Forever, With Love

Chapter Nine.

Ava

Stay positive I kept thinking to myself.

Everything will be okay in the end my mom told me before I left to come to work after getting called in.

Keep pushing forward the inner voice was echoing in my head over and over.

I need to do something fun and exciting before I go crazy my subconscious was telling me.

So what if I lost my job at the hospital? At least I have this one I guess and I make good money in tips, I thought to myself as I cleaned the bar glasses for tonight. I make enough to help with the cost of the new apartment I’m getting.

Yeah, so I got evicted from my apartment. At least the landlord opened the door for me to get some of the stuff boxed up and I have movers coming to bring my furniture to the apartment I’m moving into tomorrow. I have it all planned out to the point where I don't even have to be there so I can spend time with mom. Maybe her and I can have a girls day in Silverlake.

While I was at mom’s, I got a message saying they were able to get it finished and I can get the keys and sign the lease tomorrow. I drove by to check the place out again and I'm not gonna lie, the place gave me goosebumps and not in a good way but it's what I could afford. I would live with mom, but she wouldn't have it. It was weird, I'm not going to lie. While pulling up, you can see people standing at the corner, looking suspicious as hell, eyeing me up and down as I parked by the buidling. I had a bad feeling but I shoved it to the back of my mind. I had to make the best of it. I already planned on going to the hardware store to get extra locks and stuff for the doors and windows just in case.

This new place honestly works out the best for my situation. It's the same distance from the bar and my moms and just a bit further away from everyone else because right now, I needed my space to wrap my head around everything that was going on.

“Ava, can you go in the back and stock up the juices for tonight? Ladies’ night so lots of pineapple, orange and cran!” one of the other bartenders yelled out as she was carrying a case of wine.

“Sure thing Luna.” I put the glasses away as well as the cleaning cloth and headed to the back with an empty crate to get the juices.

While filling up the crate, my phone was ringing nonstop. I silenced it I don’t know how many times until I got fed up and picked up the phone without looking at who was calling. I needed it to stop. I know this was just a bartending job, but I intended to to my best no matter what I did so hearing it go off all night was not going to be an option.

I totally should have looked at the screen before picking it up mindlessly.

“What’s up?” I asked nonchalantly putting the phone on speaker as I started to grab the drinks.

“Ava!” Art panted on the phone, “I have been going around everywhere looking for you.”

“Um…why? And why do you sound like you’ve been running marathon?” I asked as I grabbed a couple cases of pineapple juice.

“I needed to talk to you and I feel like I’ve been driving everywhere in this whole town, running from my car and searching everywhere.”

“Everywhere? And talk about what?” I knew about what, I think. There was so much.

“Yep.” He sighed out, “I just...needed to talk to you. Please. It's important and I don't know how much longer we can put this off.”

“I have a few moments now.” I was done avoiding him at this point. Maybe if we just heard each other out we could actually be friends. I just needed him to be honest with me about the woman in the café and the teacher. If he was seeing someone then so be it. I just wanted to know because things like the sleepover that happened is beyond inappropriate. The last thing I was, was a homewrecker and I just want him to be happy.

After the heart to heart talk I had with my mom before I got called in for Ladies Night at the bar, Blitz, in Silverlake, I decided to go with her advice. As they say, momma knows best.

She knows I hold the weight of the world on my shoulder but she’s right, I need to let some of that go, so I’m trying, which is why she needs me over tomorrow for dinner. She said she needed to talk to me about something important that would help us both.

“I…this is better in person. You’re mom said you got called into work.”

“I did.” It’s true. Just because no one knows I work here doesn’t mean I lied.

“But I went to the hospital and you’re not there.”

“I’m not.” Yeah, because I got fired.

“Where are you?”

“I’m working Art.” I sighed out, knowing that I was about to drop a bombshell that not even Sawyer knew about, “You know my mom is sick. How do you think she’s paying for everything?”

“What do you mean? Doesn’t she have insurance?”

“She does through the state. But it doesn’t cover everything. Her treatments are covered but what about the rest of her bills Art? Her mortgage, utilities, medication, food…someone has to pay.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s not working…she hasn’t been in a long time…”

“No one said anything…and I’m sure if they knew what was going on…”

“It’s because no one knows.” I sighed out, “Austin, Eli and Tristian were told by mom that she needed time off. She already used all her vacation time earlier in the year and when she knew she couldn't do it anymore, she left the company without telling them anything. So, I’m doing this to help her. She doesn’t want everyone to know and I'm respecting her wishes.”

“Is that why there’s the eviction notice on your door?” he asked me sofly and I closed my eyes for a bit.

“You weren’t supposed to see that.” I said softly, “I can explain…”

“Please. Why didn’t you talk to me Ava? Why not talk to Sawyer, Ray, Summer, Aiden, anyone? They could have helped you…hell…Ava…I would have helped you…let me help you.”

“Do you know how embarrassing it is to be in this situation?” I asked with a shakey voice, trying to hold the tears back as they threatened to fall, “Do you know how embarrassing it is that all of your closest friends are well off, more than well off, but because of different circumstances in your life, you can’t even aford to keep your own place? Do you know how embarrassing it is to get notice letters in the mail threatening to evict you because eighty percent of your paychecks goes to your mom and you can’t break your lease because of the penalties that come with it? Do you know how embarrassing it is, knowing you could ask for help from anyone and the would give you whatever you needed? It hurts your pride Art.”

“Bella…ascoltami...” he whispered, making me choke on my own air. Fuckin' Italian, “Sometimes, you need to put that pride a side and ask for help. There is no shame…”

“You just don’t understand Art. You still have your dream ahead of you. You still have everything you want in your life and have the ability to reach those goals.”

“What are you talking about? You still have all that too. I know…”

“You don’t know Art.” I said softly, “One day, I will explain everything to you but right now I can’t. I need to concentrate on my mom. She is my priority.”

“I can respect that but we do need to talk…”

“I mean, I have like five more minutes so you better make it quick.”

“The teacher at the school…”

“What you do on your own time is none of my business. We’re not dating. We’re friends. You can date and see who you want.” Those words stung coming out of my mouth and I was suprised at how calm it sounded, “Although, if I were you, I would make a choice because dating the teacher and the pretty red head in the café at the same time is wrong.”

“You are so stubborn.” He chuckled, “I just…I needed you to know that nothing is going on with either of them and I told the teacher you were my fiancé.”

I pursed my lips in frustration and closed my eyes, “Why would you do that?”

“Because…she’s creepy!” he laughed.

“You didn’t look like you were creeped out to me.” I mumbled.

“Bella, Ava, how many times do I need to tell you I only have eyes for you. It’s you I’m waiting on…”

“I know I know, once I tell you why, we can be together but until then, we are friends. That’s the problem Art. I’m not good with words. I’m not good at showing how I feel, especially in person. Plus, if you have a girlfriend you can tell me. The lady you were with at the café, she’s really pretty. You two looked good together and seems really nice from what we saw.”

“Ava…that’s not what…”

“Hold on.” I said and cut him off once I saw Luna pop her head into the door, “Hey Luna. What’s up?”

“You ready girl? Doors open in ten!”

“Yeah I’ll be right there. Let me freshen up my make up after I drop this off and we’re good to go!” I smiled at her as she winked and walked away from the back, “I gotta go.”

“What do you mean doors open in ten? Freshen your make up? Ava, where the hell are you?”

“Eh, don’t worry about it.” I laughed, “Where I am, you won’t find me.”

“Ava…” he groaned, “I swear to god if you’re working at the club or something…”

“The club?”

“The strip club…it sounds like…just please…tell me I’m wrong.”

“You have a crazy imagination Art. But I gotta go, the poles are waitin’ for me to grace them with my presence.” And I hung up on him before he could say anything, rushing out to the bar to drop off the juice and head to the bathroom to fix my make-up, to get ready for the night. I couldn't get the idea out of my mind about talking to him. Maybe...just maybe...it was time I opened up more. It would be hard...but maybe if I explained to him what happened in high school and in college maybe he would understand.

Maybe...

The night was crazy as the live band was playing and the girls and their friends filled the bar. I was still in shock that Art thought I worked in a strip club. I need money but even if I had the option, I couldn’t. I can’t dance. I’m uncoordinated and I don’t have the endurance to go up and down those poles. I give props to those ladies because I could never do it. There would be more laughter than anything as I imagine myself falling to my demise from an attempt to flip myself on the pole. There’s a reason why I’m a bartender wearing a tank top, shorts and sneakers. I put that thought behind me as I poured a few beers for a couple of male stragglers who thought the could lucky in here tonight.

The best part about ladies night are the random clueless guys that come in trying to get a girl to go home. The room is full of woman who just love other woman and when they get shot down, because they don’t understand the true meaning in a night like this, they come to the bar, flirt, drink and over tip. Easy money. I’m more than happy to let some poor guy spill his guts to me while I give him a beer or four.

I was shaking a tin when I heard someone yell my name. It was a voice I didn’t want to hear any time soon so I tried my best to ignore it the best I can. But he wouldn't relent.

“Ava!” he yelled again, “Is that really you?”

I served the drink to the half drunk girl wearing the smallest red dress I have ever seen and turned to look at him. His big green eyes bore into me like they have in the past. There was a lot of unresolved issues between us. He was especially confused when I broke things off with him suddenly. He had no idea why I did it. Dumbass. I’ve been avoiding him since the breakup a few months ago. I would be lying if I said he didn’t look good, he always did and he knew it, but his looks don’t make up for his ugly personality.

I rolled my eyes and took the order of the next young lady who came up, ordering four lemon drop shots. While I finished those and handed them off, Brandon slid right in front of me with the biggest grin on his face, “Well, look who we have here? You've been ignoring me. That's a little unbartender like of you.”

"And you're drunk. Go away."

"Nah, not that drunk. I think I'll stay a bit. The company is pretty good here." he winked.

“Isn’t this a little too far out of your comfort zone? You’re not one to slum it out in Silverlake.” I said with a straight face.

“Well, all the bars at home are boring and when I heard of ladies night, I had to come. I didn’t expect it to be lesbopalooza.”

“You’re a pig and an ass.” I snapped at him, “If you’re just going to insult people, just get out and go home.” I rolled my eyes.

“Nah, I think I’ll stay here especially since you’re here. Gotta make sure you’re safe and all.” He winked at me again. He made me want to vomit. What the hell did I see in this guy? Right. I didn't. I never even had s*x with him. He tried, but I just...I couldn't go through with it.

“Honestly, I would rather you not. You see, these woman here are not interested in you so there’s no point in you even being here.” I said with a raised eyebrow as I handed another girl a few more beers.

“Yeah, but you are.” He grinned and reached his hand out to me, “Come on Ava, you know what we had was good. You never even let me explain. You just left me with no explanation and out of the blue.”

“Honestly, there’s nothing to explain. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen or heard stuff that should have made me leave you a long time ago.”

“What are you even talking about?” He asked confused. Like, he was legitimentaly confused.

I let out a sigh and turned to Luna, “Hey love, is Tori back from break?”

“Yeah, you’re good to go!” she smiled as she tossed a bottle in the air with a crowd hooting and hollering at her bartending skills. I nodded at her and clocked out for my break and rounded the corner of the bar.

“Well, you coming or not? I don’t have all night!” I yelled over the crowd as I turned back to Brandon. He downed the rest of his beer and followed me outside to the ally where we would have some quiet to talk.

I'm so going to regret this.

It wasn’t a creepy dark ally that you would imagine, where the lights flicker in the darkness with trash laying on the side of the building and a drunk hobo around the corner begging for money. No, the bar owner turned this part of the ally into a break area for the employees. It’s actually well lite, clean and also protected, since the only way to get through here is with a code to the gate, a key or the door we just came through.

“Well…explain.” I said with my arms crossed over my chest as I leaned against the wall by the door.

“Can I just hold you for a moment, please Ava? I missed you.” He begged while he looked down, hands in his pockets. He looked defeated but I’m not playing his game.

“I would rather not. I’m in…a relationship.” I spit the words out of my mouth, knowing that I was going to regret it as soon as I said something. But hey, if Art can tell the cute teacher at the school I’m his fiance, I can tell Brandon I’m in a relationship. I just won’t say his name unless I have to.

“I don’t believe you.” He glared.

“You don’t have to believe me.” I shrugged, “I don’t care if you do. I know what’s going on in my life and it doesn’t involve you. I would rather not spend my entire break talking to you but you insisted because for some ungodly known reason, out of all the bars, you picked the one I’m working at.”

“You thought this was a coincidence, right? Of course not." he said, sounding like his old self again. Mental note, don't fall for it, "I just want another chance with you. A chance to talk to you and explain everything that happened and answer any questions you may have because Ava, I love you.” He said reaching out to grab my hand before I moved it away.

“Yeah, I don’t believe you. Did you love me when I found out you were cheating on me? Woah, let me rephrase that, when you were cheating on your girlfriend with me?” his eyes went wide, “Oh yeah, I know about Beth. I know all about her. Your high school on and off again sweetheart who you talked about marriage with? You’re not very good at keep your lives separated. The next time you have your girlfriend come to the hospital to meet you for lunch, you should really make sure it’s a day I’m not working and that she doesn’t ask me where you are.”

“I broke up with her as soon as I could Ava. We were never together when I was with you. You need to believe me.” He begged as he took a step closer. With every step he took to me, I took a step away, “You have to believe me. I broke up with her as soon as I started to have feelings for you. I was never with her when we were together. She's crazy, delusional and did everything she could to try to get together with me. It's not the first time she's done it and won't be the last. I can even prove it! I have messages between her and I, her begging for another chance when I told her no and that was before we were together. You can even go through my phone!”

“I rather not to be honest. And what about the conversation with the mom from one of your long time patients? I heard that loud and clear, even heard everything. You should really make sure no one was about to come into the room while you two were in the bathroom.”

“What are you even talking about?”

“The conversation you had with her, gosh, I don’t know what her name is, the lady with the short blonde hair, her child has some chronic disorder and waiting for a transplant. She asked for some time with you. You told her you couldn’t, that you were in a relationship and needed to stop this. She trailed her hands up and down your arms and gave you those ‘f**k me’ eyes and when she said she could keep a secret, you groaned and said s**t, one more time ain’t going to kill anyone and she took you in the bathroom. And it didn’t kill anyone, but what it did kill was this relationship.” His eyes went wide.

“It was a mistake…Ava…please…I never did anything like that ever again. Please.” He stepped closer to me and cupped his hand on my neck, trying to make me look up at him. When I did, I saw the sadness in his eyes but I wasn’t going to fall for it. No way in hell, "What do I have to do to prove to you that I truly love you."

I stood there in complete silence. I didn't know what to say. He sounded sincere, even though he was drunk but drunken words tell sober thoughts. Even if I wanted to give him a second chance, I couldn't mentally do it. I couldn't put myself in that situation again.

When he came down to try to kiss me, I raised me hand and slapped him across the face, stunning not only me, but him as well. I’ve never slapped anyone like that before. “You have no right! Don’t you dare touch me. Don’t you dare come near me again. I want you gone. Leave and I don’t want to see you again.”

“Kind of hard since we work together beautiful.” He smiled, not even being phased by the slap, “I will be seeing you around and you better tell that boyfriend of yours to be careful and watch his back. I’m not done fighting for you. Ever.” He went to turn back to the door and when he opened it, the music blaring into the silent ally, “And the slap babe, total turn on.” He winked and went back inside.

I didn’t want to go back in. He was in there and it was already midnight and I just wanted to go home and avoid him. After taking a moment to compose myself, I walked back into the building and instantly saw him, standing at the bar with a beer in his hands, eyeing the door I just walked through. I couldn’t do this but I didn't have a choice, I needed the money.

So, I sucked it up and finished off the rest of the night which went on for another two hours. He finally left after another hour, one of his friends I recognized pulling his overally drunk ass away, but not before he turned to me and gave me a wink. Shivers and not the good kind, ugh. Once closed, I rushed into the back and packed my stuff as quickly as I could and rushed out the door to the employee parking lot to get to my car as quick as I could.

I don’t know why I was panicking. He would be dumb to do something here I just knew I needed to get home, well, to moms house for one last night. As I was driving, I knew I needed to talk to someone, anyone at this point. My head felt like it was going to explode so I grabbed my phone, unlocked it and went to hit Aiden’s phone number.

He knew me better than most and since Miles is older, him being up was more likely to be a reality, even if it was two in the morning. When the phone rang and rang, it went to voice mail so I left a message.

“Hey, it’s me. Can you meet me at moms? I know it’s late but something happened tonight and I really need someone to talk to.”

The drive to moms took about twenty minutes and I was anxious. I had a lot going on and stuff I needed to talk to mom about because it was time not only I was honest, but she needed to be honest with everyone as well. The more I thought about everything, the more everything became clear. I needed to make sure I took care of myself. Mom needs to let the others know because I can't do this on my own. I need help. I also need to talk to those closest to me and let them know what was going on with me. It was about time they all knew.

What I didn’t expect to see when I pulled into mom’s driveway was Art’s car, with Art leaning against his door, arms crossed and not looking happy. I sat in my car and looked at him and he just stood there, watching me and in the couple moments of silent stares, he dropped his arms, walked to the door, and opened it.

Looking up at him, I didn’t see anger or annoyance, but he was afraid. Afraid of what? I don’t know, but he held out his hand for mine and gave me a soft smile.

“Come Bella. Lucas is inside sleeping, Lets go to the back.” I had no choice but to put my hand in his, letting his soft grip comfort me as he led me to the back porch because at this point, I needed someone I could trust to talk to and he was one of the ones I trusted the most.