The f*******n Crown

Chapter |19|

M M E L I N E ' S P. O. V

"You told him what?" This was...not what I was expecting. At all.

I came as soon as Mal informed me of Damien's request for my presence. To send someone else made me think the worst.

When I saw that he was breathing all on his own, not bleeding and looking completely healthy, I finally allowed myself to breathe, relief flooding my veins.

I was mere inches away from hugging him, these past few days have been filled with wedding plans and shopping and meetings. Endless demands that have dragged me away from those I love most.

Then he stopped me, placing his hand out as though I had the plague. Honestly, I smelt myself, but then he sighed, drawing a sad smile with his lips and said, "Emmeline, even if you looked like a something from the bottom of a swamp and smelt as bad as human excrements, I would still hug you, still kiss you, because sweetheart, you have no idea how much my body burns for yours."

A strange confession of love, but my heart bloomed open all the same. "Then what is it? Why won't you touch me?"

"Becuase when I tell you what I need to tell you, then you're not going to want anything to do with me."

I laughed, the idea immediately sounding absurd. "That's impossible, I could never hate you."

The grim smile on his face, the lack of confidence of a man whose ego is often too big to fit into the room, only intensifies the fear that strikes cold through my blood.

"God, he should be here by now." I resist the urge to comfort my boyfriend with touch, instead forcing myself to take a step back. If he didn't want to be touched, I wouldn't make him.

"Maybe he just got caught up? Who did you send?"

"Nevermind." The loud footsteps grow closer, the clearest indicator that the third part of our trio has arrived.

Ajax is wearing a white button down, barely done up, and his hair drips wet, which causes my mind to spiral into a fantasy of us all together in the shower.

"Great, we can start." Damien boomed, forcing me to bite my lip as if to quell the salacious thoughts racing through my mind.

"What, no greeting kiss? Or even a hello?" Fisting his shirt, I drag him against my body, fingers sinking into that lucious mop of hair as our lips fuse. "f**k," He murmurs, hand palming my a*s, whilst friction burns against us, the only thing stopping us from creating heat being our flimsy clothes.

Damien clears his throat, the tactic he uses to draw attention back to him during meetings. "Why are you being like this?" I involuntarily snap.

"I'm not being like anything, I just wish to discuss this business first."

Ajax frowns, wrapping his arm around my waist. "What business?"

"The business that apparently is so severe I'll hate him too much to even let him touch me, which, by the way, would never be true. Even if I really did hate you, which would never happen, then I would still fall victim to your touch. You're iristable baby."

That earns me a short lived smile, but saddens the longing in his eyes. I drift towards him, tentatively placing my hands on his cheeks, "Damien, what is it? No matter what you have done, we will still love you."

Ajax gently places his hand on his shoulder, matching my soft smile. "That's what love is. You should know that more than anybody because you would never give up on either or us, and you know that, so what makes you think we would ever give up on you?"

I note the smallest tear that escapes his eye, and catch it before it can cement itself by falling. "I told my father about us, about everything."

Shock prevails for a moment before I can let the reassurance bubble out but for everything I thought possible that it could be, this was never even an option. "You told him what?"

Damien shakes us off, and our limbs fall flat, both overcome with his proclamation. "I know, I should have spoken to you both first and we should have done that together but I couldn't hold it in anymore, I just couldn't do it."

"What did he say?"Ajax voices, curiosity filling his tone.

"Well...as expected he wasn't exactly pleased."

"Because there's three of us." That's what I'm afraid of most. That my parents won't understand or accept that three people can share the same romance as any other, that they'll use my relationship to define every feeling towards me, and every response to my actions as Queen.

"No, actually he was happy with the concept. It was more the fact that it's you and Ajax." He lets out a laugh of slight disbelief. "He actually cried. Can you believe that? He f*****g cried because he thinks I'm condemning myself to death by loving you both."

"You can't choose who you love!" I defend.

"I know Emmy, I tried to explain but he fears what I think all our parents will...that we are all putting targets on our backs, which we are but we knew that, didn't we? It was the risk we all took when we decided to do this."

Ajax clasps my hand, then Damien's, "I don't regret it. Not even the pain of thinking I was losing you both."

That strikes my heart a little, even though we've settled the matter. Ajax was upset about the engagement and it was really the first time that I didn't have a f*****g clue on how to help him feel better. Thankfully, alcohol helped us both get drunk before confessing the emotions we've been bottling down for so long.

Tears were shed but the make out session that followed was the best f*****g form of healing.

"I still f****d it, I didn't think...I wasn't using my brain."

"But love isn't supposed to be logical. You went with your heart and we would never fault you for that." Cupping his stubble lined jaw, he sinks into the gesture, seeking touch more than anything else. "Maybe we should all talk to your father?"

"That could do more damage than good."

I shrug, "What have we got to lose? He already knows."

Finally, he gives in and smiles, brushing his petalled lips against my cheek and then Ajax's. "Tomorrow, tonight I simply just want to be with you both."

"I haven't got any plans."

I glance at Ajax, "Me either, I'm off duty for the week."

"You're not wearing your ring." Damien notes, pulling my hand to rest over his beating chest.

"There's no need too. I told you it was just for decoration." The diamond literally weighed down on my heart, a glittering reminder of my inevitable future married to a man that's not either of the men I love.

Taking the finger normally adorned by the ring, he gently places the tip in his mouth, swirling his tongue in ways that mimic the actions coming for me later. I practically ache at the thought of his tongue on my raw p***y, Ajax prying my legs open like a feast for our lover to devour.

"Want me to f**k your a*s until your begging me to stop?" I barely manage a nod. "How about Ajax f***s your mouth too?"

The thought constantly plaguing my mind comes back to haunt and I shake my head. He frowns, "Why not? Too much today?"

"No, but I want you both inside of me." It's the fantasy I've been fighting to make reality but they're both insistent that I'm...

"You're not ready yet." Damien states as matter of fact as ever whilst Ajax fights a snigger.

It worth a f*****g shot. "Fine then." I fold my arms across my chest. "Then I want you to suck Ajax's c**k, let him choke you, beg for our forgiveness and then maybe, just maybe I'll let you f**k me."

That inky brow arches high, "Giving high demands, aren't you Princess? I thought I was forgiven."

"It's not an apology unless you're down on your knees."

***

"I know you don't want to talk about it but I was thinking that you could wear the new champagne gown with custom swan feathers? It's made by that designer, the one that made you the dress for the summer gala which you loved. Anyways, it was just a thought we don't have to discuss it, if you don't want to."

Mal's word drift through my empty mind.

"Sorry, what?"

She appears startled for a moment and then laughs. "Never mind, clearly you don't want to talk about it if your mind doesn't register anything concerning your engagement. Not exactly the blushing excited bride I had in mind."

I sigh, pen tapping furiously against the blank pages. "It's just very stressful. I guess I'm more the aggravated annoying bride than the perfect one depicted in the media."

"Don't say that. You can feel however you want, it's your wedding. Your engagement."

"It doesn't feel like that." Perk one of being a royal celebrity is that everyone has an opinion on your wedding, your feelings, your actions. It's almost impossible to escape everyone's reactions.

I'm becoming tired of playing the facade of the doting bride.

"Ignore them. How about we discuss your writing?"

Frustration tears out of me and I dramatically slump onto the desk. "Ahhh." I groan loudly.

"Okay, how about we talk about nothing? Why don't you go on a walk instead? Draw some inspiration from nature, get some fresh air."

Turning my head, I stare out at the bright sun that shines into my room, lighting the diamond chandelier so it creates a myriad of sparkles everywhere. "Sounds like a good idea."

Fifteen minutes later I'm strolling the ground with my guard Jenkins, who acts as Ajax's second in command and then a new guard, Wren. Weirdly the inspiration I draw is from his flaming red hair that appears synonymous with the falling autumn leaves.

I scribble down a line into my notebook, no longer the plain alabaster it was before.

Poetry has become my vice recently.

Expressing my emotions through words as the family counsellor put it. Yes, even royals have emotional damage to talk about.

Though it doesn't help that patient confidentiality doesn't work in the Palace. If I came out with - I'm the crowned princess of Dahlia and am in a relationship with both my advisor and personal guard despite being engaged to a king - I doubt it would go down well.

More likely my parents would be informed and the gossip would spread like wildfire throughout the palace, before reaching the tabloid's ears.

Now that would be a f*****g disaster.

Damien is still punishing himself for telling his father. For being human, despite mine and Ajax's efforts to assure him that he isn't at fault. Not at all.

Uncle Elliot was angry, and when the three of us spoke to him, he grew enraged, telling us that we had ruined all our lives and destroyed his son. I'm not going to lie, that hurt, but it was Ajax that acted as our salvation.

He told Elliot the story of us.

In a way that made me literally bawl like a baby. Even Damien shed a tear or two, and Elliot.

He hugged us, which almost broke us all, and felt like some form of acceptance. Damien made him vow not to tell anyone, only if we promised to eventually tell the rest of our parents be

We said yes - no further plans have been made to follow through with it and quite frankly, I was f*****g terrified.

"Ah," The grunt of pain comes from behind me.

I whip around, not expecting to find Jenkins bleeding out, his throat viciously slashed whilst fresh blood dripped from Wren's sword. Fear paralyses all nerves in my body, knowing where this goes next.

I'm already running, loud footsteps closely following but I choose to follow my flight instinct all the way. My lungs are burning as I make it to the clearing, no f*****g way of finding my way back to the palace without turning around and I know there is nothing or no-one for miles.

His body suddenly slams into mine. My head connects with a hard stone, blood trickling down my cheek as the pain burns its way through my body. I let out an ear piercing scream, but he slaps me hard enough that my eyes blur.

I feel hands wrap around my throat, silencing the anguished sounds that manage to leave my throat.

What did Ajax always say...

Oh right, go for the d**k first.

I just kick up with no aim, and my knee connects with his crotch, forcing him to keel over. Shoving him off, I stumble as I stand and begin to run.

I run for my f*****g life because this ends in death either way. His or mine.

________________________________

A/N: How you think Emmeline will get out of this??