Dear Diary, I'm Completely Lost

Reunited At Last

That week seems to be dragging on forever. I talk to Hunter every day, yet I can barely wait for the moment I get out of school that Friday. I get picked up by my parents and we drive directly to the airport. We barely make it in time to catch the flight, which makes my anxiety fly towards the roof.

Anyway, as we’re sitting on the plane, I’m calm again. We’re going to Yale. I’ll get to see Hunter. I can barely believe this is happening. I text him before we take off, letting him know that I’ll be seeing him soon. He borrowed a car from one of his classmates, so he could come pick us up at the JFK. There weren’t any direct flights to New Haven, so we had to book one for New York.

I’m anxious the entire ride. I’m sitting by the window with dad next to me, because mom can’t stand the sight of heights. And we’re seated directly by the wings, which means that I’m able to see the way they shake with the turbulence. Yeah, it’s best I don’t tell her about it. She already had to take a pill to calm her nerves before the flight.

I keep myself busy with Netflix, but even that gets boring after a while. Planes can be so uncomfortable. It’s five hours of sitting in the same spot, without being able to move much. I haven’t missed this at all. We only went on a holiday by plane once. We were all still in middle school, Aiden, Hunter and me. It lasted forever and the plane was delayed a couple of times. Dad swore he’d never take us anywhere by plane again.

Well, here we are now, flying once again. To see Hunter. My chest flips at thought of him. It’s been two months since I last saw him in real life. Not through a phone screen. God, I miss him so much.

I don’t know when, but I suddenly doze off. I have this strange dream like I’m standing in front of Hunter. He’s smiling at me, but no matter how hard I try to touch him, my hand flies through air. I just can’t get to him. I get panicky, but he keeps smiling, like none of this is bothering him.

“Perrie, put your seatbelt on. We’re landing,” my dad’s voice suddenly travels to my ears, awakening me from the tormenting dream that I was just having. I raise my head, nodding like I was awake this whole time. “You okay?” he asks as I start putting my seatbelt on.

“Yeah, weird dream,” I explain shortly, the tone of my voice letting him know that I don’t want to talk about it. He nods in response, understanding the message.

“It’s okay, you’re awake now,” he assures me in a friendly way, then turns towards mom. As I glance at her, I realize she’s as pale as the wall. It makes me pull my eyebrows together in a sympathetic way. This must be so hard for her. She’s really terrified of flying. You can understand how much Hunter means to her, if she’s willing to endure this twice in the span of three days, just to see him.

It feels weird that we’ll go there together, but won’t be complete. Aiden is missing from the picture. He’s doing really well in classes, he’s already part of the student council. Like we were expecting anything else from him. But he just can’t get home before Thanksgiving. That’s two full months away. He’s been gone for a week and it already feels like ages.

In that moment, we make impact with the ground, barely feeling it. Mom visibly breathes out in relief and dad squeezes her hand in a reassuring way. “It’s okay, Rose, we’re here. We’re okay,” he murmurs.

I smile at the exchange, starting to unbuckle my seatbelt. In the next moment, the plane comes to a stop and we start packing ourselves off it. My heart skips a beat at thought of being so close to Hunter. I put my phone off airplane-mode and let him know that we’ve just landed. He responds in literally five seconds. I’m waiting for you.

As I look up from the screen to get the message to my parents, they’re both staring at me in a knowing way. And it makes me realize that I have that stupid smile plastered on my face again. I try to put it away, but I can’t. Oh, to hell with this. Why would I be hiding that I’m excited to see my boyfriend?

“Hunter’s waiting for us,” I blurt out, unable to hide the excitement in my voice. My mom smiles knowingly, while dad nods in response.

“Let’s go then,” he urges us and we move forward with the crowd, trying to get to the exit. We don’t have any luggage apart from our carry-ons, because we’re only staying a short time. Mom said we didn’t need a suitcase. This way we don’t have to wait forever to get it.

I would run towards the exit, if I knew where it is. This airport is gigantic. You’re in a big city now, Perrie. Of course, it will have a big airport. Still, this is unimaginable for a girl from Hillsboro.

Soon enough, we get to the part of the terminal, where I see people waiting. Some of them actually have signs with names written on them. It’s like in a movie. We’re standing on the moving staircase, waiting to get down. But the moment I spot my favorite face in the world, I can’t stand still any longer.

I go past all those people standing in front of me, rushing down them on the left side, because I can’t wait for a single second anymore. The moment I get off that staircase, I rush towards him, and he grabs me, spinning me around like I weigh less than a feather.

“Oh my God, Hunter!” I squeal, hoping that I didn’t burst his eardrums. He chuckles at my excitement, not commenting on the loud tone of my voice. He puts me down and cups my face lovingly.

“Hey, baby,” he greets me back, before kissing me. I pull him closer, having my arms wrapped tightly around his neck. He moves one arm on my lower back, pressing me against him so hard, that I can barely breathe, but I don’t care. I’m losing myself in his intoxicating scent and the taste of his lips. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I never thought I’d miss sandalwood this much. It’s just him. It’s not even sandalwood anymore, it’s called Hunter now. At least in my head.

Once we’re finally able to pull away from each other, my parents are already coming closer. Uh-oh. I forgot they’re even here. This wasn’t exactly a PG-13 type of kiss. I can feel myself blushing, almost feeling the need to hide behind Hunter, but he keeps me glued to his side, having his arm wrapped around my waist. He just can’t seem to let go of me. And I don’t want him to.

My parents don’t seem to mind our little PDA show, they’re both smiling as they greet him. I guess they’re just glad that we’re this happy about seeing each other. I step away for a moment, so they can both hug him, but as soon as they’re done with small talk, he puts his arm back around me and takes the luggage from my hand.

“Come, let’s go to New Haven. It might take a while, New York is a really busy city,” he lets us know, unable to keep a smile off his face. I stare up at him with admiration, loving the way his chest vibrates as he speaks. I’ve missed this. I’ve missed being able to wrap my arms around him whenever I felt like it.

As we get to the car that Hunter borrowed, he opens the trunk and puts our carry-ons inside. My mom and dad let me sit in front, with him, probably knowing that I want to hold his hand while he’s driving. It’s really considerate of them. I’d love to hold something else too, but I can’t exactly do that with my parents watching our every move. Intrusive thoughts, intrusive thoughts. Dirty Perrie.

When I told my parents Hunter has enough space for me to stay with him in the dorms, they didn’t comment much on it. But I could tell that they knew exactly what it was about. Still, they booked themselves a hotel and let me be. Thank God it didn’t come down to another talk. I mean, come on, we’ve been sleeping together since I turned eighteen, surely they know we aren’t counting sheep at night or what?

I don’t know why I’m making such a big deal out of this, it’s not like I told them I’ll be losing my virginity this weekend. I already lost it months ago. And they’re very aware of it. Okay, not exactly the best thing to think about on an hour and a half long ride. Which is probably going to turn into two hours, at the rate we’re moving right now. New York really is busy.

It gets better once we get away from the airport. I barely see anything, until we get to the Bronx bridge. That’s when I spot the center in the distance. All those tall buildings, the sea in front of them. It’s really a sight to see. “Wow,” I hear myself say before I’m able to control my reaction. Hunter chuckles in response.

“I’ve heard it’s beautiful there,” he remarks, shortly glancing through the window, before returning his gaze to the road. “It’s a shame we don’t have the time to see it,” he then adds, making me sigh in disappointment.

I turn to my parents with a hopeful gaze, having mom shake her head immediately. “Another time, sweetheart. We have to go to work on Monday. And you have school to attend,” she says in her stern voice. I can’t help but sigh again, waving dramatically.

“Bye New York, I’ll be seeing you some day, I guess,” I say in an overly desperate tone, making Hunter chuckle and shake his head at me.

After we get off the bridge, it’s the highway for us. And I don’t get to admire the scenery any longer. I get a few glimpses of the surroundings every now and then, but apart from that, all I’m able to look at, is the road.

Once we finally drive off the highway, I’m able to see the true spirit of the east of the continent. The sun is setting already. We just drive into New Haven, making me look around in wonder. The style of houses is completely different than the one I’m used to. Yeah, I’ve kept to Oregon most of my life, thank you very much. It’s obvious, isn’t it?

As we turn onto a street, I spot a building, made of glass on the far right. “Is that …?” I voice my question, but Hunter shakes his head.

“That’s the management part of the school. It’s not where I go,” he explains as we drive past it. Then, he points to the beginning of a complex on his left. “This is where I go,” he then adds, making me raise my eyebrows in surprise. Most of what I’m able to see is the parking lot, but still, the buildings behind it are made entirely out of red bricks. It’s unusual. But it looks nice, for an academic building, I guess.

As Hunter finds an empty spot, he quickly takes it and turns the car off. He then looks at me, and my parents, saying: “Welcome to Yale.”