Behind the Scenes

K: Transformation

One Month Later

Kimberly Carter

I grew up believing I was entitled to everything I wanted. I need took no for an answer, not when I failed my drivers license the first time and not when I almost got kicked out of school.

Watching Alex work and earn everything he had was different, it was humbling. He was humbling. He made me feel calm and protected, comforted even.

I mostly only got to see him on the weekends when he wasn't so busy. I never knew anyone could work as much jobs as he did and still be able to remain positive. I barely held a job now and I was often times bitter as hell.

"You should move in with me." I muttered as I laid in his arms, enjoying the hold he had on my body after the intense session we just had.

"You're being impulsive again." he chuckled, moving the hair from my face.

"I'm not. It's a great idea. You can save money on rent, have more money for your mom's bills, see me all the time..." I placed a small tempting kiss against his lips, hoping to help convince him.

"It's only been a month. I don't want to rush this." He ran a finger down my naked body and then back up to my lips.

"You always say that. Rush can be good sometimes." I muttered. He peered down at me with his warm brown eyes and the anxiety I've always felt with him came back. "I don't want to lose you." I always thought I was deserving of things, but I knew for a fact I didn't deserve him.

He sighed and the kissed the back of my hand. "I'm not going anywhere." He got up out of the bed and I watched in awe as his firm body made it's way to the washroom. His ass was thick and the muscles in his back, visible. His broad shoulders flexed as he stretched his toned arms and a large yawn escaping his mouth.

When he came back out, he pulled up his boxers and fought on a shirt. "Go freshen up. I'll make you something to eat before I head out."

When I got to the kitchen, I sighed in contentment. The stove I haven't used since I bought it was on and fired up. I never knew they actually worked to be honest. They were just for show because I couldn't have the space empty, it look awful. Trust me, I tried it. Everything I could think of was packed in a container and a separate plate. "You're not eating with me?" I pouted.

"I picked up a few extra hours at the gym, I gotta run in." He apologized as he turned off the stove. My phone on the living room table vibrated and flashed brightly. I ran over to it and picked up.

"What?" I muttered as I continued to watch Alex in the kitchen.

"Can you come over?" She asked.

"No, I'm busy." I lied

"Busy with your head up that man's ass." She spat.

"Are you jealous?" I taunted.

"Yes." she muttered with a laugh causing me to join in. "He has a fine ass."

"And it's all mine." I couldn't believe it till this day. Chills ran over my body as I remembered this morning and the way he ate me for breakfast.

"Doesn't he work today?" Sara asked.

"Yeah, so what?"

"Are you planning on going to his work to watch him?"

"Women are vicious these days. All they want to see is a fine man unattended." I justified.

"And don't you trust him?" She asked.

"He would never do anything." I believed that for the first time out of any man I've slept with.

"Then let the man work and get your ass over here." she hung up before I could say no. I sighed and turned my head back to the kitchen.

His smile was shy and sweet. "I always know when your talking about me."

I blushed and took the plate he now offered. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome." He kissed my lips before vanishing into the room and leaving after getting ready.

I ate, cleaned the mess in the kitchen, got ready, and then headed out. Before I got to Sara's apartment, I stopped by Alex's. I used my spare key to get in and then dropped dinner in the fridge. I knew after the warehouse he only came home for a short time before heading to the night club so I wanted to make sure he ate something. It was his favourite. It was ravioli from our favourite Italian restaurant downtown.

After making a note for him to check the fridge for dinner, I placed the new shoes I purchased for him yesterday on the living room table. I knew he was a very proud man and would never accept anything overly expensive from me, but he's been eyeing these for a week now. He could even wear it tonight to work. I tried giving him money but he got insulted. He generally accepted gifts that couldn't be returned. In my opinion, he deserved more than this. Not just because of how he cared for me everyday by making sure I was okay, happy, and fed. But also his mother and how much he sacrificed for her. He was truly amazing and I idolized him. I wouldn't last a day in his shoes.

I locked up and then headed for Sara's apartment. She was franticly cleaning an already tidy living room when I got there. She seemed distant and troubled but she had been this way since she found out Jason was seeing someone.

"Hey," I hesitantly entered into her space and took off my jacket.

"What took you so long?" She muttered, handing me a glass of orange juice.

I took a sip of it as I walked over to the couches, worried she might start cleaning around me. "I had to stop by... nevermind. What's up?"

"I need to talk to you about something."

"About what?" I asked.

"About me. Do you think I'm just someone who doesn't get married and have kids?" she sat down now, her large eyes withdrawn with deep circles around them.

"What do you mean?"

"Answer the question." she muttered.

"Where's Beth? She's better at answering these things." I glanced around the room as if to spot her.

"I can't bring my nonsense to her. She has other things to worry about. More important things."

"She's still thinking about divorce?" I sighed.

Sara nodded and there was a long paused between us.

"Why are you asking me this?" I tried to bring up something to take my mind off my brother and his potential ex-wife.

"Because I think there's something wrong with me." Sara kept her head down.

"Why would you say that?" I asked her.

"Because all these years I thought Jason was the problem." She stood up and began to pace around frantically again. "But now he has a girl friend and they are doing great. And after several years of being together, I have no ring." she showed me her empty finger and I watched her with my mouth closed. She looked as if she was about to explode. "And now, I hear that he's about to get married after barely a month of knowing that... woman." She fell to the ground with her face in her palms and tears rushing down her cheek.

"What?" I stood up and got down beside her, my heart contracting with empathy.

"He..." she broke down again and this time began to mumble incoherent words that I couldn't understand.

"Who told you that?" I asked her.

"People talk and I heard she might even be pregnant. PREGNANT." she screamed loudly, kicking the leg of the couch beside her and falling back on the ground.

"Those could just be rumours." I consoled. Sara was like my sister and I didn't fool around with family. But Jason was always like a big brother to me growing up and that was unbreakable. And then there was my real brother and the s**t around that. Everything was just too much. Where was Alex?

We stayed on the floor for the next three hours. Her cries filled the room as if she was waiting for someone to come before she let it out. I didn't want to leave her alone. I knew the stories of her university days and I knew what depression could do to her. She wasn't safe by herself in this moment and I didn't want to regret leaving her by herself.

After what seemed like forever, I helped her to bed and quickly ran out for something for us to eat. Elizabeth wasn't answering her phone and Shawn won't stop calling mine.

"Where have you been?" He asked.

"What do you want? I'm busy." I popped the take out dish in the microwave and carried a cup of cold water to the room. I placed it on the table beside the bed within Sara's reach. Her eyes were now swollen and her nose was red. "I got us something to eat, alright? Just let me know when you're hungry." She weakly nodded her head but went back under the covers.

"What did you get for us to eat?" Shawn asked in the phone.

"b***h, no one was talking to you." I spat when I got back into the hallway. "What?!" I was irritated and I had no idea why he was calling me. We haven't spoken in a month because I never took his calls.

"I miss you." he muttered into the phone and I rolled my eyes as my heart fluttered. He was my best friend no matter how f****d up he was.

"I told you. I'm seeing someone."

"What does that have to do with us?"

"We're exclusive. I know you don't really understand that term but I'm happy and I don't want to f**k this up."

"You're hurting my feelings Lilli. We're forever, remember?" He moaned in my ear and my heart softened for him.

"I have to go." I muttered.

"When can I see you?" He mumbled.

"Shawn."

"Lilli." he retorted

"Goodbye." I hung up even though my heart was beating a mile a minute. We did promise each other forever and I will always have feelings for him but he just couldn't measure up to Alex. Just thinking about him made me smile.

Shawn continuously called my phone until I turned it off for the day. All day I babysat Sara and even forced her to eat at one point. It was traumatic and stressful but I was happy when it was over. I watched tv until I grew tired and then cuddled up to her in bed.

Early the next morning, I answered Sara's ringing phone.

"Hello?"

"I'm so sorry. I've just been really tired lately. I knocked out. Is Sara okay?" Beth sounded frantic as well. I couldn't take another one of these breakdowns.

"Where are you?" I asked

"I'm on my way over. 20 minutes." she promised.

"Bring breakfast." I told her before she hung up.

Half an hour later, we were all seated in the living room on the floor. Sara found comfort in Beth's arms and I found comfort with my full stomach. I intended to leave but being with them after so long just felt good. We were laughing and joking around like old times and after Sara told Beth what happened, we stopped talking about our problems.

"We should go out to that bar, Stars?"

"It's call Sharks and I'm not really into that anymore." I muttered.

"Ever since Alex she's been a completely different person." Beth acknowledged to Sara.

"A month ago, you would have left me here yesterday with no care in the world." Sara smiled, touching my arm.

I blushed like I always did when Alex's name was mentioned. "Yeah, well, when you see him thank him."

Getting drunk was no longer a fun activity I liked to do. I only went to the club to see Alex some nights and even though he was happy to see me, he hated me being there. Guys would come over and hit on me right in front of him, and he would tell them where to put their free drinks. In an effort to have him keep his employment, I only showed up when necessary.

Even though he only had a few hours before he had to wake up again the next morning, he would come over to see me. Cuddle me and whisper how beautiful I was to him. Sometimes he would surprise me by picking me up and making love to me against the wall, in the shower, and even on the living room table. We would settle in and he would nap for only a few hours before getting up again.

I was so grateful and never wanted to take anything for granted. Tomorrow was his mothers birthday and I knew he was planning something special.

I would go with him to visit her sometimes. She was someone I wanted to be when I was older; witty with a great sense of humour unlike my mother that didn't have a funny bone in her body.

Sara, Elizabeth, and I spent the rest of the day on the carpet watching tv, catching up, and laughing; everyone problem free for the moment.