Forever, With Love

Chapter Eleven

Ava

“Wake up.” I heard a whisper. I felt warm cold and warm at the same time, something that I wasn’t used to and it just confused me a bit. It felt like another person was touching me which was different, but comfortable. I liked it. “Wake up…” I heard again but this time a couple of pokes on my cheek followed. I groaned and turned, only to nuzzle my head into something that smells absolutely amazing, something familiar. Soft and hard. Warm. Comforting. Something tight wrapped around my body, holding me close and I never wanted it to let me go. I felt safe for the first time in a long time.

The sound of little feet sounded echoed off the wood and I felt little hands poke more of my face until little sticky fingers lifted my eyelid up to see if I was awake. I tried to stay as still as possible but it was so hard, “Grandma Sara…I think they’re dead.” He whispered, or at least tried to whisper. He wasn’t very good at it.

“Could be possible Lucas. Maybe they are.” She said in agreement.

It was then I realized what was going on. I was cuddling up next to Art and he was holding me tight against his body. We must have fell asleep outside after we talked and cried together because of what happened in his past and the fact that my mom is currently dying of cancer as we speak.

I always felt safer in his arms and it was honestly the best sleep I've had in a long time.

“On a count of three, scare him.” Art whispered in my ear as he nuzzled closer to me. I couldn’t help but smile a little bit. I didn’t want to let him go. I linked our fingers together and squeezed his hand.

“Thank you.” I whispered to him.

“No need to thank me Bella, for you I would do anything. You know that.” He placed a soft kiss on my head, “Ready….one…two…three.”

We both jumped out of the spots we were sitting on and screamed ‘Boo’ at Lucas, making him scream and laugh as Art got up and started to chase him around the back yard. From the door you could hear Snoop going crazy, barking up a storm, wanting to go out and play with them. After a small stretch, I went over to the door and opened it as he pushed me out of the way and came barreling through and started to chase Art, barking like crazy.

“AVA!” he yelled at me as I stood there laughing, “You better run! I’m gonna get you for this!” He yelled as Snoop jumped on his back and knocked him down, licking him like crazy. “Snoop, go, get off me!” he yelled while he rolled on his back trying to push him off.

Snoop had other ideas as he put all his weight right on top of him and continued his assault, “Whatever you do, do not go on all fours!” I yelled while laughing.

“Avalon!” my mother gasped out, “That’s inappropriate.”

“Is it when I’m warning him? The dog isn’t fixed and he loves him. I don’t want him to be surprised if Snoop decides to try to mount.” I laughed making my mom laugh.

“Let’s leave the boys outside to play for a bit. Coffee, breakfast and we can talk about this afternoon?” she grabbed my hand and pulled me inside. She was smiling more and as much as I would love to say it was good to see her smile, I had this weird feeling that my life was about to implode.

The house isn’t what I remembered it to be. The walls used to be filled with pictures upon pictures but now they are bare. Magazines used to be stacked on the side tables with a couple of books but those tables are now bare. We used to have a cleaner come in to make sure the house stays as clean as possible because of her weakened immune system, we didn’t want to risk her get sick from anything and well, let’s be honest, she was too sick to clean and I was too damn tired with working two jobs, but with what happened, that would have to stop. I won't complain, I'll be here more to make sure she's okay.

I turned to the stove and fridge, taking things out to make breakfast for us. As much as tonight worried me, I couldn’t help the small smile thinking about last night. I feel like we made some sort of progress. He has never opened up to me about his past so it was definitely a step in the right direction. I wanted us to get along but I feel like I still have a lot of baggage on my end. Well, not so much baggage but something that could totally break us. Something that did break us even if he didn't know about it.

“The smile looks good on you.” mom said as she sat at the counter watching me cook, “He always made you smile like that.”

“He is the only one who has, really.” I said as I put some bread in the toaster.

“Are you ready to tell him about what happened in high school and college?” I froze for a moment. Was I? No. I wasn’t. But I knew I had to at some point.

But how do I tell him that I can’t give him what he wants?

I shook my head, “Not right now. I want to make sure you’re set and taken care of.”

“But I am Avalon. You take care of me more than you need to. You need to take care of yourself and make yourself happy. You're young and have your whole life ahead of you. You need to be yourself again and have fun.”

“But how can I do that when you’re sick like this mom? How can I go out and live my life when you’re here by yourself, sick, laying in bed with no one here to make sure you’re okay? How can I…”

“You can my daughter. You can because I want you to and because I believe in you. Because nothing is more important to me than your happiness.”

“But I…”

“No buts.” She interrupted me, “You have your entire world in front of you. You have so much potential. You have the potential to do good things, to change the world, to be happy, to fall back in love with the man that’s outside right now. All you have to do is concentrate on yourself and that is what I want you to do.” She came over and grabbed my hand in hers. I looked into her tired blue eyes and I just knew what she was saying was from her heart, “All you both need to do it let each other in. Once you both talk about your past you both can move on.”

My mother never held grudges against anyone and was never selfish. She always put others first, especially me after dad died. She always made sure I had everything I needed and wanted and did her best to support us both, even when I was in college. She is more than just a mother, she’s my best friend and it kills me to see her like this.

But I can't help but be a bit upset with her but I held it back because she doesn't deserve me being upset. If only she would have been able to tell the others what's going on maybe she would see it would help me become less stressed...

“Okay.” I whispered as I hugged her, “All I can say is I’ll try but I’m not one hundred percent ready to open up yet. I want to fix things and I do love him but I do think there may be someone else out there for him that can give him what I can’t.”

“If that’s the case, then you need to tell him, it’s only fair and sooner rather than later. If having a family is what he really wants then he needs to know. Who knows, he might surprise you.” She smiled and then kissed my forehead, “Now, I want you to go to the store for me and get some things for dinner tonight. You said Eric and Gary were coming over, right?”

“Yeah. And Erica is still at school I think. Is anyone else coming over?”

“No. Just us dear. I’ll see you in a little bit. I’ll let Art know you went to the store.”

There was a hint of something in her eye, something mischievous but I couldn’t put my finger on it. She pushed me out of the kitchen so I could go to the store and she would finish breakfast. I didn’t want to go right now; I was hungry but who am I to tell mom no. So I did what she wanted me to do, go to the store on an empty stomach.

As I walked to the car, I could still hear the screaming and laughter from the backyard and for once, the sound of it didn’t make my heart hurt. It actually made me wonder about a future, if this is what it would sound like with him…but with our own.

If only…

I was loading my car with the groceries, frozen coffee at hand since I got rudely kicked out of the house when I felt someone watching me. I looked around and didn’t notice anything suspicious but I still had that feeling of unease. I started to rush a bit, scared that something was going to happen. After quickly loading the groceries, someone came up behind me and poked my sides and started to tickle me, making me scream, throwing my coffee in the air as it landed on who ever decided to sneak up behind me. In reaction, I turned around and punched the person behind me, only to hear him drop to the ground with an oomph and a groan.

“The hell Ava.” Jordan groaned as he gripped his gut while he was on his knees. I looked at him and he was in so much pain as Finn was covered with my frozen coffee all over his head, dripping onto his white shirt, “It was just a joke. Damn it that hurt.”

“I’m so sorry!” I panicked and went down to help him up. Around the corner of the car, I saw Aiden and Archer with their phones recording the whole thing, laughing. I rolled my eyes at them while I helped Jordan up. I know we beat up on him the most, but this was legitimately a mistake. I know he meant no harm by scaring me but a part of me still felt bad.

The other part, well, he shouldn’t have done that.

“I don’t get why it’s always me.” He groaned as he stood up, “I think you popped my liver.”

“I’m sure you’re fine. It would take a lot more force that my fist to rupture it. Now, if I kicked you, that would be a different story.” I laughed as he gave me a weird look.

“Did you forget she does kick boxing?” and his eyes went wide and Archer reminded him of that.

“Well, then I’m very thankful you punched me instead of kicking me.”

“So, what’s with all the food?” Aiden asked as he pulled me into him and hugged my shoulder, “You cookin’ me dinner for my birthday?”

“Your…your birthday? Isn’t that in like…July?”

“It is July…” he sighed and looked down shaking his head as he crossed his arms over his chest, “Don’t tell me you forgot.”

“I didn’t forget. I knew your birthday was in July I just didn’t know what month we were in now. Now that I’m thinking of it, it’s next Thursday so no, this isn’t for your birthday but we will do something.” I winked at him trying to cover my ass.

“Can we not talk about this asses birthday and talk about how I’m covered in frozen coffee? This s**t is cold!” Finn shook his head, coffee flying everywhere hitting all of us, “Anyways, can you and Art not pick up your phones?”

“What are you even talking about?” I questioned, “I never got anything from you, see.” I gave him my phone and there wasn’t anything there.

“Oh, hahah I never hit send.” I smacked him on the back of the head, “Anyways, we’re having a cookout. Everyone’s invited and mom and dad were wondering if Sara can come. She hasn’t been around a lot and since she’s not working anymore, they miss her.”

“Um, mom and I have plans tonight with an old family friend of hers. He’s coming over for dinner with his husband.” At least I didn’t have to lie to them, “Maybe next time.”

And just then, my phone went off with a message from Art, making my face drop a bit. I was hoping to get some time with him.

Art: Hey, chief just paged. Just got paged to the hospital. I'm dropping Lucas off at school and heading in.

Me: Okay? When is he done with school?

Art: Well, it's not really school school but more like a daycare type thing. Just until camp starts.

Me: Oh, okay. Well, when you're done at work can you get a hold of me?

Art: Yeah...Did you not get paged?

Me: Nope.

Art: Weird but okay. maybe I'll see you later?

I didn't respond to his message after that. The clock read eleven am and I had things I need to do and I needed to prepare this dinner tonight with mom and everyone else because I had a feeling that this dinner was going to a turning point in everything. I pocketed my phone and turned to everyone, looking at the crazy men in my life. Finn, who has become a great friend, a wonderful husband and father. Jordan, the goofy one of the group who can put a smile on all of our faces. Archer, the little brother who's not so little and once he finds out what his heart truly wants, will do great things in his life. And most importantly, Aiden, my big brother, the man who has saved me time and time again and not even know it.

"Hey, I have dinner tonight with mom. Do you think after we can meet up and talk?" I asked Aiden as he came up and leaned on my car next to me. His arms were crossed over his chest with a c****d eyebrow, questioning what I was really saying, "I need someone to confide in before I make the next move."

"You know I'm always here for you Ava. Just a phone call away." he let his tough demeanor relax and his face soften, "I know there's a lot going on so tonight, we will talk and I'll help you in any way that I can."

"Thanks." I smiled as I shut the truck, "I guess it's time I get going. I'll call you and Sawyer later." And with saying bye to the group of guys, watching them as they push and jump on one another, I turned to go behind the wheel of my car and quietly drive back to moms house.

The oven timer went off right at the same time there was a knock from the front door making Snoop go crazy, barking up a storm and clawing at the door like a damn cat. I took the foil covered dish out of the oven quickly before rushing to the door, pulling Snoop away. There stood Gary, Eric and their adopted daughter, Erica which was a surprise because I thought she was away at school.

"Hey guys! Mom will be down in a bit. Did you want anything to drink?" I smiled as they came in, carrying a couple of bags with them.

"I'll open the wine for everyone. Erica, come help me." Gary said as he walked towards the kitchen. Erica came up to me and gave me a soft hug.

"You okay? Dad told me what happened with Sara." she said quietly while she held my hands in hers. Erica was a sweetheart and almost like a little sister to me. Being twenty one, she has her whole world ahead of her and she has been studying culinary and about to finish school before she plans to travels to learn more hands on food from all around the world. Eric and Gary adopted her when she was seven years old after her last foster home abused her and she got put back in the system.

"I will be I think. Once I figure out the next step to everything in my life I think everything will work out."

"It will. I know it. You just have to push forward and believe."

"When did you become so smart?" I laughed and she just shook her head.

"I've learned from the best." she pulled me into a hug again, "Come on, let's get the table set and dinner finished."

"I'm going to go upstairs and check on Sara. I'll be back." Eric came over, kissed the top of Erica's head and mine before he trudged to mom's room.

With our arms linked, we headed into the kitchen where Gary was having a hard time looking for the corkscrew, going through every single drawer, muttering to himself. He was a site as he went to close a drawer and his fingers got pinched and I swear, he was just as clumbsy as the next person.

"Daddy...what are you doing?" Erica sighed out.

"I can't find it. Did you guys move crap again? I swear, when I set this house up for you everything was perfect!" he exclaimed.

"And where do you remember putting the cork screw?" I asked.

He stood there for a second, not saying anything while he glared, "Let's not talk about something silly like my memory." I could help but shake my head and smile. He totally forgot. I walked over to the drawer and pulled out what he was looking for while Erica got the plates and headed to the dining room.

"Right where you left it." I winked at him as he laughed and opened the bottle of red wine, grabbed the wine glasses and headed to the table.

Once Erica came back, she helped grab the sides and salad while I carried the home made shepheards pie and we set everything up. I couldn't help but wonder what was taking Eric so long with my mom upstairs and just as that thought came across my mind, he came down the stairs with her in his arms, helping her.

My heart hurt. She was getting weaker by the day and I couldn't handle this but I had to. Eric helped her to her chair while I got a plate ready for mom. Erica came over and hugged her. I looked over for a moment and I could see the tears forming in her eyes. I knew Gary and Eric told Erica about what happened but it never really hits you until you see it first hand. While in my moms embrace, she looked over at me and I knew she wanted to talk later so I nodded, letting her know I was here.

We got everyone situated and had dinner together. It was awkward but comfortable if that made sense. Eric didn't mention anything to mom about me losing my job, thank goodness. I couldn't take the look of disappointment from her if she found out. We overall talked about the simplest things. Erica told us about school and how her final exam is to create a menu and have one of the schools sous chefs assigned to her to execute every dish on the menu for a tasting by the head chefs. Once she's done she plans on traveling. Props to her, I couldn't do it.

Gary opened his own hair salon years ago and he's thinking about expanding and opening a second location out in Silverlake. It's a venture that could possibly put more stress on him and Eric but it's something they both talked about and I know if it's something he want's to persue, Eric will be there with him throughout the whole adventure.

Erica got up and went into the kitchen to get the cheesecake she made and brought it to the table. I knew looking at mom she was ready to talk about things that she has been hiding from me. My nerves were kicking if full force.

"So, Sara." Eric sighed out, "I think it's time we all have this conversation. I know it's hard but it's time."

"You're right and I'm sorry for not telling you. You have been my best friend for as long as I can remember."

"So, let's start from the beginning." Gary said while grabbing my mom's hand and Eric grabbed the other, "It's time we get everything on the table and we are not leaving until we do this."

Mom didn't bother to wipe the tears away as they stained her cheek and she nodded her head, "Two years ago, I was diagnosed with stage three pancreatic cancer. I pushed through as mucha as I could with Ava's help. Things were looking good for a while. The treatments were working and I even found someone in Dallas that was able to make a wig that looked exactly like my natural hair so no one even knew." she smiled, "There was a new experimental treatment that was supposed to help so we signed up for that but it didn't work so we went back to the treatment that was working until it stopped working about six, seven months ago."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Gary asked with tears streaming down his face. I just looked down, playing with my napkin listening to everything.

She shrugged, "I didn't want anyone to know and I asked Ava to keep it a secret. I quit my job. Austin, Eli and Tristian have no idea. They were speechless when I called them and told them I resigned. Bella and Hannah have been trying to reach out but I can't face them right now. I know that decision was wrong and put Ava in a terrible spot and for that I apologize my dear. It was something I should have never asked you to do. It was one of the worst decisions I ever made because it made it so you couldn't talk to anyone, you couldn't talk to anyone about what was going on and it has made you so closed off to your friends and family to the point where your own relationships are in jeapordy."

"Mom, I would do anything for you. You are first on my list, my priority." I said looking at her with tears in my eyes. I tried to blink them away but it was no use.

"You should be your first priorty Ava. You need to take care of yourself. Killing yourself, working two jobs to pay for my needs, it's not your responsibility. I wish I had the courage to say something sooner. You need to make yourself happy. It's what I want so I..."

"Move in with us Sara." Eric stated with Gary nodding his head, "I can get you home nurses to help with everything. We have an extra room we can make it into whatever you need and I have the medical background and the connections to make it all happen."

Mom shook her head no, "I can't do that to you..." she cried.

"Yes you can. You can and we want you to!" Gary stated.

"I'm selling the house..." I pursed my lips and closed my eyes. I know I saw the information from the realtor but I didn't want to believe it, "I'm giving part of the money to Ava to pay back for everything she's done for me and the other part is paying for a treament center that specializes in cases like mine. I am moving in there in two weeks."

"Why didn't you say anything to us first?" Gary asked, "We could have helped you!" I sat there, the anger building in my chest. I was about to explode but I wanted to keep it in. Not here, not now.

"This isn't your responsibility."

"It became mine once Phil passed away and you decided to move down here to be closer to us! I promised him I would take care of you! What kind of best friend am I if I break that promise to him!" Eric started to raise his voice.

"My decision has been made!"

"Who bought the house Sara." Eric asked.

"No one yet but it's going to be a private sale. I don't want to know."

"Stop it."

"No, do not sabotage that poor family who will eventually be moving in here. It's not right."

"What's not right is you hiding all of this, especially from Ava because from the look on her face, she had no idea you were planning any of this!" Gary snapped, "I love you Sara, so so much I would do anything for you! We could have been there for you since the beginning but you hid everything!"

"What about your own daughter! Look at what it's doing to her!" Eric yelled.

"Stop it!" I screamed, tears strolling down my face as my hand slammed onto the table, shaking the glasses. They all snapped their eyes at me, never seeing my lose myself like this before, "Just stop it! Mom, I love you but you never should have had me hold this secret for two years! And then try to sell our home without talking to me or telling me before hand? You knew I was looking for a cheaper place to live because of everything. I could have been here with you the entire time and now you're going into a treatment center and I'm moving to a terrible part of the city because that's all I can afford! I've bent over backwards to try to take care of everything and all I asked for was some communication on what was going on but you kept pushing me away. Telling me it's nothing or when I call, your short with me and what not. This is just too much. Eric, you should have noticed something was wrong over the past couple of years! You're supposed to be her best friend and you're chief of surgery for heavans sake and you didn't notice the warning signs? Are you that self involved in your own life? Hell, I was just taking courses and I noticed it! Gary, I love you but don't act so innocent. You have been in our lives for a long time and you never once came over to visit mom by yourself so all of this between everyone is just....ugh! The only person here not to point to is Erica and that's because she's still young and in school but she is the only person here who has asked how I was doing, asked if I was okay because she saw behind the tired eyes and stress bubble that I'm trying to hide! So you know what? Mom, you're right, I need to start fixing myself. I love you, so much, but before I can work on me, I need to figure out all this other crap out because you never talked to me!" I stormed out of the dining room, grabbed my keys, called Snoop and went to my car.

Gary and Eric were following me, calling my name and trying to get me to come back but I couldn't face them. I exploded when I told myself I wouldn't. I said terrible things to everyone when I didn't mean to voice it and now, all I'm feeling is guilt. After making sure Snoop was in the car, I pulled out and drove to a house I'm way to familiar with, noticing three cars in the driveway. I quickly wiped away the tears that were on my cheek and took out my phone to call them. Good thing it's only three.

"Ava?" He asked on the other line. I just sat there in silence, sniffling, "Where are you, what's wrong?" he asked again. When I didn't say anything, I looked to the house and seen him peak through the blinds, "Felix! I need help. Sawyer, stay there."

Aiden came out with Felix, both of them worried and scared. These big tough military men softened since being home.

"I got Snoop." Felix said as he opened the door and grabbed his leash to bring him to the backyard. Aiden opened mine, unbuckled me and picked me up bridal style as I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried into his chest

"Let's get you comfortable Ava. We're here for you." And I knew then, it was time to tell them what was really going on because now, I cannot do this on my own.