Sweet Southern Haven

Tears

{Noelle’s POV}

[Reader Discretion Advised: This episode talks about the loss of a child during pregnancy. Along with domestic abuse, and S/A.]

I decided to take a shower after Adeline left, I also changed the sheets and comforter on the master bedroom bed. I wanted it to feel a little more like home, instead of someone else’s house that I’m just staying in. For the foreseeable future, this is where I’ll be, and I have to get used to it. I dried my hair, taking my straightener out and flattening down my natural curls. My hair always had beautiful kinky curls, but I wasn’t really in the mood to fix them right now, so it’s just easier to straighten them down. I tossed on a pale pink tank top, with a white and grey flannel shirt overtop, and a pair of high waisted jeans, with some white fuzzy socks. Soon I made my way back downstairs and heated up the food that Adeline had made for me. As I opened the fridge, I could see the picture that her granddaughter had drawn for me. Memories flooded within my brain, my child would be about four now, but I lost him before he was even born. I was 36 weeks pregnant, they aren’t sure what happened, I just lost him. It was the worst day of my life, my mother comforted me, and I was finally able to pull through the pain. Parker made my life he** after that, telling me that I was useless as a woman if I couldn’t even carry a baby. So many times I thought of leaving him, he wasn’t a good man, but for some reason, I thought I loved him. I tried so hard to shake the memories away, but they sunk in once again.

The night that he was arrested was one of the worst nights during my abuse. He had busted up my eye socket, broken my clavicle, dislocated my shoulder, and hip. I called the cops, and told them everything, I told them about the abuse, the se**** assault, and the money laundering that he had been doing within his company. They promised that he’d be put away for good, but they were wrong. His escape put me in serious danger, and no matter the cost Agent Nickles promised to protect me. I wasn’t sure if I could trust him, I honestly am still terrified to trust anyone, but I had to rely on him. Just like I have to rely on Adeline, not that I want to be so reliant, but because if I don’t, I may slip up and he could find me. I know that if he finds me, he won’t let me out of his grasp again. I sunk down on the floor behind the island, and pulled my knees to my chest allowing myself to feel the emotions that I’d been holding in.

The abuse, the loss of my baby, the loss of my mother, the loss of the father that I never knew. Having to move away from everyone and everything that I’ve ever known. It was too much, and no matter how stoic I try to be, these emotions had to come out sometime. Tears streamed down my face, as I allowed myself to cry.

“Why are you crying?” I heard a soft, small voice beside me.

I looked up from my place in the floor to see two big brown eyes staring at me. The little girl couldn’t be any older than four or five, she had chocolate brown hair, that fell just below her shoulders. She looked so much like Adeline, and I pieced together that she must be the artist that made that picture for me. I wiped my eyes, looking over to her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were here.” I tried my best to plaster on a smile.

“I snuck away! I always liked coming to uncle Roy’s house to play!” She giggled, sitting down on the floor beside me. “Do you like to play?”

I paused for a moment, unsure of how to respond. “You know, it’s been a very long time since I’ve played anything.” I spoke softly. “What do you like to play?” I asked.

“Ooh! I like hide and seek, tag, checkers, and go fish!” She smiled, her eyes were bright, she was a truly happy child.

“Those all seem like very fun games!” I smiled back at her. “Are you Emmaline?”

She nodded. “Yeah, that’s me! I drew you a pretty picture!” She pointed to the fridge. “It’s my dog, Biscuit!”

I giggled softly. “Thank you very much, you’re quite the artist, but tell me something Emmaline..” I paused. “Does anyone know that you’re here?” I asked, looking at her expression.

Her eyes widened, and she shook her head looking away from me. “I ran off..” she said. “I just wanted to come see you!”

I nodded. “I figured as much.” I stood up, dusting myself off. “Alright, let’s get you back up to your nana’s house before they all start to panic.” I smiled, holding my hand out to her.

She jumped up taking my hand and tugging me towards the door. “Okay, but I get to lead the way!” She cheered, pulling me out of the house, and up the hill.

As we walked up the hillside I could hear a man with a deep, and grumbly voice shouting. “Emmaline, this isn’t funny! Come out right now!” He was frantic, I could hear it in the way he shouted.

Once we made our way to the top of the hill I could see him. He was tall, honestly the tallest man I’d ever seen, standing at about 6’8. He was bulky, and muscular, his eyes that same brown as Emmaline’s, and his hair also a chocolate brown. He had a well trimmed beard, and was wearing a plain t-shirt, with a pair of jeans, cowboy boots, and a cowboy hat. As he looked over to us he let out a sigh of relief. He stepped towards us, looking to Emmaline. “I’m guessing she’s your daughter.” I smiled softly. “She wanted to tell me herself that she was the one who drew that lovely picture of her dog Biscuit.” I let go of her hand as he reached us, and she dove into his arms.

He pulled her up, hugging her tightly. “You know better than to run off!” He snapped at her, sighing before setting her down. “Thank you, for bringing her home.” He said, looking down at me.

I nodded, smiling to Emmaline. “She was very kind to come check up on me.”

“She was sad daddy, she was crying!” Emmaline said, causing me to look away from both of them.

“Anyways, I should get going, I just wanted to make sure that she got back home safe, and that you guys didn’t freak out about her being gone. Nice meeting you all.” I said, turning, and quickly making my way back down to the house and closing the door. I couldn’t bear to stand there any longer, or to look at him. I hated feeling so weak and broken, but it’s exactly what I am.