It's Always Been You (Book 1)

ten

Nicky p.o.v

It's been 1 month since I last saw Joshua. He hasn't come back to the coffee shop, to our lake spot or the bar. I am going crazy. I don't know what to do. I went back to school, and everything has been going great, besides Joshua not turning up, but 2 days ago I was feeling really sick and couldn't stop throwing up. Kiki wanted to take me to the pack doctor, so Lesa told him she would do it so he wouldn't miss work. She kept giving me a weird look. Once Kiki left for training, she straight up asked me if I was pregnant. PREGNANT I never even thought about getting pregnant. She said I smelled different than I normally do. I started crying and told her I didn't think so. She asked me if I was sexually active. At least she was being sweet and calm. Told me to trust her. That she will always help me no matter what. I cried even harder. What if I was pregnant, and Joshua is missing. Once I calmed down I told her everything. She had me take an in-home pee pregnancy test. Those were the longest 3 minutes of my life. Lesa was amazing the whole time. She rubbed my back, my hair and wiped my tears away. We finally looked at the test and sure enough, big positive sign on it. My face must have paled, because Lesa asked if I was okay. No I'm not f*****g okay I am too young to be pregnant. Holy s**t Kiki is going to f*****g kill me. I am so dead. We ended up going to the pack clinic. I got all of the information they give expecting mothers and we went home. I cried again and Lesa just hugged me and held me while I let it all out. "Kian is going to be so mad, he is going to hate me." I said through tears. "I will be there to calm him down, don't worry about him." "I messed up so bad Lesa, the last thing I want to do is disappoint and embarrass you and Kiki, give you both problems. You guys don't need to deal with all of this." I cried. "I know, don't worry, I am not disappointed in you. Things happen sweetheart, that's life and we will be here for you no matter what, that is what family is for. I will always have your back and that baby will be a blessing to us all Nicky, but we need to form a plan and tell your brother asap." I sigh That's what I'm afraid of.

Today is Saturday morning, Lesa and I got up and made Kiki his favorite breakfast. He was in a good mood I was afraid to ruin it. I just hope he doesn't kill me. We all sat down to eat, then Lesa brought them both a drink. I quickly texted the group chat and told them that I had a 911 emergency that I had to tell them after I talked to my brother, but to prepare for the worse. Then I put my phone away. Time to get this over with. "Kiki, you know you are my favorite brother, right?" I ask him. He laughs. s**t, I am so f*****g nervous. I can't do this. Maybe I can just run away. Yes, I will leave a note and contact them again after I have the baby. Maybe once it's here he won't be angry. "I am your only brother; you have no choice. Although I think you love Deacon more than me." He pouts. I smile sadly at him. s**t what do I do? I look at Lesa who smiles and nods for me to go. f**k it he won't kill me and the baby. He might get mad at me, but it isn't the baby's fault. Okay. Breathe "Kiki I have something to tell you, but before that I want to say that I am so sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen. You have raised me better than this and I am so ashamed, but I hope you can forgive me." I quickly tell him. "Nicky, you are scaring me. What did you do?" I slowly breathe in and let it out. "I'm pregnant" I say in a low voice. I look at my brother and he looks shocked. Okay I guess he was not expecting me to say that at all. His face starts turning angry "What Nicole, What the hell did you just say to me? It's Deacon's isn't it? I knew I shouldn't have let you around that little s**t. You two shouldn't have become friends." He yells at me. "I am going to kill him." He throws his drink and it crashes into the wall right next to my head. "Kian" Lesa yells. f**k he is definitely going to kill me. Rip to me. "How could you do this to me Nicole and to yourself? You are only 18 years old." He roars. "You just turned 18 at that and you are going to find your mate and guess what? You better f*****g hope it's Deacon cause if it isn't, your fated mate won't want you, because you are pregnant with someone else's baby." He yells. His eyes are bulging out and he has crazy veins popping out of his neck and forehead. I've never seen my brother this angry before. f**k. "Kian Vanderguard!" Lesa yells. He looks over to her. "Stay out of this baby, Nicole messed up and now needs to face the consequences. She wants to be out w*****g around, then go." He yells looking at me with so much hate. "Kian, Nicky made a mistake, stop yelling and listen to her." Lesa tells him softly, grabbing his hand. I know she is trying to get him to calm down. He snatches it away. "No Lesa, my 18-year-old sister is not about to have a baby okay." "Kian stop this." Lesa looks like she is getting angry as well. This is what I was trying to avoid happening. I can't stop crying. The two people I love the most in the world are fighting because of me. My mistake and Joshua still is nowhere to be found. I don't even think I can go to him. I'm screwed. I look up at my brother with tears running down my face. "I'm not getting rid of my baby Kiki, sorry, but I just can't." I tell him. "I can't even look at you right now Nicole, you disgust me." he spits out. Lesa gasps "This isn't the girl I raised. Now I am going to go beat Deacon's ass and talk to his parents." It takes me a moment to realize what he just said. "It isn't Deacon's." I tell him. He turns around and the look of disgust he gives me makes me shake. "Who's is it Nicole?" I can't reply. I can't talk. I am so scared right now. I have never seen Kiki act this way. Especially towards me, but I guess finding out your little sister that you are responsible for is pregnant will do that to you. "I want you out of this house in 1 hour Nicole, if you aren't out by the time I come back, I will throw you, that baby and all of your s**t out myself." he yells at me. "Kian stop this right now. You can't do this." Lesa yells, but it falls on deaf ears as he walks out and slams the door. Well that went horrible. I run to my room and call Deacon. He answers after 2 rings "Deacon I need your help!"