Shifting Glances

KABANATA 4

Shiela’s father didn’t tell me anything important afterwards, all he said is that if he were me, he would sell the land. It’s also some advice for me. He didn’t tell me that much, hindi siya masalitang tao, but I can tell that he knows a lot, by the way he speaks, and by the way he talks to me. What’s making me more curious is why he seems to be holding back telling me more things?

Nandito kami ngayon sa kusina kasama ko si Shiela, dito ako pintuloy at pinakin ng simpleng pagkain, but believe me or not, I was so hungry that I feel like that was the best meal of my life.

“Salamat.” Nakangiti ako kay Shiela pagkatapos kong uminom ng tubig. Ngumiti ito saka tumango at inumpisahan nang iligpit ang pinagkainan ko.

She literally figured out that I hadn’t eaten yet. Kaya naman kanin ang pinakain niya saakin. Meanwhile, her father went back to resting. Hindi na pala ito nagtatrabaho at kakagaling lang sa ospital noong nakaraang linggo kaya pinagbabawal pa itong magtrabaho.

I figured that I can’t go back to Bulacan yet, not now that the mansion is involved in something, and Regan will come back. Sa mansion nalang siguro ako tutuloy ngayong gabi.

“Iyong mga kwarto ng mansyon, hindi ako sigurado kung gusto mo silang tulugan. Hindi kasi nakalagay iyong mga mabibigat na kama, pero nawawalisan at nalilinisan naman iyon kaya walang masyadong alikabok. Sabihin mo nalang ako kapag gusto mong bumalik doon, pero kung gusto mo rin ay maaari kang tumuloy rito ngayong gabi, wala naman kasi si Mama at ako lang ang matutulog doon sa isang kwarto.”

Tumingin ako kay Shiela na naghuhugas ng pinggan pero ngayon ay nakatingin saakin. Napaisip ako ng ilang sandali sa sinabi niya. Kung babalik ako ng mansyon, ako lang ang mag-isa roon. I’m still not familiar with the place, hindi ko pa iyon nalibot ng maayos. I’m a bit of a scaredy-cat.

“Wala bang malapit na hotel rito? Ayaw ko naman na makaabala pa.”

Umiling si Shiela, “Kulang sa isang oras ang byahe. Hindi ka naman na abala saamin,” Shiela paused and glanced at somewhere quickly and gazes back at me again, “Hindi man nabanggit ni Tatay, pero malaki ang utang na loob namin sa mga Bennet. Isa pa at kamag-anak ka rin namin, kung hindi na sasabihin iyong, ‘malayong kamag-anak’.” She chuckled a bit. I was staring at her. She’s smiling now.

Mukhang gumaan na ang pakiramdam niya. I still want to know more about the past. Ayaw ko naman kulitin ang Tatay ni Shiela, but Shiela might know something, and this is my chance.

Tumayo ako at nilapitan siya, “Kung hindi naman nakakaabala, pwedeng dito muna ako ngayong gabi?” I asked politely. Shiela looks a bit surprised by my approach, hanggang sa tumango siya at pinagpatuloy na ang paghuhugas ng pinggan. I was about to offer help when she suddenly spoke.

“Ngayon napag-isipan ko na. Hindi mo naman talaga ako kailangang tulungan sa kaso ko.”

Natigilan ako at tumitig sa mukha niya. Sadness is written all over her face, and I can see hopelessness.

“Kasalanan ko iyon at aminin ko man o hindi ay nagpadala ako sa mga salita ng abogadong iyon at sa mga iilang sandali ay hinagad kong magtamasa ng magandang buhay. Ang makaahon sa kahirapan, ang mapagamot si Tatay, at ang makalaya kami sa pagkakautang. Nanloko ako ng tao.” Shiela’s tears fell, pero patuloy lang ito sa paghuhugas ng pinggan. Hindi rin ito nakatingin saakin.

Lumamlam ang mata kong nakatingin sakaniya. I was silent. Shiela’s a good person, and now she’s even more willing to face the consequences of her actions.

“Paano ang Tatay mo? Kapag nalaman niya?” I asked, even though I know deep within me, I would still be willing to do something about this, lalo pa ngayon. Mas nakilala ko na sila.

Umiling si Shiela, “Hindi ko alam pero sana ay huwag nalang ipaalam kay Papa, huwag muna ngayon, dahil kakagaling lang niya sa sakit. Iyon nalang ang hihingin ko kay Sir Lozano. Pero ako mismo ang haharap sakaniya at kung gusto niya akong ipakulong, handa akong harapin iyon.” Shiela brushed her tears harshly.

Hindi na ako nagsalita pa. But Shiela was just a victim.

Night came and I helped Shiela prepare the room we’ll sleep in. May foam pero sa lapag lang pala sila natutulog. It’s a Queen size bed, at komportable naman pantulog. May dalawang kapatid rin pala ito. Ang isa ay high school, ang isa ay elementary school, and they’re both boys.

We are currently playing Uno cards, ito kasi ang nilalaro daw nila, and for a moment, I forgot that I had a problem, and that I was still mourning my mother’s death. Sa mga sandaling iyon ay parang nakaramdam ako ng saya, and so this is what it feels to have relatives? It is the bond that you don’t have to feel wary, you just feel like you’re close to them instantly, that you’re connected for some reason.

“Hmm plus two!” Masiglang sabi ni Sean, ang bunso nila. He’s 10 years old. He gave me his green plus two card, and expecting that I’ll be drawing two cards, tumawa ako sakaniya at inilapag ang green na skip card at kaagad naman siyang sumimangot na mas lalo kong ikinatawa.

“Ang konti nalang ng cards ni Ate Ice!” Pagmamaktol niya. It’s been a while since I’ve mingled with kids, they’re so innocent and playful. So expressive.

“Bakit mo kasi siya tinatalo, maglaro ka Sean, kaming lahat kalaban mo hindi lang si Ate Ice.” Nakangiting sabi ni Shiela at naglapag na rin ng cards.

“Ang sabi kasi niya saakin kanina, kapag nanalo ako bibigyan niya ako ng robot.”

Hindi ako nakaimik. I just want him to have some motivation. I was guilty when I looked away from Shiela who stared at me. Kahit naman hindi nila ako talunin, I will still give him robot.

“Ah! Uno!” Nagulat kaming lahat nang sumigaw si Shaun, ang isa pang kapatid ni Shiela na siyang teenager na. Tuwang-tuwa naman ito sa panalo. He was so serious and quiet the entire game, pero ngayon ay tuwang tuwa naman itong nanalo. Nakikitawa naman siya minsan, so I think, he’s the kind of person that takes things seriously first and will have fun afterwards. What a great character.

“Oh kita mo na Sean, ganyan maglaro.” Sabi ni Shiela habang iniipon ang mga cards na nakakalat. Nakasimangot lang si Sean habang nakatingin saakin.

After a few more games, Sean and Shaun went to sleep. Humiga na rin kami ni Sheila, pinahiram ako nito ng damit na halos sumakto lang saakin. Wala ang Mama nila dahil nagtatrabaho ito sa isang factory at kada tatlong araw lang pala itong umuuwi. The lights were off, but I am still awake, staring upfront.

Ngayon lang nagsync-in saakin na meron akong mansyon at malawak na lupain, and I still have relatives left. Kung malagpasan namin ang problema ni Shiela, I would gain peace, a mansion, hectares of lands, and relatives. Yes, I want this kind of things, they make me feel like I still have people in life that I can call family. They’ve welcomed me without any judgement which is what I am so happy about. I hope that I can visit them from time to time.

**

Nang mag-umaga ay sama-sama naman kaming nag-almusal. Shiela’s father just asked me about my personal life which I happily answered, and he was shocked that I still don’t have a husband or a boyfriend and thinks that I’m seriously passing my age of marrying.

I honestly didn’t think about that much before.

Hindi nakapagtapos si Sheila at kasalukuyan rin pala itong naghahanap ng trabaho, she’s applying to be maid pero wala pang tumatanggap, so I’ve thought of giving her a job pero hindi ko pa sinasabi.

Pagkaalis nina Sean at Shaun para pumasok sa eskwelahan ay nagpaalam na rin ako sa Tatay nila na aalis na, maging si Shiela.

“Tay, samahan ko lang si Ate Ice na bumalik sa mansyon.” Paalam ni Shiela sa Tatay nila. Her father just nodded and bid us goodbyes. Pagkatapos ay umalis na kami ni Shiela.

Shiela’s bravery really got me. Kahapon ay takot na takot ito, iyak ng iyak at nanginginig pero ngayon ay matapang pa itong sumama saakin pabalik ng mansyon. She’s not running away from Regan.

Pagdating namin sa mansyon ay inilibot muna ako ni Sheila sa buong mansyon. Ito rin pala ang kinalakihan niya, ang pangangalaga rito sa mansyon. Kapag bumibisita rito ang Tatay niy ay sinasama sila kaya’t alam niya ang bawat pasikot-sikot nito. It’s spacious mansyon, malawak at puno ng mga mamahaling gamit na pinaglipasan na ng panahon. The engraved designs of chairs, and sofa really screams Spaniard style. May lahing kastila ba kami?

There are figurines, chandeliers which some of the bulbs are no longer working, and paintings, and huge portraits. Mukhang hindi ginalaw ang mga furnitures ni minsan, may makikita ring alikabok. I don’t know what my family’s business back in the days to afford such extravagance.

The mansion has its own statement of elegance. The color scheme is a mix of white and wooden color. Ang daming mga kwarto, at ang lawak ng dining, kitchen, and living. Kung maninirahan ako rito, gagastos rin ako ng malaki dahil iyong ibang mga appliances ay hindi na gumagana, at kailangan rin itong malinis ng pulido. I will need few men to do the work, but I’m still thinking about the best thing to do.

Napabuga ako ng hangin dahil naramdaman ko ang pagod sa isang oras na paglilibot naming sa mansyon. Nasa ikalawang palapag ako na balkonahe. Nakadantang ang mga braso ko sa railing habang tinatanaw ang malawak na harapan ng mansion mula sa kinatatayuan ko. Tumabi saakin si Shiela at tumanaw rin sa malawak na frontyard. Nahihinuha ko ang itsura ng buong frontyard sa dati nitong itsura, it was landscaped excellently, and the trees were placed just right, and kaso lang, lanta na ang mga puno at nangalagas na, ang iba ay patay na rin. While the grass is dried, and the dried soil is all you could see in the yard.

Muling humaplos ang hangin sa mukha ko. This is where my mother grew up. Ito siguro ang tanawin na sinasabi ni Mama. Ito ang lugar na naalala niya sa mga huling hininga niya. I have decided now.

“Hindi ko ito ipagbibili.” I started while staring in the thin air.

“Nasa iyo naman ang buong karaptan, Ate. Kung tutuusin, wala ka naman pananagutan sa kaso ko. Hindi naman nagalaw iyong titulo na hawak ko. Kung tutuusin hindi mo naman talaga ako kilala.”

Tumingin ako kay Shiela, “Makikita natin kung ano ang sasabihin ni Regan.” Tugon ko.

Shiela’s teary-eyed again, “A-ang laking halaga ng 120 million Ate.” Garalgal na boses na sambit niya saka umiyak.

Hindi ako nakaimik. Kahit ako ay walang gaanong kalaking halaga. I patted her shoulder to comfort her. Sana ay mahuli iyong abogado. Sana mibalik nalang iyong pera.

As much as I want to help Shiela, I don’t think I have the means to get everything under control. But I’ll do what I can to lessen the consequences maybe.

Just right on time, the gate that is wide open from afar welcomed an unwelcome visitor riding a Black Sedan. Both Shiela and I stared at the moving Sedan until it stopped and minutes later, Regan came out, with shades on and a screaming picturesque wearing a midnight blue polo shirt, he looked up in our direction and took off his shades.

Even with the great distance, I saw his frown while looking directly at me with his determined and confident look. What a view, a hell of a view. Then I saw his lawyer who came out from the passenger. I exhaled.

I swallowed and clenched my fist, “There he comes,” I whispered. Sumeryoso ang mukha ko saka na tumalikod para bumaba at harapin ito.