Shifting Glances

KABANATA 34

I can’t really say that I prefer Regan’s sudden appearance to the plan of Dominic picking me up in the morning and sending me to the company, but then I realized that it’s better this way.

Dominic left the ring box with me last night, so I just left it on top of my doorbell’s cover with a letter on it. Wala rin naman saysay kung magkikita pa kami ni Dominic. Before Dominic arrived, Regan and I left my house.

Ngayon ay masyado pang maaga kung didiretso kami ng kumpanya! Pero sabi ni Regan ay may iba kaming pupuntahan.

“Saan ba tayo pupunta?” Kunot noong tanong ko habang abala ito sa pagmamaneho.

“Somewhere related to work, kaya huwag kang mag-isip ng kung ano-ano diy—

“Oh, you did say it’s ‘both’ related and unrelated to work.” I interrupted him using full of sarcasm.

He glanced at me quickly.

“Just sit there and wait.”

Inirapan ko siya.

“What do you want for breakfast?” Tanong nito bigla.

I glanced at my watch.

“We’ll do take outs. Just coffee and something to bite.” Normal kong tugon.

He just nodded, “Something specific.” Muling turan niya.

“I’m thinking of cinnamon roll and americano.”

Tumango ito at hindi na umimik.

I’m just fond of pastries.

Regan did get some breakfast, and it was his treat which I don’t know but he’s acting way nicer today… what’s gotten unto him? Ganoon ba nakapagpagising sakaniya ang pagkakasampal ko? Napalakas yata?

He ordered two americano and just one pastry.

“You don’t like pastries? Bread? Or you just simply don’t do breakfast?” Tanong ko habang humihiwa sa creamy cinnamon roll na naka paper box.

I glanced at him, and he shook his head not looking at me.

“It’s not that I don’t like bread and pastries, I’m just used to not having them.”

Napatango ako, “That’s so opposite of us, I love bread and pastries.” I state before getting a bite.

I giggled when I tasted the delicious flavor of cinnamon with the soft bread and its complimentary cream cheese glaze.

I even swayed my head while chewing. Then after swallowing it, I took a sip from my americano and its bitter taste after the sweetness of cinnamon roll is just a chef’s kiss.

The food made my morning!

“Never seen you so happy like that.”

Napalingon ako kay Regan habang ngumunguya ulit saka ito nilunok bago nagsalita.

“It’s just so delicious. You should try it, para naman mabawasan ‘yang simangot mo.”

Sinulyapan ako ni Regan ng side-eye pero mabilis lang iyon. Hindi naman ito umimik. I thought he was not so interested, but not when he slightly opened his mouth that made me stop for a second, staring at him in surprise.

“I thought you want me to try it?” Tanong nito nang hindi ako gumalaw ng ilang segundo.

I blinked and sliced the cinnamon roll in my hand. Mabilis kong inabot ang kutsara sa bibig niya. He accepted it and chewed on it. His americano is hot, while mine is cold, so there will be a bit of difference.

Inabot ko ang americano ko sakaniya at tinutok sa bibig nia ang straw. He glanced at me again.

“You won’t appreciate what I’m talking about if you won’t taste the same thing as I did.” Sabi ko at sumipsip naman siya roon pagkatapos niyang nilunok ang isinubo ko sakaniya.

Binalik ko na ang americano ko sa cup holder at tinignan siya.

“How was it?”

He nodded that made me smile.

“Good.” He gave me a faint smile that made me stare at him for a second.

When I realized I was staring at him, I immediately turned my gaze outside the window. My heart feels delighted. It’s beating so fast right in this moment, but I can’t let him notice my flustered face.

He’s got a girlfriend, Icely! Pigilan mo ang sarili mo.

It took us some time to get where we were going, until Regan entered a parking space in front of a huge building, and I’m familiar with it. It’s kind of a museum but this museum has part of 3D and recently, it was renovated and added a part where different styles of architectures around the world are presented.

Gulat kong nilingon si Regan nang mai-park na niya ang sasakyan. He glanced at his watch, and it was still 8:35 am. Doon na ito tumingin saakin.

“We arrived so early, nagbubukas iyan ng 9am.” Sabi nit at sumandal sa upuan ng driver’s seat.

I just shook my head because I’m already feeling the excitement to enter that museum! I really want to go here, and I’ve really planned to go here because of its recent renovation and added facilities. Didn’t expect Regan to bring me here!

“It’s fine, I can wait.” Even if I tried to conceal my excitement, I think I didn’t conceal it enough because Regan seemed to notice it.

He stared at me while casually and comfortably sitting and his back against the seat’s back rest. His stare was not sharp, but it was digging right into my very soul. He’s always doing this!

“What did you do with that Dominic Taddeo last night?”

“Why do you care?” I stared back at him with the same intensity.

“I want to know.”

My heart raced.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Because I care.”

I swallowed.

“Why do you care?” Pagbalik ko sa nauna kong tanong.

His eyes suddenly made some movements, as if examining my face. It wasn’t a blank stare, it was full of admiration, his eyes were sparkling the way I’ve never seen or noticed before, and it’s also due to our distance right now. I feel so close to him, physically and emotionally.

“Why do you think I care?” It was almost a whisper.

Muli akong napalunok, bakit ba hindi ako makaiwas sa titig niya? I scanned his face the way he scanned mine.

Then I suddenly thought of him having a girlfriend, thankfully! That made me break whatever spell he was putting on me! I secretly balled my fist and looked away.

“It’s because you want to play with my feelings.” Matigas na sabi ko.

“No. Playing with women is the least thing I want. That’s so boring.” Mukhang nagbalik na rin ito sa reyalidad nang marinig ko itong umayos at dumiretso ng upo.

Muli ko siyang tiningnan pero matalim, “Then why are you not keeping distance from me knowing that I’ve confessed my feelings for you that you literally rejected, and aside from that, you have a girlfriend.”

Nakatingin siya ng diretso sa labas nang ihilig nito ang ulo para tingnan ako.

“Saan mo ba galing ang isipan na may nobya ako?” Kunot ang noong tanong niya na ikinatigil ko.

I blinked.

“Emerald?” Mahinang sagot ko pero…

“No wait… she didn’t exactly tell me that you two have a thing, but you didn’t deny it as well… saka noong nagkaroon ka ng pasa, she saw your body, right? Then what else should I think about?”

Tumitig siya saakin hanggang sa mapapikit ito at bumuntong-hininga.

“Emerald and I don’t have any romantic relationship.” Seryoso at diretso ang boses nito. Hindi ako nakaimik at napatitig lang sa mukha nito hanggang sa magmulat siyang muli.

Ano itong namayaning kasiyahan sa dibdib ko?

“T-Then what? s*x partners?” Diretsong tanong ko.

Bigla itong tumitig saakin, habang ako ay napalunok. Bigla siyang ngumisi at pagak na natawa.

“I can’t imagine the worst version you’ve established of me within your mind.”

Napangiwi ako sakaniya.

“’E ano? Kung hindi kayo ganoon, at hindi mo rin siya nobya, ibig sabihin maaaring dine-deny mo lang siya at nagsisinungaling ka saakin—

“Emerald is not my girlfriend. That’s all there is. Believe me or not, there’s nothing going on between us, there has never been, and there will never be.” His voice was declaring.

Tumitig lang ako sakaniya hanggang sa bumuntong-hininga ako at umiwas ng tingin.

He just completely, and successfully rebuilt the hope I was trying so hard to destroy within me.

“Ngayon, ikaw naman ang magsabi saakin kung ano ang ginawa niyo ng Dominic Taddeo na iyon.” There was irritation in his voice that made me look at him again.

He was just staring at me nonchalantly, and I guess it’s his thing. Fine! I surrender.

“He proposed to me.” Umpisa ko.

His eyes darkened, and there was a line on his forehead. Biglang nangunot ang noo nito at galit akong tiningnan.

“Hindi ba’t kakakilalaniyo lang kagabi?” May iritasyon sa boses nito.

“Yeah. That’s why I was surprised beyond imagination.”

“Anong sinagot mo? Tinanggap mo?” Mas lalong nagalit ang boses nito.

“No. He is looking for a woman that can save him from his unwanted arrange marriage and I straightly declined. Gladly, he was kind and honest. His offer was tempting though.”

Gumalaw ang panga nito at tila may ikinukubling iritasyon.

“Tell me what offer he told you?”

“A peaceful marriage, no other women, stable and a comfortable life. No prenuptial agreement and all his wealth will be mine as well. He’s crazy rich, don’t you know him?”

“I don’t, but Denver does.”

Napatango ako.

Nakatingin lang ako kay Regan at hindi ko ikakailang nasisiyahan ako sa itsura niya ngayon.

“I’m crazy rich too.” Biglang sambit niya.

I almost let out a chuckle, gladly I just smiled.

“And? What’s your point?”

He stared at me, and once again, he looked like he couldn’t say something he would regret later, or he’s just choosing not to say it.

Umiwas ako ng tingin. I know that look very well, might as well not to question it anymore.

“Anyway, I’ve kindly declined it. Hopefully, makahanap siya ng babaeng mamahalin niya.” Pagtatapos ko sa topic namin.

“Huwag ka nang makipagblind-date.”

Gulat ko siyang tiningnan. Iyong tingin na nagsasabing, wala siyang Karapatan na diktahan ako, pero tinitigan niya lang ako na pinapakitang dapat kong sundin ang sinabi niya.

“Sabihin mo bakit hindi na dapat ako makipagblind-date? I at least want to experience dates, you know… lalo na ngayon, I just can’t let work consume all my time, ‘e ako nalang ang mag-isa sa buhay.” Kibit-balikat na paliwanag ko.

“Blind dates are risky. Para na rin sa’yo. Let’s say, Dominic Taddeo wasn’t an honest man. He made you fall in love without telling you the truth. The same thing with Leon Salvatore, he’s a Casanova, and you wouldn’t know that.”

Muli akong natahimik. He’s always on point.

Malungkot akong huminga ng malalim.

Paano ko makikita ang taong para saakin kung gayon? He doesn’t want to be with me either—

“I can take you to dates then, if you want dates, I’ll give you dates. Just don’t go into blind dates with random guys.”

Muling nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. Napatitig ako sakaniya ng may nanlalaking mga mata at hindi makapaniwala.

“H-Hindi ako nakikipagbiruan—

“Mukhang ba akong nagbibiro?” Seryosong salansan niya at tinitigan ako ng napakalalim.

“Regan, if you’re doing this out of pity, that would only make things worse for me.” Banta ko sakaniya.

“Out of pity?” He chuckled but with a tone of displease. Bigla itong umirap.

“Rich guys flocking over you… you’re not that pitiful to me.” May tono ng iritasyon sa boses nito.

“Then why are you doing this?” Naguguluhang tanong ko pa. Why can’t he say it?

He glanced at me again, this time, with eyes saying that what he’s about to say is his only answer and there will be no follow-up questions that he’ll entertain.

“Because I want to go on dates with you.”

I almost lost my breath. That was so simple, but it made my heart race even more.