The Rockstar's Redemption

Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

I pull my wool beanie down even further on my head, trying to warm myself from the freezing cold of the night. Jason walks beside me, chattering about something I'm not quite sure about because I stopped paying attention to him a moment ago. My head feels encapsulated and all I want to do is eat something really yummy and then go to sleep soundly. I grimace when I remember that it's the couch that awaits me, not my bed.

Silly Willa, giving her bed to a stranger.

I yawn against my hand, looking at Jason without really seeing him as we leave the hospital.

"Do you want me to walk you home?"

"No" I deny immediately. "I'll be fine."

Jase furrows his eyebrows, looking at me with what looks like sadness and some disappointment in his eyes. I hold his gaze for only a moment, then look away, feeling uncomfortable.

Things will never go back to the way they were, I think wistfully.

"I think I'd better come with you" suddenly, he puts his arm around my shoulders and whispers in my ear: "That strange guy keeps looking at you, it's better that I don't leave you alone."

I look over my shoulder at the man Jason is telling me about. My tired eyes meet the silhouette of a person leaning against the lamppost. The man is dressed in a hooded jacket that makes his face inconspicuous, yet I recognize that disinterested I-don't-care-a-s**t-about-you-and-I'm-the-king-of-the-world-everyone-lean-on-my-feet posture. Of course, I don't get past the irony that I got that jacket from a thrift store.

It's Reid Colleman, standing in front of the hospital waiting... for me.

My feet immediately move toward him, confused.

Why is he doing this?

Reid's eyes look at me, glance at Jason next to me, and then he lowers his gaze to the floor, hiding his face. Then I understand. Holy mother, Jason can't see him. But it's too late, my best friend is already asking me: "Do you know him?"

I stop my steps, looking from Jason to Reid.

"I... uh..."

Before I can say anything, I feel Reid's presence next to me.

What is he doing?!

"Are we leaving?" He asks in his deep voice, causing me to shiver.

Jason stares at him and I watch as he connects the dots.

"You look like someone..."

"Yes, he's my cousin," I say quickly, laughing, "aren't we identical?" I grab Reid's jaw with my hand, moving it back and forth roughly. Then I rise up on my toes, gluing our cheeks together for Jason to make his comparisons.

This man is going to give me a heart attack!

"Willa" Jason shakes his head, "you never told me about any cousins."

"No?" I laugh louder, feeling hysterical at how scared I feel that Reid will be found out. "How strange! Be... Be... Benedicto is my favorite cousin, he's come to stay with me for a while."

"You're named after the Pope? Benedict XVI?" Jason asks Reid directly, looking at him in horror.

Reid grunts under his breath and takes a step away from me, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets. Then he looks away, hiding his face from Jase and ignoring us. This man is really going to stay silent, forcing me to handle the situation.

"Benedicto and I have to go" I say stunnedly to my best friend when I see that Reid won't cooperate here, but Jase keeps his eyes fixed on the rock star, not listening to me.

Oh no.

Oh no!

OH NO!

"You look an awful lot like this singer..." Jason wiggles his fingers, like he's looking for the name. "Reid! Reid Colleman! Has anyone ever told you that?"

I break out in a cold sweat, my hands shaking.

I'm going to have a breakdown, right here.

Reid just shrugs, looking to the side, hiding his face more.

"People say that to him all the time!" I shout and laugh loudly, too loudly, causing Jase to look at me like I'm crazy and Reid to snort angrily, "Everyone says it to him! Hey, bro, you look just like that rock star Reid Colleman! Yeah, yeah, that rock singer, the one with the lady hair! You look just like him! But me..." I point at me, "all I do is laugh. For God's sake, have you seen Reid Colleman, Jase? The man is gorgeous, while Benedicto is ugly as hell! No offense to you, cuz" I pat him with my hand. Reid gives me a death stare. I ignore him and continue with my verbal diarrhea: "He's even been told he's Reid himself! What a stupidity! Reid Colleman must be on... on tour for his latest album In the dark! My cousin?! My cousin doesn't even have a place to drop dead!"

I shut up and the three of us stand in an awkward silence that gets more uncomfortable the longer it goes on.

Reid looks to the side, as if he's ignoring my and Jason's presence.

Jason looks at me like I'm crazy.

And I look from Jason to Reid, my eyes darting from one to the other like ping-pong balls.

"I got it" Jase laughs nervously and takes a step back, looking behind him towards the road to his house. "Well, nice to meet you, Benedicto. See you tomorrow, Willa, I think you need to rest. Today's work was heavy."

"Good!" I shout excitedly, waving my hand back and forth with elation.

Jason looks from Reid to me one last time and backs away, muttering something under his breath that sounds like "she needs to sleep, that's all." As soon as he leaves, Reid and I fall into an awkward silence. I keep my eyes on my hands, fidgeting with them, not being able to look at him. Really, no matter how hard I try, I always embarrass myself in front of him. But it's his fault! How could he just walk out of the house like that?! And why do I look more worried than he does?! Worse yet, since when did I get so anxious about what might happen to Reid?

"Shall we go?" That's all he says.

I slowly raise my eyes and look at him under my lashes. Reid watches me with his face blank, waiting for me. I nod quickly at his question, for the first time glad for his few words. He turns, starting to walk. I stand still for three seconds, but when I see that he is already walking away, I react and run until I reach his side and match his steps.

"You didn't have to come and wait for me" I whisper, nervously tugging on my cold fingers.

"I thought you weren't a fan" is what he strangely says to me.

"What?"

"You know I'm in the middle of my latest album tour" he says without looking at me, his eyes fixed on the road in front of us, "you even know what it's called."

How do I say it without embarrassing myself even more?

Well, here we go...

"Actually... Ilookedyouupontheinternet" I say quickly.

"What?"

"What?" I ask back.

"I didn't understand what you said, you spoke too fast."

"Oh" a giggle escapes me and I pull my beanie down too hard on my head, covering my eyes. "Whoops" I laugh at myself and my clumsiness. Somehow I manage to leave the beanie in place, away from my eyes, in the right place. And then I say again more calmly: "I looked you up on the internet."

I wait for him to get angry, so I don't look at him because I don't want to see his expression when he says something angry to me, but nothing comes out of Reid's mouth. When I dare to raise my eyes in his direction, he continues with his indifferent countenance, walking calmly beside me and looking down the road in front of us.

I mutter under my breath, scolding myself. Reid glances at me every few seconds and try as I might, my mutterings don't stop. I'm too clumsy next to him and I need to tell myself to stop in order to stop.

"Did we go into a Walmart?"

"Huh?" I look at him, puzzled by his question.

"There's no more chocolate in the house, that's it. Shall we stop at a Walmart and shop?"

My brain is slow to comprehend that he's asking me to stop at the grocery store to buy the chocolate.

I nod frantically, he nods once and looks straight ahead again, walking in silence. The road is alone, so he doesn't have to hide, but despite that his hood does a good job of hiding part of his features. Above all, his messy, long brown hair, so characteristic of Reid Colleman.

We enter the empty Walmart. I head straight for the section where the chocolate is. I can always feel Reid's presence beside me, watching my every move. He's making me more nervous, so needing a few seconds away from him, I say, "Can you find a pear cheese and bring it to me? Skim, please."

Reid stands beside me, looking reluctant to do me the favor. Finally, however, he nods and disappears toward the cheese section.

I let out a sigh, trying to calm myself.

I'm clumsy, giddy and sometimes reckless, but next to Reid those flaws seem to be magnified.

I take my time sipping the chocolate, as if I don't know which one to choose when I'm standing in front of the brand I always wear. When I've scolded myself enough and feel I'm done embarrassing myself in front of Reid, I go and look for him in the cheese section. I find him standing in front of the large refrigerator, holding three cheeses in his hands and squinting at each one.

"Can't you find it?" I ask, confused.

Reid just looks away from the cheeses and looks at me, nothing not coming out of his mouth.

I move closer to him and look at the cheeses in his hand.

"It's this one" I take the one and stare at Reid, so confused, "what took you so long?"

Reid opens his mouth as if to say something, but seems to regret it because he shuts it hard again, his jaw clenched tightly and his eyes clouded with a darkness that surprises me. Suddenly, there's an angry fire in his eyes that I didn't see in him before.

But what's wrong with him?

I look at him as if I think he's lost his mind as he storms angrily past me, straight for the box. I follow him, not understanding the strange rock star. He's so confusing, he's going to give me, in addition to a heart attack, a concussion.

The elderly cashier smiles at me when she sees me, recognizing me.

"Willa, my girl, are you coming for your chocolate?"

"Yes, Grace," I hand her the chocolate and cheese, "how have you been today?"

We have a little chat about her day and mine, the sweet older woman looks at Reid, but doesn't ask me about him. I blush when, from her mischievous smile, I understand that she thinks he is my boyfriend. Again feeling nervous about Grace's misconception of us, I pull out my wallet to pay.

Oh no.

I look at the one bill in my wallet and the price the register machine threw up.

There's money missing.

I feel Reid's gaze on me, as heavy as ever. I suspect he knows the reason for my shortage is him. Immediately my cheeks fill with heat. Even though my money has been spent on him, on his medicine, clothes and food, it is still embarrassing. Today seems to be the day to embarrass myself in front of Reid.

I look at Grace, thinking about what I should do.

"Just give me the chocolate" I decide.

She smiles sweetly at me and shakes her head, handing me both the cheese and the chocolate.

"Why don't you just give me the whole money tomorrow? I know it will be payday, while I lend it to you."

I bite my lip, hesitating.

This has never happened to me before, and although I don't live in luxury, money has never been an issue. This is really embarrassing, even more so in front of Reid. However, I want to eat chocolate cheese very badly, so, giving in to my cravings, I nod with a smile. Just before I can thank Grace, Reid storms out of the Walmart.

He is so confusing.

I smile at the sweet woman in thanks and hurry out of there, even more embarrassed by my so-called boyfriend's rude behavior.

Reid waits for me with tense posture outside the supermarket, his hands shoved stiffly inside his jacket pockets. When I reach his side, he snatches the bag from my hands and starts walking. I've never seen him as somber as he is today.... so furious.

And I don't even know what I did wrong.

I sigh wearily and follow him, struggling to match his quick steps.

The air between us is completely sour as we walk home. Reid does nothing but clench his jaw like he wants to break his teeth and holds the bag like he hates it. And it's no more than two steps into the house for him to drop the bag on the table and hurry quickly into the room.

Reid locks himself in with a loud slam of the door that echoes throughout the place.

Feeling really tired, I prepare the chocolate, break off a large piece of cheese and eat it all in the silence of the night. When I'm done, I go into the room without looking at Reid at any point and get cleaned up for sleep. I haven't been on the couch for more than five minutes, trying to fall asleep, when I hear Reid leave the room.

My body shivers under the covers, as if I know what's coming.

My breath quickens when I see his shadow in front of me, then, without asking permission, he takes me in his arms and carries me to his room, to my room. I feel so confused that nothing comes out of my lips, not even when he does again what he did the night before. Quietly, he lies down behind me and molds my back to his chest. Slowly, with confident, sure touch, he strokes his hand down my silhouette, his palm squeezing my skin on his way down, his fingers seeking the end of my disheveled T-shirt. We both sigh loudly as his warm fingers find my bare skin, he grips my hip firmly, his fingertips almost touching my crotch. Reid buries his nose in the back of my neck and holds me fast to him, breathing me in.

"Reid..." I finally manage to say.

"You're not leaving today" he growls against my skin, squeezing my hips tighter.

A shaky sigh escapes me and I don't know what to do. This isn't right, I'm aware of that. But as I debate what I should do, my tired body begins to doze in the shelter of his arms, even more so as his fingers slowly parsimoniously caress the bare skin of my hip, a little towards my crotch, as if he is coaxing me to stay.

The last thing I am aware of that night, is soft lips kissing the back of my neck.

After that there is only warm, beautiful comfort.