The Rockstar's Redemption

Chapter 3.

Chapter 3.

I laugh in front of the TV, my favorite episode of The Big Bang Theory playing in front of my eyes.

It's amazing what a cup of hot chocolate, a plush blanket and my wool beanie can do to make my day better. Oh, and of course, let's not forget Sheldon. The smart and funny Sheldon Cooper.

Another guffaw escapes my mouth as another quip from the quirky character is shown on the show. I needed this, to disconnect for a moment from the reality of the hospital to forget how tragic life can be.

Many times I doubted whether my vocation was to be a nurse. Watching people suffer and die is definitely not my thing. However, I thought that with time it would get easier, that I would get used to seeing tears, pain and sometimes even loneliness. It hasn't gotten easier, not at all.

But then for me it has always been two choices: I do something to help or I just ignore. On the other hand, there is the fact that no matter whether I witness the pain or not, it will always be there. There are always going to be injured people, patients in the hospital and family members grieving for their losses. They will never go away. Ignoring something that will always be as present as air is not something I think I'm capable of doing. So the other option is to help, because no matter what, I am not able to turn a blind eye when someone needs a little kindness.

One minute of providing help to someone can change more than one life.

Just as ignoring can ruin many.

"Can you turn it down?"

Reid's voice sounds behind me, so I turn a little and look at him. I allow my eyes to wander down his body, into the secondhand clothes I was able to get him. A pair of sweatpants and cotton T-shirt cover his body, but it's not enough. It's getting too cold. I want to tell him to take care of himself, but I don't. I don't want to be weird...well, weirder.

He hasn't told me why he hasn't left my house.

I haven't demanded he leave.

He's got me blindfolded.

I don't complain.

I need a psychiatrist.

"Did I wake you up?" I ask, feeling kindly.

His eyes wander carefully around the small room, as if it's the first time he's observed it. When he seems to finish his scrutiny, his gaze falls on me again.

I blow against the liquid in my hands, lowering my gaze because Reid's eyes are too intense. There's too much hidden there and it disturbs me a little.

"Your laughter is too loud."

I shrug at his words and turn back to the TV. I pick up the remote and turn the volume down a little, then pick up the hot mug again with both my hands, blowing into it.

"There's hot chocolate in the kitchen" I mumble absently, concentrating on the TV again.

I don't know how much time passes, but at some point Reid very carefully plops down next to me on the couch, as if his wounds still hurt. They probably still do.

It doesn't escape my notice that, if I move just a little to the right, my thigh would touch his. I shake my head, dismissing the strange thought.

What do I care if we touch?

I'm going crazy.

His presence lingers beside me, but he says nothing. I feel his gaze on me every time I laugh, but he says nothing. Two more chapters go by, he still says nothing.

Also, at no point does he laugh.

Nothing.

No matter how comical my dear Sheldon is, the rock star doesn't let out even a small chuckle.

Feeling curious, I give in to our silence and ask him: "Don't you like the show?"

My eyes are fixed on his profile, for some reason my gaze doesn't leave him as I wait for his answer. Reid doesn't turn to look at me at any point, his dark orbs fixed on the TV. And as usual, he's slow to speak, and when he does it's not to answer me.

"What did you put in the chocolate?"

Why doesn't he ever answer my questions?

I stare at him, trying to decipher him, to understand him, to find some glimmer of something inside him.

I find nothing.

I turn my face back to the TV, also without looking at him.

I want not to respond to him, just as he does to me, but it's just not who I am.

"Vanilla essence."

Long minutes pass again, the silence between the two of us remaining in place.

I don't understand what we are doing. I don't understand why I help him and I don't understand why he hasn't left yet. I don't understand why I don't ask him to.

I stay planted on the couch, not taking my eyes off the screen even when some time later he starts to stand up. He does so carefully and awkwardly, yet the awkwardness does not detract from the masculinity of his imposing body. Reid Colleman is the most influential man I've ever met. And I don't say that because of his obvious career and stardom, I say that because of what his presence conveys. Power, he intimidates anyone he wants to. His eyes even more so. He pulls it off with that look so devoid of any feeling inside him. But I see the melancholy, as much as he tries to hide it, I see the melancholy he harbors inside.

Maybe that's why I help him.

"Good night" I murmur to his back.

I don't expect an answer from him. I said it because I wish him well. I wish him a good night. It's as simple as that. However, Reid doesn't make anything simple. I know this because he stops walking as soon as he hears my words. His broad back tenses and I wait with my eyes fixed on him. What do I wait for? I don't know, something. Anything that tells me he at least acknowledges my presence.

A breath catches in my throat as he turns his face, showing me his profile. His jaw is tense, but he manages to open his mouth as if he's going to say something.

He doesn't.

A second later he closes his mouth again, turns his face and walks straight to my room where he locks himself in with a loud bang on the door.

I know I won't hear from him again for the rest of the night.

And that's okay.

|...|

I wake abruptly when I hear a scream.

A piercing, painful scream.

I run my hand over my face, puzzled for several seconds.

What is happening?

"No!" And he screams again, a pitiful sob coming from my room.

My feet run of their own accord to my bedroom, opening the door at once. Reid stirs on the bed, a sheet on the floor as he writhes in pain. His mere scream is heartbreaking to hear, but witnessing his suffering is even more so.

My breathing turns to gasps and I don't know what to do.

I just stand there, watching him, feeling out of my mind.

And he sobs again.

Before I can think of the consequences of my actions, I run to his side and quickly take his face in my hands.

"Reid" I whisper softly.

I try again, call his name in a soft voice, trying to bring him back to our reality.

I run my hand across his forehead, pushing away his long hair damp with sweat. His face crumples at my touch, a small grimace of pain, so I immediately make the attempt to pull away. Before I can do so, long, strong fingers wrap around my wrist.

Then dark brown eyes meet my blue ones.

I stare at him with bated breath, waiting for him to speak to me with his usual indifference and ask me to leave.

I brace myself for the now normal sensation of feeling like an intruder, when the intruder here is him.

Nothing of the sort happens.

My eyes widen in surprise as he pushes me lightly onto the bed, laying me down next to him. With an ease I don't understand, he handles my body, tangling our legs together. I let out a noisy breath as he molds my back into his chest, his hand planted tightly on my hip underneath my disheveled nightshirt, keeping me glued to him without giving me the option of escape.

I count my breaths as I stare at the dark wall in front of me, a gentle tremor invading my body.

I want to pull away.

I don't want to walk away.

But no matter what I want, Reid is leaving me no choice.

Soon, a sheet passes over our bodies and I feel a soft nose bury itself in the back of my neck.

Another shudder washes over me.

Reid puts more pressure with his hand on my hip.

And as usual, he doesn't say anything.

This time, neither do I.

I stay awake for what I think is hours, and when his breathing finally calms behind me, signaling that he has fallen asleep, I manage to break free of his iron grip and return to my place on the couch.

But no matter how much time passes, Reid's touch doesn't disappear from my body... it stays with me for the rest of the night.