo ang mga gays kaysa sa straight dudes."

May point naman siya. I know, gays are more self conscious kaya mas attractive silang tignan. We're naturally born vain. No offense. Ang tanong, may papatol kaya sa kanya pagpasok namin sa loob?

---

Pinili namin ni Kyla na pumwesto sa bar counter. Karamihan ng tao sa loob ay mga lalaki at nagulat ako na may mangilan-ngilan ding mga babae.

"Alam ba 'to nila Mom—I mean ng parents mo?"

She emptied the content in just one gulp. "I'm old enough to do these things. Ano 'ko bata?"

I do what she did. Ramdam ko ang pagguhit ng alak sa lalamunan ko. Maingay sa loob na sinabayan pa ng mga ilaw na parang nakikisabay sa bit ng music. Nag-request ako ng isa pang order para sa 'min ng kasama ko. Sabay naming nilagok ang laman ng baso.

"Kuya Xander, I have a question?"

"What?"

"Why do men cheat? Most of my friends kasi are girls, kaya sa 'yo ko naisip itanong," bigla siyang tumawa. "Kahit papaano naman masasagot mo 'yan, 'di ba?"

I asked the bartender to give us more. "Hindi ko alam. Hindi naman ako cheater."

"Kasi 'di ba ang unfair? Women should be faithful at all time then, kapag nahuling nag-cheat it's a big deal. Tapos kapag mga lalaki, normal lang?"

"Maybe, some guys—not all—wants to have s*x with other women or people. And when he had the chance, he takes it. But it doesn't mean na tama ang manloko because there's no excuse to cheat someone. That's bullsh**!"

"Exactly!" Kyla emptied her glass. "I know what your going through, Kuya Xander. At wala ako sa lugar manghimasok sa inyong dalawa. And hopefully, you guys would reconcile."

I consumed all the content of my glass. Something start to build up in my eye corner. Leche lang!

"Ikaw Kyla, have you ever cheated on someone?"

"No!" mabilis niyang sagot. "I'm in a relationship before, and then nararamdaman ko nang nahuhulog ako sa ibang tao, so what I did is I broke up with my boyfriend and go with that someone."

"You're insane."

"I'm just preventing something to happen."

Natawa ako. "You're just making excuses to your ex boyfriend. Kung talagang mahal mo 'yung tao, hindi ka mahuhulog sa iba, gaga ka! Kung may hindi na magandang nangyayari sa relasyon, you only have to do is talk."

Wow! I feel attacked by my own words. Umiikot na ang paningin ko.

"Okay. Past is past naman na. Hindi rin naman kami nagkatuluyan ng pinalit ko. We broke up after two months," she removed her sunglasses on her head and fixed her hair. "Have you ever cheated on Kuya? Don't worry, hindi ako magku-kwento sa kanya, I swear."

"No," I looked at her. "I'm not cheap. That's it."

"Even once?"

"Never. Busy akong tao at wala akong panahong lumandi sa kahit na sino."

"Excuse me?" Biglang sumulpot ang isang lalaki sa tabi ko. "You seems like you're having fun. Mind me to join you guys?"

He offered me a drink and I refused. He insisted pero nagpupumilit pa rin siya. May itsura ang lalaki, kumikinang ang mga mata niya sa dilim. His jawline is so defined and he also has prominent lips.

"Would you mind also to leave us alone? We don't need you here." sabi ko sa lalaking katabi ko.

Nagulat ako nang kunin ng lalaki ang baso saka nilagok ang laman. Nainis siguro. Bakas ang inis dahil sa biglaang pagtayo at saka umalis.

I heard Kyla's laughing. "That was dope. Gwapo din 'yung isang 'yun ah. Ayaw mo?"

"Gusto mo?" I raised a brow. "Pwede mo pang habulin."

"Nah! I don't want recycled things."

---

Halata na ang tama ng alak kay Kyla. Makulit na ang bruha. I asked her to call someone to pick her up but she insisted to drive herself alone. Of course, hindi ako pumayag. Baka katayin pa ako ng parents niya kapag may nangyaring masama sa kanya. I used her phone and dialed a number.

Ilang saglit lang ay dumating ang driver ni Kyla sakay ng Grab car. I asked the driver to take Kyla home using her car. Inalok ako ng driver na isabay ako pauwi ng condo ko.

Before the car leaves, I saw a familiar car from afar. I shrugged on that thought. Imposible. Baka tama lang 'to ng alak. Kung anu-ano nang nai-imagine ko.

Nang makauwi ako, I stood up next to my door. Ewan ko, but I was expecting something on it.

"Like what, Xander? Those stupid white roses and a letter?" I laughed out of a blue.

I swiped my card and open the door. My unit is still dark, cold, and empty. I locked the door behind me. Hinayaan kong magpadaus-dos sa likod ng pinto.

I wasn't expecting this feeling to be tormenting. Nakakapanghina. I feel so exhausted.