Rich lies & poor truths

Chapter 10 - Chemistry

I exit the shower from the cold blasting water, feeling more awake than I did.  I think of the pain I endured, feeling uncomfortable, not knowing why and what it is.  I think of Stephen and his intense stare, filled with vulnerability.  I think of his soft touch and his warm hands and how I wanted more.  I take the plastic I put over my cast off and throw it in the dustbin.  I rub my hand over my face, hoping to take off all my uncertainties.  I sigh and look at myself in the mirror, my fringe  lying lifelessly over my eyebrows again. Why did Stephen kiss me?  Is he into me the way I’m into him.  Does he feel the same things I feel for him?  Or is he just using me, like he probably does with a lot of other girls, given his angel like looks and lean built.  My thoughts drift to Lisa, laying in his bed and even after everything that has happened, I still get mad.  What did they do that night?  Is Stephen just using girls?  But why did he come to my rescue when LIsa told him I didn’t feel good.  If he didn’t care, he wouldn’t have come.  Unless Bonnie sent him.  I give one last look at my dark eyes in the mirror before I walk out, to my room, loving the earthy smell the plants are giving.  I open my closet, seeing the same old clothes that I wear everyday.  I bite my lips and walk towards my dad’s room, the towel wrapped tightly around my body. I feel a spasm of memories seeing the room still looking the same as when my mother lived.  My dad’s side is neat and boring but my mom’s side is colorful and exotic.  I get a lump in my throat seeing the famous blue flower she painted hanging against the white walls saying that it reminded her of me.  I  feel sad at how my dad rarely uses this room, probably being filled with so many memories like I am right now.  Colorful blankets are neatly stacked on her favourite purple armchair.  I close my eyes, thinking of the times I would sit on her lap while she read me our favourite fairy tales.  I shake my head trying to get rid of all the memories and open her big brown closet.  Colorful clothes hang lifelessly and I lightly strill my fingers over it. I hook off the clothes and walk with it towards my room and throw it on my bed. I take my phone and connect it and play Florence and The machine - Moderation.  I take a deep breath, before I sort through my mom’s clothes, knowing that she had a good fashion sense. Pink crop tops, short high waisted jeans was the type of clothes she usually wore, not afraid to show her slender body.  I picked out a long sleeve crop top, light brown in color and tropical leaf printed paper bag shorts.  I look at myself in the mirror, a small smile finding my mouth. I look just like my mom, but this time I love it. I swab my fringe away from my forehead and clip it away with a bobby pin.  I look at my already different complexion.  I open my drawer and take out my make-up bag my mom bought me a few years ago that I’ve never used before. I take out the mascara and swiftly put some on.  I put some pink lipstick on my cheeks like my mom usually did.  Lastly I apply some red lipstick on my lips and look at myself in the mirror.  I smile at myself loving the pure and young look. I gulp, trying to feel good on my new look unlike yesterday.  I want more. I grab my phone and try to call my dad again for it to go to voicemail again.  I frown. If something bad happened someone would have let me by now.  I shake off the uneasy feeling and decide to go to his work.  I walk towards the living room and yell in fright when I see Stephen sitting comfortably with his feet stretched out on the sofa.

“Oh, you’re still here?” I question with caution.

“Yep.” he says, but doesn’t turn to look at me.

“Oh, well I’m going to go now.”  I say and put my hands on my hips.

He turns and looks at me, his eyes becoming big.  I see him lick his lips when his eyes land on my legs and he scratches his head as if he’s uncomfortable. I look at his sharp jawline and he clenches his teeth and I want to kiss him all over again.

“It doesn’t look like you were in pain a few moments ago.” he grunts and I frown at the sudden harsh expression on his face. It seems as if there’s hurt in his eyes as well.

“Well aren’t you wondering why I was in so much pain?” I ask, curious about his answer.

He scratches his neck, his expression shifting to a guilty one.

“Lisa said you were on your period.” he stared deep in the eye.  Lisa probably thinks I’m on my period, being so irritated with her this morning.  I chuckle and it turns into a laugh, “Well thanks for helping me.” I say and start to walk towards the front door.  He follows me but stops and leans against the wall.

“What?” I ask, raising my eyebrow at him.

“Where are you going?” 

I turn my face in disgust, “Why do you care.”  I want to say that he probably just wants s*x but I hold my tongue.

“Why won’t I care.” he states and I stop in front of him, eyeing him with curiosity.

“You care?”

“Why do you change so much.”

“What do you mean.”

“Like everytime I see you, you’re a different person.”  I gulp at his words, knowing that he’s right.  Ever since I met him, I want to be someone else.  Or actually more like myself.  I look down at my outfit, knowing that it’s different from what I usually wore.  But I liked it more.  It makes me feel more confident.

I sigh and walk out of the front door without saying anything in his comment.  He follows me outside and I lock the door.  I walk on the pavement pathway towards the quiet street.

“Where are you going?” he repeats his previous question.

“I’m going to my dad’s work.” I say sternly, starting to walk down the street.

“Well let me atleast give you a lift.” he says loudly and I look at him, giving me a stubborn look.

I shake my head, “No it’s fine.”  He saw the marks on my wrist which made me mildly uncomfortable.  What is he thinking of me?  Does he feel sorrow towards me?

“Well then I’m going to walk with you.” he states and I lift my eyebrows at him.  Not being able to hold in my smile, I turn towards his house.

“Lead the way.” I say and gestures towards his car standing in the open garage.

He gives me a flirtatious smile and walks towards the car with a small hop in his feet. I follow him and he opens the passenger door for me.  I climb in with an embarrassed smile. He closes the door with a cocky look, as if he just won the jackpot. He climbs in the driver's seat and puts on the radio. I feel nostalgic when the song Mr. little jeans- Runaway plays.  I look at Stephen’s mesmerizing look and feel a warm feeling in my heart.  Maybe he does care.  His eyes.  I hitch a breath, just looking at it.  He glances at me and I quickly look away, but not before I could see a small smile playing on his lips.  I look outside at the busy streets and suddenly feel the urge to dance. To not care about anything and just dance. I imagine myself in the middle of a dance floor, jumping up and down and just letting go of everything.  I see a small bar named ‘Logstock’ and take a deep breath before I ask, “Can you stop there?” he frowns but  turns the car and parks in front of the bar.

“Thanks.” I say giddy and jump out of the car. I cautiously walk inside the doors for it to make my entrance loud. An old man sits in front of the bar and a woman around her thirties is busy throwing alcohol in a small glass for the man.  I hear the sound of faint music playing in the background and walk towards the small open space.  For a moment I let go of my insecurities and start to jump up and down. At first my eyes kept shifting at the old man and lady’s weirded out stares but shook it off and jumped more.  I turn in the air as I jump, feeling the heavy weight of unneeded stress being lifted off of me.  I lunge forward, making a cool move when the door creaks and I see Stephen walking in.  I throw my hands in the air and wave it side to side and flip my hair, feeling the rhythm as the music gets louder.  I look at the woman to see her smiling at me and I give her a toothy grin back.  I l start to sway my hips side to side. Beads of sweat start to form on my skin but I love the feeling.  I see Stephen leaning with his arms on the bar, looking at me from under his long lashes.  I feel a burning sensation in my heart and I look up at the burning lights, feeling it speak to me.  It almost feels like I’m slowly drifting up, igniting with the lights.  I smash my head in the air loving the feeling my long hair makes.  I laugh at myself, feeling stupid for all the times I kept to myself.  My breathing is hard when Stephen holds out a glass with dark liquid.  I gracefully take it and take a swig loving the burning taste on my tongue.  I down it and give the empty glass back to Stephen.

“Wow.” he comments with a mischievous look.  I spin and softly put my back against him and lift my hands in the air.  I know I can’t dance but I don’t care.  Most people would probably say I’m crazy but not Stephen.  I turn and frown at him not having any kind of weirded out expression on his face.

“How’d you get that.” I ask and trace on the small white scar below his eye.  He stares at me and takes hold of my wrist and steps in the open space between us.  He looks at me with admiration and I take a deep breath.  He slowly comes closer to my face not leaving sight of my eyes until his lips touch again and the feeling starts over again.  It feels like stars are dancing around us and I lick his lips, tasting blood.  I crumble in his body, feeling melted.  He takes his lips off mine and puts a strand of my hair behind my ears. 

“You’re something else.”

I push him off and start to dance again, using all the energy I feel towards him.  I do jumping jacks and he laughs at me whilst shaking his head. He takes hold of my hand and spins me in circles.  I giggle and he looks at me with satisfaction.  

“I’m in love with you.” he says and something shocks my heart.  He's in love with me?  I almost feel like crying and a lump form in my throat,  Because how is it possible that someone like him can fall in love with someone like me.  And so fast.  I look at him with big eyes.

“How’s that possible.”

“You’re different.”  Goosebumps form on my skin at his words.  I want to tell him how he makes me feel.  I want him to feel my emotions.  I close my eyes and breath in his smell and feel at home. I give him a few kisses, before I whisper, “Let’s go.” I take his hand behind me and exit the bar. I feel some wisps of wind touching my skin and turn to give Stephen another kiss.  He smiles and opens the car door for me and I climb in with ease.  He starts the engine and the rest of Mr. Little jeans- runaway automatically starts playing. 

“Can I play a song?”  I ask excitedly and he nods disconnecting his phone.  I connect my phone and play Dagny-Fool’s Gold.  I lay my head back on the seat and close my eyes. A throbbing pain starts to erupt in my fractured wrist and my good mood dies.  I bite my lips, seeing Stephen driving back to my house.  I screw my eyes and think of my dad.  Should I go look for him or should I go with Stephen.

“I still have to go to my dad’s.”  I see and he clenches his teeth.

“Can’t it wait?”  he asks and it feels like I want to leave it but thinking of my dad I shake my head.

“Please?” I ask in a small voice, making Stephen turn his car around.  He sighs and I feel bad but turn my attention in front of me. I eye all the different cars, driving in different paces and think of having my own.  Dad usually gives me what I want, having a lot of money. Mom never allowed him to buy me anything I wanted, saying it would make me spoiled, so when she died I didn’t ask for much. I prefer not getting everything I want because working for it you just deserve it more. I jerk my head towards Stephen, when a question comes to my mind.

“Wait, do you even know where my dad works?”  He does it again.  Clench his teeth.  As if he’s mad.

“I’m his boss.”  I frown at him.  He’s my dad’s boss?  I purse my lips, trying to take in the information.  I feel neglected.

“You’re my dad’s boss?”  I ask, to be sure.

He gives a small nod and Iet my shoulders fall. Why don’t I know about anything.  I take a deep shaky breath when Stephen stops in front of a gate and he speaks into a small speaker thing and the gates open.  I frown, remembering my dad working at a fancy tall building with many glass windows.

“This is where you work?” I ask cautiously.

He looks at me with a somewhat sorrowful expression.

“This is just the back.” I nod and suddenly feel sad in my heart.

He parks the car next to other fancy cars.  I climb out before he can open the door for me eyeing two men, wearing black suits walking up to glass doors. Stephen busies himself in the boot of his car and change his T-shirt to a professional button up shirt.  In black.  I quickly look away when he catches me staring at him.  I shake of the uneasy feeling, quivering in my stomach and follow his stride.  The glass doors require a fingerprint and Stephen puts his finger on a tablet thing and the glass doors open.  He looks at me and waits for me to go through the doors,so I quickly move inside, warmth laying on my skin.  I hear soft orchestral music playing in the background and a pretty blonde woman sitting behind a glass desk.

“Hi, Stephen.” her voice sounding professional but her eyes lingering on me with a curious look.

“Puala.” he says and nods his head.

I look at the big pot plants standing beautifully in corners of the room and the walls made out of glossy stones.

Stephen gestures for me to talk to her and I swallow my spit and  unconfidence, “Hi.” I say and she smiles at me politely. “I was wondering if my dad came in today.”  I wait for her answer, relying on a yes.

She frowns, “Who’s your father?”  

I sniff, “Rick Levingtin.”  she widens her eyes, as if something shocking just hit her.

She shakes her head, “I’m afraid not.”

And that’s when I feel scared and wish that I’ve rather gone with Stephen.