Rich lies & poor truths

Chapter 11 - Finding the lost pieces

I bite my nails, the feeling of uneasiness sitting in the pit of my stomach.  Stephen puts his hand on my leg with his other hand on the steering wheel.  Warmth spread inside my body and a smile creeps on my face even through all the worriedness. I look at Stephen’s beautiful eyes and almost feel lost at sea.  A thought flashes my mind and I open my mouth trying to come up with the correct sentence.

“So you own that whole building?”  I ask screwing my neck as he drives making a lot of tall buildings next to each other visible.

“Pretty much, yes.” he says, keeping his eyes on the road.

I fumble with my hands, “So what exactly do you do?”

He briefly looks at me with a pained expression.  

“Just business stuff.”

I frown but shake his ubrupt reply. It feels as if he’s hiding something. We stay silent on the drive home with me keep taking deep shakey breaths. We stop at his house and I run to to their front door. I burge in.

“Wow.” Bonnie says as I almost crash into her.

“Sorry.”  I mumble before I start to whimper and cry.

“Oh dear, what’s wrong dear?” she pulls me back and looks deep into my eyes.

“I don’t know where my dad is?” I say and she leadsme upstairs towards her room.

“Okay.” she closes her room door behind me and gently takes hold of my cast, “What do you mean?”

“He didn’t come home last night.” I try not to snicker when I talk.

“He didn’t?”

I shake my head and wipe away my tears away with the back of my hand.

“He didn’t tell you anything.” she asks, curiously.

“Nothing.” I express my word.

“Oh dear.” she says and twirl my hair through her fingers.  I put my face on her shoulders and let the tears flow.

“I don’t know what to do.” I say, feeling an overwhelming feeling of worry taking over in my mind and heart.

“You called him?” she asks with a proffesional tone.

I nod, “Straight to voicemail.”

“You went to his work?”

I nod again, “He didn’t show up.

“Okay.” she says and hum as if she is trying ti think what to say, “Do not worry about it.” 

I wish that was possible but I keep quiet.

“If he doesn’t show up tomorrow we’ll go to the police.” I close my eyes.  The police.  Could this be so serious?  I wish that my dad would just come home so that we don’t have to go through all of this.

“But for now,” Bonnie continues,”You go rest.”

I look at her unbelievably, thinking how could I rest.

“You look really tired and you need to think with a fresh mind.” I bite my lips, knowing that she is right.  Fatigue and worry almost contolled me.

“You can rest here, wherever you want.” she says and gestures at her own luxiourios queen sized bed.

“No I think it’s better to be at my house for if my dad arrives.”

She nods and hugs me tightly, “Don’t worry okay, everything will be fine.”  

I smile at her through my teary face and move out of her room.  She’s like a mom to me.  She isn’t like mom but she’s there for me.  I hear the sound of a guitar again, coming from Stephen’s room and I quickly walk towards it to see Stephen, sitting on his bed, legs wide, hair matted on his forehead and his fingers strumming on the guitar.  It feels as if my mind is taking pictures because I want to remember everything about him at this moment.

“Hi.” he says softly and doesn’t look up.

“Hi.” I say back, hoping that he wouldn’t see that I have been crying.

“Come in.” he says almost in a questionly way and I want to say no but my feet takes a step forward into his room.  This time I can see a bookshelf, half hidden on the wall you can’t see from outside.  Black covers and blankets is draped over his single bed and a small desk with a laptop on top, the screen blank.  The chair behind is red and rusty and reminds me of Bonnie.  I smile, knowing that it’s probably Bonnie who put it there.  I take a deep breath smelling his addictive musculine smell in every corner.  He suddenly stops playing and looks at me with a dreamy smile.

“Hi.” he says again and place the guitar on a holder on the side of his bed.  He takes of his shirt, throws it on the floor and lays back on his bed,resting his hands on his bare stomach.  I try not to lick my lips, seeing his smooth skin and lean muscles.

“What’s up.” I say feeling my face turn red.  What’s up?  Way to go Riley.  My breathing starts to hitch not knowing what to do than stand awkwardly in the middle of his room.  I let my eyes drift towards his books and I take exactly two steps to come face to face with it.

“You like reading?” he asks.

“No not really.” I say, telling the truth. I was never one of those persons who could read a book for fun but I low-key thinknit’s hot for a guy to read, “You?” I ask,trying to break the silence.

“Yes.” he says staring at me.  Does he want to kiss me.  Should I go up to him. I hum and fidget with my cast, trying to look anywhere but him.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks and I feel a sensation of trust towards him.

“I don’t know what to feel.”

He scoots over on his bed and pats next to him. I bite my lips and sqeeuze next to him, accidently touching the side of his stomach.

“Elaborate.” he says I take the chance to actually rant.

“Like why would my dad just dissapear like that?” I gulp the sore lump in my throat, “He has never done it before. So I’m just wondering if he’s okay.”

I see from the side of my eye how Stephen clenches his teeth and makes his hands into strong fists.

“I think he’s fine.” he says it but as if is so sure.

I sigh and he takes hold of my hand.

“I know there’s something else bothering you.” he slowly and gently rolls up my sleeves and trace along the red lines. I start to breath hard, feeling vulnerable.

“It’s okay, you can trust me.” he turns to me and his expression shows emphathy and trust.  

“I don’t know.” I say feeling ridicoulous at my answer.

He stays quiet and I feel that he’s waiting for more.

“I really don’t know.” I stutter, “It’s as if sometimes I loose my mind and drown in sadness and emptiness.  Like I I like the feeling of being sad and I know it shouldn’t be like that,” I look down, “I don’t know why.” I let myself look at my cuts and cry.  He takes hold of my chin and turn my face towards his. 

“Hey hey.” he says and swip away my tears, making me cry even more. “It’s okay not to know  It’s okay to be sad but just know that you’re not worthy of it.” he says and I swear a spark errupts inside my heart.

I turn and lay on his chest crying on his bare chest.

“Thank you.” I say and break into pieces.  He comfortably rubs my back and I feel the need to talk more.

“Like I feel so different each time.  As if I just can’t find myself.” I say thinking of all the times I felt lost in my own body.  Not being able to think, who I am ot who I was.  And I hate myself for that.  I hate myself for all my insecureties.  I hate myself for all my thoughts.

“One day you’ll find youself.” he says and his voice breaks, “You just have to keep searching.” I bite my lips taking his wise words in.  He is right. One day I will find myself.  One day I will feel better about myself.  One day sll my worries will vanish away.  I push away my worry of what he’ll think if I kiss him.

“Can I kiss you.” I ask and he starts to chuckle.  I lift my head towards his smiling face and I push my lips onto his.  The pleasurable feeling makes all my sad emotions go away.  The urge of being closer to him drifts to me and I climb on top of him.  The rush of adrenaline engulfs my body and I kiss him harder and stronger.  I moan, strapping my legs tighther against him feeling his manhood.  I want to be closer to him so I take of my shirt and bra and rub against his chest with my nakedness. Our breahts are warm and insync and my heart is hammering against my chest.  He swiftly makes a move for me to lay on my back with him ontop of me.  I shiver when he trace my breast and puts it in his mouth.  I want to scream for him to not ever stop and he looks at me with an emotion of love.  He dry humps me, making it unbareable for me and I rub against his manhood through his pants.

“Riley.” he says breathily and I melt in everything of him.  His strong hand this time goes under my panties touching my wetness.

“Stop stop stop.” I say feeling as if bad memories that I don’t even know about rush towards me.  I don’t know why I get this feeling.  It’s almost like deja’vu. He immediatly stops and climbs of me looking worried. I frown trying to recollect my memories but nothing comes.

“I don’t feel good.” I take my bra and shirt and put them back on, “I have to go.”  I escape his room before he can say anything.  I walk downstairs and out their open front door.  I almost run to our house next door, trying to escape the bad feeling.  I open the door and lock it behind me.

“Dad!”  I scream, hoping I wil hear his voice. But I only hear silence.

“What is going on.” I say to whoever is hearing me.  I don’t know what to do.  I grit my teeth.  I have to start somewhere.  Tomorrow I’ll go to the police and everything will be fine.  I’ll find dad.  I take the chance to forget about everything and fall on my bed.  I close my eyes and sleep.