The Single Teacher Mommy (Railen Jazz & Kiara Celestine)

Chapter 13

I was waiting for Jazz's call, ang sabi niya kasi ay mag-ga-gas muna siya habang nasa Supermarket kami ni Sophie. After we got out from the musical instruments store, he decided to take the piano to his car. I also took the chance to buy some stuff for Sophie's snacks.

Gusto ngang sumama ni Sophie sa kanya pero pinigilan ko ang anak ko. Mabuti na lang din at nakuha ito ni Jazz sa pakiusap. Sinabihan niyang hindi maganda sa kalusugan niya ang malalanghap niya sa gas station na agad naman siyang sumunod at di na nagpumilit pa.

Life is really sure playing a goddamn trick on me. Bakit ba habang pinagtutulakan ko papalayo si Jazz ay parang mas lalo akong napapalapit sa kanya? Bakit kung kailan mas ninanais ko na wala siya sa paligid ko ay siya namang nagiging kasiyahan ng anak ko?

We are standing on the check out lane when his call came.

"Saan na kayo mommy?" Tanong niya agad nang mag-hello ako.

"Supermarket pa rin." Mahinang sagot ko.

"Saan mismo?"

"Check out lane, nandito ka na ba?"

I heard him chuckled. "Missed me already Mommy?"

"I am not." I answered him. Nagtatanong lang kung nasaan na siya namimiss na agad? Di ba pwede na ayaw ko lang mag-aantay kami ng anak ko sa kanya kung sakaling matapos na kaming makapagbayad? Masyado talaga 'tong hambog na to.

"Hello, hello! Huy Balbastre." Sabi ko ng maputol bigla ang linya.

Nagkibit-balikat akong isinuksok ko sa bulsa ng pantalon ko ang cellphone. Nang-uusisa naman ang titig ng anak ko nang balingan ko siya ng tingin.

Dahil medyo may kahabaan ang pila ay halos inabot kami ni Sophie ng 15 minutes, nagulat na lang nang may yumakap mula sa likuran ko. Sisikuhan ko na sana nang marinig ko ang pagtawag ng Dydy ni Sophie isabay mo pa nang malanghap ko ang pamilyar niyang pabango.

"I'm here now Mommy so don't miss me, okay?" Bulong nito sa tainga ko na nagpatindig ng balahibo ko sa batok.

I have to admit that he still has that effect on me. It was so alarming and I hate the feeling.

Some people were already looking at us. Kung sa pagiging PDA parang wala namang pakialam si Jazz.

"Umayos ka nga." Halos pabulong na sabi ko. And then I greeted my teeth.

"Stay still mommy, don't mind the people around." Sagot naman nito sa akin.

"Di ka na nahihiya." Humarap na ako sa kanya sabay taas ng kilay ko.

Bigla namang nag-iba ang timpla ng mukha niya na naging poker face ang smile niya. Para siyang may nerve problem that cause him facial paralysis.

He didn't say any word, he carried Sophie with his left hand and held my hand with his right hand as he guided us going out from grocery section to his car.

Masyado ko na ba siyang nasasaktan? I knew I was a b***h to him since he appeared yet he still making his way to make amends. Hindi pwede na ganito siya sa akin dahil katapusan ko na ito kung lagi siyang ganito.

We we're quiet throughout our drive back to our unit. A part of me wants to apologize dahil halatang badtrip siya. Hindi na bumalik ang ngiti niya sa mukha. And I know him, hes's a man with a permanent smile stuck on his face.

"Are you fighting again, Dydy, Mymy?" Our curious little one asked when we are clearing the area where to set up her piano. Wala pa rin kasi kaming imikan ni Jazz.

Nilingon ko siya pero inunahan na ako ni Jazz na sumagot sa tanong ng anak ko. "No, Baby. Mymy maybe is not feeling well."

"You're sick, Mymy?" Lumapit siya sa akin.

"No Sweetie. I'm alright." Sagot ko at tumango naman siya. I looked at Jazz and he looked a me, blank face.

I sighed. Wala sa sarili akong pumunta ng balcony. Makapaglikas na nga lang ng mga nilabhan ko kaninang umaga para maplantsa at matiklop na rin.

Di na rin ako komportable sa pagiging tahimik ni Jazz and it irks me. Malay ko ba kung ano ang iniisip niya mas gusto ko pa nga 'yong iniinis niya ako para maaway ko siya.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I felt my lips wobble and the tears stinging in my eyes. Tangina ang bigat sa dibdib.

"Careful, Baby!" Rinig kong sabi ni Jazz matapos kong makuha lahat ng mga damit.

Nakalatag na sa sahig ang piano at nagkalat na rin ang karton sa tabi nila. Kasalukuyang binabasa ni Jazz ang instruction's manual habang si Sophie ay nasa tabi nito at nakikialam sa pag-a-assemble.

Mas lalo lamang bumigat at namintog ang puso ko sa nakikita ko. It's the most bittersweet thing I could ever witness. Parang gusto kong ihakbang ang mga paa ko at samahan sila sa pwesto nila pero pinaalala ko sa sarili ko na kung ano man ang nangyayari ngayon ay hindi permanente.

Hindi pa rin klaro sa akin ang mga ginagawa ni Jazz. Hindi ko pa alam kung ano talaga pakay o sadya niya. Pagkatapos ng ilang taon, bakit ngayon lang?

Iniwanan ko sila at ipinasok ang mga bitbit kong tuyong damit sa kabilang kwarto para nag-umpisang plantsahin at tupiin. Saka bumalik sa akin isa-isa ang alaala sa araw na iyon, anim na taon ang nakalipas.

"How's the board exam, Hun?" Salubong ni Jazz pagkalabas ko ng examination room kung saan ako kumuha ng Licensure Examination for Teachers (Elementary Level).

Kahit drained ang utak ko dahil sa pagsusulit ay parang hindi ko masyadong ramdam dahil sa lawak ng ngiti niyang sumalubong sa akin at nakadipa pa ang mga kamay niyang handang yakapin ako.

Jazz is the sweetest boyfriend eversince we became an official couple. Halos tatlong buwan pa lang ang relasyon namin pero masasabi kong mas doble ang kasweetan niya noong naging kami kumpara noong liniligawan pa lang niya ako.

He's 23, currently a Nurse in the biggest private hospital in our town. I met him during my last semester in college. I was enjoying eating my caramelized apple crepe in a French Restaurant when he approached me to share the table with me. Starting that day we became friends until he asked to court me. It took almost five months of his waiting when I agreed to be her girlfriend. He's my first boyfriend. I never entered in a relationship because I made a promise to my parents that I will only if I'll have my diploma and degree. So when my graduation came, that was the day also that we became officially in a relationship.

I hugged him back tighter, soothing the feeling of his embrace. "It was good, I think? I ended up shading more than I actually knew." I kid on his chest that made him chuckled.

"I know you did your absolute best and I'm positive that they’re what you were aiming for! Congratulations my future LPT!" He said positively while raining me kisses on my forehead.

"I love you. Thank you for being with me in my exam, Hun." I told him wholeheartedly.

"Let's go. You deserve time to have fun. Let me treat you after your hectic days of exam. Let us wash it off your tension and stress."

And we did. He took me to a long drive somewhere special. We went to all the places we love visiting and enjoy our time together talking about our plans and future, with our favourite foods.

But that day, he ended our celebration with a news that he needs to go to his family; overseas. As soon as possible. His expertise as a nurse is a must to take care of his sick grandfather.

Hindi ako makasarili na girlfriend na ipagdamot siya sa lolo niyang nangangailangan na kanyang oras na mag-aalaga sa kanya habang may sakit ang lolo niya. Wala siyang narinig sa akin na pagtutol sa gusto ng pamilya niya.

A week after that I travelled with him going to airport. He didn't want me to watch him leave. Ayaw niyang ihatid ko siya pero mas gusto ko naman na magkaroon pa kami ng mas maraming oras na magkasama kaya pumayag na lang siya. Akala ko handa na ako na maiiwan niya, pero habang papalapit ang oras ng check in time niya ay siya namang pagbigat ng aking nararamdaman. Magkasama pa lang kami pero namimiss ko na siya. Pareho naming hindi binitawan ang kamay ng bawat-isa.

We stayed beside each other, cherishing our time together. When it's about time for him to check in, he faced me holding my both hands.

"Hanggang dito na lang ako. Di na ako pwedeng pumasok kasama mo." Sabi ko.

Tinitigan niya ako ng ilang saglit bagi niya ako kinintalan ng halik sa aking labi. Pinikit ko ang mga mata ko at pinalibot ko ang mga kamay ko sa leeg niya, hinayaan ang mga luha kong nagsipaglaglagan. Nang binitawan niya ako, pulang-pulang na rin ang mga mata niya. Pilit sinusubukan na wag malaglag ang luha.

"Take care of yourself, ha." Pag-papaalala niya sa akin. "Wait for me to comeback, Hun."

Tumango ako, habang namamalabisbis ang mga luha ko sa harapan niya. "Ikaw din. Wag mong pababayaan ang sarili mo doon." Paalala ko rin. "'Wag mo akong ipagpapalit sa Canadian doon ha."

Natawa siya sa huling sinabi ko. "Silly!" Pinunasan niya ang mga luha ko gamit ang mga daliri niya. "I'll be back before you know it. Sabay nating aalamin na dalawa ang magiging resulta ng board exam mo. Magkasama tayong dalawa na i-ce-celebrate ang 20th birthday mo. Makakasama mo sa araw ng oath taking mo bilang isang ganap na guro, dahil sigurado akong makakapasa ka." He gave a three kisses on my forehead. "That's a promise."

Pinaikot ko ang mga braso ko sa baywang niya saka ako umiyak ng umiyak sa dibdib niya. "Maghihintay ako." Bulong ko.

"I love you so much." He whispered.

"I love you way more."

Ngumiti siya saka niya hinaplos ang pisngi ko. "Akin lang?" Sabi niya. That was actually our thing.

Binigyan ko din siya ng pilit na ngiti bago ako sumagot. "Sa'yo lang."

He gave me one another kiss on my lips before turning away from him.

My sour recollection of the past got disturbed when Jazz knocked by the bedroom's door.

"Nakatulog bigla si Sophie natin. She was mid-sentence of her story when her head suddenly dropped. Huwag mo sanang masamain pero pumasok ako sa kwarto niyo para ihiga siya doon." Nakangiti nitong sabi.

Tumango ako at pinagpatuloy ang pagtitiklop ko. "Sige. Thank you, Jazz. Thank you for spending your time to my daughter. You made her happy again."

Just when I thought he left already because I didn't heard any answer from him. Kaya ano na lang ang gulat ko nang bigla siyang magsalita.

"I know you're tired, too. So, I'll let it slide this time to talk about us. But expect me to be there in the coming days."

Napahinto ako sa ginagawa ko at napatitig sa kanya. "For what, exactly?"

"KC naman, kailangan ko pa bang ipamukha sa'yo ang rason?" Medyo may inis na siya sa tono ng boses niya. "Nandito na ako. I'm here to stay. You have no other choice than to deal with it."

There's no point to be tough. What if tomorrow there won't be any Jazz? How will I tell to my daughter? Thinking that idead

invaded my mind was so depressing. I don't want to take that happiness away in my daughter's face.

"Just do it, Jazz. Because honestly, I cannot trust your words anymore." I bravely challenged him even though my body is shaking for reasons I don't know.

He smiled and nodded his head, understanding evidently featured on his handsome face.

Without so much ado, he took his steps in between us and stand infront of me.

"Copy on that, Hun. I'll show and prove it to you." Then he pressed a long kissed on my head. "I'll leave you in peace now. Bukas, I'll be here to pick you guys up." He muttured.

"Take care.!" I sincerely said.

"Good night, Hun. Dream of me as I'll be dreaming of you tonight like I always do for the past six years."

With one more knee-melting smile, he left peacefully.