The Single Teacher Mommy (Railen Jazz & Kiara Celestine)

Chapter 16

It's almost eight in the evening when we reached the unit. Pagkatapos kasi naming kumain sa Pizza House ay idinaan pa namin si Sophie sa Fun House para maglaro. I wanted to say no but Jazz told me that he already promise to Sophie that's why I didn't protest anymore.

Nalaman ko din kay Jazz na si Mrs. Tamura pala ang nagbalita sa kanya tungkol sa promotion ko kaya siya nag-padeliver ng Jollibee.

"Take her directly to our room, Jazz. She won't wake up any moment. I will get basin and face towel to gypsy wash her and change her clothes." Sambit ko na siya namang sinunod niya.

I got the things that I needed as fast as I could and followed them in the room. I found Jazz sitting above the bed while caressing Sophie's hair.

Binigyan ko muna siya ng ilang segundong katahimikan bago ako tumikhim at pumasok sa loob. I suddenly felt goosebumps nang mapagtanto kong ito ang kauna-unahang pagkakataon na nasa loob kami ng iisang kwarto na kaming tatlo. It's a strange but fulfilling feeling I can't understand.

That's the only thing running in my mind until I sit on the other side of my daughter. Ipinatong ko ang pambibihisan niya sa ulunan niya saka ko sinimulang hubarin ang suot niyang blouse, pants at underwear.

"Ang galing mo sa ganito." Sabi ni Jazz na siyang dahilan na tinignan ko siya. Nakatitig lang siya sa akin habang binibihisan ko si Sophie na para bang pinag-aaralan niya kung paano ang ginagawa ko.

I chuckled. "I'm doing this for the last five years now. I should be good at this. Excellent rather." I joked but he didn't laugh with me.

He was so serious watching what I'm doing before he looked at me in my face intently.

"Was it hard? Raising her alone on your own?

We both stared each other for a moment before I averted my gaze to the smiling face of my daughter. I ran my fingers on her hair and kiss her forehead before answering. "At first, no. It was not that hard because we we're still living together with my parents. My family helped me a lot in so many things when it comes to Sophie. Nag-umpisa lang akong mahirapan noong magsimula nang mag-labas-masok na siya ng ospital dahil palagi siyang kinakapos at nahihirapang huminga ng maayos. Naging sakitin na rin siya. Kaya doon ko rin naisipan na mag-moved out kami sa bahay ng mga magulang ko kaya kami nakatira sa unit na to dahil mas malapit lang ang ospital. 'Pag ganoon kasi na sitwasyon si Sophie parang sumasabay ako na maoospital. 'Yong pakiramdam na nanghihina at nanginginig ang buong kalamnan ko na anumang oras ay bubulagta na lang ang katawan ko sa kung saan. Nagsimula na rin akong mahirapan na balansehin ang oras ko dahil may mas marami pang ibang bata na iniisip ko tapos may klase pa ako tuwing sabado dahil sa masteral ko. May time din na naranasan kong nangapa kung saan ako kukuha ng karagdagang pera. Halos lahat kasi ng sweldo ko sa loob ng isang buwan napupunta lang sa ospital bill namin, gatas at diaper niya. Di naman pwedeng lahat ng kailangan namin ay iasa ko sa pamilya ko kahit alam kung di naman sila hihindi... di naman nila kami pababayaan. Pero lahat ng 'yon kinaya ko. Lagi ko na lang iniisip noon na ang lahat ng hirap at sakripisyo ko ay para sa anak ko."

I peeked at Jazz under my lashes and saw how hard his facial expression was. "Alam mo may tanim na galit ako sa lalaking nang-balewala sa'yo nang mabuntis ka niya. Iba ang nararamdaman kong galit tuwing naiisip ko na pinabayaan ka na lang niya basta-basta matapos ka niyang mabuntis para sa sarili niya. But you know the crazy part is, nagpapasalamat pa rin ako sa kanya. Dahil kung hindi ka niya iniwan at pinabayaan hindi mangyayari ang lahat ng nangyayari ngayon."

I have to gulp some air because suddenly it's hard to breathe. First, because until now I can't tell to Jazz the truth that Sophie is not really mine. Secondly, he's not ashame to tell his real intentions.

Before we can move forward, to let myself free on guard when it comes to him. Gusto kong malaman ang dahilan niya na di niya ako binalikan tulad ng pangako niya. Gusto kong maliwanagan. Gusto kong mabigyan ng closure ang nakaraan.

"Bakit hindi ka bumalik noong mga panahong 'yon katulad ng ipinangako mo?" Lakas loob kung tanong habang binibihisan ko si Sophie.

He waited for me to finish before he speak. Gone the hard expression on his face and was replace an expression that I cannot explain. "Noong sinabi mong naglalaro sa less than or three months ang paglabas ng result ng board exam mo ay nag-umpisa na rin ako noong naghanap ng part time job ko sa Canada. Hindi rin biro ang pera para sa plane ticket ko pabalik sa'yo. But I want to fulfill my promise kaya nagtiis din ako. Nag-aalaga ako ng buong araw kay Lolo habang nagtatrabaho ako ng gabi. Kaya thank you for those times na inintindi mo ako 'pag wala akong oras na tawagan at kumustahin ka."

Umiling ako. "Pero hindi ka pa rin bumalik. I've waited you know. I still kept on waiting and waiting. Six weeks. You said six weeks only. Naintindihan ko pa kasi di pa magaling ang Lolo mo. But that weeks passed, months and then years before I could accept the fact that you're not really coming back and that made me the biggest fool in town."

"I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. Believe me, I did everything I could just to be with you those times. Pero hindi ko alam kung alin sa mga rason ang sisisihin ko. Kung ang sarili ko, ang mga nangyari o ang panahon." His tone was soft and his face ashamed and regretful.

Saglit na umangat ang katawan niya. Dinukot sa bulsa ng pantalon ang wallet niya saka may nilabas siyang nakatuping puting papel. He unfold it and placed on the bed enough for me to see what's printed on it. An Air ticket details.

"I wanted to surprise you because even if you are not complaining back then, I know how disappointed you are after that six weeks that was originally supposed to be the day of my returning home. One week before your birthday, I booked a flight going back to you. Sabi ko noon, alinman ang mauuna kung ang birthday mo o ang result ng exam mo ay dapat nasa tabi mo ako." He stopped and took a deep breath before he continue.

"Ang umaga ng date na nasa papel na 'yan ay papunta na dapat ako sa airport. I asked dad to dropped me off, but unlucky on our way to the airport we got into a rear-end collisions accident. May biglang sumulpot na delivery truck sa harapan ng sasakyan. Nagising na lang ako mula sa malakas na impact ng aksidente nasa ospital na kami ni Daddy. It took me almost five months to recovered from surgery due to spinal fracture. Dad got the worst, resulting injuries in his chest and leg fracture." He said as his eyes glisten as tears started to pooling there recalling that day.

"I-I didn't know. All this time, I thought you didn't possessed value any longer to honor your words." I whisper.

He smiled at me sadly before he shook his head. "You don't have to say sorry. It's all my fault. Dahil wala ka namang narinig na kahit anong dahilan o paliwanag man lang na galing sa akin. Kahit no'ng gusto mong makipaghiwalay hindi ako umalma, dahil noong mga panahon na 'yon di pa tuluyang nakakalakad si Daddy. I became his physical therapist when he cannot move his left leg. Good thing I was totally recovered from my surgery that time. When dad was well, akala ko noon makakabalik na ako para suyuin ka pero another problem arise again in our family. My grandfather, my dad's dad was diagnosed with staged-two pancreatic cancer. I got stucked again in Canada because I was the one who always accompanied Lolo to his chemotherapy and check-ups together with Lola. Si Mommy naman ay nakaalalay pa rin noon kay Daddy. Di naman maasahan si Ate Raine dahil buntis siya at maselan pa ang pinagbubuntis niya. Si Kuya Ramjay naman ay nasa Vancouver malayo sa amin na sana Toronto. Kada buwan at taon, dumadagdag lang nang dumadagdag ang sama ng loob ko sa panahon. Na kung kailan pwede na akong makabalik sa'yo ay siyang nabigyan naman ang pamilya ko ng sunod-sunod na malaking pagsubok."

Wala akong ibang nagawa kundi tumahimik lang at makinig sa kanya. I can't speak, too much too digest his reasons. All this time, akala ko pinaglaruan niya lang ako. Hindi niya ako mahal. Tinarantando at niloko noong mga panahong 'yon.

"Last year, plinano ko ulit ang umuwi pero may naging problema na naman. It's my application of Canadian permanent residence. It was declined due to some discrepancy in the documentation. I waited another six months to re-apply again, luckily early this year it was approved and got my PR. When I got back, I tried job hunting. As I do the searching I tried my luck to come and see you in your coffee shop, iyon yung time na unang nagkita tayo pagkatapos ng anim na taon pero tunalikuran mo ako. After you left, I went snooping around and I saw one of your barista and I asked him what school you are teaching. Kaya dinalhan kita ng bulaklak sa hapon na 'yon. In that afternoon also I bumped to Ninang Lea in the hospital where I used to work."

He must've saw the surprise in my eyes so he added more deatils.

"She told me that there's a vacant position in Division Office, so nagpasa ako ng curriculum vitae ko. The hiring process was so smooth and I got the job. And that led me to my first daybto your school." Then he smiled. He looked at Sophie for awhile before he brought his eyes back to my face and continued telling his story. "On the same day that I was hired as a school division nurse, it was also the same day that I met your brother for the second time and Sophie."

"Ninang mo pala si Mrs. Tamura? Kaya siya ang nilapitan mo para makuha ang number ko?"

Mas lalong lumapad ang ngiti niya. "Small world 'di ba? Ayaw niyang ibigay noong una, sabi niya kung gusto ko daw malaman ang number mo ako daw mismo ang kukuha sa'yo pero nagulat na lang ako nang bigla niyang sinend sa akin at iyon din ang oras na tinawagan mo ako."

I knew it. Kaya pala alam niyang ako agad ang tumawag sa kanya dati.

"Back to the part that I've met your brother. Alam mo bang naglakas loob akong tinanong siya kung siya ang ama ni Sophie? Pero noong sinabi niyang hindi, doon ko talaga napatunayan na may anak ka pero wala kang asawa o boyfriend. That what itchy info etched in my mind, I thought of a plan how to chase you. Kaya ang ginawa kaagad ay nakipag-close ako kay Sophie." Natutuwang sabi niya. Napailing na lang ako na may ngiti sa labi.

Everything became clear to me as if the sun shined for the very first time in a very long time. Kaya pala sa unang pagkikita nila ni Sophie nagtanong na agad siya na kung pwedeng si Jazz na lang ang Dydy niya

"I still love you, Hun. I still do. Walang nagbago kahit lumipas pa ang matagal na panahon. Mula noon hanggang ngayon ikaw pa rin ang nasa puso ko. Ikaw pa rin ang rason ng pagtibok nito."

Napalunok ako sa sinabi niya habang nakahawak ng mahigpit sa bimpong pinampupunas ko kay Sophie kanina. Naramdaman ko pa nga ang tubig na napiga ko roon na dumaloy na sa pants na suot ko.

Hindi ako nakapgsalita habang nag-lo-loading pa sa utak ko ang mga sinabi niya.

"With that everything I said, explained and confessed. Will you still forgive and accept me? Will you take my hand and make the three of us a family?"