Forever, With Love

Chapter Thirteen

Art

“I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I’m fuckin’ clueless at everything in my life. I don't know left from right, up from down, forward and backward. I'm literally lost. Let me start from where I left off because I need some perspective and I'm hoping you can lead me in the right direction. Does this place have liquor because I need an entire bottle right about now.” I groaned as I dropped my head onto my arms as I leaned on top of the table.

“Well one, no this is a coffee shop so there is no alcohol here and that was your choice to meet here and two, that’s why I’m here. I’m here to give you perspective, so don’t just sit there and keep me waiting. Talk to me.” Celeste said, crossing her legs and crossing her arms, "And the sooner you spill your guts to me the sooner we can figure out a solution."

I slowly lifted my head and rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands, grunting and groaning at the situation I put myself in, “Last week…I was at Sara’s house with Ava. She called me the night before but she meant to call Aiden, but I showed up and spent the night with her outside holding her while we talked about Sara and my mom. The next day, I got paged to the hospital by chief, but he wasn’t even there, it was weird. He told Ollie, one of the other doctors there, that he had prior commitments that he couldn’t break and yet, he called all hands on deck..”

“Why do you think that? There must have been a good reason.”

“I know there was a dinner I was supposed to go that night. Ava was going to be there. So I’m assuming that he skipped work to be there but I mean, with what happened that night, I think we could have used him. Hell, he should have brought Ava back because we could have used her too. I don’t know why they didn’t postpone the dinner and come and help. I mean…I get why but still, ya know?” I shrugged, “But some s**t went down and I wish I was there to support Ava.”

“What happened?”

“I don’t even know! All I know is that at the dinner there was an arguement and Ava went to Aiden's and there was more drama because that's all that fills our lives apparently. The only thing they told me was there was an issue at school when Felix went to pick up Lucas and Ava had to get involved but Aiden finished it. My phone blew up while I was in surgery and after I was done with the first one, I rushed out of there and went to Aiden’s.”

“What did you see when you went to his place?”

“Lucas was sleeping on Sawyer’s lap while Ivy and Miles were playing video games. I came into the house and Ivy looked up at me and ran and gave me a hug. I mean, it’s not out of the normal for her to do that but she was crying because she felt so bad for Lucas. That’s when Aiden and Felix pulled me outside and told me what happened.”

“We have a lot to talk about.” Aiden said with a gruff in his voice. Sometimes, I don’t get this dude. He shows no emotion but his heart is something else, “What the f**k is going on between you and Lucas’ teacher?”

I stood there, stunned. Where the hell was all this coming from? “Nothing. Absolutely nothing is going on between us and nothing has ever happened. Why?”

“Felix went to get the kids from school. He was able to get Miles and Ivy just fine but when it came to Lucas, the batshit crazy teacher he has refused to let him go. He was fuckin’ crying on the stairs while she was arguing with Felix!”

“What the f**k?” I started to see all shades of red. She’s crossing the line and it’s time I end whatever fantasy she has going on.

“Yeah. But that’s not all…Ava man, she is…scary as shit.” Felix shuddered, “The way she held herself back from beating the s**t out of your girlfriend was…I don’t know how she had that much self-control. I don't believe in hitting women but I was so close myself but Ava man...mama bear came out and didn't take any shit.”

“She did almost beat the s**t out of her.” Aiden said while Felix grinned, "I had to hold her crazy ass back when we were in the office because I was afraid I would have to go into my savings and take out everything I had for potential bail money." My eyes went wide. I didn’t know what to think of this.

“Steph almost beat the s**t out of Ava? What the f**k happened today and why would you bail Steph out?” I yelled.

Felix smacked me in the back of the head, “No dickwad, think with your upper head. The other way around. She told Lucas to come to us and he ripped his arm away from crazy. Ava stormed into the school and said crazy followed.” Felix rolled his eyes.

“I followed them because honestly, I wanted to see Ava punch someone. It’s been a while since she’s done that purposely so I knew if she did, it was going to be a good one.” Aiden shrugged like it was no big deal, “They were screaming at each other in the office and I just laughed. Do you know who the principle is? The brother of the police chief. Let’s just say, things are now taken care of after I held Ava back before she did any physical damage.”

“What did you do?” I said in shock.

“Well, we told boss man exactly what happened. Of course, screwball tried everything she could to say we were lying. It wasn’t until other parents stepped in who witnessed what happened and back us up. They said they’ve seen Felix pick Lucas up before with no problem. In the end, we left, well, I dragged Ava out of the office kicking and screaming as I threw her over my shoulder with bossman saying he had to have a long conversation with your girl.”

“Can you guys stop saying she’s my girl, girlfriend or whatever. Nothing has ever happened and nothing will ever happen between her and I. You know that.”

“That’s not what she said.” Felix smirked.

“What are you even talking about?”

“Before the brigade was brought in, she said some interesting things about you and her and how you two were together and…”

“Please…spare me the nightmarish details. I promise, nothing has ever happened. Hell, I told her I was engaged to Ava for gods sake and to be honest, I haven’t been with anyone since I first laid my eyes on Ava so whoever says anything otherwise is blowing smoke out of their ass.”

"That explains so much.” Aiden groaned out, “Is that why Luke called her mom?”

I stood there…stunned, “Mom?” I questioned, “I mean, he asked about her being his mom but I told him that right now it couldn’t happen, not until I fix things between her and I.” and they both went silent, “But he called her mom...what do I do guys? Help me.”

“You need to give her space. Let her figure out her demons and when the time is right, maybe you guys can try again. But when she does open up and tell you everything, just promise me you'll keep an open mind.” Aiden gripped me in the shoulder as I gave him a confused look. What the hell was he talking about? Keeping an open mind? That's all I do with her.“She went home after we brought the kids here. I tried to get her to stay but she said something about getting settled.”

“Settled?” Felix asked.

“She moved.” I shrugged. I have a feeling I knew where but what was I supposed to do? I went there before and was told there was no one there with her name, “But yeah…space…”

“So, Lucas called her mom.” she asked with a c****d eyebrow. I couldn’t help but try to suppress the smile on my face.

“Yeah.”

“And that makes you feel…”

“On top of the fuckin’ world. It’s no secret that I adopted Lucas officially as soon as I could, after Dean signed away his rights after he recovered from getting hurt at jail, and he’s been missing that mother figure but damn, hearing him say that, it’s like all of the feelings that I’ve had just and been trying to hide emerged. But then I remember she left me for him…” because talk around the hospital was that Brandon was inching his way back into the picture. I couldn't stop hearing the words he said in front of me to the other attending.

How he finally has the girl of his dreams and he's not going to mess this up.

How he wants to be better for her.

How she's the most beautiful person he's ever seen and happy that she's back in his life.

I never wanted to punch someone so bad before and I used all the restraint I had to hold myself back. Fuckin' asshole.

Our meeting went on for another half an hour, ending with us talking about her wedding to Olivia this weekend. I haven’t had the chance to ask Ava to be my plus one. Every time I’ve had the time, it slipped my mind because of everything else going on in our freaken’ lives. And now with this new crap going on with Brandon, I don’t even know if I should.

As I walked out of the building, my phone pinged, making me groan. I'm starting to hate the noise that I used to love. I had plans with Lucas today but I guess I’ll just push them to tomorrow, like I always have to. It’s moments like these that make me question everything I’m doing with my life. Becoming a doctor has always been my passion but that was before Lucas. After everything that happened with my fucktard of a brother and me taking custody of Luke, the time away from him has been killing me. I am so thankful for those in my life right now that help support the both of us, especially with the kids still going to daycare before camp starts. If it weren’t for Dylan, Jordan and Finn running the summer camp, I would be stressing for sitters this summer.

Luke has taken an interest in hockey after he saw Miles play a few games last year. He wants to grow up to be just like him and as long as he’s happy playing the game, I will support him with everything I have. To be honest, it makes me happy that he’s taken an interest. It was something I wish I had growing up and I know for sure I would give this kid whatever he wants in this world and if he wants to play hockey then so be it. Done. And I’ll be at every single game no matter what’s going on.

I parked at the hospital and made my way into the front of the building, catching a blonde head rushing past a group of people. My heart almost ran out of my chest as the site of her even though it seemed like she was trying to hide from everyone. I haven’t seen her in almost a week and I’ve been going crazy waiting for the right moment to pull her away and sit her down, preferably in my lap. I would have messaged her, but she needed space...so space is what I gave her no matter how hard it was to just take my phone out and send her a simple message.

But not today Ava, you’re not getting away from me. Not today.

I started to make my way towards the west wing, trying to follow her every step. In the west wing were a couple of special sections of the hospital. One being the hospice center which terrified me. If she went in there then that told me Sara was a lot worse but there was also the OB’s offices, fertility clinics, labs, dermatology and much more. It was an area for certain specialties.

Through weaving in and out of the crowd, I lost sight of her. I had to make a decision. Do I follow her towards the west wing or do I report to duty for a day of hell ahead?

Fuck it.

I scanned my card and went through the doors of the west wing, immediately going to the hospice wing. It was the only thing that made sense and with every step I took, my chest tightened. With every step I take, looking for her, she is no where to be found. Every room is empty. Every office I looked into is deserted. I must be imagining things because at this point, it’s getting ridiculous but a sense of relief washed over me knowing she or Sara were not in the hospice portion.

I wanted to check the other areas hoping to run into her but my phone pinged again, making me wince. I needed to get ready for my shift. With an aching pain in my chest, I left the west wing and headed to the lockers to grab my coat and get ready for what was waiting for me and that is a day from hell.

“Today sucked balls.” Ollie groaned as she slid into the booth next to us, “Never do I want to see that crap happen again. They're a bunch of dumb ass kids.”

Ollie and I just got done at a shift where we were both called in. Archer and Aiden were surprisingly called there as well, since they were done with their academy training, they were both riding along with their temp partners when the call was made so they could take statements from the kids that weren't in surgery. It was hell and after a rough day, we decided to go out and get a few drinks. Well, Ollie, Aiden and I. Archer decided to ditch because he apparently had plans and was leaving for the weekend. I had an idea of where he was going but I wasn't about to ask questions. He looked like a man on a mission.

I was also home free for a few hours since Jordan has Lucas so he can spend some time with Ellie, Ivy and Miles so I had a few hours before I went to pick him up unless they decide to have a sleepover, which was the most likly scenario. Ever since the issue with the school, the kids have been tighter than normal. It makes me glad they have great relationships because they will need that in the future. And with tomorrow being my day off, well, I have the weekend since I have the wedding to go to, tomorrow I’m taking Luke with me to get a suit and spending some guy time.

It is much needed and I cannot wait for us to spend the day together. I need this time with my little man.

And at least today was his last day going to school or daycare, whatever it was. Monday starts summer camp and I know everyone's excited.

To be honest, I was dreading this wedding. I love Celeste and I love Olivia and I am very happy to be witnessing their union but I couldn’t help the burning jealously that came to fruition. I was hoping by this point in my life I would be settling down but instead, I’m chasing after a woman who seems like she doesn’t want to be caught.

I'm not one to give up but I'm starting to think it might be time. If she doesn't want my help or be with me then why put myself through that torment? Yeah, I fuckin' love her with everything in my being but she has her demons. I have mine and we are both not in the right place to balance them out.

But hell, this is becoming too fuckin' hard.

“What even really happened? All we know is that there were some dumbass kids who decided to almost kill themselves.” Aiden asked from as he took a sip from his beer, pulling me from my thoughts. Yeah, Aiden is with Ollie and I, and well, Felix is there too but for some weird reason, he hasn’t said a damn word all night, only being invited because he was home alone. It’s like his tongue is missing. I can’t say I miss his yapping but the look he keeps giving Ollie is confusing, like he hates her and I have no reason why he has that look on his face.

“Silverlight happened. This place is cursed, I swear.” She rolled her eyes as she took a long swig of her beer, “Their football team decided to enjoy life a bit and go to one of the hidden falls on the outside of town and jump into the water from a cliff and well, let’s day a couple of them didn’t fare to well.”

Felix gritted his teeth and sucked in a breath, “Ouch. I cannot imagine doing something like that.”

“You’re telling me. Those idiots just ruined any chance they have at their season this year. Even if their bones heal, they have to do extensive rehab. Those poor idiots.” Aiden mumbled as she shook her head. Disappointment was written on her face.

“Not like they had a chance anyways with Dylan, Tristian and Jordan still coaching the team again this fall. How does Jordan feel about it?” I asked, “Does he even know? I mean, that’s where he graduated from.”

“Who the hell cares.” Ollie laughed, “They did it to themselves. Dumbasses.”

“Ouch. Still as cold as ever. Some s**t never changes.” Felix groaned as his fingers tapped on the wooden table..

“Why do you always feel like you need to put your two sense into things?” Ollie snapped back at him.

“You never complained about it before but when it’s against you, you take offense to it.” Felix pointed out.

“I didn’t take offense to anything I just don’t get why you have to voice your opinions all the time. If you have such a problem with it, then why did you come? No one made you come. You could have just stayed home and played with yourself instead of coming out.” She rolled her eyes.

“Why must you always be like this?”

“And why do you always insist on aggravating me to no end?”

“Wait…how do you two even know each other?” I asked, watching them bicker back and forth.

There was complete silence for a brief moment as they glared at one another. There was so much tension you could slice it with a dull, rusty, butter knife. “Yeah, that’s a good question. I’ve been with this dip since we were eighteen.” Aiden was right, they met at bootcamp and have been together ever since. No one really knows anything about Felix's past so this whole thing with Ollie is bringing some things to light. Obviously, they have a past and we want to know what it was.

They looked at each other one more time before Ollie broke the silence. “This ass is my cousin.” she groaned out as she leaned her head on the back of the booth, “My mom and his mom are...sisters...and as close as they are, I can't stand him but can we leave this conversation for another day? I need a freaken drink.” She reached out for her drink and slammed the rest down.

"Yeah, cousins. Is that what we're calling it? Because last I knew there was no blood relationship between us." he rolled his eyes.

"Just be quiet please. You're giving me a headache."There was a moment of awkward silence before she stood up and stretched, “Aiden, let’s play some darts.”

His lip went up in a bit of snarl as his eyes drifted to the bar, “Later.” He got up and went to the bar. He looked like he was pissed off at something as he went to the barstool at the end and sat there, staring at a black and pink haired bartender who was on the other side.

“Let’s go Ol.” Felix grinned.

“No.” she rolled her eyes.

“Are you really going to be that stubborn?”

“With you, always.”

He shook his head and grinned, “Some things never change. Come on, we’ll make it interesting.” He winked, “You know you were always bad on turning down a bet. Come on. Let’s go.” With a roll of her eyes, they both went to the dart boards.

I need to know what's going on with them. They remind me of Finn and Sawyer to a point before they got together, the hatred was evident, but there's more. He’s never mentioned Ollie and she’s never mentioned him and I cannot wait for the truth to come out.

I was about to get up and get out of here when it was in that moment the hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up. The feeling of butterflies filled my stomach. It’s like I can sense whenever she enters the room. In that instance, I turned my head and looked right at the woman that occupied my mind more than anyone ever has before.

And not a moment later, dread washed over me. I didn't know this was the bar she worked at. In the end, it made sense, being away from Crossdale with less of a chance of seeing someone she knew.

I wanted to puff out my chest and stomp over to her, pull her to my chest and let out a growl of jealousy as I watched him holding her hand as they talked. The look on her face was hard and then soon softened a bit, making me slightly concerned. There was no way in hell I was going to sit here by myself and watch this unfold but I knew I couldn’t go up there and interrupt what was going on. Something was being said between the two and it was intense.

I pulled the stool out next to Aiden as he held a new ice cold beer in his hands, playing with the label as his eyes never left the dark haired woman on the other side of the bar, remembering her name as Luna. I remember him telling me the story the last time when we were at Nash’s.

“Still haven’t talk to her yet, huh?” I nudged him, "Chicken shit."

“Still haven’t talked to Ava about your deep feelings? You're as much of a p***y as I am.” He said without a hint of emotion in his face, “No point in talking to her when she has no idea who the f**k I am.”

“And who are you to her? I know you said you were here when she got into it her boyfriend but I think there’s more.” He shrugged his shoulders and grunted, “One day Aiden, you’re going to spill your guts to me and we’re going to be the best of friends.” I winked making him release a small puff of air as the corner of his lips tilted up.

“One day maybe but that day isn’t today. Now, what are you going to do about that?” he grabbed his beer and tilted the top to where Ava was standing behind the bar, “And when the hell did she start working here?”

“She said she started working a second job to help…pay for expenses.” I mumbled as I looked at her. Beautiful in every sense of the word. The only thing that was turning me off was the fact her hand was encased in Brandon’s who sat on the other side of the bar, spewing some s**t from his mouth that made her furrow her brows and purse her pouty, pink lips.

“Expenses?” he grunted.

“Yeah…” and she never left my sight for the rest of the night.

“You need to fix s**t with her before that ass comes back into her life. I know I said space but...maybe I was wrong.” He mumbled. I was about to open my mouth but was stopped when my phone started to ring in my pocket. I only pulled it out incase something was wrong with Luke. He's been having a hard time since the school situation but it's getting better now that Steph no longer works there and he's done for the year until fall. Thank god. As I looked at my phone, my stomach fell into the floor, my face paled and my heart stopped.

Because the name on the phone was one I haven’t seen in a long time.

The name on my phone was one I never wanted to see ever again.

Toya.

Fuck my life. What the hell does she want and whatever it is, can't be good.