The Rockstar's Redemption

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

It's no surprise that, the next day, when Reid wakes up to find me in the kitchen preparing breakfast, he looks at me with his usual indifference. There is no sign that he remembers what happened last night. I don't touch the subject either. It's best if we forget about it, both of us.

That includes my body as well.

However, it is still shocking how easily he changes from cold to hot. Reid's presence takes me on a roller coaster of emotions, his behavior last night seems to be that of a completely different man than the one in front of me right now.

"Have you cleared my computer yet?" I ask as I help myself to my breakfast. As has become customary since he can walk, I leave his breakfast in the kitchen for him to help himself.

"Do you need it?"

Do you see it?

He never answers my questions. If he does, it's with another question.

I spread jam on my toast, concentrating on the simple job that ceases to be simple when I feel his intense gaze on me.

Oh, is he waiting for an answer?

Just to return his moves, I delay in answering him, still working on my toast. I glance sideways at him, expecting to see him impatient. He doesn't. I grit my teeth, feeling unsatisfied that I fail to irritate him the way he irritates me.

"Yes, I'd like to use it" I finally speak.

"I'll get it, but don't delay, I'll need it later."

Without meaning to, I break my toast from the force I exert because of his response. There he is, thinking he owns everything. So overbearing, used to having every little thing he pleases. Someone should remind him that before he's a rock star with fans at his feet, he's a person first. Just like everyone else. Everyone!

Calm down, Willa.

When he comes back from the room with my computer in his hand, I look at him a little angrily.

"You can't keep acting like this."

He raises an eyebrow, wondering what I mean. Yeah, he doesn't talk. Did you forget? Reid Colleman has to have his words forced out of him. At least, with me that's the case.

Trying hard to keep my calm, I say, "You think you own everything."

"I don't."

My eyes don't leave him as I watch him serve himself his breakfast. Then, for the first time since he's lived with me, he sits down in the little chair across from me... Reid sits down to eat with me.

I choke on my toast.

Yes, the same damn toast.

Reid watches me silently as I cough uncontrollably, trying not to choke and die in front of the annoying rock star.

"Yeah, you think you own everything" I point out when I've calmed down.

"No, I don't."

"Yes" I insist carefully.

"What do you base that on, Blue?"

There it is, that silly nickname.

"Don't call me Blue, I have a name and it's Willa."

I almost think I see an amused look in his eyes, but I'm not sure. So far, I haven't met his with an expression other than indifference.

Calmly and slowly, he rests his elbows on the table, looking at me with those penetrating eyes of his. "You didn't answer my question."

"Just as you never answer mine."

I watch angrily as he runs his thumb across his lower lip, as if he's hiding a laugh. And I swear, if the first time I hear his laugh is for making fun of me, I'll break another piece of toast... but on his head.

He continues to stare at me, waiting for my response.

But guess what?

I don't answer.

Yes, it's childish, I know.

I don't care.

Reid lets out a long, loud sigh that earns my attention. And I resent that, how I seem to be programmed to catch his every expression and movement. Reid Colleman is so expressionless and devoid of feeling that his every gesture or expression is like a hard-to-find treasure. And the worst part is that, contrary to myself, I seem to be very, very interested in those treasures.

When he looks back at me with furrowed brows, I am surprised to find him slightly angry. It's the first real feeling I've seen from him.

"Did you have a bad night, Blue?"

I am surprised by his question and again choke on my toast.

"Why would you say such a thing?" I pretend to be oblivious because if we're going to bring up the subject of last night it will be because of him, not me.

He doesn't answer and soon begins to eat in silence. I question if that gives him satisfaction, leaving all my questions unanswered.

Unable to keep my mouth shut, I speak: "Reid, we seriously need to establish rules for living together. I think..."

"What time does your shift at the hospital end?"

What?

I shake my head.

What an odd question coming from him.

"Midnight" I reply with concern.

Reid bites the last of his toast and stands up, walking with that mysterious air to the kitchen. How is it that he can make such an everyday action as washing the breakfast dishes enigmatic? I don't know, but he does. Even though his big body doesn't contrast at all in my small kitchen and his tattooed hands look masculine against my delicate, feminine dishes, he is quite a sight and I find myself watching him totally enraptured.

I shake my head, forcing myself out of my reverie. I look down at my empty plate, not knowing when I've finished eating. I quickly walk over to leave the dishes on the counter to wash them when he comes out of the kitchen. The two of us together in such a small space is not a good idea, yet Reid surprises me again when he asks me, "Are you walking home alone at that time of day?"

It takes me a while to figure out that he's asking me about my walk home from my hospital shift. Before I can answer his question, he starts washing up where I have eaten. I look at him totally surprised because it's the first time he's done that, as he usually washes only what he uses. It doesn't escape my notice that it's also the first time he's asked about my life.

Today seems to be the day Reid Colleman gives me surprises.

I wonder what he dreamed last night.

"Jason sometimes accompanies me" I'm honest with him.

He just nods, setting the dishes aside. I take them and dry them before arranging them in the dish rack.

Seeing that he doesn't talk anymore, I add, "Jason is my best friend."

Why did I say that?

I shake my head, inwardly scolding myself that Reid doesn't care. Giving out information about my life that people don't ask me for is a bad habit I need to cut. But the silences with him sometimes drive me crazy and I'm filled with this uncomfortable need to fill them. What's worse, because those awkward silences become even more awkward when my mouth opens.

Not knowing what to do, I stand with my feet planted on the floor, looking down at my hands, waiting for him to continue the conversation. Incredibly, I like him talking, I like talking to him. It feels... good. Despite how much he irritates me, how obnoxious he can be at times, I missed having a conversation with someone at home, I missed eating in company.

I feel vulnerable around him because even though his silences sometimes make me uncomfortable and it bothers me that he hardly speaks because it makes me feel like he doesn't trust me, I have learned to enjoy his company, his presence. Just knowing that he is home, with me, comforts me.

It's such a strange feeling to feel.

"Blue?"

I nibble my lip, suddenly feeling nervous. I slowly raise my gaze, watching him through my eyelashes. "Yes?"

When Reid's brown eyes meet mine, I gasp. His gaze is always too much for me. There's so much in those eyes. So many hidden feelings that I can't put a name to any of them.

I wonder what's going through his head and suddenly I want to know what he thinks of me. Is he silent with everyone or just me? Is it because he finds me annoying, awkward, untrustworthy? I sigh and avert my gaze for a second, suddenly fatigued by how fast my mind works when it comes to him.

I think Reid Colleman could be lethal to my sanity.

"Weren't you going to use your computer?" He asks, pointing toward the table where the device rests.

The computer!

"Yes!" I close my eyes, embarrassed as the word comes out in an excited shout. "Yes, the computer, I'm going to use it, I'm going to use it."

He nods, looking at me perhaps with some amusement.

I half spin on my feet and let out an inevitable nervous giggle.

What's wrong with me around him!

It's as if I'm bent on embarrassing myself.

I quickly grab the computer, sit on the couch with the device on my lap and open my social networks. I absentmindedly browse the internet, waiting for Reid to lock himself in my room. Just as he does, I open an incognito search engine and type in "Reid Colleman." Immediately, thousands of results pop up in the browser, but I go to what I think is safest: Wikipedia. I read with quick eyes, careful not to let him come out of my room and catch me unawares, but when I hear the sound of the shower turning on, I find myself reading more calmly. The website says that Reid Colleman is twenty-seven years old, he started his career at seventeen with the release of his first single "Inside" which went to number one on the Billboard Hot 100 in different European countries and also in the United States. He has been in a romantic relationship with Katarina Volkov, the famous actress of...

I stop, re-reading the last part.

Does Reid have a girlfriend?

I swallow saliva, a strange sensation squelching in my stomach. I quickly run my hand over my belly, dismissing the sensation and justifying it with the silly toast that made me choke several times.

I read on, coming across more of his hits, music videos and awards, but I go straight to what matters most to me: his personal life. I need to know if anyone might be worried about looking for him... other than his girlfriend.

What I find lowers my spirits because it's really sad. His parents died four years ago in a car accident about which there is not much information, but the only survivor is said to be Reid himself, who was riding in one of his luxury cars with his driver and two parents. I search for more relatives, but there is nothing. No cousin, uncle or grandfather is named, much less twin brother. There is nothing.

Did Reid lie to me about his brother?

I jump as my bedroom door opens, but I manage to quickly close the incognito window before Reid spots me. I was so immersed in what I was reading, I didn't notice when the shower stopped.

I hear Reid wandering around the kitchen and that's my cue to end my research, so I do what I would do any other day. I go to YouTube, search for videos on how to learn to knit and watch them intently while fiddling with my toes.

Reid and I don't speak again for the rest of the day.