Forever, With Love

Chapter three

Art

“You were not supposed to see that.” She spoke as we walked through the front door to her apartment. She threw her stuff on the counter and started to pace. Her voice might have been calm as can be, but her mannerisms showed she was pissed. I didn’t dare move, fearing of something flying at me. It wouldn't have been the first time, so I shut the door behind me slowly and put my hands in my pocket, waiting for the okay to come in more. While she paced, mumbling nonsense to herself, I took a look around her place. I noticed the boxes being stacked in the corner and labels and a lot of it was labeled for donation.

I didn’t want to believe Sara when she said Ava was moving but the proof is right in front of me.

This wasn’t the home I remembered being in, the place where we spent many nights together in one another’s arms while Lucas slept in the guest room. This was a shell of an apartment, a temporary space. I couldn’t help but stare at the empty walls and shelves that had pictures of everyone from when her and Sawyer were in high school to recently. The counter used to have appliances and recipe books lined, waiting to be opened so we could cook something together but now, it’s just empty. I was afraid to see what the bedroom would look like, “Just…please…don’t tell anyone.” She begged coming over and standing in front of me.

I wanted to take my hands out and just hold her. She looked like she could use it but I was afraid of her pulling away. She’s been doing that since I walked away from her at Finn and Sawyer’s wedding. I don't blame her. It's my own fault.

She has no idea but I understand more than she knows. I can help her through this. I will help her through this whether she lets me or not but I knew she didn't want to talk about it right now, so I brought up the other elephant in the room.

“You’re moving.” I stated as I looked down into her brown, chocolate eyes. A gloss started to form as she tried to fight away tears, “What’s going on Ava? Talk to me, please.” My hands itched to touch her, hold her, comfort her but I stopped myself.

Fuck, I hate being a gentleman sometimes.

Shaking her head, she took a step backwards only for me to follow. I should stay away but I knew she needed someone but she’s a fighter, has been since day one. “I can’t…not right now. I don’t want to talk about it.” I could talk about her mom but it was like I knew that would open a biggest floodgate. I needed to figure this out first.

“Where are you moving to?” I asked ignoring her last statement. I needed to know. If it were anywhere unsafe or not suitable for her, I wouldn’t let her. I would figure something out. I could tell she was hesitant to tell me. She shook her head no but I just gave her that look, the look she knew meant that I would figure it out sooner or later, so it's better if she just tells me now.

“Trinity center.” She sighed and I froze with shock on my face. She knew what I was thinking as her eyes started to water up, “Don’t look at me like that. I have to.” She shook her head.

“No.” I deadpanned.

“No?” she glared.

“That’s right. You might want to hide your mom away from everyone. You might want to hide what’s really going on and I promise I won’t say anything even though it’s wrong to keep it a secret but there is no way in hell you’re moving to Trinity center. That place is terrible and you know it. You see it every time you’re working in the ER.” I said sternly, "You have options."

Trinity center was about thirty minutes away and a known place for crime and drugs. A lot of violence occurred, break-in’s, people getting hurt and stabbed. We saw it all the time in the emergency room, the gore and the looks on their faces of how scared they are. Woman and children getting hurt all the time. The overdoses. The attempted murders. There was no way she was going there. I don’t why she thought that was a good idea. Hell, she makes a crap ton of money at the hospital so why not find something smaller here or move in with her mom or one of our friends?

“You have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do or where I can and cannot live Art. You lost that right when you walked away from me.” She snapped.

“I walked away from you?” I asked, “You walked away from me first!” I rose my voice.

“It was for the best!” she yelled back throwing her hands in the air. I stood there with my arms crossed over my chest, waiting for her to go on but all she did was breath and calm herself down, “It was for the best. Whatever is going on between us will never work. I know you don't believe me but I need you to believe that otherwise…” she said softly after calming herself for a moment.

“And what happens if I can’t?” I asked, lowering my voice.

“You just have to trust me, please. With everything going on, I don’t have much of a choice right now. Leaving you was hard enough but this…” she said gesturing to all the boxes, “This is even harder.” She sighed as she turned away and went to sit on her couch, “Can you please…leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me. You promised me we would talk and now, that door is open and I’m not leaving.” I didn’t move from where I stood. If I did I can not be held responsible for what I may do to her. And when I say that, I meant hold her, kiss her and try to make her relax and smile.

Because the Ava in front of me is not the girl I knew. The girl I fell for was feisty, strong, independent and super sarcastic. She was loving and caring in more ways than one. The girl I fell in love with loved her job, loved her friends and family, loved life. But this Ava is a shell of a person fighting demon after demon and holding the world on her shoulder, refusing to talk to anyone or ask for help. She’s fighting with herself constantly only hurting her more. This Ava is not the Ava we knew and it was then I knew more was going on, a lot more and I needed her to tell me.

Because whether she likes it or not, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere and I will get everything out of her. Even if I have to drag her to my place or bring Lucas with me here I will. I even have vacation time saved up and I’ll use all of it to be here with her every damn day.

“Don’t.” she whispered refusing to look up at me.

“I said friends. We said friends and this is what friends do. We talk. We confide. We help each other out when needed. You’ve been there for me with Lucas plenty of times. You were there with Sawyer through everything. Let me be there for you. Please.” I begged.

“I can’t. This is my burden. My situation and after everything that’s happened to everyone I can’t put this on them.” I saw her wipe away a stray tear from her face, “It wouldn’t be fair.”

I started to make my way to her to fall to my knees in front of where she sat. I placed my hands on her thighs and rubbed a bit to calm her down as her legs shook, bouncing up and down, nervousness, anxiety, “Bella…” I whispered, “Look at me.”

She slowly brought her head up to face me. I couldn’t help myself but take my hand and cup her face, feeling her lean into it and close her eyes.

“I don’t want you to see me like this. I want to talk about it but I can’t. I can’t let you guys know what’s going on. I promised mom and everyone is still recovering from the past. It’s not fair…”

And that’s when I cut her off, “What’s not fair is facing the world on your own with no one to help you. What’s not fair is holding everything in without an outlet to release your frustrations or fears. What’s not fair is pushing those that care…and love you away when we could be right here, holding you and supporting you through everything.” I whispered, “Let me be there for you at least. As friends of course.”

“I don’t even know where to start. There’s so much.”

“Well, how about we start from the beginning. Your mom…” She shook her head.

“I’m not ready to talk about that right now. There’s still too many unanswered questions.” She sighed as she reached up and took my hand off her face, holding it tight.

“Okay, so how about this, when are you moving?” I asked looking around at all the boxes.

“Not for a month or so. Maybe sooner. I don’t know really.”

“Then why pack now?”

“Because I am a procrastinator and if I don’t do it now it will get done the day before and I’ll be panicking.” she laughed and I couldn’t help but do a small smile.

I reached out and grabbed her other hand in mine and brought them to my lips so I could place a soft kiss on her fingers, “You really are beautiful when you smile and laugh. You need to do it more often.”

She took her hands away and shook her head, “Friends are not supposed to talk to each other like that.”

“Eh, blame the Italian in me. We’re overally affectionate.” I laughed and she just smiled, “Please…talk to me about your mom…I want to help.”

“There’s nothing that can be done right now.” She pulled away and leaned on the back of the couch, patting the cushion next to her telling me to come up and sit, “It’s just a lot of figuring out what’s next.” I sense there was more but I didn’t want to push it.

“Okay, so why not move in with her?” I sat next to her and placed my arm on the back of the couch.

“She won’t let me and she won't tell me why. She’s actually really mad at me right now and we got into this huge fight last night. I was surprised she was that calm when I was in her room earlier.” She sighed and leaned her head on my chest, “Is this okay?”

I brought my arm and held her close to me, wrapping her up and feeling her warmth engulf me entirely. Placing a small kiss on the top of her messy blonde hair, I took in the scent of strawberries, surprised since we did run earlier today. “It’s perfect. You know you can always lean on me no matter what.”

“I guess…”

“No…not ‘I guess’, it’s an ‘I know and I will’. I am here for you whether you like it or not.”

“Whatever.” She mumbled into my chest, “Where’s Lucas?”

“Jordan and Summer’s and they are bringing him to school for me since he wanted to spend the night with the rest of the kids. I messaged him to make sure it was okay on our way over here.”

“Oh okay. Is he okay? How has he been?” she asked. I can hear the concern in her voice.

“He’s been great. He misses you a lot but I just tell him you’re busy with work.” She just nodded her head and let out a yawn. I knew she was tired. She always was after a run. I cannot count how many times we’ve gone to either her place or mine after our morning jog and nap before going into the hospital. It honestly was one of the best moments in my day, just having her lay in arms. Heaven is what it was. “Can we talk about why you left me the first time?” I needed to know.

“Can we talk about it tomorrow? I’m really tired and I have to be at work tonight so I need sleep.” She yawned. I looked down at her head, a bit confused.

“I told you, you’re off tonight. You’re not scheduled. Did you run too much and have a lack of oxygen to your brain?” I tried to joke but she didn’t respond. No chuckle, no scoff, nothing and that was when I heard her soft snores.

I looked down at her as she slept on my chest. Holding her tighter to me, I reached over and grabbed a blanket she had on the back of the couch, covering us up. Holding her in my arms again was heaven, it’s where I belonged. I knew it. She knew it. Everyone knew it.

All I needed to know was why. I’ve been hurt before and I was afraid of getting hurt again, but looking at her, I knew the pain would be worth it. Biting my lip, I felt her shift a bit as she nuzzled into me, “I love you Art…” she whispered as I closed my eyes and kissed the top of her head.

“Why?” I asked

“Because….” And she mumbled the rest. No. No. NO! I needed to know. My heart was racing so bad just waiting but nothing as she relaxed her body even more.

With a sigh, I gave her one last kiss, wrapped both my arms around her and closed my eyes, hoping this wasn’t the last time this happened. But of course, having her in my arms didn't stop the dreams that haunt me.

“Dad!” I yelled out, running through the house to the back yard. Dad was playing catch with Dean and right before he threw the ball, he snapped his head to me and rolled his eyes.

“What?” He snapped at me, making me wince a bit, “Can’t you see I’m busy? Your brother is leaving for school in a week.” I looked at Dean and seen him smirk. Dean was older than be by about a couple of years. He was always a cocky asshole and I couldn’t stand him. Him and dad have always been closer, closer than before especially after mom died.

“I just…I wanted to let you know I’m going to my friends house…” I mumbled, “I won’t be back until later.”

“I don’t care. I’m going to the station later. Just…don’t do anything stupid.” He rolled his eyes and turned back to Dean and threw the ball.

“Squirt.” Dean yelled out as I turned, making me turn right back around and roll my eyes.

“What?”

“Just remember what we talked about.” He winked and went back to throwing the ball with dad.

“Yeah. Whatever.” I mumbled walking into the house. I ran up to my room grabbed the keys to Dean’s bike, pausing at the picture I had next to my bed at my mom.

God, I missed her. Dad was English while mom was Italian. While Dean was a spitting imagine of my dad, I looked just like mom. Her dark brown hair, brown eyes, tan skin. I remember the times when I would go to her when I was younger, crying because Dean would beat up on me. Dad would always say that’s what brother’s do but something just wasn’t right.

I kissed two of my fingers and placed it on her face, my way of kissing my mother goodbye in case anything happened. Not like dad or Dean would care. I’m surprised Dean hasn’t kicked my ass for having his spare keys but whatever. He barely touches his bike.

Running out to the garage, I revved the engine, slapped on the helmet and took off down the road to my buddies house. His place was my safe haven and it’s where Summer and I started to get closer. Who knew my bro had a thing for her?

Oh, I did when he caught me leaving her house one day and beat the crap out of me saying she’s his. He’s crazy but no one believed me.

I pulled into Gage’s driveway and ran into his place. I loved it here. It was simple but it was home. His mom and dad welcomed me more than my own dad. “Art!” Gage’s mom called out from the kitchen, “Are you staying for dinner?” she asked.

I pursed my lips, my hands getting numb from nervousness, “I uh, actually wanted to talk to you and Mike if you had a moment.” My voice was shaky. This was a huge move on my part and I didn’t know if this was the right thing to do but I needed to do something.

“Of course. Go upstairs and get Gage and we’ll meet you at the table.” She smiled, walking over and kissing my cheek. I ran upstairs to Gage’s room, busting open the door and falling to his bed while he sat in his chair and played games.

“I was expecting you like hours ago.” He paused it as he turned to me with a c****d eyebrow.

“Sorry. I had to take care of last minute things at home.”

“You ready?”

“I guess. Are you sure this is the right thing to do?” I asked him. I needed that reassurance.

“It has to be. No one wants to believe us when we say your dad is a dirty ass cop. And no one wants to believe your brother is just as bad. You’re the good one of the group man and if this helps you get away from that life then we have to do it.” He stood up and stretched, "s**t, the crap they do makes my decision to be a cop that much more set in stone."

“But what about…”

“Summer will understand. I’ll talk to her and I’ll tell her you’re here and make her promise not to say anything to Dean and John. I’ll return your brother’s bike after we talk to mom and dad as long as you drive my car and park down the road. Half your s**t is here anyways in the garage so there’s no need to get the rest.” I nodded my head knowing he was right, “Plus, you don’t even have to go to school anymore you freaken genius. Just take the college courses online and you’re good to go for medical school soon.”

He was right. I needed to do this for myself and staying home wasn’t going to help. I had my job on the other side of town and I had a lease agreement ready for his mom and dad to look over and then I will go to the courts and get myself emancipated. No one knew about the apartment over the garage since it used to be a game room. When I came over six months ago with bruised ribs because my dad kicked my ass, Gage came up with this plan to turn it into a studio apartment.

“Okay, let’s do this before I change my mind.” I whispered. We made our way downstairs and the smell of pot roast filled the house. My favorite, “This smells amazing Gwen.”

“I would hope so. It was your mother’s recipe.” She smiled and my lips twitched a bit. Gwen and my mom were best friends, growing up together since kindergarten, “So, let’s sit down and you can talk to me about you moving into the apartment in the garage.”

“How did you…” I started when Mike chuckled.

“Stuart…do you think we don’t notice these things? You bringing a bag almost every time you come over? The gaming room being set up as a bedroom? Plus, the picture of you and your mom is on the table so I figured it all out.” Mike said.

“I promised your mom when she was on her deathbed that I would take care of you. She knew more about what was happening than anyone thought.” Gwen sighed.

“What are you talking about?”

“We know Stuart…” Gwen said as she held my hand, “We know what’s going on and we want to help…” I sat there for a moment looking at all of them. They knew what was going on. They knew about the neglect and the abuse I was facing from my father and brother and instant shame washed over me.

“This was…uh…a mistake.” I whispered standing up from the chair, “I’m going to go home.”

“What?” Gage said in surprise, “Why? They’re just going to…”

“Not if I run. I can. I have Dean's bike. He won't miss it.” I shrugged, “I just…I know your mom and mine were best friends and everything changed after she died but this is my problem. I can’t drag your family into it. I know once my dad finds out about the emancipation, he’s going to go after me and if I’m here there won’t be any stopping him. I won’t be able to live with myself if something happened.”

“Sit down son, right now.” Mike said with arms crossed over his chest but I didn’t listen and when he realized I wasn’t going to sit down, he came over to me. I closed my eyes and flinched, afraid of getting smacked, punched, kicked, something. But froze when I felt his arms around my body and hold me to him, “You’re not going anywhere. You belong here with us. You are going to be here until you get into college and then you’re going to go away and get your medical degree like you always wanted. You are going to do what you want and what you need to do to make not only your mother proud, but also yourself and we are going to help you.”

And they did. We dropped off the bike at my dad’s house and I left without looking back and they never came to look for me. I heard rumors about Summer moving somewhere and haven’t seen her since that day and I did what I needed to do. When dad moved to England to be with my brother a sense of relief washed over me. They left me without looking back and I never felt happier. I went to college and excelled, taking the maximum amount of classes each semester, including the summer to finish school early and start my residency.

It wasn’t until I was working trauma one day when my brother came waltzing in carry a child, a young child and grinned when he saw me at the nurse’s station updating a chart. When I heard him call my name, the sound of his voice made me freeze.

“Artie.” He said, “Wow, look at you. You’ve been…working out. You look…different.”

“I have and I do.” I turned to face him and looking at the little boy, “And who’s this?” I wasn’t surprised when he mentioned me working out. I was a punching bag at home for the longest time and once I left, I started to build my muscle, promising myself to never let me be that punching bag again.

“Your nephew, Lucas.” He smirked.

“Why are you here Dean?” I rolled my eyes when that’s all he would tell me.

“It’s time.”

“For?”

“Finishing what dad started.”

I froze, “No. I left you guys when I found out what dad was doing and I want nothing to do with it.”

He laughed a bit to himself, “Well…it’s a shame. I guess I’ll just have to convince you then.” I froze, thinking of what he could do. I have no connections here, nothing.

“You can’t do anything.” I glared and said under my breath so no one could hear me.

“Trust me… I can do a lot. These people you work with, it would be a shame if they all just…disappeared. Or maybe I’ll reach out to Gage and his family since they helped you. Or maybe…”

“I get it…I fuckin’ get it.” I said slamming the cover of the chart closed, “f**k my life…”

Later that night, we landed in California where I met a girl named Toya as she ran into my arms. “Help me…” she begged. I could see the fear in her eyes and when we were alone she told me everything she knew. The whole family situation was messed up. When Toya told me about her sister, Ashleigh, the name sounded familiar and when she showed me her picture, I realized it was Dean’s ex-girlfriend from high school. That’s when she told me her dad sent her up to New York for school and live with her mom for a bit and when she got older, she moved down here where she originally grew up. When she came home, her dad already moved to California to start his own business and that’s when Ashleigh approached her with Dean and the rest is history.

I was sucked into a life that I didn't want. The threats against Gage and his family I couldn't take lightly…and calling my brother boss was terrible and then Summer not recognizing me? That hurt but what was worse was Toya leaving to go back home with Ashleigh and leaving me nothing but a note, basically telling me to f**k off in a sense so I was forced to come back to Texas. Especially after everything we've been through.

My eyes shot open as I looked around me. The living room where we fell asleep was dark and the only light was coming from the moon shining through the window. “Ava?” I called out. I heard nothing, so I got up and stretched before heading to the switch to turn the light on, looking at the clock readying six pm. I shot a message to Jordan, thanking him for getting Lucas from school and as I went into the kitchen, there was a note on the counter.

Went to work. Sorry for falling asleep on you. I tried to wake you but you were in a deep sleep. I guess I’ll talk to you later- Ava

I rolled my eyes reading her letter. Of course she would leave me here and let me sleep. She was always like that. As I was grabbing my stuff, I called Ollie, one of our attendings, an Ortho goddess, “Hey Masters. What’s up?”

“Can you let Patterson know I will be there shortly. I need to talk to her.”

“Um…you know I totally would if she were here.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked confused, “She left me a note saying she’s working tonight…”

“Nope. Off. It’s on the board.”

“I knew I didn’t read that crap wrong…” Fuckin’ A. Ava, where the hell are you?